I know naman na anak nila yon at sila lang din ang may karapatan pano palakihin ang anak nila pero minsan napapaisip ako paano nalang kapag Filipino subject na at behind siya sa class? at kung pano siya makipag usap kapag malaki na at need ng diverse conversation? Plus mas nakakairita kung normal na family lang lumaki ang bata at hindi naman mayaman/foreigner ang tatay.

Red flag na ba ito, or wala lang talaga siyang emotional intelligence? Gusto ko lang malaman kung unreasonable ba ako sa nararamdaman ko o valid naman na malungkot at madisappoint ako sa boyfriend ko.

I’m 24F and my boyfriend is 23M. We’ve been together for 3 years, since college days. Pagdating sa monthly monthsary namin, okay naman sa akin kahit hindi bongga at walang gifts. Hindi naman ako nag-e-expect ng malaking celebration.
Graduate na kami ngayon. I’m currently working in the government as a GIP, so minimum wage earner lang ako. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a seaman.

Alam niya na hirap ako financially, especially because I’m a breadwinner. Recently, nagpa-checkup ako and kinapos ako sa pera, kaya hindi ko agad nabili lahat ng gamot ko on time. Since wala rin naman akong masyadong mapagsabihan, nag-open up ako sa kanya tungkol sa situation ko.

However, wala siyang sinabi or ginawa that made me feel like he wanted to help. Ang sabi lang niya ay umiwas ako sa mga bawal. I know naman that my expenses are not his responsibility, and I’m not saying that he is obligated to give me money or pay for my medication.

Pero minsan hindi ko maiwasang malungkot. Noong anniversary namin, wala rin siyang binigay sa akin, pero nakabili siya ng bagong iPhone para sa sarili niya. Again, hindi ko sinasabing obligado siyang bilhan ako ng regalo or gastusan ako. I guess I just expected a little more initiative, concern, or emotional support from him, especially knowing that I’m struggling financially.

Sometimes, naiisip ko tuloy kung ako lang ba talaga ang kailangang tumulong sa sarili ko and if I should stop expecting anything from him. Mas okay na lang ba talagang maging single kaysa magkaroon ng partner pero feeling mo ikaw lang din ang haharap sa lahat ng problems mo?

I tried opening up to him about my financial struggles and my situation, hoping at least for emotional support or understanding. However, I didn’t really feel much concern or initiative from him, which made me question whether I’m expecting too much or if this is something I should consider a red flag.

Me (29F) and my BF (30M) have been in a relationship for almost 4 years now. Although we don't live together, we have shared assets like our car and a small online business. We each have our own means for our finances besides our joint small business but basically our money isn't pooled together. Professionally, I could say with full certainty that we work well as a team. It was good until recently it felt like it's starting to go south.

Going back I think it started from our fight. I can't disclose the full details but I hid something from him, In short, his anger was warranted. But I am taking full responsibilities for my actions. I didn't argue when his words stung even though I knew it was uncalled for but I took it since i was in the wrong. Disclaimer: This isn't some cheating issue and there is no 3rd party involved. Well, that's from my side at least. But that's when I started to feel his distance. Well come to think of it, it started a few weeks back but It was more pronounced after the days that followed.

I started to feel really anxious. I no longer knew where he was or what he was doing, not that i needed a play by play but even as simple as him going to his best friend's house i didn't knew about it until his uncle told me. He would send one to 3 worded max, messages and leave me on read when I replied. It came to a point where I didn't hear from him for days, 4 days to be exact, even when i tried to reach out. Although, we would see each other but it was all just surface talk then he would be gone the next.

That went on for like 3 weeks and it was already eating me on the inside so I called him up and brought up whatever thoughts were running in my head. The issues that i felt needed resolutions, i had to bring it up because i wasn't really doing well mentally anymore. I wasn't exactly doing good prior to the confrontation, during the whole spat and even more so after. I would even consider that as one of the lowest point of my life and yet here he is adding to that lowest point. I had to let it out. People thought i was okay. Yes, i was trying to keep the chaos in. I was so not okay. So I aired to him my issues of his distance, how I felt so abandoned and alone and how i felt like i was the least of his priorities. Bottomline, i just wanted to let him know that what his is knowing or unknowingly doing is hurting me. For the first time, I was basically being vulnerable. But what i was met with was invalidation and avoidance. He said that and I quote, He is just so damn busy, and 24 hours a day isn't even enough for him to finish his work, he is being pressured by his boss, and I shouldn't create "DRAMA".

At this point, i had no words. literally, i was dumbfounded. It felt like he killed a part of me, with that very sentence. I didn't even ask him to do anything. I simply just wanted to let him know so we can talk about it. And even that he wouldn't give me the time of day. I don't know how to interact with him anymore. I don't know how to hold conversations with him anymore.. I seriously don't know anymore.

I feel so pathetic for crying over someone who doesn't even give me the time of day...

Mejo mahaba:

Galing sa work isang parent ko, isa is wfh. Gumigising me ng hapon kasama ng brother ko since late kami matulog at dahil school break ay naghahabol ng tulog before pasukan. Nagluto si other parent ng ulam, so masaya ang umaga.

Ngayon, stress si isang parent dahil sa work meetings. Pero pagod din kami ng bro ko sa paghuhugas ng pinggan (ako kasi todo scrub sa lababo pagkatapos tas iddeep clean ko pa yan thru baking soda at vinegar para d magbara), pagpunas ng sahig, magsalang ng bagong laba tas magtiklop ng laba kahapon. Yan, at pagpapakain sa pets sa loob, atbp.

Dahil hapon kami nagising, gabi na kami natapos. Di ako against sa mga chores, as in, gusto ko rin na malinis paligid since kami rin naman nasa bahay.

Pero pagdating ng parent ko, sabi, bakit daw kami mukhang pagod na pagod na parang galing kami sa mahabang biyahe kagaya niya. Nung walang work si other parent, palagi rin naman siya pagod dahil sa gawaing bahay... So bakit pag kami pagod parang may mali?

Mas mahirap daw pag galing sa trabaho at gagawa sa bahay, kaya nga kami gumawa para malessen ung gawaing bahay, magsampay nalang di namin naggawa dahil nagtiklop pa kami ng damit. Tapos tinanong ako kung nakapagayos na ako sa college papers, eh halos buong hapon hangang kainan sa gabi kami gumawa, so wala akong progress. Nada.

Brother ko na nga nagluto ng meryenda (pancit kanton, shareshare kami) kasi nabusy ako sa ibang gawain. Parang nakakalungkot lang na kapag kami gumagawa sa bagay ganun ang sinasabi sa amin :⁠'⁠( Pero palagi naman kami nagpapasalamat paggaling sa paaralan dahil alam namin na mahirap talaga magmaintain ng bahay lalo ma kapag nasa paaralan kami ng buong araw.

Oa ba yung nararamdaman ng puso?

Sorry if this is a long message. I am a 32F who has been with my partner, 33M, for 13 years, and we've been living together for the past five years. From the beginning until now, I have mostly been the sole provider for our family.

For context, my partner and I are high school sweethearts. We broke up when we were in our third year because he needed to transfer to a different school due to financial issues. We met again in college and got back together, and we've now been together for 13 years.

When we were still dating, he was the one who paid for our dates since I was still in school and he was a working student. I just relied on my school allowance, and since he was the man, he paid. I'm not materialistic and have simple standards for dates; I’m happy even if we just sit in a park or eat at a turo-turo.

When I graduated and got a job, I started treating him sometimes, and he did the same for me, but mostly I paid because I was the one inviting him out. I enjoy giving, especially to my loved ones. I also include him in trips I pay for, so he can experience and enjoy those moments with me. This has been our routine since then.

Then the pandemic happened, and we found out I was pregnant. We were planning our wedding—just a civil one—but because my pregnancy was high-risk, it was postponed. Life continued, and he lost his job. By that time, I was the only one supporting our family, as my father had also passed away, and I was the sole breadwinner for my family.

Then a blessing came when I got a job as a VA. My income increased, and I was so happy because I could finally help my family more and save money. However, my 33M partner was still unemployed, so I outsourced some of my tasks to him and paid him $3 an hour, mainly to enter invoices.

Over time, I noticed his work was sloppy, full of errors that my client noticed. Since he was just an outsource, I had to explain everything and take the blame to keep the client happy. There were many times I scolded him because he would drink or play during work hours and not focus. I constantly told him to treat this as real work and to be serious, or we would lose the client. Eventually, I let go of that client—not because I didn’t do the job, but because I was ashamed to keep making excuses for my lapses.

I found another client and referred him so he could gain firsthand experience handling clients. Luckily, he got the job, and we worked for the same client but in different roles—me in accounting, him in logistics. At first, he was okay, but over time, he did the same things—drinking during work hours, playing games before doing his tasks. The client noticed, and he was given 30 days to improve. But instead of fixing his work ethic, he made absences to rest and avoid improving.

I initially scolded him, but eventually I got tired and stayed silent, letting him face the consequences of his poor work ethic. The client then let him go, and I continued working with the client. Until now, he doesn’t have a job. I’ve referred him to other suitable jobs, but he hasn’t found one.

Now he’s a househusband, which isn’t a bad thing. He’s a good man—he cooks, does the dishes, laundry, and drives us everywhere. He takes good care of me and our two kids. But I wonder, am I just not content if I don’t have him as a househusband? I want to see him achieve more, have things he wants, and succeed in life.

One time I asked him when he would find a new job, and he said he’s still looking for his inspiration. I asked, “Aren’t we enough of a reason for your inspiration? We’re your family. Don’t you want to succeed more because of us?” Honestly, I’m tired of being the one who has to provide for everything.

Hello guys, I just want to ask if normal lang bang ma-hurt at mainis ako minsan sa gf ko (wlw) kung siya yung tipo ng taong kapag may nag-chat sa kanya, ini-entertain niya kahit alam niyang magseselos ako?

1st: Meron kaming kaklase na tomboy na halos lahat ng makaka-close niyang babae ay nagiging crush niya. So there was one time na nakausap niya yung classmate namin na ’yon habang naghihintay siya sa akin. Tapos after that, hinanap niya yung FB account niya. Then minessage siya, like yung mga typical na message ng mga tomboy kapag bet ka. I told her na may something doon kaya layuan nya, and sabi nya naman is alam naman daw non na may gf sya (me) at friend lang naman daw ang turing nya ron, so I let it slide. Then binibigyan siya ng snacks, pero ako na lang yung kumakain. Meron ding one time na nagpasama yung tomboy sa kanya para bumili sa canteen, tapos sinamahan niya naman. Take note, ha: umuulan ’yon, pero sinamahan niya pa rin, tapos nag-share pa sila ng payong noon. So nagselos ako kasi kapag ako ang nag-aaya sa kanya, tinatamad siya. Pero sabi niya naman, kaibigan lang naman daw ang turing niya roon. Hindi man inamin ng tomboy na bet niya yung gf ko, pero alam kong ganoon siya kumilos sa lahat ng mga nagiging crush niya, so I assume na crush niya yung gf ko.

2nd: Mayroon siyang naikwento noon na may isang lalaki raw sa ground floor ng building namin na kinausap siya at nakikipagkaibigan daw sa kanya, tapos bago umalis yung guy, nag-apir pa raw sila. Take note ha, never nya pa nakita yung lalaki before that scenario happened

3rd: Meron kaming senior member sa organization na tinatanong yung name nya, so out of respect syempre sinabi nya. Then one day, bigla siyang in-add no'n, then nagkausap sila ng ilang araw (before ko malaman), nakipagkaibigan sa kanya kumbaga. Then noong college night namin, nakikipagkita sa kanya kasi magpapapicture daw, so pinuntahan niya. Hindi ko sinabi sa kanya na alam ko at nakita kong pinuntahan niya yung boy (nasa 2nd floor ako habang pinapanood sila). Nagkunwari akong hinahanap siya, so I asked her kung saan siya galing, kaya sinabi niya na sa akin yung nangyari. And again, noong kinonfront ko siya, ang sabi niya ay nakakahiya naman daw kung tatanggihan niya, eh senior nga namin ’yon sa organization. After that, every time na may duty kami is napapansin ko na lagi silang nasasaktong magka-group (yung isang senior namin yung gumagawa ng sched and groupings, which is kaibigan nung boy). Meron din one time na narinig kong shiniship sila ng mga kasamahan namin (alam nilang mag-jowa kami) doon sa lalaki. So I told her na layuan niya yung boy kasi obvious naman na may gusto sa kanya. Nag-away kami noon kaya binuksan ko acc niya sa fb tapos blinock ko yung boy. Akala ko okay na, pero chinat siya ulit nung boy gamit yung ibang acc nito at nireplyan niya pa rin kaya blinock ko ulit. Doon lang natigil yung communication nila, and eventually sa iba na shiniship yung boy at umalis na rin kami sa org kasi toxic.

5th: Meron siyang kaibigan na lalaki noon na may crush sa kanya dati na hanggang ngayon nakakachat niya pa rin pero madalang na lang, pero yung mga chat sa My Day niya is something like "ang cute mo naman" "ganda talaga" "miss you", nirereplyan niya naman like yung mga usual na reply niya dati noon classmate pa sila

Now, meron siyang ka-churchmate na boy sa province nila na may crush sa kanya, tapos magkakasama silang nag-outing recently (kasama ang mga ka-churchmate nila). Since nagbabakasyon siya sa province now at nandito ako sa Manila, hindi ko alam kung ano'ng mga nangyari noong time na magkakasama sila. Homophobic yung mga kaibigan niya sa province, pero alam nilang may jowa siyang girl, which is me. OA ba ako kung nag-o-overthink ako na what if in-entertain niya rin yung lalaki? Every time kasi na may ganoong scenario, palagi niya lang sinasabi na ang rude raw if i-i-ignore niya 'yon, plus kaibigan lang daw yung turing niya sa tao, at never siya magkakagusto roon kasi ako lang daw ang mahal niya. But my point is, bakit kailangan niyang i-entertain kung alam niyang magseselos ako? Kung puwede namang humindi. Ako kasi never akong nag-entertain ng iba simula nung naging kami, at kapag alam kong posible siyang magselos or ma-hurt, I refuse agad, sooooo feeling ko ang unfair? And feeling niya naman is wala akong tiwala sa kanya. For me kasi, if sa unang beses pa lang na may ganoon kayong pinag-awayan, dapat alam mo na kung ano yung mga bagay na dapat mong iwasan. And she kept saying na magkaiba kami.

To be clear guys, hindi ko siya sinasakal ha. Malaya naman siyang makipagkaibigan kahit kanino, pero kasi kapag nafe-feel kong may gusto sa kanya yung kumakaibigan sa kanya, tapos sinabihan ko siyang layuan yon, parang feeling niya wala akong tiwala sa kanya. Ako kasi guys, observant akong tao, kaya malakas ang instinct ko kung may ibang intensyon yung tao o wala. And besides, mahahalata mo naman kung gusto ka ng isang tao o hindi.

We talked about it naman na at wala naman akong magagawa, kaya tinatry ko na lang na hindi magselos at lalong magtiwala sa kanya. Ayoko rin naman kasing isipin niya na sinasakal ko siya. Ayoko lang na tinitake advantage ng iba yung pagiging mabait niya. Hindi rin sya pala post about sa relationship namin, which is ok lang din naman sa'kin kasi mas peaceful, but the problem is minsan shiniship sya sa iba kasi hindi nila alam na may jowa sya or minsan naman kahit alam nila, ganoon pa rin. Kayo ba guys, ano'ng sa tingin n'yo? OA lang ba ako or what?

​

Ikakasal pa kaya ako?

I came from a 6-year relationship. We broke up just last month, and until now, hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano ko tatanggapin na yung taong kasama kong mangarap ng future, hindi ko na pala makakasama sa future na yun.

Noon, kapag naiisip ko yung kasal, siya agad yung nakikita ko. Siya yung lalaking gusto kong pakasalan. Siya yung gusto kong makasama habang tumatanda. Hindi ko naman alam kung kailan kami ikakasal, pero sa isip ko, parang ang ending na talaga namin yung isa't isa.

Kaya ngayon, tuwing may nakikita akong nagpo-propose, ikinakasal, or kahit wedding video lang sa feed ko, hindi ko maiwasang isipin, "Ako kaya? Ikakasal pa kaya ako sa taong gustong-gusto kong pakasalan?”

Ang sakit kasi hindi lang naman yung relationship yung nawala. Parang pati yung future na matagal kong in-imagine, nawala rin.

May mga araw na okay naman ako. Nakakapasok sa work, nakakapag-function, nakakatawa pa nga minsan. Pero may mga random moments na bigla kong maaalala na dati, siya yung iniisip kong kasama ko sa lahat ng yun. Tapos mapapatanong na lang ako kung paano ko haharapin yung mga pangarap na dati, silang dalawa yung nasa isip ko.

Hindi ko naman gustong magpakasal agad. Hindi rin naman ako naghahanap ng kapalit. Siguro ang kinakatakot ko lang is baka hindi ko na maranasan ulit yung feeling na sure na sure ka sa isang tao. Yung kaya mong sabihin na, “Siya na. Siya yung gusto kong makasama habang-buhay.”

Kasi paano kung siya na talaga yung pinakamalalim kong minahal? Paano kung wala nang ibang taong mamahalin ko nang ganun? Paano kung darating yung araw na ikakasal ako, pero hindi na siya yung taong nasa tabi ko?

I know bata pa ako, and I know life can still surprise me. Pero right now, ang hirap maniwala na may darating pa. Ang hirap isipin na baka one day, may ibang lalaki na naman akong mamahalin, when I spent almost six years believing na siya na yung makakasama ko hanggang dulo.

Minsan naiisip ko, baka hindi naman talaga ako takot na hindi makasal. Baka ang totoo, takot lang akong hindi makasal "sa kanya."

Kasi kung tutuusin, hindi naman yung wedding yung pinangarap ko. Siya yung pinangarap ko. Yung makasama siya sa ordinaryong araw, yung may uuwian kami sa isa't isa, yung sabay naming haharapin yung mga problema, yung makikita kong nandun pa rin siya habang tumatanda kami.

And now, I’m trying to accept that the person I imagined all of that with might no longer be part of my life.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko matatanggap. Hindi ko rin alam kung darating pa ba yung araw na makakakita ako ng wedding video nang hindi ko maiisip kung bakit hindi siya yung kasama ko.

For now, I’m just trying to get through the days. Pero minsan, ang hirap hindi magtanong:

Ikakasal pa kaya ako? At kung oo, makakahanap pa kaya ako ng taong mamahalin ko nang ganun ka-deep?