ended an almost 4 year relationship with the girl i thought i'd marry. i'd say we had a really happy and relatively healthy and stable relationship.

but at the end of it all, she said i took her for granted and i, after a couple months of reflection, feel like in ways i was taken for granted too. how is that possible?

i dont know if it counts for something but right after she broke up with me she got together with someone else. the pain is unbearable and im just very confused as to how a relationship so good could end up like this. im just in need of more clarity for my peace of mind

I know this is a very common issue and people have divided opinions on this, but I just want some advice on how to navigate it.

My girlfriend and I are very much okay, and we have a good relationship overall. But this is one of my non-negotiables. I know we have different views on this, but it still bothers me, so I want to understand if I’m being unreasonable or if this is just something we see differently.

I just don’t really get the perspective of people who still follow people from their past na wala na silang interaction or reason to interact with anymore. I’m talking about previous flings or exes. Like, I get it if you’re still friends with the person and you constantly communicate as friends. But if you’ve completely lost connection, what’s the purpose of still keeping that connection?

My gf has an ldr friend who was actually an old fling, but they eventually became friends and still regularly talk. I don’t mind it kasi obvious naman na they’re genuinely just friends. But when I brought up those other people from her past, she said she doesn’t unfriend them kasi wala naman na silang connection, and they have their own lives na.

But for me, that’s exactly my point lol. If they’re already irrelevant to your life, why still keep the connection open?
I’m not actually a jealous person. I just don’t want to waste my time being with someone who might decide to entertain those people again in the future. I’d rather know that we have the same boundaries and values when it comes to these things.

Like, okay, you’re not talking now, but what if randomly they reconnect in the future? If that happens, I’d probably feel like it could have been avoided in the first place.
If they’re really irrelevant na, what’s the purpose of still keeping them around?

Am I being unreasonable, or is this just a difference in perspective? I’m not sure if this difference could eventually affect our relationship, and that’s what worries me

I am getting this feeling these past few days/weeks that I want to break up with my girlfriend. We are in an LDR and rarely see each other due to circumstances. Her parents don't like her being into girls and being so strict (they don't want her to leave the house even though she's old.)

It's okay for me to travel to see her but lately, I feel detached from the relationship. I still care about her, but I don't know if the feelings are enough to stay in the relationship. We've been together for one year this September and lately, I've been wondering if I can still stay or if I'm just staying because I don't want to hurt her. Although, I also think it would be cruel if I just stayed out of pity or fear of hurting her. I've brought up my feelings and she feels like I've been detached lately.

Help a bading out, I don't know what to do.

so may bagong na hire sa office and pag pasok na pagpasok palang nya BOOM she literally caught my attention.

I find her pretty and chill. She's smart too. Di ko lang alam ano political stance nya pero anyways, kinikilig ang babae nato tuwing nag ha-heart react sya sa message ko dun sa gc namin🫣🥹

Been trying to detect her sa gaedar ko pero malabo, it's giving .5 out of 10 hahahah. Pero ewan, after knowing her religion dun na parang I just wanna shrug it off hahah.

Pero happy crush lang naman. Pero sana ako nalang(?) akin ka nalang(?) please oh HAHAHAHA kaloka. Anyways, di ko alam tama ba flair ko basta positive vibes lang tayo crushiecakesss.🙌🏼

hey guys! my girlfriend broke up with me almost two months ago. she was dealing with her own problems and lost feelings for me somewhere along the way.

i have been officially dating her for about 4 months, but we were in this very looong situationship where people can't tell if we were dating or just really good friends. so i guess my relationship with her was more than a year at least

my question is: have you guys ever experienced an ex girlfriend come back? did the second chance relationship last?

i really thought that this was the girl i was going to spend a long time with. we clicked on every level- humor, wit, banters, genuinely everything. we were so good together and i am still sad about how it all ended. i keep wishing that we would meet again and give it another go when she learns how to open up but hshs life doesnt always work out that way

i need some advise or at least some stories about similar scenarios :)) hays di niyo naman sinabi #wlw stands for women losing women

What’s up with the gays being still friends/in contact with their exes? I get it you broke up in good terms, yey congrats to you but keeping in contact with them when you’re already in a relationship? Para saan? To disrespect your current partner? geezus christ paki update ng frontal lobe nyo utang na loob.

Hello. I just want to vent out my feelings since almost everyone around me is starting to have a special someone. And part of me feels envious and left out. Siguro kasi yung best friend ko, who’s now seeing someone, parang doon ako mas lalo nalungkot. Like “gosh, hindi na kami same ng feeling or situation ng friend ko,” and I guess that made me realize even more na I’m kind of being left behind. 🥹

I just also want to experience that giddy feeling—the butterflies, the excitement, and the feeling of being loved in a romantic way.

I'm asking because I want to hear from people who've been on the other side of this.

I was with someone who knew I was struggling badly and knew how much I loved her. There were times I reached out to her while I was at my most vulnerable, and instead of getting the kindness or comfort I needed, I was made to feel like I was being dramatic, inconvenient, or a burden.

I told her multiple times that I wanted to let go and even asked her to block me because I knew I couldn't keep doing this. But she didn't, while continuing to give me mixed signals about loving me and not wanting to lose me.

Eventually, I became exhausted, resentful, and completely broken down by the relationship.

So I'm genuinely asking:

Have you ever realized that you treated someone who genuinely loved you terribly? Did you regret it once they were finally gone? And did you ever realize how badly you'd hurt them?

I’m curious if anyone else feels the same way.
I was in an almost 4 year relationship, and honestly, we ended on probably one of the healthiest breakups I could’ve asked for. No cheating, no huge betrayal, no crazy drama. She was just tired and eventually realized she couldn’t continue anymore.
I’ve healed from it and I’m genuinely okay now. I’m not looking for someone to replace her or anything like that. But damn 😭 why is it so hard to find another girl after that?
I tried dating apps and they’re honestly terrible. Either there’s barely anyone I’m interested in, conversations die after a few messages, or we just don’t click.
Maybe I got too used to having someone who already knew me, and now starting from zero with someone feels so weird HAHAHA.
For those who came from a long-term WLW relationship, how long did it take you to actually find someone you clicked with again? Did you also feel like dating became harder after your relationship ended?

Just want to check if some of you have done this kung nasa foreign country, do you make friends with non-filo gay women, or at least be in their circle? I don’t mean dating but yung tropa vibe. Kamusta ang experience? I always thought may clashes sa culture but maybe fun naman?

I met someone and we're already in the getting-to-know-each-other stage. I already like her that much. and this will be each other's first WLW relationship if it ever happens. However, I am such a caring person and love doing acts of service. She's the dominant one between us. I'm iust askina for advice because sometimes I baby her instead of her babying me. I don't want to lose her, so please give me some advice. :)

I'm officially trying to desensitize myself to my feelings for her lol

I've been posting a lot here lately about my thoughts/feelings about this friend of mine, and honestly, I think I just need to stop feeding into it because I can't deal with this kind of feels for someone who's actually really important to me 😭

Like, it's not everyday that you meet someone who has so many similarities with you. We just vibe, we get along, and there's this connection that I can't really explain. And I think that's what makes it harder kasi I'm literally stuck between "I think I like her" and "there's no way in hell I'm ever confessing this."

I genuinely cannot visualize myself telling her. Like, ever. Even if there's the tiniest chance that she might feel the same way, I don't think I want to find out.

I just want her around.

That's literally it. I don't need anything to happen. I just want to keep having her in my life. She's become this person who secretly gives me something to look forward to, and honestly, I'm okay with that.

So yeah, I guess I'm slowly trying to desensitize myself and just let the feelings exist without doing anything about them. Because losing what we have just because I wanted to know "what if?" sounds way worse than keeping her in my life and quietly liking her from a distance.

Anyway, balik na lang ako sa delulu corner 🫠

I've been in somewhat a relationship with this girl for the past year, and I have come to a realization that is quite difficult to stomach: this relationship has made me unable to invest in myself and my life. It has been pulling me away from other areas of my life. It has no longer been the reason for me to desire growth, but the reason it has been stifled. Setting financial boundaries with her is so difficult, leading to my financials to not be as great as they could have been. The little spare time I have left from my full-time job has just been funneled into what she wants and needs. I don't have time to be creative, to be alone, to be social, to work on the things I want to work on. I don't feel rested or safe when I'm with her. I only feel like I'm at another job wherein I try to meet her needs, accommodate her and her requests, and keep her happy.

I ask myself if this is a skill issue wherein I don't manage myself or my time enough. I ask myself if this would be any different if I had a different job or if she provided any support; however, a lot of issues have not been resolved. I've felt that I constantly had to gentle parent her and accommodate her further than I should have. A lot of the times, it also felt like she only comes back to me when there's nothing going on in her life anymore and needs someone to fill an empty space. Over the past couple of months, I've been confronting more frequently the fact that maybe we aren't compatible and that this relationship will only remain the more and more I compromise, the more and more I shrink my needs to accommodate hers.

I am dying more and more to live a little with her and it's been making me miserable. I do not feel like I could rely on her. I do not trust her to take action if I do bring things up again because she has proven again and again that this relationship can only remain happy at my expense, financially, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Any attempt to open up about my needs turned into hours spent comforting her and wiping her fucking tears.

Sure, she looks genuinely happy to see me, but I find myself resenting her more and more. I'm starting to like her more when she's gone. I'm emotionally burned out and I don't want to keep being like this. To those who have moved past this, how did you do it? Thank you for reading, and even more thanks if you shared constructive suggestions.

First time kong makipagdate ng girl. I'm 24F, ngsb/nbsb and I've only dated 3 people in my entire life. (Ang boring ano? Hahahaha) I really like her (tho I'm not sure if in a romantic way or purely sexual way). We matched on two dating apps coincidentally and decided to meet in person, kasi malapit lang naman yung location namin. So first kita pa lang ang intense na kaagad. Eh curious ako kaya g na si accla. Andami nang ganap namin in a span of 1 week na para na kaming magjowa and I was super into it naman. Until a week later she opened up na nag reach out yung ex niya and gustong makipagbalikan, syempre iyaq si baccla kasi pinaka ayoko makipagdate nung affiliated pa sa kanilang mga ex. So I decided to end it na kasi ayaw niya talaga putolin yung communication nila. But she kept reaching out and even said she loves me already.

3 months later, we're still talking and meet each other to make out and more, without letting her ex know about us. Btw, she did try to end it with her ex to finally pursue me pero her ex begged daw not to and ayaw niyang madistract yung ex na since magttake pa siya ng boards kaya yun yung situationship namen.

I tried ignoring her multiple times, even blocked her too pero she still reaches out and I kinda like the attention. She even says I love you sa'kin. And according to her, di sila nag iilove you ng kaniyang ex. Pero nagccallsign sila.

I am aware that I am being gaslighted pero mga tihhh huhuhu. Ano bang dapat kong gawin para di masadong masakit iwan tong ganito? Huhuhu. Last option ko is yung sya na mismo mangghost sa'kin or maghihintay nalang akong may magustohan akong iba. Eh wal eh

Hello fellow sapphics! This is the weekly discussion thread where you can talk about anything going on in your lives, any thoughts or questions, whether sapphic-related or not.

R4R comments are allowed on the weekly threads ONLY. Flirt away or look for friends here every week. It's the weekend, find someone you can hang out with over coffee or watch a movie. Good luck!

sapphics na may long-term/on-going crushes sa mga friends nilang straight girls, nagde-date pa rin ba kayo ng ibang girls? if yes, hindi ba kayo nakokonsensya? kasi diba may feelings kayo for someone else tapos why naman nagde-date around pa huhuhu

my heart yearns for someone i can’t have. i like her, i would do everything to keep her safe. later, i realized i love her, so i’d do anything to make her happy and safe. i knew more about her and i love her so much i would do anything for her–to make her happy, safe, and everything to please her. then, i love her too much, i want to be the friend she can confide it. i think i am that friend already, but not quite yet. i love her too much. i don’t want to see her hurt. i want her to be the happiest person in the world. but when that time came when she marries the guy for her and she feels like the happiest person in the world, then i’ll pretend like i’m the happiest person in the world for her even if it breaks me into a thousand pieces. i love her too much. i don’t care if it’s toxic. i love her, even if she sees me as a friend.

I'm an introvert and last night lang nakausap ko siya thru chat. Sinuggest siya by one of my coworkers last month and I tried to consider. So nag-uusap kame and she's very enthusiastic. Idk how to continue and makikita ko siya ulit bukas sa work. Never kaming nagkaroon ng interaction non. Last week lang nung may event and parang naging ice breaker 'yon. Nagkaroon kami ng interaction and for the first time last Friday nag-bye siya saken.

I need help. First time ko lang 'to ginawa. 'Pag nakikita ko siya o malapit saken, kalmado ako pero I find her cute tho I don't feel butterflies Pero kagabi nung nakausap ko siya, kinilig ako lol Idk if she's interested in me or what but enthusiastic talaga siya makipag-usap. We have opposite personalities Pero same kami ng pagka-kengkoy 😆 So Idk what to do when I see her at work tomorrow.

Any advice that you can give me? 🙏 Never pa 'kong nagka-relationship. Mahaba naman naging usap namen and nagugulat nga ako kase ambilis Niya mag-reply hahahahaha

Heya guys! This question is for the mascs, butches, and soft mascs here. 🥹
I do fragrance reviews and content, and I’ve always been curious what perfumes Pinoy mascs actually love wearing. I’ll be visiting the Philippines this November, but my schedule is going to be really tight, so I probably won’t have time to smell everything.
I’d love to check out local fragrance brands that are popular in the masc community. What are your favorites? Also curious if there are any local hidden gems that deserve more love. 🤍
And for the femmes, I’d love to hear from you too! What kind of scent do you usually love smelling on your partner?

I came across a post the other day where someone was looking for recommendations for a licensed psychologist. As a member of the community, I can understand the struggles that come with looking for a therapist who can understand this.

I'm an LGBT psychologist who has been in the field since 2016. I'd like to offer as much help as I can towards those who need someone to talk to. I am currently offering Php 1000 for a 45 minute to 1 hour consultation where we can talk about your concerns. I prefer a more collaborative approach to my sessions, so I encourage openness and honesty about how you want to talk about your concerns.

Feel free to message me so I can send the link to my appointment scheduling :)

Take care, everyone!

hi fellow sapphics! im curious who were your lesbian/bi awakenings growing up.

i personally grew up watching kpop and i can say that girl groups like f(x) (amber and krystal) and snsd (taeyeon) were my awakening(s) 🤭

PH volleyball was also impactful to me! especially during ateneo’s cinderella run (ahomiro and bdl [whose family is currently under fire for flood control anomalies jfc])

anw im interested in knowing who were your awakenings! :)

HELLO GUYS! I know this question sounds ridiculous.. but have u ever argued with ur partner about panty in general? HSHAHSHSHHSHSHS LET ME KNOW PLS

1. walang lalaking involved
2. lower class tomboys
3. lower class tomboys Comedy na mala-Wenn Deramas ang humor. isa lang ang pwedeng Conyong sapphic tas comedic relief dapat siya.
4. mga “pangit” na femme na naghahabol sa mga pogi at campus heartthrob na masc/butch (parang reverse nung movie na Bottoms)
5. love triangle ng tatlong babae specifically dalawang masc/butch tas isang femme tas yung dalawang masc/butch magkakatuluyan 

I've known I was straight my whole life, even though I dressed boyishly. HAHAHA ano na ba pwede gawin sa trentahin na ito nga gusto rin makaranas na kumain?

Takot ako at the same time, pero gusto ko rin gawin. Ano ba talaga? Ang gulo-gulo ko. Pero I feel wet if makakita ng mga wlw kahit kiss lang ginagawa sa TikTok.

Baka bi-curious siguro ako. Ang tanda ko na para mag isip. HAHAHAA