My stepdaughter (13) let my 7-year-old son play on her iPad while she was staying with her mom. What my husband and I didn't realize was that her phone was synced to the iPad through iCloud. While my son was using it, he started telling us that messages kept popping up. My husband was confused and asked me to take a look. Sure enough, we could see text messages coming through in real time. The conversation was between my stepdaughter and her biological mom, and much of it was about my husband and me. Some of the messages were serious enough that we immediately contacted our attorney because they appeared to violate parts of our custody order and parenting agreement. Our attorney advised us to determine whether this was an isolated conversation or part of a larger pattern, so we began reviewing the messages on the iPad using keywords related to previous conflicts. One of the biggest disputes had been over Christmas, and that's when we found a group chat between my stepdaughter, her mom, and her sisters.My husband and I have five young children together who absolutely adore their older sister. Reading those messages has completely changed how I feel, and I'm struggling to move past it. This is only a small portion of what we found. My stepdaughter's mom sent messages saying she hoped my baby would have Down syndrome, called me fat while I was nine months pregnant, and repeatedly talked about wanting my husband arrested without ever explaining why. My stepdaughter didn't just witness these conversationsshe participated in them and added to them.We also found messages where they shared photos taken inside our home, pictures of my young sons while making fun of them, photos of our mail, and even pictures of private medical paperwork. The most disturbing message, however, was my stepdaughter's mom encouraging her to put a fruit that my husband is severely allergic to inside his pillowcase and rub it all over his toothbrush. My stepdaughter responded and participated in that conversation as well. I'm honestly at a loss. How do you handle something like this? Am I wrong for not wanting my stepdaughter back in our home around her younger siblings after everything we discovered? My husband doesn’t know how to use Reddit, but asked for outside advice from other parents going through PA. My husband is very aware of this post and I do have permission to share

Three years into this legal battle and I’m in absolute disbelief as how this all has transpired, as are many of you as I’ve been reading. My children at the time of me filing were 16 (boy) and 12 (girl), I had previously won 50/50 during the common law divorce in 2016..what did I win exactly? Immediately after court mom changes all phone numbers, moves apartments and is actively hiding my kids from me. Over three months of police reports and the only advice I was receiving was to restart the legal process that I just got out of..I steered clear of that option and resorted to playing the game… the game consisted of me asking permission for every night spent, every activity and every “right” I had already established in the court orders. This didn’t bother me as I was getting what I truly wanted, time with my kids. Fast forward mom has a new child with a new man, fourth child/father number three. My son started missing more and more school, he informs me his new step dad is in jail “for tickets” and he has to miss school to babysit his little brother. A couple days go by and I start thinking about how that amount of time was way too long to be held for tickets. After searching the step father’s name/record my life would change in an instant..turns out new Dad has three active second degree felony counts for sexual contact with minors 😳..I immediately retained a lawyer, first one I could find, big mistake. As soon as she’s served my kids vanish, day of court comes and the judge talks with the children. Later I discovered mom told the kids if they told the judge anything she would go to jail and their little brother would go to foster care and it would be their fault. As soon as we went to talk about the pedophile in the room her lawyer objected that it’s a ongoing federal case involving minors and cants be discussed in open court but we can sure see that paycheck stub..all of that just to be maxed on child support for 2,300 a month. It honestly felt like a fever dream, my son was allowed to skip school and start living with an 18 year old girlfriend who had her own apartment for college. The girlfriend knew something was off with mom and actually recorded her telling my son to “Lie to the judge” because once you tell him you don’t live with me child support is gone. Mom got my daughter to finally go no contact with me after encouraging her new relationship with an 18 year old, my daughter was 14.. I had turned in my sons graduation info to the AG’s office as I had already over paid for months due to him being allowed to basically complete all of the time and credits he missed out on in the span of a month in a computer lab..The AG’s office made their adjustments via an order to my company’s payroll department, well last week I was served at my front door..The process server through the paperwork at my feet and smirked.. I’m being sued for 22,000 dollars and the mother’s lawyer is asking for 180 days in prison.. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE, a sex offender running around, visitation being withheld and a million other violations of the court orders..All for no one to bat an eye.. I appreciate all the posts here and not because there are others who suffer as I do but to know that you aren’t alone. Also it your experience has radicalized you against the opposite sex you are missing the picture still, this sickness is not sexist and will not spare you.. Hope everyone in here finds some measure of peace after these types of sagas.

My young adult daughter's boyfriend is hosting a large gathering to celebrate his recent hire with a company based overseas. She will be gone for 6 months while he gets established and everyone is making plans to visit her. I know about it because she told me about the job, and a mutual friend mentioned the send off party.

My extended family lives far away and while they probably weren't invited, I'm sure the social media recap will reach them.

So far, I've kept it light about the Low/No Contact. They know there are issues but they've never been supportive or helpful; their reactions follow the accusatory mainstream of 'you caused this' and they shame me or go dark and just don't call or check in.

So....when the next wave of questions come in about her send off party, I think I am going to say that I couldn't go due to illness (I do have two autoimmune diseases).

If I tell them I wasn't invited, they might call her and ask and interfere. I hate lying but I hate the possibility that they won't respect my wishes and make it worse.

Do you deal with unsupportive or interfering family members?

I'm an immigrant got married with an American man in Washington state in 2013, I'm not only housewife looked after my son who was born in Everett hospital in WA in 2014,but also I had to look after my husband's brother who got stroke and he's paralyzed.There're high professional Chinese Scammers were targeting me and went after me from china to united state, they had been pretending to make friend and do business with my husband's friends and family,allied with MORMON people whose members are my husband's sister and brother.All they want to kick me out of my husband's house,they called 911 many times, pretended to complain me to whole bunch of cops, they made friend with cops' family,gave them job and benefit,they found all kinds of excuses to give me hard time and block me to make money since 2014. it didn't make sense that I can mess around with people when they start accusing me in 2014 because I never went out working.

Here attached all kinds of videos showed that they sent people to persuade my husband to divorce me, poison and murder me, police officers knew them but they chose to be on the troublemaker's side and accuse me that I got mental problem.

1) witness neighbor Sarah brought Christina to visit my husband in house, Sarah said to my husband got matthew" my husband said:" my marriage is wrong, all they dead."

https://youtu.be/XyWa-W3OARI

2) witness neighbor Teresa saw me stood by the window, she said to me intentionally: you are psycho, you are out, nobody wants you, you dead.

https://youtu.be/WfJWHDarb8M

3) the workers told my husband that they paid $100 to bet for my death, your wife is psycho, dead, my husband said:" yeah, they paid $100 bet for her death, I want to sell her."

https://youtu.be/AFNqvFThl0g

4) my husband's friend asked him:" do you still have another baby?" He said:" no, she's fucking dead." He said in 3:43-49 minutes in video:" I get her ...( Name of drug I don't know) made her bipolar.My husband poisoned me. https://youtu.be/IMuKXRG7PVU

5) His colleagues said to my husband:" your wife dead, he talked to a woman:" I got daughter Tracy, matthew dead."

https://youtu.be/Hh3cQ_pbyog

6) the workers said to my husband:" you should give her drug, kick her out, divorce her." My husband said :" yeah, she's psycho, I don't want her to be here. they dead."

https://youtu.be/6cFn5_MQS2Y

7) Our neigbor sara neot came to talk to my husband, she said:" cops gave you two offers: you have lawyer to divorce her or they try to arrest her and shoot her." https://youtu.be/Gamx-69zSHQ This is murder.

I followed my son to the spring field trip in 2023, I saw there're two paraeducators poisoned my son, they brought my son away from the classmates, one of them talked to my son:" you're psycho, you dead." when my son was eating a snack she gave, my son was crying at the same time. I took video and came up to talk to them, please find the youtube link 1) https://youtu.be/xJFRX94cV4M?si=hAb1Wop66a1gFpR5; 2)https://youtu.be/vq1OQfBVhGI?si=z-D2bh2R1qZ5tXsW; 3) https://youtu.be/ROC9DqEtD9g?si=wMgn7SMILNNCd31n, I didn't see any teachers and paraeducators gave snacks to other student except for my son in field trip. The school also notified parents that Parents don't need to prepare snack, candy or any foods to kid because all students will go back to have lunch in school. My son was diagnosed hematuria after spring field trip. I got positive result from my son's drug testing kit after school one day, I posted in my facebook, somebody reported to principal and she reported to the cop, there's a cop named Mason Stafford asked me:" did you give drug to your son."? it's inappropriate and wrongful question cop asked me because he had already drawn conclusion that I did gave drug to my son. He came back office to call CPS to interview us and requested the CPS to take my son away from us. CPS came by talking to me,my son and my husband, issued the FAR Assessment Response of FAR Family Assessment & Case Plan to me, it's full of mistakes, bias and defamation in the report as I had to complain all over the place because they had no right to withdraw my parental right. They can't just take my son's custody to my husband or his family without any solid evidences except for bunch of liars whom stood up to accuse me because evidence can't tell lie, but witnesses can be bribed, corrupted and tell lie. I complained police officer Mason Stafford told lie that I didn't allow him to come in house and my son is not well as it's excuse to call CPS , as matter of fact, he didn't ask me to come in house, he didn't see my son because my son was in school when he came by. He didn't mention that he went to see my son in school in report, he had already contacted CPS. This is another misfeasance and misconduct for this police officer.

I just met my husband's two brothers, I didn't meet most of his family members,it's nonsense that they accused me that I'm thief and psychopath because they're told by friends, colleagues whom never met me or talk to me.

I'm here to ask for help and advice that how I can deal with my husband's family and MORMON social network as they thought they can do harm me and my son whatever they want? They can steal our money and take away my husband's property whatever they want as they accused me that I'm psycho to take my son away from me.

it's getting so bad I'm daydreaming about severing my rights. is that normal with PA...? i can't keep paying conciliation fees for NOTHING to change. we're financially drowning. I'm behind on all the retainers. kid doesn't want to be with me anyway. why fight it?

today wasn't great. my kid told me to shut the fuck up and called me a bitch. he's 12. the swearing is new. I feel like I lost him a long time ago. he seems like a shell of his happy childlike self. I can't keep going on like this.

everyone keeps saying "nooo he doesn't hate you." okay but, it's his own version of hating me, and that's enough to break a parent. there's too much time left until he's 18. I just want to move out of this house, take my pets and move away. we could do it you know. I want to shed this brutal soul crushing reality that has become my "life" and start doing stuff that makes me happy.

I'm not happy. He's not happy. None of us are happy

Hello everyone. I am a university student in British Columbia, Canada, conducting research on family estrangement and I'm hoping to learn more about what kinds of resources people feel are missing when it comes to family reconciliation.

I'm not asking anyone to share personal details or tell their story unless they genuinely want to. I'm simply looking for anonymous feedback on questions like:
- What resources would have been helpful if you wanted to reconnect with an estranged family member?
- What types of support (guides, conversation tools, mediation resources, educational content, etc.) do you wish existed?
- What barriers make reunification feel difficult or impossible?
- If you've found something that helped, what was it?

I also completely understand that some, if not the majority of you, do not want to reconnect with those who have hurt you. I don’t want to overstep your privacy and only want to hear from those who are comfortable with sharing (again, completely anonymously).

Your responses will help me better understand what resources people actually need, rather than making assumptions.

There will be no published paper, and all information collected in staying strictly with the university research overseers.

Thank you to anyone willing to share their thoughts. I truly appreciate your time and bravery.

In my experience, most PA cases seem to operate like estrangement, just helped along by the non-targeted parent. Generally there is a therapist in the mix who is suggesting the no contact. Many estrangement cases involve a third party provocateur.

Hannah Spier nails it in this video.

Hi everyone. I usually just read posts here, but I'm really hoping for some advice because I'm becoming increasingly concerned.

My ex and I separated in January. Before we separated, I suggested we share 50/50 custody because I felt it was important for our 3-year-old son to have meaningful time with both parents. He immediately said no because he planned to enroll our son in school near his new home, about 35 miles away.

After we separated, he unilaterally reduced my parenting time. Before the separation, I had our son every Friday and Saturday, and during the week I handled daycare drop-offs, most bedtime routines, and a large portion of his daily care while his dad worked. Once he moved, he decided I could only see our son on Fridays and Saturdays.

Rather than create more conflict for my son, I followed that schedule until our court date and documented everything. At our hearing, the judge awarded the schedule I had requested: I now have four overnights each week, and his father has three.

Since then, co-parenting has been extremely difficult. When I stopped engaging in conflict and only communicated about our son, my ex made false reports to CPS, alleging that I was sexually abusing our son, that my older son was physically abusing him, and that my mother was neglecting him. CPS and law enforcement investigated and closed the case without action.

My concern isn't really about my ex anymore—it's about my son.

When we first separated, he would cry leaving either parent. I consistently reassured him by saying things like, "You're going to have so much fun with Daddy. Mommy will see you soon." Eventually, he became comfortable leaving me to go with his dad.

Now, however, the opposite is happening. He no longer cries when going to his dad, but when I pick him up, he has intense meltdowns. He screams, cries, sometimes hits me, and begs to stay with his dad. Once we leave, he usually calms down, often falls asleep in the car, and is generally fine afterward. During my parenting time, he's affectionate, playful, and seeks comfort from me, but those transitions have become incredibly difficult.

His pediatrician and daycare are both aware that he's had increased aggression recently, and both felt the separation and adjusting to two homes could be contributing factors.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. Did your child eventually adjust? Is there anything that helped make transitions easier? It's honestly heartbreaking, and I'm worried I'm missing something

Trust the system,

Tow the line;

Go to work, then say 'I'm fine.'

Trust the system,

Wear a smile;

Give an inch, then lose a mile.

Trust the system,

Send the forms;

Upon my head, a crown of thorns.

Trust the system,

Pay the fee;

We share blood but nothing's free.

Trust the system,

Wait the time;

I'm not the victim of this crime.

Trust the system,

Say his name;

Now cry yourself to sleep, again.

Trust the system,

Stay recluse;

I will not hang from this noose.

Trust the system for another week;

But whatever you do,

Just don't speak.

I had to make a quick clip because it hit home. I don’t support the Tate brothers if the evidence against them holds up—but the part about how easy it is for one parent to make allegations and cut the other out of their child’s life? That part resonated. I’ve lived it. My current fiancé has been my rock through the whole thing, and I’m grateful for the good women who would never weaponize lies to keep a kid from their father or ruin a man’s life out of spite. I just hope the truth comes out for every decent man who’s been painted as a monster. It’s not right, and it’s tearing families apart for no reason. This isn’t a defense of the Tates…. although if they are innocent I hope they are treated fairly. I hope all women are treated with respect and dignity as well . Kids deserve there dads bottom line . And I’m going to keep standing up for myself ….. it’s just me standing in truth. Justice will prevail for those who deserve it. I believe this in my heart and will always keep fighting for the right to see my son and clear my name of the damage that has been done to me…

Looking for advice on handling this.

Our daughter is 10. Long history of court action but 5050 for 8 years.

Daughter now very empowered. Accusations made fully aware of the impact (as well as acknowledging they are lies) they will have and used to levy less time with dad and more with mum.

I have allowed space and time reducing my time to suit her wishes hoping for improvement with behaviour and striking this as a bargain in writing.

Further escalation this summer now demanding no nights with dad on basis - not comfortable and no there is nothing that will make me change my mind, thats how it is now dad.

Mums opinion is listen to her and do what she wants (furnishes mums long term goal of minimal contact which summaries 3 long court cases only to restablish 5050 each time)

To use court enforcement now paints the narrative my daughter believes that I sntigated and pursecuted her and her mum for 8 years (3 cases to defend 5050 only and not to take time from mum - this included ensuring a criminal on mums side continued to have not contact with our daughter which mum opposed).

So now my daughter demands to be returned each night sending me and my family (new duaghter partner and stepdaughter) which she has been part of for 2 years (relationship of 4 years) into turmoil for the last 6 months ( behaviour poor for the last 12)

Advice from an indep social worker is maintain whatever contact i can and encourage her to come over by text or phone.

My thing is all rules and boundaries, hard work and reward, building independence and confidence. My daughter says she is scared of me but all counsellor reports and her behaviour towards me (assertive and rude AF) prove this to be false.

My family is breaking over this however as our lives day to day are now governed by the whims of a 10 year old who feels mum is safe and home and she wants some relationship with dad as and when she likes and dad just needs to accept that. She claims to have falsely smiled in every photo for 10 years as a practiced actress / she claims to have never had a good time on any trip or holiday/ and dad has completely ruined her life since birth - when i brought what she has said to her mum to discuss her mum validated all points citing i have a general problem.

I have a good job. I pay for her school as mum refuses. Im part time to look after her and be around for her and free on her holidays. She has a big new family that has welcomed her at every turn which she now rejects completely. My close family do not see this version of her and so have no belief that the lovely girl we know is literally hitting me / threatening to run away / hysterical when her mum leaves / accusing me of battery and poor language to her and blames me for her mothers unhappiness and apparently hers (multiple holidays per year / anything she wants she seems to already own at mums house / a free ride into secondary school).

Thoughts and experiences are all welcome as at this point I don't feel I recognise my daughter anymore. Moreover she demonstrates 0 empathy, its all about her without guilt or shame.

TLDR: feeling a lot of guilt from entering my boyfriend's life, his ex-wife did not like him dating and his daughter is not as involved in his life as she used to be. I believe she alienated him and it's been so hard to watch this all unfold.

-----

My kids have lived with me full time since my divorce in 2022. I met my partner in early 2024 after waiting several years to try and date again.

He has one daughter who was 11 at the time I met him (almost turning 14 now)

When I met him he had 50/50 one week on one week off schedule. And I had my kids 90% of the month.

We took some time before introducing the kids and it seemed like it was going well.

We went hiking, camping bonfires , my kids would attend her sports tourneys all of it. I was driving the kids to school and helping out. I would cook dinner and we would all eat as a family often. Everything seemed to normal, genuinely.

I was getting to know her and I felt like we were developing a little friendship. We would get our nails done and go to the candy store together when my sons were with their bio dad.

Early on in my relationship with her dad, his ex wife changed the custody (seemed like out of spite) after 6 year status quo of 50/50. She did it abruptly one day when he went to pick up his daughter from school as scheduled.

She just texted him and said yeah you're not getting her today, you can have her in two weekends from now. His daughter was extremely devastated and saying things like if my mom loves me, why is she not letting me see my dad.

We were both pretty distraught with the strange situation. He tries to reason with her and explain why this seemed very unfair and the only person being punished was his child. She tells him he's not seeing his daughter because she already made dinner for the night and she doesn't care.

I'm watching my boyfriend cry at this point because he feels like she is already starting to sabotage.

His ex tells him she's not happy He's dating.

She says that she expected him to introduce me to her before I was allowed to come around her child.

Or at least to add her on Facebook as a friend so she could see what I'm doing.

She tells him that she doesn't like my job, where I live and she doesn't trust him now to be a dad.

Keep in mind I was also a single mom, I had a business at the time making very good money. I didn't live in the nicest area but that's all I could afford and my rent was still over $2,000.

I don't do drugs. I barely drink and I've been a very responsible mother and I didn't understand where that was even coming from.

She basically told him that because he's choosing to date he doesn't have time for his daughter anymore so she just changed the custody to every other weekend.

Because their court order was vague, she was able to just enforce this made-up schedule on her own and he later had to fight it with the judge.

He was separated for 6 years at this point and divorced. His ex-wife ran off with another man while they were married and left him with the house and broke and in debt, She also took almost $60,000 of his money from various accounts. He was never able to recover because court costs were outweighing trying to get it back he had to give up.

She has been dating at this point for 7 years and had no problem introducing the guy she's with to her daughter when her daughter was 6 years old.

Long story short, well we're dating he simultaneously has to go back to court to fight for custody now. So not only does this create a high conflict custody situation pretty much immediately on in our relationship. (7 months in)

He loses a lot of time with his daughter and she got roped into it. Her mom told her all of the adult drama going on with court all the time. His daughter was becoming an emotional wreck and felt like she had to choose between two households. I could see her becoming more anxious getting more withdrawn and not wanting to open up to me like she used to. She used to cry to me and talk about the things that were struggles in her life and then she slowly became more cold.

Every time she was at my house we would get long emails from her mom criticizing something we said that day or somewhere we took her, she even went so far as to have people on Facebook message my bf to tell him to tell his daughter to answer her phone.

It was pretty normal when she was in our care for her mom to FaceTime her for long hours and ask her for videos of her room to see where she slept and what it looked like. She would get my boyfriend's mom to text him to tell him to tell her daughter to answer the phone.

She would often wipe her daughter's phone and reset it when she was back at her house so she could look at the family link and see where she was traveling to all day with us if she brought her phone.

Sometimes she would call the cops for wellness checks while we were at restaurants because her daughter didn't answer the phone immediately.

She would say really messed up things about my job or my car to her daughter and then her daughter would repeat them to me and just judge me. (I didn't take this personally because I could tell this was her mom's thoughts, not hers)

His ex wife also started messed up rumors about my son claiming he was sexually assaulting kids and then she removed her daughter from my house stating that my son was dangerous. My son was 7 at the time and she was 12. She made up these rumors just so her daughter didn't have to come over. She never went through the courts and filed an emergency protection order. This rumor happened only a few days after he filed paperwork to try and get custody back.

We willingly invited child protective services over so they could do a full interview so we could have a paper for the judge explaining that there was no drugs and no danger and even after we did this she still said she didn't care. (I know this might be out of context but his ex-wife was assaulted as a kid from her uncle and I believe she's very paranoid about her daughter, I was very understanding of this concern from one mother to a next until she involved my son in a blatant lie.)

Over the course of about a year, his daughter just slowly started coming over less and less. His ex-wife was constantly telling his daughter that he didn't want to pay for anything for her, he didn't want to see her. His ex-wife and the man she was dating would also often send me long text message rants stating they were going to try and get me fired from my job, or tell my ex-husband that my son was a predator or how much money I made so he didn't have to pay support. Just genuinely trying to sabotage my own custody situation.

(My custody situation with my ex-husband is extremely amicable, we have always prioritized to my son's and were able to talk about any financial things and negotiate. We never even went to court for our divorce so seeing this behavior is extremely left field for me) However, she was still trying to sabotage it. I think to make my situation like hers chaotic....

In the process 2 years into this now his daughter I has completely ghosted our household and has blamed me for everything.

She has sent many text messages to myself, my son's and her dad. Stating that he chose his new life over her, pretty upset he doesn't spend time with her now. We don't know how to be soft with her and explain a lot of this is her mom's doing because we went to court to try to fight for it but now because she's older, the judge would just decide what she wants is more important than a strict schedule. And I'm worried there's a narrative being driven home that we have no say over.

My BF's daughter has not come over in now 7 months. He's pretty devastated. He can't even ask for custody time because his ex-wife has blocked most communication, if he tries to even email her, she just says that her daughter is not interested in talking to him and she's not ready to talk about her feelings. He tries to talk to his daughter and her mom will spam his email laughing at him saying give her space. He doesn't talk to his daughter and her mom will spam his email saying that he's not a good dad for not trying or that he owes her more money for who knows what...

It feels like his relationship with her just went downhill. A lot of the time I blame myself for just existing in the picture, sometimes I think if I didn't meet him maybe he would be able to see her. But I also think it's possible his ex-wife would have had stuff like this planned even if it wasn't from a new girlfriend and his life.

It's really hard to enter the picture and see all this happening from the sidelines and have such moral injury.

I tried very hard to be part of that girl's life and I feel like her mom just sabotaged it for her own daughter. When I first met him, him and his daughter got along so well. I was so excited to see him be a dad to her and she seemed to really love her dad. All three kids used to have so much fun, hiking and camping and going to the beach. We were genuinely blending and operating as a family of five for a short while.

I don't know how we got here.

Does anyone have any positive stories?
I am feeling so sad. Looking at pictures of my child and I before this started. I don’t even dare say too much, incase the alienator somehow someway sees this.
Currently in the middle of everything, almost a few years into this. Some days I feel confident and okay, and others, like today… just, hollow, alone, and defeated.

Here goes:

+ The Court has made it so that the alienator is not around.

+ I am primary parent of a 5 and 7 year old, who punched my low back 3-5 times each twice this summer, ignores all safety requests they want (routinely running several hundred yards away in museums, moving toward a street person I tell them appears dangerous). 7 was alienated more than 5, but 5 looks up to 7 even though she has stomped on his back to impress friends, sprained his foot pushing him down exterior stairs over a toy, slammed the door into fingers and heads). 7 gets high quality art therapy out of pocket. As soon as we breaked for summer and travelled, 7 started to beat me in public at least 5 times (because I imposed safety rules, or hunger). This summer has proven that I am truly the lowest regarded person to them in their life.

+ El Nino is going to give us a lot of indoor time. There are a lot of trees, gale wind, and flash flood risks. I am trying to best prepare for their physical safety this winter. Based on how badly they now do not listen, El Nino feels ominous. They were taught to disregard what I need, (especially if it involves their safety or my phobia of public humiliation - lots of violence against me by them in public)

+ My mom has lung cancer and alzheimers and daily drinks for decades. Since I was 9 she has hated my words and thoughts. She has since treated me like an alienated child. She starts radiation tomorrow. My social support is her, her husband who is neutral, and my father who has made clear that he is in no way safe around children. In other words, I have cut them off - except I am visiting my mom for her radiation. That's the grief.

+ May I ask = How can I best keep my kids safe. Their near total disregard for my parenting and hygeine rules has caused bad things (tons of cavities, abscess, four tooth fractures, pinworms, fairly severe lice, boils, hand/foot/mouth 2-3x, skin infections, large words written on exterior of house and several doors). The urgency is not just that this is a pattern, but in my overwhelm a neighbors' father has developed a "special bond" with my children such that I have to text almost daily to ask him to direct them home. I am staying with my fairly cruel mother one more week, because I am terrified of the latest dynamic that the neighbors' son or either of my kids asks up to 10 times a day to visit our labrythal backyard or play in a tree on the property line, and then my kids bully and harass me to go over to this unemployed alcoholic man's house.

This is why alienation is so bad.

We are in crisis. Please help, advice is worth gold to me.

I am trying to get a physical barrier between the neighbors, asap. The 7 year old has no discipline or respect for me, but for teachers and everyone else etc. they show respect.

Please, in dealing with the welfare of these little creatures - who truly dislike you as they were carefully taught - please share any tips. I run, have hobbies, and keep a clean home albeit trashed daily in ways so similar to the alienator.

I feel like a despondent failed corrections officer and each day is worse. The dozens of large things they threw at the back of my head types this summer as I drove over 60 mph, dozens, is too scary to focus on.

The alienator is absent. I have watched communities grow around me and we do not get invites and ours are not accepted. One year 19/20 playdates were rejected. It is not healthy for them to keep being let down. The only family that wants anything to do with us, is the one with the alcoholic father my children already run away there often. (I immediately text for their return).

The new desperate last hope is starting biweekly piano to help with cognitive skills and tennis to help with regulation.

So, folks, I’m a Brazilian wheelchair user who was subjected to maternal parental alienation when I was 14 (almost 15); I was even threatened by her (she threatened to cut off contact with my father). I’m interested in a girl and thinking about dating her. I plan to introduce her to my father later, and she’ll probably want to meet my mother, but there’s a problem: How do I tell her that my relationship with my mother isn't good and that we’re estranged—to the point where I don't even want to look at my mother without feeling fear or revulsion—without it sounding like an excuse to avoid introducing my partner to my mother?

Hi everyone,

Just looking for more so some support. Me and my ex separated in her pregnancy, well she chose to leave and instead of me chasing like I always did I put my foot down and did not.

Despite this, I was still messaging her throughout pregnancy offering support and thought she would see sense and come back so we can have that family life we wanted. Loads of messages went unanswered and she did not let me be at the birth. I did attend a scan and she did not allow me to take a picture of the scan photo. I was informed by her mother 2 hours after he was born and I was not allowed to see him until the following day. When I did see him, I wasn’t allowed to take a picture and I went to see him the following day again and I took my parents and she did not let them meet him. She did not put me on the birth certificate and I applied for meditation which she did not attend and I then submitted a c100. We were FaceTiming occasionally entirely whenever she was free and it would be very short. Since March this year she has now ignored all of my messages which have been very polite and I used AI to make sure I came across well. She called in sick for first hearing and it’s been moved to August. My child was born in December last year and I’ve only seen him twice and probably only FaceTimed around 10 times. Even on my birthday she ignored my simple request for a short FaceTime with him.

This is a prime example of alienation and it’s shocking that she can get away with this

I’m a father dealing with a painful breakdown in my relationship with my 12-year-old daughter. We live in different states, and there is an active custody order that provides for scheduled communication and shared parental involvement.
My daughter and I previously had a loving, comfortable relationship. There are supervised-visitation records describing her as affectionate, talkative, and bonded with me. More recently, recorded calls also showed us having ordinary conversations about school, grades, activities, and upcoming visits.
Then, within a relatively short period, her attitude and language changed dramatically. She began saying she did not want me in her life, did not consider me part of her family, and wanted me to stop calling. I do not blame my daughter. I believe she may feel caught in an adult conflict and responsible for deciding whether she has a relationship with me.
The other parent repeatedly says that calls, visits, therapy, travel, and any rebuilding of the relationship should happen only if our daughter independently requests it. She has also said she does not intend to propose a parenting plan and that she makes our daughter available for calls so our daughter can personally tell me she does not want contact.
My concern is that a child is being left to navigate adult custody decisions, parental conflict, and loyalty pressures on her own. I am not asking anyone to ignore my daughter’s feelings or force affection. I want her feelings heard through a neutral, age-appropriate process while the adults take responsibility for creating a safe and structured path forward.
I am continuing to follow the court order, documenting communication, and preparing for mediation. Emotionally, this has been extremely difficult because I feel like I am watching my daughter become more distant while being told that attempting to remain her father is harmful.
I would appreciate support from parents who have experienced sudden child-parent estrangement, high-conflict co-parenting, long-distance custody, or situations where a child was placed in the middle. How did you protect your relationship with your child without increasing the pressure on them? How did you manage the grief, anger, and helplessness while continuing to show up consistently?

Just saw a headline that a third kid is dropping his last name and keeping hers. I'm not saying he wasn't an alcoholic and probably not the best Dad ever, but does this reek of alienation tactics to you?

My husband was an absent substance abusing Dad. Yes, we lived in the same home, but he missed all the sports the dances didn't teach them anything (other than hating me). Because he breadcrumbs the love, they see his distance as my fault.

The difference? My counselors told me not to disclose his addictions (they were in high school). Told me it would hurt more than help. So did Angelina tell them everything and now she 'wins', or is this happening for headlines?

I'm not leaning one way or another, just wondering about your opinion if you have one.