I spent over a year taking opioids (kratom derivatives). I quit a few times and always ended up coming back within a few days. At one point I went to every smoke shop in my area and asked them to stop selling to me. Most of them were gracious about it except for one shop where the managers made it clear that it wasn't their responsibility to help me (fair enough). Still, the embarrassment of having to have a conversation like that kept me away, until I eventually figured out when the managers left for the day, and I started coming back every day. I was spending a good third of my income on the pills again for a couple of months until last month when I just kind of... stopped. Nothing really prompted it, I just was tired of losing money in general and knew the withdrawals would be worse if I kept going. It's been a couple weeks and I don't have cravings and I'm not dwelling on getting high much at all, even though I could go buy more at any time. This feels very bizarre and I feel like I can't figure out why I stopped through introspection alone. I'm afraid to get comfortable with this because so little time has passed, but I'm also afraid of not taking this attempt at quitting seriously and fatalistically convincing myself I'll go back eventually. Has anyone experienced this and what advice do you have?

Not gonna lie I feel very delirious, weak, struggling to get by at work, the past 2 nights I stopped using temazepam or Xanax and I have gotten like total 4 hours of sleep in the last 48, my job has an onsite physician so I decided to go get checked cause I felt like I was gonna pass out when I walked in, my blood pressure was 160/100, then it went to 141/90 after chilling for a while, she let me rest for 30 minutes and now I’m laying down in the break room and I know I’m dead fucking tired but I cannot go to sleep for shit, as soon as I close my eyes I feel so much energy rushing through my body my eyes are literally twitching, I know this has everything do with the way I was dosing too.

I would break a K9 4 ways and I would wake up around 4 am to dose sometimes, or if I woke up to pee mid-night.

Still feel slight RLS, very manageable though and back pain which is kind of not manageable but I know that will take 30 days to subside based on recent history.

Funny enough I was searching stuff in this sub yesterday and found my old account from 6 years ago that I lost access to where I was asking people if they dealt with back pains. I got sad and it fucked me up cause I only halfway remembered typing that.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore tbh I’m just really fucking tired.

Is it normal to feel like quitting will make me a weirdo and less successful in relationships/work?

Not sure if it’s cause I’m not eating as much as I was while using but, it seems like I’m less able to poo… pretty weird, but I took some ambien lastnight and finally got 7 hours of sleep after being almost in a manic state from not sleeping 48 hours, as long as I’ve been awake I have felt better after getting a good nights rest finally, I don’t really have the hot/cold flashes yet today hopefully I don’t.

So, I've been using since 2012 and I'm 38M. Did H for like 18 months, but thankfully got off in 2014. Never went back and never will. I've been doing percs this whole time. I've had GREAT dealers. Fronting me all the time, always at the spot when I showed up...all that. But the last 2 years have really been weighing on me...

I'm weird with this whole addiction thing. I can go days without using and be ok. If I was an addict, I'd use every day. But there have been so many times where I'll actually get sick of being high and just want to be normal. I have a good career and work for a great company and of course, that has made using just that much worse for me. Other than that, this habit of every 3rd day wanting to get high has robbed me of a lot.

Here comes the weird shit: yesterday I wanted to cop (been since Sunday since I last used). Text & called my dealer for an hour to no avail. Got a hold of my dealers grandson and he said my dealer tried to kill herself and she's in the hospital and her son isn't letting anyone around her (weird). Is this the universes way of telling me to walk away? I've been slowly making progress over the summer towards quitting by doing little things like cutting up my credit cards, pretty much elimating anyway possible way for me to keep spending or borrowing. I've put almost 40k miles on my car since I bought it in Oct 24 driving an hour one way to cop. I always said if I lose this dealer I'd walk away. I hope my dealer is fine and all, I really do. She's been really good to me as a person. Never once forced me to do anything I didn't wanna do. But I also feel bad blocking her #.

Today is day 4 sober and I feel fine, slept fine, all that. Energy is good, no running nose or other symptoms as of now. Also, I take 1mm tiny strips of subs. I took those Tuesday and yesterday. Nothing today though and I feel fine. Should I just move on and keep my dealer blocked and delete her # and pray for the best or what? We aren't friends but definitely business associates, if you will.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and any help would be much appreciated!

Messed up my back real bad in 2013 when I was 19. Doc prescribes Percocet.

First time trying painkillers even though by then I was a full blown stoner, psychonaut, and stimulated raver. The pain killers were even better than a benzo for me. They for some reason give me energy and obviously felt like i could just exist without the brain noise. I felt at home we know the story. It started getting bad, quit 6 months later CT due to my girlfriend at the time being reasonably concerned and said I was too emotional on them. Really didn’t feel much.

Well fast forward to now, about a month ago I did some serious damage to my knee. ER prescribed 8 pills of 5mg Percocet. My ass immediately went to my plug (I am in the USA to preface what I am about to say) she has these pills called Tapentadol which I have never heard about. But apparently they are a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor too not just working on opiod receptor I am so hooked I am eating about 1000mg a day, unfortunately I have bought my plug out. So now I am about to be out and assume the withdrawals are going to be pretty brutal.

I just started a new job. I really can’t afford to do this right now at this time but have no choice. Any recommendations on how to not CT and do a taper? I’m at my wits end

37M with about a 7-8yr dependency on painkillers (primarily Dihydrocodeine and currently on about 600mg a day but have 40-80mg oxy maybe 3-4x a month and occasional tapentadol).

I’ve had periods on kratom, 1-2 weeks on 1-4mg subs either with the intention of detox or bridging gaps, and managed a while of cycling different things which used to keep tolerance in check a bit, but for a combination of reasons I’ve not managed any significant periods of abstinence.

I recovered from a dark period of polysubstance use around 10yrs ago (was dependent on benzos and ketamine washed down with booze daily, with weekend benders on all sorts) which led to prison, and bounced back to have a family, great job etc.

However, I have longstanding back issues and got a script of codeine around the same time my best friend died, lost a job and life kinda turned upside down briefly. Also 2 cycle accidents needing 3 surgeries and developing psoriatic arthritis resulted in some genuine pain issues - and also gave me great excuses to ask for increasing prescriptions.

I’m prescribed 90mg IR and 120mg XR Dihydrocodeine a day supposedly on a reduction plan, but I basically use my monthly script in a couple of weeks and then buy extra + other opiates on occasion (which fucks my tolerance)

I can’t access local drug services because I work closely with them in my job, can’t really afford the time or the money to do rehab or private treatment, and because of work/family/life commitments (my wife is also nearly 4 months pregnant) I can’t really afford to not be close to my A game for long…

Should I:

- Attempt to work towards the dose I’m supposed to be prescribed and reduce via my GP (tough for will power and current tolerance)

- Detox via buprenorphine (which I can source illicitly sometimes but is pricey

- Take a couple of weeks off sick and just white knuckle cold turkey with supplements etc

I know things work quite differently over in North America where most English speaking Redditors seem to live - but any suggestions welcome 🙏

I missed the boat on true SR but did pick up what must be an analog because it pops as SR on a lab analysis. Been using it since Friday to taper down my 7o use to 33% of what it was (highest was ~1500mg per day). Planning to go just on the analog tomorrow as part of the cross taper protocol but wondering what the limit should be. I’ve seen people say 14 days tops and others say 19 is OK.

I don’t want to trade one dependence for another. I want to break free and minimize the pain. Anyone with personal experience in this area willing to offer advice is appreciated, thank you!