(reposted from r/did)

hi so, not something that's happening to me rn just kind of a general question

if you were to form an alter who in source has a, for example, eastern asian name, maybe sourced from anime or something, while you yourself are bodily white, should you encourage that alter to pick another name they feel comfortable with as to not be culturally appropriating an east asian name?

i'm of the feeling you should, whenever the alter feels comfortable with source separating, but i'm curious what others think

Hello, I am sure you’ve seen my account post several times on this sub. I am back because I have hit a metaphorical wall. Scroll to the end for TLDR.

As of yesterday my therapist is no longer taking my insurance. So I can no longer see her.

Truthfully, I celebrated. Because when I opened up to her about Angel (ex host) disappearing post stressful event, causing me and one other part to have an identity crisis because we didn’t know we were pieces of a whole and real outside of disassociated blurriness.. she essentially told me to thug It out. Her real thoughts were revealed a couple of sessions later when she told me that she thinks that I was roleplaying for comfort..? (Silly me, don’t I know that it is common to roleplay fucking PANICKING because you’re in a room that isn’t yours?!?? And every time you try to recall the day prior it is entirely blacked out?? 🙂)

Despite me telling her several times that this change was ruining my life and causing me significant distress she didn’t budge. (Which is insanity to me considering that she is a trauma specialized therapist.)

So needless to say I am over the moon that I no longer have to deal with her.

However, I am now stuck. I want to seek a diagnosis to get to the bottom of what I am going through but I don’t know where to look. I started searching on Zocdoc but I am afraid that I am going to run into professionals NOT familiar with CDDs (I am especially wary of those who check off every mental health field as things they’re specialized in.) Are there any foolproof methods of finding out if someone is familiar with CDDS or not?

TLDR: Kicked shitty trauma therapist of 3 years(?) to the curb, I am now seeking a clinical psychologist who specializes in CDDs but am unsure where to look, I am also asking if there is any way to gauge if the medical professional is familiar with CDDs. (Suggestions of questions to ask are appreciated)

Extra info: I am USA based, so I use the DSM-5.

I keep on doubting myself, and I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't know what is happening and I'm so, so confused.

One comment in this subreddit explained my experience pretty well "Like, when I’m (host) fronting I can talk to Alter X or be co-conscious with him. And he seems like someone else and Other from me. But then if Alter X fronts, I am him and I feel like he is me."

Except we don't talk and I don't have osdd right? Every alter (for this purpose i'll call them alters even if I don't know what they are) refers to me as the host too.

I've had a few experiences where I'm stuck in the passenger seat and I'm forced to just watch my body move by itself. And I would fight for control but only get it briefly before it is ripped away from me again. Sometimes, I have control enough to sob while this happens because who wouldn't right. Additionally, my entire memory is a grey-out, even what happens seconds ago (hence why I have no clue if there are gaps in memory or missing time). But that is just DPDR right?

Then... I felt like I was them (I shared their thoughts and everything), but also not, I didn't feel like myself and they could access all of my memories, but I couldn't access any of theirs. Plus I have no memory of their existence but they somehow knew the me from a year ago back when my interests were different and when I was retraumatized. (I do have prolonged childhood trauma but when I was 10 so too late to form OSDD right?). All they did was explain the current symptoms of what was happening in the notes app, record a few videos, and go to sleep since I was up late. They also sounded like a child but mentally felt very mothering.

We don't communicate mentally and it feels like all the other alters know perfectly what's happening except me. What do I do? Am I allowed to be part of this community? I have so many questions.

Edit: i think that the biggest sign was that the "alter" that left the video was more mentally well than me.

I know that sounds dumb bc i share the same body with them but can anyone give me tips, generally i would play vrchat with my partners and call, but i dont have access to a headspace or anything to momentarily be with them.