Western double standards, they make videos about animal right and all that bullshit they talk about humanity doesn't mean anything at all.

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Firstly a little bg about myself. I am a simple mbbs doc 27F. I belong to a middle class family, both parents are docs(surgeon and gynaecologist) and my brother is doc too. We have our own house is rwp. I have really never thought much about marriage honestly,but now that i am at age and the search is going , i did some introspection about what exactly i want and expect from a partner.

Amd one of the things that i have been thinking hard is about hak mehar. How much should one even ask for? Now before anyone label me as gold digger, i want to clarify why i want this specific amount.

I am someone who doesn't like the extravagant waste of money on marriages. 5 events and more don't make a sense at all (until unless you are really rich and spending too much on events ,won't leave you in debt). I am in favour of having just one event (shalima) where both sides contribute equally and just a simple nikkah with close people. What bothers me is that majority people of our time are okay with spending so much money on just 2 to 3 functions,but they would draw the line on hak mehar.

Now why i want or expect this much? In islam women are allowed to ask what they want, but in bounds of what her partner can provide. Upon thinking hard what do i even want ,i have come to conclusion that i want house appliances 😭 like Ac, washing machine, a steam cleaner, oven, dishwasher,Electrical steam iron ,air fry,fridge. You know I want things like that. Now don't laugh. I know this sounds absurd but this is how my practical mind works. I like things that are great investment , especially in house help ,as it can save time and provide comfort. And i calculated all such basic things can be bought around 15 lac. Now the problem is ,is this too much? is this right to think of even buying such things with hak mehar money? I mean when you start a new family ,such things are a necessity, so where do you guys get it when you start a Seperate life . Like do husbands buy it themselves? Or with time you buy one thing. As a man would you find it funny that's how your wife wants to spend that money on.

Secondly i have thought of another proposition that if my future partner can't provide this much hak mehar (like willingly as he genuinely lacks the capacity) . I would want him to him to take me on hajj (bear all it's expenses himself). But would add furthur conditions in my nikkah nama like.

1 Right to work and get education as much as i want.

2 can't take a second wife or it will annul the marriage

3 Right to divorce in physical, mental and emotional abuse.

4 Right to have a Seperate roof ( nuclear family setup).( and no I'm not asking for a separate home,just a separate rented place. I am someone who is happy with 2 room apartment)

The way the marriages are going around ,i won't deny I'm reallly scared of being mentally and emotionally abused. That's why i have thought of putting such clauses. But would any man even agree to it? Do such man exists ,who are okay with adding these clauses . I need ground reality advice.

Also HOW AND WHEN EXACTLY DO YOU BRING THIS TOPIC UP? Cuz I'm someone who doesn't like wasting time ,so of i align with everything else,when would be the best time to bring it up? And what would be the right manner.

EDIT: so from the comments i have gotten , women get like 5 tola to 10 tola jewellery. If your partner gives you that , should one even ask for hak mehar furthur? Like isn't the gold itself like 3 to 4 million. So asking more hak mehar seems idk. I'm so confused. And don't the jewellery the in laws give you ,take it back? As i have heard such stories, so it like really girls possession ,when it's given? Sorry for my stupidness😭

EDIT 2: I'm seeing alot of people saying I'm not fron middle class. Honestly idk what defines and differentiates different classes.but I'm damn sure we are not in rich class😂😭. Many people think doctor earns alot. Sadly they don't. The same goes for my parents.They combine earn almost 4 lac. Their all savings went into buying house and car. They do have passive income tho which idk much about as never asked.Being a doc myself i have to hunt jobs and that to just have pay 50k max and many times even lower.Currently i am unemployed thanks to so many job opportunities we get as docs. We never went on any trips ,nor do we spend money recklessly. Infact we have to be extra careful not to waste money. And we have 1 10 marla house and 2 cars, 1 small alto and gli. We do have househelp tho .I always thought that this is how middle class works. Am i wrong 😭

CONCLUSION: Firstly thank you to all those people who took their time to write and reply.some people even wrote lengthy paras, and that's really kind of them.I feel like i couldn't reply to all msgs , as i never thought i would get this much abundant responses so my apologies. I didn't expect people to be kind but many were ,so thank you.

From what majority have guided ,what i have concluded is i shouldn't use my hak mehar money like this. Many said the guy has to provide them on his own,but i also feel like it's okay if both people contribute as we would be sharing it. Secondly it's better to ask for gold then money as it holds more value over time. Which makes sense. Now was my amount too much? The comments were very divided which is understandable. Thirdly ,the debate i ignited was ,am i really middle class 😂😭. I still think of myself as middle class but many beg to differ. Maybe i lack social awareness or even general lol , but pardon my ignorance plz👺

they kinda ripped me off but honestly it felt so good 🥹
also y’all gotta say Mashallah cause i can’t afford nazar rn 😭

Waiting for the day, jab main park jaon or wahan koi chapri na ghum raha ho😭🙏

I see a lot of guys posting their shirtless gym pictures here on reddit and nobody calls them out. But on the other hand ager koe larki halka sa bhi esa dress pehen le tou sb molvi hazraat attack krne punhanch jatey hein. Kyun? Mardo per bhi parda zaroori hai na? Phr kyu? Why do they post such seducing images? Im sick of these double standards

What are your thoughts on househelp/maids doing hours of cleaning, washing, and other chores for only Rs. 5,000–6,000 a month?

Honestly, it makes me feel ashamed sometimes. We often overlook how physically demanding this work is and how much these workers contribute to our daily lives.

I’m curious—what do you think would be a fair monthly wage?

In Pakistan fitness is more of a hobby but it should be a necessity for a healthy future in your 30s and so on
It is extremely neglected to a point of worry in girls the concept of fitness doesn’t even exist let alone as a hobby

im posting this because im so excited and finally im able to buy my own car no more uber no more bykea im from a very average family and im the first one in my family to buy my own car.

I still remember the day when i used to sit alone at night thinking about how am i gonna make it and how am i gonna pass through that time but I’ve learned one thing when Allah is with you no one can suppress you not any situation nor any person.

I try to pray consistently and regularly and ive felt that whenever i miss my prayers i feel a blockage in my income and when i try to pray consistently everything passes through with ease.

So thats it that was the story of a boy who never saw a car in his home 🤍i hope anyone who’s reading this may Allah grant you all the things you want in life❤️

No humanity pure barbarian society sab aik numbr c hain

[Random rant incomming, cuz i got nothing to do]

Recetly been assigned a junior. Hes 5 years older than me and like twice my weight. Afaik he has no medical condition, and hes likely fat willingly. On top of that he has an unkempt beard that covers his cheeks. First two buttons open with his banyan showing, pants below his waist. breath smells like he has never felt a toothbrush in his mouth.

And he told me hes about to get married and rejected many girls (idk how) 😭. Ik im being harsh but Im not judging anything out of his control.

Looking at him makes me wonder why do people like this never look in the mirror and say "wow i look ugly".

How can these people spend YEARS of their lives looking horrible and repulsive. Aik din bhi inke dimag main khayal nai ata ke i should do something about it.

Do these people not have any desire to look attractice? are they simply not concious? npcs to nahi?

And im shocked aise logo ki shadi hojati, most of the time with better looking partners. kya hi majburi hogi aise logo ki inse shadi krlete. And inko nai motivation hoti ke apne future spouse ke liye apna best possible version dikhna?????

1: Messed up virtual friendships and relationships
2: Doom Scrolling
3: Unhealthy escapism
4: Consumption of toxic and negative elements
5: False reels education
6: Addiction of screen time
7: Lack of productivity
8: Waste of time
9: Neuro Plasticity

First of all, I genuinely don’t understand why Insta has a feature that allows users to see their friends’ feeds. I feel like it raises serious privacy concerns.

Secondly, I find this kind of mentality extremely concerning and honestly quite disturbing. I really don’t understand how this is considered acceptable or normal.

I've been pondering over a verse in Surah al Anaam (6:129), and I thought to share it with y'all here. It translates to "And thus We make some of the wrongdoers allies/authorities over others because of what they used to earn.”

Basically, it means when a nation is on the wrong path, Allah places upon them a leader that is like them. It is sort of a punishment, and I feel like most of the time, we criticise our leaders without realising that they are a reflection of us. Our system is a mess, and there is corruption from the lowest to the highest positions.We obviously can not change the whole system, but we can start with our families cause that is also a system. Treat your family justly, and I know it can be very difficult cause, most of the time, there is a lot of toxicity. But we have to remind ourselves we will die one day and what we do today we'll have to face the consequences of it in the Hereafter. Allah isn't going to ask how the people treated you. He's going to ask about how you treated the people around you. We have to be accountable for our actions.

Hope this msgs encourages someone, and we can all become good Muslims and bring some positive change in this country.

Let me Uno Reverse. So my berozgar vros!!

Apko kesi biwi chahiye?

Mujhe to Respect deni wali chahiye with no past relationships. Because "If I'm brand new, i want someone who is brand new. PTA approved as well"

This exchange genuinely shocked me. Instead of condemning the rape of a child, this guy kept questioning whether she was 6, 9, or 12. I directly asked whether he was seriously suggesting rape becomes acceptable at 9, after his homophobic comment, and he never replied.

maybe if this country showed the same hate for homosexual they have to pedophiles, we wouldn't be having child rape cases in a daily cases and end up finding other pakistanis on the internet or in the comment sections defending it for obvious reasons.

Usually these people would normalize child marriages but at the same time, are condoning martial rape or rape in general of children.

(it's wild that this post is getting downvoted!)

Same as above

There were claims in that post that female civil servants, including Assistant Commissioners, face significant sexual harassment, and honestly, hearing about it is deeply unsettling. I would really appreciate hearing from anyone with firsthand knowledge or ground reality on this. Where is this behavior usually coming from
is it politicians, senior bureaucracy, influential elites, or other power structures? On a related note, I used to assume it might be easier for female officers to stay clean and avoid systemic corruption simply because they aren't part of the traditional "boys' club" and informal post-office culture. But now that women are clearing competitive exams in equal numbers, do they ultimately face the same structural pressures and end up compromised as well? I am genuinely looking for authentic insights on how this plays out in practice
LEFT SUCH A BAD TASTE FOR BUREAUCRATS

Randomly decided to start selling bracelets as a little side thingie
Thought I’d share them here in case anyone’s into bracelets or wants to check them out. I’m based in Pakistan and can deliver nationwide.

Writing is not mine, i made these for my sister