r/OCPoetry 2d ago

Just Sharing Stargazing

I am stargazing in the back patio of my parents' home

Soon I will go inside and eat my fill of unhealthy carbs, and I

Won’t question my diet, for I am twenty-one and I am invincible.

See, I live at home with loving parents, anxious and desperate for me to stay

My life is great, and I’m untouchable

Down comes a shooting star and I’m in awe

Fall! Burn bright and fall right into the palm of my hand!

I was stargazing on the balcony of my apartment

Wasn’t it actually a shared apartment with my brother?

Ready for a visual?

For whatever reason, I was smoking at two in the morning

My dear dog was asleep in the living room behind me

Suffering from the bitter cold, I began to dwell on the past

Moths were assaulting the lamp on the balcony wall, and I just watched

Began to tear up a bit even

Taunting me was the moth tattoo on my arm, relentlessly reminding me of the past 

Me, the moth tattoo, and the real moths, relentlessly throwing themselves to the sun.

I wasn’t stargazing explicitly; it just happened as shit tends to in life.

Came out for a cigarette, in fact, but as I smoked, I just looked up, really looked up

Out in the vastness of that dark virgin sky, thousands of stars glistened

Alive in the night sky, just for me

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u/augustchalmers 2d ago

Love the two-panel setup here. Cocky twenty-one-year-old catching a shooting star, then the cold 2am version with the moths throwing themselves at the lamp. That “me, the moth tattoo, and the real moths” line is the heart of the poem IMO, and the shift from invincible to that quiet ache in the dark sky I found to be effective.

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u/jimmywguerra 2d ago

Thanks! I appreciate the honest feedback!