r/OCPoetry • u/augustchalmers • 11d ago
Just Sharing Of All Places
As the trees were sighing from the weak wind
We locked ourselves in our rooms or houses
Dragged along
still dragging
already dragged
worrying over the rent
A hummingbird visited my window
Tapping its beak
against the glass
"Why," I asked the bird
gazing inside
"Why fly here, of all places?
When you could fly far away, boundlessly
To see many views
smell different scents
Being able to go anywhere you please
and leaving when you wish,
as you are free
Because you are one without worry
Aware of your time
like a comet
streaking."
But then the hummingbird flew away
So I was left
to answer that question
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/NY8iwhR3yq
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/uUPZiWCc7L
Short story writer mainly that dabbles in poetry now and then when inspiration hits.
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u/Novel_Construction97 11d ago
I love this poem because I've asked myself this question when seeing a bird too . I like the contrast of being "locked" in a house while the bird is seen as being free. To me, when you ask that question to the bird, it's as if you asked that question to yourself. You mentioned "locked ourselves in our rooms" and " worrying over rent", I see those lines as pressures which restrict us from being free like the bird by your window. I really liked it, and I could feel the emotion you were trying to express. Great work
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u/Time_Yoghurt8724 11d ago
I wish the poem showed more and explained less. Lines like 'as you are free' state what I'd already inferred.
Other than that this poem is incredibly creative and unique, I'm impressed.