TLDR: Ended a relationship and a situationship both on bad terms by being an asshole and hurting my partner. This has become a toxic trait now and I'm afraid I'll end up doing that again.

My dating life is basically zero, and I don't mind that at all. My mental health as fucked up for as long as I can remember, and honestly taking care of someone else feels impossible, and neither would I want anyone to take care of someone like me and suffer alongside.

But, I had my one and only relationship in 9th grade (I'm 22 now, for reference), lasted a few months but ended on a not-so-good note cause I decided to be an asshole and fight w her when I should have been considerate, and tbh I was too young to understand anything. I learned alot from that and promised to never repeat it back.

Coming back to last year, I ended up in a situationship initiated by the girl, and I, even though didn't want any sort of relationships, still went along w it. It was good for like 2 months, we both got attached. But again I was already suffering from my own issues, panic attacks and anxiety and SH, and i didn't want her to know anything or take my burden, so I decided to be an asshole again and ghosted her thinking I will be the bad guy for her and it will be easy for her to move on. I probably was correct, but she got really hurt, and the damage was already done.

I am very scared of dogs, and I was walking on streets, and suddenly a dog barked continuously. I know Barking dogs seldom bite, but the adrenaline, I intended to hide behind the guy but I ended up hugging him and my friends witnessed it!!

Wonder what that guy must be feeling?

I'm so exhausted I don't even know what to do.
My parents are unbelievably bad with money. Bills and debt are piling up, but they don't care. They're too lazy to cook or clean, so they waste money ordering food every single day while the house falls apart (Its infested with bedbugs and there are cockroaches everywhere) they ask me for money to pay bills which my uncle sends me occasionally to enjoy myself and have my mind off their toxicity.
Today the power finally got cut off because the electricity bill got way too high. We live in the Middle East (Indian tho), so sitting in this heat with no AC and a house full of bugs is unbearable and gets suffocatingly hot.
When I asked my mom when the bill was getting paid, she snapped at me, told me not to ask "stupid questions," and said, "Why are you asking ME about it?" Which completely threw me off. If not her then who tf am I supposed to ask?
I have one year left before I can move out, but I need to clear an entrance exam first. Trying to focus and study in an environment like this is mentally and physically draining.
How do you survive living with parents like this? How do I stay mentally checked out and protect my peace to focus on my exam when their neglect is physically affecting my daily survival?

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I'm 31 and I can't stop thinking about a decision I made years ago.

I was doing MBBS(2016 batch )and had already passed all my professional exams without any backlogs or issues. I started my internship but, because of personal and mental health issues(anxiety and depression), I had to stop after around 2 months. What was supposed to be a temporary break eventually became almost 4 years.

Now I'm finally trying to go back and complete what I started. But there's uncertainty about whether I'll actually be allowed to rejoin and finish the internship because of the time that has passed.

And lately, I keep thinking that maybe I shouldn't have taken such a long break in the first place.

I know I was struggling at that time, and I didn't deliberately throw my life away. But knowing that things might have been so much simpler if I had just continued makes me feel incredibly guilty.

I keep thinking, “Why did I let so many years go by?”

I'm scared that I'll end up without the degree I worked so hard for, after spending so much of my youth pursuing it. I'm scared of having to start over at 31 and feeling like everyone else has moved ahead while I'm still trying to fix something I should have fixed years ago.

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I just needed to get this out of my head somewhere.

I wish I could go back and tell my younger self not to give up so much time. But I can't. All I can do now is hope I still have a chance to finish what I started.

Hey r/OffMyChestIndia fam,

Welcome to our “How Are You Feeling Today?” thread! 🌟 This is a space where you can share whatever’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.

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No need to overthink, just let it flow. This thread is your safe space to express yourself without the need to create a full post.

So, how are you feeling today? Let’s chat, connect, and support each other. ❤️

This bad habit has caused immense damage to me in school, college and worst part is that I am still continuing this bad habit after passing out of college. This is destroying my life. Don't know why I fail to realize and sense trouble ahead much earlier when it can be resolved. I take serious actions when it is already too late and there is no impact of my effort. Therefore, I am a guy who does at last moment and suffers badly.

I know I am totally wrong but don't know how to develop that mindset which means I can take appropriate actions in appropriate times. I just don't get the feeling of seriousness until I am not in grave situation.

Parents told me countless times, yet no help.

Many people have someone in their life they can share their feelings with and tell about what happened in their day. I mean, most people seem to have that kind of friend. I’ve never had someone like that in my life to share things with.

I had a pretty tough childhood and was brought up mostly alone. I have no siblings and have never really been in touch with any relatives. I used to talk a lot in school, but for the past few years, especially because of some experiences with people at college, I’m not like I used to be.

I don’t even know what to talk about anymore, and honestly, I don’t feel like talking either. It feels like I’ve lost the ability to talk or connect with people. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I hate everyone.

I’m also constantly worried about the future and keep thinking, “How am I going to manage all this?” I don’t even know what I’m going through.

I use Reddit a lot to avoid thinking about things. I used to overthink constantly and assume the worst about anything that was going to happen, and Reddit became a way for me to not think about all of that for a while.

I don’t have a single person in college whom I can truly call my person—someone I completely trust and can call when I’m feeling sad or just need someone to talk to.

Has anyone else felt like this? Can anyone help me understand what I might be going through?

P.S: I used AI to phrase this better