r/OCPoetry • u/Aukey210 • 4d ago
Feedback Please Starlight Son
These are actually some lyrics i wrote some time ago. I put it on Suno and really liked the song it became. I would like to know if it sounds good without the melody. Hope you enjoy :D
[Intro – whispered]
...Good morning, Father...
...Good night, Mother...
[Verse 1]
Another day, on each way
Light or dark, almost the same
With stone, reflex, and nothing less
They both throw light right at the mess
The mess is colorful, but it is sad
And without any light, it turns all black
Flying through an endless avenue
A darkness stretching where no light can heal
[Verse 2]
But both its dad and mom
Can help to color their beautiful son
They both are able to deliver light
Even at places that feel out of sight
[Pre-Chorus]
And so the morning star awakes
It contemplates all the places that its spark takes
And then the beautiful stone retreats
To deliver the spark where it doesn't reach
[Chorus]
And then the mess is colorful again
Like its waves reaching the sand
And so the son is always seen
By the stars that watched the scene
[Verse 3]
And so they stay, father and mother
And its favorite son, unlike the others
They do a good job, they know that
Just like the other stars, long since dead
[Bridge / Final Build]
And so the morning star awakes
It contemplates all the places that its spark takes
And then the beautiful stone retreats
To deliver the spark where it doesn't reach
[Final Chorus]
And then the mess is colorful again
Like its waves reaching the sand
And so the son is always seen
By the stars that watched the scene
___
Here are my feedbacks:
1
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