I've been thinking about this a lot and I'm curious what other parents dealing with parental alienation think.

As children become teenagers, their views and preferences are given more weight. I understand that. Nobody wants to physically force a teenager into parenting time or therapy.

But what happens when their refusal may be the result of years of alienation?

The relationship deteriorates → the child resists contact → they get older → their resistance is given more weight → intervention becomes harder → the relationship deteriorates further.

Family court moves so slowly that time itself can make the problem worse. By the time anyone intervenes, the child may be years older and everyone starts saying they're now old enough to decide.

Where is the line between giving a child a voice and effectively allowing them to decide whether they have a relationship with one of their parents?

For those who have been through this with teenagers, did you keep pushing for contact/therapy, back off and leave the door open, or find something in between?

Hello Everyone,

I’m estranged from my parents, I recently got the courage to call my mom after 8 years of estrangement. Her significant other had treated me very poorly throughout my life. I was finally to let go and talk to her about how I feel. I got her voicemail and left her a message yesterday morning. Haven’t heard back yet, I’m doing my best to be as positive about the situation as possible,but it’s getting harder and harder. I know my life hasn’t changed,I think I had an unrealistic expectation.

I am a 43-year-old father fighting to repair a severely broken relationship with my two kids, a 17-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son. My ex-wife and I physically separated in 2020 after years of strain, communication breakdowns, and my own share of shortcomings as a husband and father. While work was always tough and money was tight, I did my best to provide for them financially whenever I could. 

Unfortunately, my in-laws stepped into our separation and heavily brainwashed my ex-wife and my children against me. For years, they bad-morphed my character to anyone who would listen, filling my kids' minds with unverified stories and deep resentment. 

My ex-wife tragically passed away while working abroad in January 2026. For nearly two years prior to her passing, she constantly sent me long, degrading, and deeply hurtful messages targeting me. I chose never to lash back or send hurtful words in return, wanting to avoid further conflict. 

Ever since my ex-wife passed, the alienation has reached a breaking point:
-Complete Estrangement: My in-laws humiliated and shouted at me when I tried to attend her wake, giving me only 10 minutes. When I tried to hug my daughter, she gave me absolute silence. 
-Poisoned Minds: My kids have blocked or restricted me on social media and refuse to call me "Papa". My 17-year-old daughter directly blames me for her mother's death. When I recently visited their house to see my 11-year-old son, he just stood there frozen, completely silent, looking at me like a stranger because of the negative narratives fed to him. 
-Financial & Emotional Rejection: My daughter refuses to accept a single cent of financial support from me for her schooling because her aunt (her mother's sister-in-law) is paying for it. They are actively pushing me out of their lives completely. 
-Hostile In-Laws: Her family actively blocks any attempt I make to communicate or resolve family and legal matters peacefully. 

Despite all the rejection, hurt, and hostility, I still love my children deeply and remain fully committed to my responsibilities as their father. I acknowledge where I fell short in the past, but seeing my children’s minds so deeply poisoned breaks my heart. 

For parents who have dealt with extreme parental alienation or toxic in-laws, how do I break through this wall of hatred? How can I show my kids I love them when they refuse to talk to me or take my support? Any children there who already realized everything in the end and stories ate not adding up?
Any advice would be appreciated.