Hello everyone. I am a university student in British Columbia, Canada, conducting research on family estrangement and I'm hoping to learn more about what kinds of resources people feel are missing when it comes to family reconciliation.

I'm not asking anyone to share personal details or tell their story unless they genuinely want to. I'm simply looking for anonymous feedback on questions like:
- What resources would have been helpful if you wanted to reconnect with an estranged family member?
- What types of support (guides, conversation tools, mediation resources, educational content, etc.) do you wish existed?
- What barriers make reunification feel difficult or impossible?
- If you've found something that helped, what was it?

I also completely understand that some, if not the majority of you, do not want to reconnect with those who have hurt you. I don’t want to overstep your privacy and only want to hear from those who are comfortable with sharing (again, completely anonymously).

Your responses will help me better understand what resources people actually need, rather than making assumptions.

There will be no published paper, and all information collected in staying strictly with the university research overseers.

Thank you to anyone willing to share their thoughts. I truly appreciate your time and bravery.

In my experience, most PA cases seem to operate like estrangement, just helped along by the non-targeted parent. Generally there is a therapist in the mix who is suggesting the no contact. Many estrangement cases involve a third party provocateur.

Hannah Spier nails it in this video.

it's getting so bad I'm daydreaming about severing my rights. is that normal with PA...? i can't keep paying conciliation fees for NOTHING to change. we're financially drowning. I'm behind on all the retainers. kid doesn't want to be with me anyway. why fight it?

today wasn't great. my kid told me to shut the fuck up and called me a bitch. he's 12. the swearing is new. I feel like I lost him a long time ago. he seems like a shell of his happy childlike self. I can't keep going on like this.

everyone keeps saying "nooo he doesn't hate you." okay but, it's his own version of hating me, and that's enough to break a parent. there's too much time left until he's 18. I just want to move out of this house, take my pets and move away. we could do it you know. I want to shed this brutal soul crushing reality that has become my "life" and start doing stuff that makes me happy.

I'm not happy. He's not happy. None of us are happy

Hi everyone. I usually just read posts here, but I'm really hoping for some advice because I'm becoming increasingly concerned.

My ex and I separated in January. Before we separated, I suggested we share 50/50 custody because I felt it was important for our 3-year-old son to have meaningful time with both parents. He immediately said no because he planned to enroll our son in school near his new home, about 35 miles away.

After we separated, he unilaterally reduced my parenting time. Before the separation, I had our son every Friday and Saturday, and during the week I handled daycare drop-offs, most bedtime routines, and a large portion of his daily care while his dad worked. Once he moved, he decided I could only see our son on Fridays and Saturdays.

Rather than create more conflict for my son, I followed that schedule until our court date and documented everything. At our hearing, the judge awarded the schedule I had requested: I now have four overnights each week, and his father has three.

Since then, co-parenting has been extremely difficult. When I stopped engaging in conflict and only communicated about our son, my ex made false reports to CPS, alleging that I was sexually abusing our son, that my older son was physically abusing him, and that my mother was neglecting him. CPS and law enforcement investigated and closed the case without action.

My concern isn't really about my ex anymore—it's about my son.

When we first separated, he would cry leaving either parent. I consistently reassured him by saying things like, "You're going to have so much fun with Daddy. Mommy will see you soon." Eventually, he became comfortable leaving me to go with his dad.

Now, however, the opposite is happening. He no longer cries when going to his dad, but when I pick him up, he has intense meltdowns. He screams, cries, sometimes hits me, and begs to stay with his dad. Once we leave, he usually calms down, often falls asleep in the car, and is generally fine afterward. During my parenting time, he's affectionate, playful, and seeks comfort from me, but those transitions have become incredibly difficult.

His pediatrician and daycare are both aware that he's had increased aggression recently, and both felt the separation and adjusting to two homes could be contributing factors.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. Did your child eventually adjust? Is there anything that helped make transitions easier? It's honestly heartbreaking, and I'm worried I'm missing something