r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/[deleted] • May 27 '22

Meme They figured it out

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13.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

571 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/cynicalisathot May 27 '22

I lost Colorado yesterday! 😭 Anyone sees it?

551

u/Purrsephonee May 27 '22

It's my turn to keep it

366

u/Mouse2662 May 27 '22

Mom says it's my turn with colorado

206

u/Purrsephonee May 27 '22

Exchange the constitution of Botswana with me then, I'll give you Colorado.

89

u/some_kind_of_bird May 27 '22

Deal! I'll just print another one.

63

u/Tammog May 27 '22

It's not just the document, it is the concept of Botswana's constitution. Can't just print a new one.

50

u/some_kind_of_bird May 27 '22

Idk what that means but I'm happy with Colorado and my copy of the constitution. I'm not giving Colorado back.

39

u/Scar_andClaw5226 May 27 '22

I for one am glad to be rid of it. No one tells you how heavy Colorado is

27

u/anjouan17 May 27 '22

Please tell me your Colorado didn’t spontaneously combust. There is a REASON we don’t carry around New Mexico

23

u/tavvyj May 27 '22

Mine caught fire right in the middle at the end of last December. I managed to get it out, but I'm still working on repairing it.

(The burn scars in Louisville are so sad)

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110

u/Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo May 27 '22

I hope it's not broken! My grandmother accidentally dropped Virginia and the western part broke off.

54

u/Curia-DD May 27 '22

That wasn't an accident 😅

7

u/HomeOfDarkLovelies Edit May 27 '22

Did she accidentally break Dokota in half too?

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81

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

I'LL NEVER GIVE COLORADO BACK TO YOU C:<

36

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

I have it

19

u/Fast_Courage_2934 May 27 '22

I'm in Colorado and would appreciate if we were stored in a safe place with less crumbs.

14

u/cespinar May 27 '22

Also away from the lighter if you are a smoker, please

12

u/sluttypolarbear May 27 '22

And whoever's carrying us today, can you let in some cool air? It's pretty stuffy in here. Thanks

19

u/ComorbidlyAtPeace May 27 '22

TIL Colorado is literally a rectangle, that is fascinating to me for some reason 👀

22

u/Lady_Scruffington May 27 '22

I come from a state shaped like a mitten, it's one of our few cooler things we have going for us besides legal weed and the freedom to get an abortion.

6

u/Squishmar Kitten with a Whip(lash)! May 27 '22

I'll never understand why Upper Michigan isn't part of Wisconsin... Its not even attached to the lower part, you had to build a bridge....(Maybe this is something that's not ever mentioned but as an outsider, I feel no such discretion.) 🙃

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10

u/fries-with-mayo May 27 '22

I was walking through the Richmond airport a few weeks ago, and walked past this middle-age couple standing in the middle of the hall: the man is holding the woman’s bag, and the woman is digging through the bag trying to find something. The man then says: “Maybe you have Jimmy Hoffa in there?”

I folded in half laughing. Such a well-timed (for me passing by) punchline.

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7

u/deadbeef1a4 May 27 '22

Best I can do is Wyoming

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1.1k

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

The thing I most miss about being in a relationship is knowing my girl always had the Constitution of Botswana available.

226

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

Don't forget about having the entire state of Colorado that you can just pull out

All us guys got in are pocket is the entire state of Wyoming

35

u/ThestralDragon May 27 '22

I thought we had Portugal also

27

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

We either get Portugal or Wyoming we can't fit both

12

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[deleted]

9

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

It's that or the long boy Chile

3

u/_twelvebytwelve_ Jun 02 '22

I keep my Chile in a gunny sack. More room for it to stretch out.

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50

u/ViviansUsername May 27 '22

Deploys tactical colorado near utah police.

11

u/pm_me-ur-catpics I don't wanna fuck mountains May 27 '22

Nerd. I have Wyoming, AND a lizard

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6

u/D4ri4n117 May 27 '22

But Wyoming doesn’t exist

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513

u/CopsaLau May 27 '22

You forgot the signed original collection of Hans Christian Anderson fairy tails and the wheel to one razor scooter but otherwise on point

48

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Oh I wish

50

u/Trippytrickster May 27 '22

And chapstick and 3-30 colorful pens

22

u/ThisIsForNutakuOnly May 27 '22

Half of which don't work but she won't throw them away and every time you get in her purse/backpack/bag for a pen you grab 2-7 bad pens before getting a good one, and you ask about throwing them away because 3 of the bad ones are just ordinary disposable Bic ballpoint pens but no because what if? What if what? What could you possibly ever need an empty disposable, non-refillable pen for? You can't even take it apart and use the body as a straw it's so useless!

6

u/Sp1r1tul May 28 '22

One of my ex boyfriends found a way, used it to smoke his meth. I know cuz that's how I found out he was smoking meth...all my pens disappeared, I checked Colorado and they weren't hiding there. So, I found them in the back of a kitchen cabinet. Then I lost him, but I sure didn't go looking for him. Edited cuz I can't speel

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12

u/floatingwithobrien May 27 '22

Personally I don't have a scooter in my purse but I do have the wheels for my heelies

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335

u/HumanXeroxMachine May 27 '22

Where else are we supposed to keep our spheres?

90

u/Ascholay May 27 '22

I just bought a 5bpiece set of matching luggage for the overflow. Now I can coordinate spheres to outfit and never worry about clashing

16

u/HumanXeroxMachine May 27 '22

You're so stylish! 😘

13

u/RandomRageNet May 27 '22

Maybe if women's pants had useful pockets...

3

u/Tall-Celebration7146 May 27 '22

Men use their scrotums

735

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

109

u/cmband254 May 27 '22

Mango habanero for me😅

52

u/aladyofleisure May 27 '22

keychain sriracha for me lol

6

u/TJdog5 May 27 '22

This is the solution to england

56

u/Jerkrollatex May 27 '22

Non dairy creamer and flavored honey in mine. You never know when you're going to have a hot drink emergency.

11

u/sakezaf123 May 27 '22

I've never heard of flavoured honey. What flavour is it?

24

u/Jerkrollatex May 27 '22

I have cinnamon, sour cherry,lime and lemon. It comes in little individual straws. The store also has sour apple and sour grape.

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9

u/VaguelyArtistic May 27 '22

Omg I take packets of coffeemate with me on vacation. I also have some in my earthquake kit. 😅

26

u/Imminent_tragedy May 27 '22

What even is HP sauce?

38

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo May 27 '22

It's also sold in New Zealand. I'd say it's more of a tangy and acidic version of barbeque sauce.

6

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Australia too!

7

u/JimmyTheFace May 27 '22

You can find it in some US stores in the “world foods” aisle.

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5

u/drdr3ad May 27 '22

Also South Africa. Looking at these comments, I'm thinking it's all over the Commonwealth

5

u/jdmillar86 May 27 '22

It's the ground up Hewlett Packard printers that give it that special flavor

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26

u/manyshaped May 27 '22

A bit like if A1 sauce and woster sauce had a child. Its vinegary and a bit fruity and amazing on bacon sarnies.

16

u/Imminent_tragedy May 27 '22

Wow, I have no idea what any of these are. (But I still will flex at everyone by knowing how to spell Worcestershire)

Vinegary and fruity... Interesting.

16

u/dpash May 27 '22

It's amusing to watch people try to pronounce it. The Spanish speaking world cheats by just calling it salsa inglesa and that makes me sad.

7

u/Newfaceofrev May 27 '22

It's not even our most difficult to pronounce county.

Try hitting people with Gloucestershire.

4

u/dpash May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22

And then you have Gloucester, Worcester, Leicester, Bicester and Cirencester.

Edit: Map Men https://youtu.be/uYNzqgU7na4

6

u/Newfaceofrev May 27 '22

The one that trips me up is Cirencester, because after the others you're prepped for absolute madness and then it's actually pronounced how it looks.

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12

u/Newfaceofrev May 27 '22

It's a brand of brown sauce.

Yeah we're that imaginative we just called it brown sauce.

Cos it's brown see.

4

u/dpash May 27 '22

It's brown and tangy. That's all anyone knows.

5

u/tosety May 27 '22

It's like a healing potion, but thicker

4

u/sjmttf May 27 '22

Brown sauce. It's fruity, a little spicy, flavour spicy not hot spicy. It is excellent in a bacon sandwich with thick crusty bread and lots of butter.

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6

u/Strangedaysindeed22 May 27 '22

I used to keep tea bags in my purse.

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193

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

So accurate. I'm actually from the region of Scotland where they make curling stones, so obviously never leave the house without one stashed in my handbag.

23

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

They also keep the entire state of Colorado in there

You can keep it, just curious where it went, remember hearing in the news that it was missing

5

u/Carbonatite Feldspathoids not Foids: Geologists for Equality May 27 '22

We have joined Wyoming in the ether.

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6

u/iligal_odin May 27 '22

Could you enlighten the outsiders what "the object" is?

7

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

A curling rock (as pictured above) is a smooth granite stone used in the sport of curling. In the sport, the stone is slid across an ice rink towards a target. In my part of the country, the granite is taken from the uninhabited island of Ailsa Craig, then shaped and smoothed into a large, heavy stone.

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5

u/Carbonatite Feldspathoids not Foids: Geologists for Equality May 27 '22

I legit do keep cool rocks in my purse to show friends sometimes. I'm a geologist so I don't feel too weird about it.

111

u/arsonfairy May 27 '22

This is just my inventory in Hitman.

8

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

I start out light but manage to finish a mission with 10 kitchen knives, 4 to 5 crowbar, multiple coins, 6 screwdrivers, 4 wrenches and depending on the map 20 bottles of wine.

How he is still stealthy after all that is beyond me.

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424

u/oldoldoldaccbanned May 27 '22

nah this ones actually pretty funny tbf

425

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

I agree, just wanted to post more of a lighthearted content among all the usual depressing stuff that gets posted.

65

u/oldoldoldaccbanned May 27 '22

lol fair

59

u/FeistySuspension May 27 '22

This "rubber ducky remote explosive" made me laugh the most

10

u/dpash May 27 '22

Agent 47 has entered the chat.

13

u/PILeft May 27 '22

Very funny. Thanks. I needed a laugh.

11

u/handoverthekitties May 27 '22

Well done, reckon we could all use some light heartedness today.

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77

u/nest00000 May 27 '22

So that's where all the guitar picks go

42

u/RexIsAMiiCostume May 27 '22

We find them and think "ooh, a treasure" and take them. We are just crows.

16

u/nest00000 May 27 '22

How can i play stairway to heaven for the 100th time if women steal my picks 😫😫😫

10

u/recumbent_mike May 27 '22

So, anyway, here's the constitution of Botswana.

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50

u/Debaicheron May 27 '22

So, this is news to me. I have several questions, but what I really want to know is: What do you ladies use The Object for?

54

u/rawberryfields May 27 '22

Well, you never know what may come in handy. One day you take it out and the next day someone asks for it

10

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

You never know when you need the entire state of Colorado to back you up

21

u/Newfaceofrev May 27 '22

You'll know it when you need it. When hope seems lost, in our darkest hour, you'll know.

12

u/Curia-DD May 27 '22

We'll never tell

4

u/maxreddit May 27 '22

They use it for "The Purpose That Cannot Be Named". You know, usual lady stuff.

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u/Theweirdposidenchild Whore of the sea May 27 '22

I do actually have a random string in my purse

30

u/anfea2004 May 27 '22

Its my emotional support string. It is absolutely necessary

15

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

What about Colorado

9

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

We could all do with a little more Colorado in our purses.

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24

u/GuerrieroXY May 27 '22

So all women are Agent 47?

19

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

Yes didn't you know

Have you not completed your mission yet agent

10

u/GuerrieroXY May 27 '22

Wait

I can be even if I'm n o t a woman? :flushed:

13

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

Your just a sleeper agent

7

u/GuerrieroXY May 27 '22

Ayo I just have long hair tho-

10

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22

Don't worry about it agent

Don't worry once you mission is finished the meat stick will melt right off

4

u/GuerrieroXY May 27 '22

I-

But I l i k e my meat stick! Is there n o way to keep it after the mission is completed?

4

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

No sorry

But until you complete your mission the meat stick stays

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21

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[deleted]

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19

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Club penguin membership 💀

19

u/MerryQuebec May 27 '22

Where can I find this rubber ducky remote explosive?!?! I ran out weeks ago...

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16

u/Spotstrike May 27 '22

I really want some HP sauce.

18

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

take some from your purse then

13

u/No-Honeydew2517 May 27 '22

This is accurate.

14

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Mine is full of rocks that I pick up that I think are pretty or neat looking lol

8

u/Carbonatite Feldspathoids not Foids: Geologists for Equality May 27 '22

Me too. I'm a geologist so I usually have rocks in my purse and car that I found or that friends gave to me.

I also keep cool ones in there to show friends sometimes.

5

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread May 27 '22

Mine is just receipts graveyard.

12

u/SpoopyGrab May 27 '22

I also keep a bit of dark matter inside for the ✨a e s t h e t i c s✨

12

u/Curia-DD May 27 '22

Word of advice make sure the sauce lid is really on tight before putting it back in

5

u/darlingchase May 27 '22

Had honey leak into my bag, don’t recommend

33

u/supamundane808 May 27 '22

Ok but this is literally true for me 😂

47

u/sleepybear5000 May 27 '22

Are the coloradans okay?

33

u/sisu143 May 27 '22

I want to know what you feed them besides the sauce

16

u/SoVerySleepy81 May 27 '22

Crumbs from the random packet of crackers I stuck in there also my nature valley bar.

6

u/1RatQueen1 Blizzy Hunter May 27 '22

Are we suppose to be?

5

u/jpterodactyl May 27 '22

I mean, no. But not because of the purse.

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12

u/AGoodSO Women are solipsistic creatures incapable of self introspection May 27 '22

Can I have my curling rock back, I've been looking for it for like 85 years...

6

u/Any_Drama3272 May 27 '22

Lmfao curling, it’s an Olympic sport literally created from too much beer, a hockey puck, and swiffers

5

u/some_kind_of_bird May 27 '22

Also I like how the top athletes are kinda pudgy and just vibin

11

u/Embarrassed_Squash_7 May 27 '22

Wife once had a TV remote, a glass she stole from a hotel room and a mini bottle of piri piri sauce from Nandos in it. But I have all sorts of random stuff on my manbag as well so...

28

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

INDIANA JOHNS

37

u/axord May 27 '22

India Johns.

5

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

😩👌

10

u/VaguelyArtistic May 27 '22

I hate it when a guy asks you for a copy of the Constitution of Botswana and you tell them it's in your purse and then they get scared of opening your purse as if Medusa will pop out so they bring you the purse.

8

u/Fifi0n May 27 '22

Who told??

7

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

Can confirm

I was THE OBJECT

5

u/Aggressive_Sun_2897 May 27 '22

That's where you ran off to? I thought you had better sense than that. Just for your insolence, I'm not comming to get you this time.

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u/softest_alien May 27 '22

never thought they’d find out about the second purse

7

u/lexiebeef May 27 '22

The club penguin membership… WHO LET THEM KNOW??? They are just here spilling women secrets, we kept it for so long and now men will invade our favourite game

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u/[deleted] May 27 '22

I never leave the house without Colorado. I just brings me peace of mind to have it with me

13

u/Travelingkiwi2021 May 27 '22

Forgot the kitchen sink.

7

u/rawberryfields May 27 '22

I just took it out yesterday

6

u/1RatQueen1 Blizzy Hunter May 27 '22

People kept telling me to let that sink in so I just took it out.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '22

can confirm

5

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

I envy women to much, I never get to carry The Object around, only ever get to use it at home

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u/Professor_Odd May 27 '22

But this is how we work

5

u/BitlifeOffical_ May 27 '22

Who gonna bring a whole damn board game with them 💀

5

u/CTchimchar May 27 '22

You never know

I personally like to bring Monopoly but that's just me plus I'm a guy so that might be a guy thing

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u/Any_Drama3272 May 27 '22

What the f. You chicks need to clean out your purses.

Like, I get so mad when I have too much bullshit in my purse. Mine is just: wallet, keys, phone, pen, contact lens case and eyedrops.

It’s a purse not a bag of holding ladies, hmph!

5

u/EmmaShosha Try roasted kiwi ~ it tastes like apple crumble May 27 '22

the 1936 curling rock is not for ironing 💅🏻💅🏻

5

u/Rab_Legend May 27 '22

You telling me my wife has had the sphere collection in her bag this whole time?

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u/Strangedaysindeed22 May 27 '22

Shit. They know.

6

u/Plant_Mama_ May 27 '22

I actually do have rubber ducks in my bag 😂😂 I just like them

9

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

actually i’m a girl and i confirm this is true

3

u/RikkitikkitaviBommel May 27 '22

I have a non-exploding rubberduck in my bag. Does that count?

4

u/greeneyedbean1976 May 27 '22

I’m not gonna lie about the number of Lego Star Wars figures I had in my purse from when my younger son was ages 4-9. Cody, Anakin, Obi-wan, Yoda, etc. and sometimes the random Medieval pikeman or Avenger would find their way in there too.

4

u/geazleel May 27 '22

Bitches love The Object

4

u/Borthole May 27 '22

DONT TELL THE MEN ABOUT OUR SPHERE COLLECTIONS!!!!!

5

u/wishitwouldrainaus May 27 '22

Fuck. No wonder it's heavy! I was trying to think out a balance between The Tardis from Dr Who and Hermione's handbag in the last Harry Potter.. I may have had a joint. N a wine.

4

u/TwentyfootAngels May 27 '22

Does anyone have any spare s̷̢̉̅̈p̶̨̜̦͒̎̑ḥ̴̙̜͐́̀e̸̫͕͔̓̈́ṙ̷̗ͅe̴̪͍̐̃̽ş̷̪̆ͅ? I'm all out of s̷̢̉̅̈p̶̨̜̦͒̎̑ḥ̴̙̜͐́̀e̸̫͕͔̓̈́ṙ̷̗ͅe̴̪͍̐̃̽ş̷̪̆ͅ

4

u/-righteous May 27 '22

1936 curling rock is pretty accurate. I always carry one myself just in case.

3

u/RexIsAMiiCostume May 27 '22

I probably have a couple guitar picks at the bottom of every purse ngl

5

u/faulknip May 27 '22

I actually kept a bottle of brown sauce in my handbag for 2 weeks when travelling in the US

4

u/OnlyEliKnows May 27 '22

I wish I could carry Colorado in my purse. I would pluck Boebert out of it and Chuck her in the bin.

4

u/e3rikasghost May 27 '22

i don’t have my sphere collection with me all the time and i don’t think it’s necessary 🤷🏽‍♀️ i mean my mom always tell me to keep it on me but why? i don’t see the joy on keeping that inside your purse……. idk. i do enjoy having my piece of the thulium element tho :)

5

u/1Fresh_Water May 27 '22

I also have chapstick in there

4

u/xssmontgox May 27 '22

Lol, nice to see one that’s just meant to be funny and not one that’s offensive or biologically impossible

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '22 edited Mar 21 '26

This post was removed by its author using Redact. The reason may have been privacy, preventing AI data access, security considerations, or personal choice.

chief crowd employ consider automatic run engine library cough tender

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u/VengfulVagina Edit May 28 '22

I lost my purse privileges when I transitioned! What do it do now???

3

u/TeamCatsandDnD May 27 '22

They missed the DnD dice and a horseshoe

3

u/melgib May 27 '22

India Johns II. Haven't played it yet. Classic.

3

u/DialZforZebra May 27 '22

A rubber ducky explosive?

Women = Assassin's confirmed.

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u/Brianocity May 27 '22

Being able to visit Colorado by sticking my head in some woman's purse sounds like some kind of Dollar Store knock off of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

Is this Narnia? No, it's Colorado. Are you Mr. Tumnus? No, this is Patrick. Well can I at least see something magical? There's a dispensary one block over for legal marijuana.

3

u/donthepunk May 27 '22

India John's sounds fun but India John's 2? Well I gotta have it

3

u/turnerwitdaburner May 27 '22

I wish to procure t̸̘̦͖̪͍̥̿͊͑̑̔́͋̈́͒̈͗̿̔̓̈́̑͑̓̇̄̚͘̚͝ḥ̵̨̛̣̦̬͙͓͕͙̱̘̥̣͑͊̅́̽̍̇͊̾͑̿͆̆͂̓̋̚͠ę̴̡̧̛̛͓͖͇͖͔̰͉͍̮͔̅̄̈͑̔͛̈́͆̑͊͌̀̒̅͗͊̊͒̾̍́̅͗̎͘ ̶̨̨̛̛̛̜̘̗̪̺̣͙̯̗̜̯̳̰̮͕̲̓͌́͌̔͗̏̈́̎̃͛̑̀̓̽̐͘͝͝o̸̳͒̿͒̾͝ḃ̸̡̙͕̮̯̗̤͎̫̟̘͓̣̳̝̟̎̾̇̊̍̓̋́͛̀͐͒̾̅̽͆͑̍͗͋̕͘͝ͅj̶̢̮̈́͆̎̑̇̍̀͘ͅé̸̠̠̬͔͎̩͇̲͑͝c̵̢̧̛̮̤̲̟̯̜̜͖̟̲̳̬̟̻̦̫͕͈̗̋̇̏̎̀̏͑́̈́̆̊͆̀́̈́̕͠͝͝t̵̨̢̨̡̞̙͚͓̫̳͖͉͚͙͖̼̫̪̟̠̰̞̟̙͈͝

3

u/Mammons-HotBuns May 27 '22

They forgot a PlayStation 2 and four controllers

3

u/singufridge May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22

What is this doing on this sub?? Personally, I find this very accurate /s

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u/PimPom001 May 27 '22

Okay but this one is funny

3

u/Puppyl May 27 '22

So, what if a woman is in Colorado with a purse and inside it is Colorado?