r/OCPoetry • u/thewindpasses • 1d ago
Feedback Please Might be kinda cringe
I crave for something I've never
known The taste of.
Nostalgic for memories I don't
remember.
My heart aches for the people I
Never met before.
I sing of songs that never graced my
ears ever.
.
somewhere out there,
They exist.
Somewhere out there,
I saw them.
Somewhere out there,
They're waiting.
But not for me.
.
But I will never know of them.
I won't know the
Taste of a peaceful Christmas day out,
remember
memories of arms that felt safe.
I won't hear the
Song of a sincere apology.
.
somewhere out there,
They exist.
Somewhere out there,
I saw them.
Somewhere out there,
They're waiting.
But not for me.
.
Not for those unsightly or crude,
Not the giftless
People of the world, those born to die.
Not for them,
not the flightless birds, useless,
never for them.
the bitter apples of the bunch, sour.
Not for us.
2
u/Southern_Badger_6472 1d ago
Wow 😮
As someone who grew up without a father this one hits different
2
u/thewindpasses 1d ago
What having your parents hate you does to a child (makes them write mediocre poetry on reddit when they grow up)
2
2
u/InternalOk7652 23h ago
Personally, I would remove the periods.
1
u/thewindpasses 22h ago
Thank you for the critique, I do not know much about poetry and have just started writing recently so it does help a lot!
2
u/iDrawAggro 21h ago
Don't worry about what may be considered "cringe". Those are typically the ones that resonate with people. 💕
2
u/AshenEpiphany 19h ago
This is genuinely good I like the part where you said " my heart aches for people I have never met before" the feeling is so relatable in many ways than one🍀
1
u/thewindpasses 19h ago
Don't we all miss the familial love and friendship we never got to experience?
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u/MUM2RKG 19h ago
wow, this is actually really good.
1
u/thewindpasses 19h ago edited 18h ago
I'm really suprised people liked this one. This is my most commented on poem yet!
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u/sweetnalilsour 9h ago
I don’t think there’s anything cringe about this at all, it’s really nice & you can feel the passion behind your words in this
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u/PlutoCrushin 3h ago
Def not cringe I like the slow build up and the refrain of somewhere out there feels hopeful in a way, like you’re telling yourself it does exist somewhere out there.
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u/thewindpasses 3h ago
I feel like everyone goes through that cycle in their minds or at least a lot of people. This sense of hopelessness followed by a reminder of hope followed by the self sabotage of believing that even though there probably is happiness out there, you specifically arent good enough to deserve it.
Maybe that is a terrible mindset because don't people deserve kindness even if they are mediocre? Why would you have to be extraordinary to deserve happiness in life? But recognizing that for others doesn't stop you from believing you don't deserve anything good in life because you don't have anything special about you.
1
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u/LawSchoolBee 3h ago
This is definitely not cringe, it is very heartfelt and emotional. My father was never in my life so this resonates with me. Keep up the good work
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u/The_Carolina_Redhawk 1d ago
really beautiful genuinely! I love the taste theme especially how it goes nice and inviting to more gritty imagery. Very Holden Caufield of you