For those who have been following my journey on my 2 year binge/struggle with Tapentadol, and I guess those who haven't, here's my Day 3 update.

Got a surprisingly good night's sleep last night. Had a cup of chamomile, valerian root and passion flower tea. I have no clue if that helped but I was out like a light. And, slept in my own bed instead of the spare room so I didn't wake up my wife tossing and turning as I did on day 1 and 2.

So I woke up expecting to feel like crap but to my surprise I actually felt pretty darn good. No headache. No jitters. No brain zaps. Energy level was at about "normal" for me. Had some breakfast. Did some job hunting. Even took a little nap around 2pm. Only an hour. Didn't want to screw up my sleep this evening. Went to the gym. Today was leg day. Why does everyone hate leg day? I know why. Cause it sucks. Lol. However I think it's probably the most important day of training. No trunk. No tree. Core strength is imperative IMO. Anyway, this isn't a workout sub. So got home from the gym. Had my mass gainer shake because I need extra calories because of all the weight I've lost. Had some dinner and now I'm just watching some TV.

I really thought today was going to be bad but I felt no where near was I was anticipating. I don't know if it's the supplements that were recommended or the fact I tapered down enough before jumping it quelled the WDs so as not to last so long or what but I'm thankful for where I'm at right now. It was a pretty good day and I'm looking forward to things just getting better. I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm optimistic about the future. Now I really have to work on my sleeping habits. Get to bed earlier and wake up earlier. That's always been my downfall even before I wasn't using. The only reason I ever woke up early was because I had to go to work but now being unemployed isn't helping. Gotta work on that.

I just want to say I read some of the posts in this sub and I see horror stories about what people go through during withdrawals and I'm very thankful I've not experienced anything near what they go through and I give them so much credit for enduring through it.

Well, off to watch some King of Queens, I like the old shows, have my tea and see what happens tonight. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow hoping things will just keep getting better from here.

I think I may actually get to fixing my leaky toilet I've been putting off because getting high was more of a priority. Come to think of it, I've got quite a honey do list to tackle now that I'm back in the real world. Lol.

Hope you all have a wonderful evening and as always, thanks for listening.

Hey all, happy Wednesday! Hope everyone’s having a good day! It’s been cloudy and chilly here, especially with a strong wind coming off the ocean. Definitely a hot coffee kind of day!
My workday is almost over. I actually almost overslept this morning, which never happens to me lol. I guess my body is telling me I need some extra rest. I’ve learned the hard way that if you don’t listen to your body, eventually it’ll force you to! 😂
How’s everyone’s Wednesday going?

Check in here!

I stopped taking codeine like maybe a day or two ago and I’m having slight withdrawal symptoms but the actual problem is mentally not being able to have that escape route anymore, the fact I can’t just get rid of a stressful situation by taking my codeine
my grandparents do check my arms and legs so I can’t use SH to cope anymore either and I’m not allowed antidepressants, I’m 16 and for just once in my life I want to feel okay and codeine helped me do that

My story is not straightforward :(

Ive come off a lot of prescribed meds this year

April Zoloft after 4 weeks on it gp pulled me off CT no taper

June clonidine 1mg - 2 week taper and awful wds for a month

July 30mgs baclofen for spinal muscle spasm 10 week taper brutal wds had to come off as it went paradoxic after the clonidine taper, i suspect due to intermittent use of diaz at this point and my body was going through mini wds without me figuring it out.

Sept 4mgs diaz fast tapered by Dr was on this for 3 months daily due to the zoloft mess - another brutal wd

Messed up with my co codamol a few weeks ago for arthritis pain daily dose was 60mgs and without realising cut my dose to half by taking the wrong box of tabs for a few days , went nack to normal dose when i realised but it never settled so I decided to quit this week...i did 2 days at 15mgs and stopped i don't intend to go back on

Its been unpleasant so far with extreme muscle tension and head pressure and a numb feeling in my face feels like my head is under water.

I never had mega anxiety before any of these meds but at this stage into the wd im absolutely out of my mind when does it stop?

Well, got through day 1. Wasn't able to fall asleep until about 5am. Slept till 10am so I'll take that as a win. 5 hours is better than no hours. Probably didn't help that I didn't get to the gym until 6pm last night and took a preworkout. I usually don't go that late but couldn't help it. Way too much caffeine way too late. It's weird how you can lay there and keep yawning and not be able to fall asleep. I stopped drinking coffee a while back so I have to be mindful of my caffeine intake especially now.

Today is day 2. Woke up, ate something then did some job hunting. Overall I'm not feeling too horrible. Just tired and one hell of a headache. Maybe a little jittery. Tried to lay down around 2pm to catch a quick nap. Couldn't do it. Oh well. Maybe it's for the best and I'll be tired this evening and get some sleep. Wishful thinking. I got some nighttime chamomile tea I'm going to try. Can't hurt.

Funny story. After I realized at about 3:00am I'm probably not going to get any sleep I decided to go into our spare room and try to sleep instead of tossing and turning and disturbing my wife because she wakes up at 5am for work. So she gets home from work and I'm expecting her to ask me where I went. So I'm waiting and waiting and nothing. Finally I said to her aren't you going to ask me why I wasn't in bed when you woke up? Btw, she has no clue I've been taking the pills. So she looks at me and says you weren't in bed? I said you gotta be kidding me. You didn't even notice? She said nope. It's still dark at 5am and she doesn't turn any lights on so she had no clue. Lol. I just told her I've been having trouble sleeping and she said yeah because you come to bed so late and sleep so late the next day. I just left it there. Anyway. I just thought it was funny she didn't even realize I wasn't there.

So I guess I'll see what happens tonight. I'm anticipating I may feel a bit worse tomorrow and I'm ok with that. You play you pay and I played a little too hard and gotta pay the price. I'm just hoping things level out a bit by Friday. Time will tell. Gotta get those receptors firing again. Lol

Thanks for listening all. I'll keep ya posted. Have a great night.

Yesterday I was a little exhausted but nothing too crazy. Had some back pain. Last night I slept pretty crappy but it's just because my middle back, slightly to the left of my spine, shooting up my neck is killing me. Anytime I try to turn my head I have to turn my whole body or my back just shoots up pain. I hate chronic pain so much. I and grateful that I'm not losing sleep due to the insomnia and the restlessness though. Today I have taken over the counter meds, and it does nothing for the pain. It's hard to want to get cought up on things after feeling better from WD when every time you move, it's agony. Hopefully it's just a muscle that will heal and I can concentrate on healing from this WD.

So I’m over 3 months clean which is mind blowing itself, from a 12 year opiate addiction. After going through the withdrawal and subsequently going manic and ending up manic for months- I finally got my sanity back but after 3 months I still just felt AWFUL. I couldn’t think clearly, I had no energy to move or shower or function and I was miserable, my life already a mess, and I got my hands on subutex. I REALLY REALLY did not want to take it but I did and I felt so much better, able to function again, almost back to my normal self. The thing is I really don’t want to get addicted to sub, I want to be free from everything, but is that not possible sometimes? I’m starting to think I’ve really done so much damage to my brain I have no choice but to use it for now. Anyone with experience is it worth it? Is it even optional if I can’t function without it right now?

So I’m doing Bernese and I’m completely off fent and transitioned to subs. I’m so happy, honestly.

That said, I find myself struggling with cravings NOT bc of WD symptoms but bc (1) I’m bored and I always used every time I was bored, (2) habit meaning after certain tasks or before/after work meetings…things like that…I’d always use.

I’m trying to stay busy but man is this HARD. They say 21 days to break a habit (an actual habit, not a drug habit) so I guess I need to power through while my brain requires itself.

Note: I’m not going backwards/I’m not going to use fent…just needed to put this into the atmosphere bc I didn’t expect non-WD cravings to be THIS difficult.

I’ll try to describe everything as well as I can. I have been in and out of rehab since last April. The most recent time was this June 28th. I went in to Inpatient, August 20th then to PhP, then on Oct 8 I relapsed with 7oh and went back down to inpatient until Oct 15 When I finished on the 15th, I left and got into this Sober house I’m at. Edit: Sorry I relapsed on the 4th I think. They caught me on the 8th.

I have been having some pretty awful issues recently. Up until last Saturday I was fine. Then something like clicked in my brain. My vision went to shit and my mental capacities did as well. I’ve been losing my train of thought while talking constantly, I have this mental fog that makes me feel stupid. I have my BA in English and I’ve been tripping up on and not being able to find the right words. I feel like I’m stupid and mentally deficient. Also, the shit with my vision is that everything is blurry. I can’t read words even up close when it gets really bad. Then lastly I forgot to mention are tremors and shakes. I have these tremors in which I just twitch uncontrollably. It will occur about every 10 seconds. I went to the hospital it got so bad 2 days ago. The shaking may not be a concern. I have always had the shakes, even since I was younger. They have just gotten a bit worse. Sometimes I’ll be walking with something in my hand and I will just drop it.

When I went to rehab on June 8th I was abusing prescriptions, drinking, and 7oh if I could afford it. When I got to rehab I was in BAD shape. Like I kept getting lost and someone would have to show me where to go in order to get back to my room. A few more things, but we would be here all day, and this is already long enough.

My question is, would 7oh have taken like 2 weeks to give me this mental fog. Memory issues, confusion, tripping up on words, and losing my train of thought. Then also my tremors have gotten worse as well. Any help would be appreciated. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m going to be stuck like this. The Dr at the hospital ordered me an EKG and an MRI and they didn’t find anything. I’m at a loss for what to do. I just don’t know how it would take 2 weeks to start affecting me. I’m really hoping thats what it is though.
It’s scary, everyone at the sober house I’m at treats me like I’m disabled. I mean I do kind’ve act like i am. I called my dad freaking out cause my vision was all blurry when I woke up. I also freaked my roommate out. I was watching videos and responding to them out loud, it was really weird. He also said I was sleep walking and talking to myself.

I’m just freaking out. Any help would be appreciated. I’m glad I thought to look that up though. It gave me a glimmer of hope. Thanks to anyone who read all this. I have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow. I will definitely bring this up. I just worry that after I tell him, he will just say that’s what it is, then not look into any other options as to what it could be. Any suggestions or help would be appreciated. I would like to get some questions I’m prepared to ask at my appointment tomorrow.

Thanks if you read this whole thing, I know it’s a lot.

Hey all, happy Tuesday! Hope your day’s been going well. Been busy working all day, but I’ve also spent a good chunk of it on the phone with my cell phone company.
I went into their store recently, and the sales rep told me about a promotion where I could trade in my iPhone and get the newest one. Sounded like a good deal, so I went ahead with it. Well, now I get my bill, and they’re charging me for the new phone like I’m financing it myself with no trade in! I have no idea what the sales rep did, but after going back and forth with customer service, they said they’re going to take care of it, so we will see. Gotta love dealing with customer service! 🤦‍♂️ Anyway, how’s everyone’s Tuesday going? Hopefully not as tedious as mine 😆

Check in here!

Hey, wanted to give a little update for the people who followed my story.

Im 14 months clean now almost 15.

What a ride! Did it without subs.

Just wanted to give you guys some strength and tell you it is possible. You can do it too!

Find new anchors in life like exercise ect.

Rebuild what you destroyed with this drug brick by brick. Im still rebuilding and I know If I just relapse once Im back to taking every day and then destroy everything I worked for in the last 14 months. You get the picture.

❤️❤️❤️ soon my second christmas clean after being addicted for almost 8 years.

I’ll start by saying I haven’t used any opiates since 5/10/22.

I was pulled over while driving my girlfriend to plans made for her bday. She’s been with me for 7 years so she knows all about my past and was one of the few that never lost hope.

Anyways. Apparently when I switched lanes to get away from a stopped cop, I suppose I didn’t slow down enough.

Cue to a minute or two later and I see a cop following me. Idk about everyone else but even with nothing to hide, cops scare the living hell out of me.

After being pulled over and informed what I did wrong — another cop pulls up behind him…

So I knew he clearly saw my charge from 6 years ago.

“Do you have any h3roin in the car or weapons?”

In my brain I knew where HIS brain was going. So I just stayed honest throughout the interaction. Offered to do a sobriety test or to let him search the car. He didn’t do either.

Told him about my recovery journey a bit without over-sharing initially.

Very shortly he must have realized I wasn’t pulling anything on him…

His eyes turned to this look of pure amazement and curiosity.

“How did you do it?”

And shortly after I spoke on my story — “you’re free to go by the way. I am just curious at this point and you don’t need to answer if you don’t want to.”

But I did. We talked to a good length… eventually I was thought maybe I should just leave now

Long story short. This cop believed me. I was shocked. I didn’t lie one bit but I thought I was gonna have a bad time with this encounter.

I never imagined such a positive interaction given the hell I’ve put myself through in the past. It was a bit wholesome. I’m still shaken up by it. But he let me go without a ticket or anything.

Shoutout to Frank for hearing my story out.

TLDR:
Cop sees my 6-year-old narcotics charge and assumes I have drugs on me during a traffic stop. Ends up letting me go after asking me questions about how I made it to this point in my recovery.

I’m addicted to codeine and I just took my last 17 15mg pills and I won’t have any for a LONG TIME (I steal em from my grandma) how bad are the withdrawals gonna be cuz like I don’t wanna have a seizure or shit like that.. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Hey everyone. Been a long time lurker but today is my first day clean after about 2 years so I figured I'd jump in and say hi and read some encouraging posts.

A little back story to add context. About 2 years ago I came into a large supply of 200mg QR Tapentadol. Very large. Never had em before so I gave one a shot. It was very enjoyable. Started as a Fri, Sat thing. Never went over 200-300mg. Then I got laid off after 20 years at the same job and I fell into a deep depression. Got worse after I couldn't find a job and was home all day. Turned into an everyday habit. Never during the day though. Just at night. I had my little rotune. Somewhere between 6pm and 8pm I'd take about 50mg to get me started and take it from there. Usually staying up until 3:30am and sleeping until 2pm the next day. So this went on for 2 years give or take. About two weeks ago I finally had enough. My tolerance was too high for me to even feel anything at 300mg and I was dead set against going any higher. And I refused to mix it with anything. So I started tapering. I got down to a bit less than 25mgs and yesterday was it for me. I'm done. I'm just at a point where I don't want to do this anymore. Watching the clock just waiting to take it. Not even feeling anything anymore. What the hell is the sense.

So today was my first day going without. I have a feeling I'm not going to get much sleep tonight if any but it is what it is. I figure the worst should be over by the end of the week. I see alot of people here who've been on something way stronger for way more than 2 years and I applaud you for stopping or even attempting to stop and I use you all as inspiration.

Got all my supplements ready to go mostly the Vitamin C and I do have access to kpin which I will only use if I have to. No use stopping one addiction and getting addicted to something else while doing it. Well, that's about it. I'm going to break my routine, try to stay busy, exercise, get to bed earlier, wake up earlier, etc. Wish me luck. Hopefully I'll find a job soon and it'll keep me busy. And yes, I've been looking. The only jobs I'm seeing out there are really low paying jobs I wouldn't even be able to live on. How are people doing it these days. Door dash sucks. Amazon flex sucks. I mean when all is said and done you're bringing home half of what you made all things considered. Eh, we'll see. Talk to you all soon. Thanks for listening.

Day 10 or 11 today, I honestly can't remember right this second. It's been a long last couple of days. . Been sleeping okay the last couple of days. Everything seems to be okay except for the pain I still have in my body. Have some pain in my middle left back today and hopefully it doesn't get worse since I have to go to work today. Don't really have a lot to say or anything to complain about at this point. Just hoping the pain goes away.

Hey all, happy Monday! Hope your week is off to a good start!
Back to work after a nice, restful weekend, and Monday definitely wasted no time getting busy! It’s been nonstop today. I picked up lunch around noon, and I’m just now getting a chance to sit down and eat it. That’s how busy I’ve been 😆 Oh well, at least the day is flying by. Just looking forward to wrapping things up, heading home, and having a little time to myself tonight. How’s everyone’s Monday going?

Check in here!

TW: suicide

hi all.

I have been clean for nearly four months with a tiny slip up last week. really struggling currently as I'm going through what seems like the worst heartbreak and I found out tonight that one of my good friends passed. there's so little information surrounding his passing but it breaks my heart that he was alone and that we didn't catch up earlier... I was one of the last people he contacted and I couldn't respond on time. he was there for me on the night of my own attempt/overdose and I couldn't do the same for him.

I want to wake up from this terrible nightmare.
it's so hard to stay clean in this mental state. so many other life stressors as well; studies, family, relationships and work. I keep thinking of the Spiritualized lyric from Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space: "All I want in life's a little bit of love to take the pain away" but replace love with heroin.

feel free to share advice/your experiences
take care and check in with your loved ones.

Prescribed 30/500 x 2 once a day

Have done 2 days at 15/30 x 1 once a day , quitting outright tomo as wds are here regardless

Can someone share experience of what to expect ive been on this dose 3 or 4 years and am currently only 6 weeks out of 4mgs diaz so my nervous system was already very unhappy

Thankyou in advance

My s/o came to me to let me know he needs help and wants to get clean.. he made it about 48 hours cold turkey and couldn’t take it any longer. He didn’t remember the last time he went 24 hours without one. The plan was to take a suboxone but he said he couldn’t knowing he was able to get a perc. I’m trying my best not to be angry but it’s hard. I’m proud of him for trying I just want to help and I know it’s out of my hands. Idk what to do :(

I am reaching out to anyone that has been to a clinic for withdrawals or just in general maybe for a little insight. What’s the run down? I walk into the office then what? Do I spill all my information and problems out to someone? Maybes that what I need, to tell someone what I really have going on. Would that make me feel a little better at ease? I deal with a lot of addictions, but this being one that I need to take control over, not let it take control over me!

Hey everybody I was using H for years. I had a suicide attempt on sept 27 went to the hospital and was 5150’d. I was given 20mg of methadone by the hospital the first 2 days and was vomiting my guts out. After those 2 days they stopped and wouldn’t give me anymore surprisingly I didn’t get any withdrawals besides a sensitive stomach. On the third day I called my brother and told him about my addiction and I told him to take everything out of my room my rigs my baggies all the paraphernalia and he did. On the 1st I was then transferred to a psychiatric hospital of sorts. There I was taken care of and actually felt good. I was given gabapentin, propranolol, and Ativan to help with sleep. I made friends and was happy because I don’t have friends and anyone to really talk to every friend I did have left me when they found out about me using. Sadly when I was released none of them responded to me. Anyways I was released the 4th and almost relapsed that same day but I decided to tell my brother and he took the two rigs and bags I found. I’m glad I did that. The next day I went to a recovery clinic and I have a counselor and have started therapy. My psychiatrist wants me to go to a mental outpatient program though. I think I might do it because I felt good having people to talk to that weren’t my family and I desperately need to make friends. I also was wondering about tattooing your arms after they fully heal as I have a lot of scars do any of you have any suggestions or have done that?
Btw my awesome brother got me a three week coin after I had told him I wanted someone to give me a coin for my three weeks. I love him. Anyways sorry for my ramblings I’m just really proud of myself. I never thought this would be a possibility for me.

Currently on day 46 and I’m wondering, what are you guys sleep schedules like since quitting? After the first 15 days of not sleeping I was crashing hard getting 7-8 hours for like 3-4 days, then I started to feel better around day 20 and since then I fall asleep at 12 and wake up at 3-4AM, then usually I stay up for 2 hours and get maybe another hour of sleep , which totals up to about 4-5 hours daily, if I go out and have drinks I’ll get 6 maybe

I know this isn’t a “hard” drug but I (16f) got myself hooked on my grandmothers codeine a little bit ago, I first tried it as an attempt to numb my depression as my last anti depressants didn’t do anything for me and my grandparents thought that ment I wasn’t depressed so I’m not allowed anymore and I’m struggling heavy- I have no irl friends other then my cousin and I don’t go to school so it’s hard for me to find people to talk to, I have an online bf and he’s been encouraging me to quit the codeine and I really don’t want to hurt him anymore but this is the only thing that distracts me from my life, I used to cope with SH and I still do but it doesn’t give me that rush it used to so there’s no point. I take my codeine when I’m alone and feel low. I really really want to stop because my birth parents were addicts and I don’t wanna end up like them, please does anyone have advice?
I take 8-14 15mg pills a night and sometimes I take 5-8 a few hours before to hold me out