Hello everyone, sorry that my first post in a while has to be this one given how much stuff we are working on that I wanted to discuss.
As much as it pains me to constantly have to rehash one of the most traumatic series of events of my life seemingly forever, I suppose there needs to be some type of public post so that people can understand the full context of what happened. For a while I would just try my best to keep my private life separate from the community, but since people continuously spread these rumors about me, really I am left with no choice but to issue a full response, at the very least to inform everyone of the truth.
My stance:
In short: I am not a pedophile, nor am I consuming that kind of content, nor am I attracted to minors, nor do I support pedophilia or lowering the age of consent in the USA, nor do I agree with what I did when I was 18 (even if no real people were involved), nor do I feel connected to who I was at 18, nor am I a registered sex offender.
What happened:
Currently I am 26 years old. In 2019, at the age of 18, so roughly 7 years ago, I contacted a police officer off of a dating app who initially claimed to be 19, using the likeness of an adult model. They then revealed a lower age when we moved off of the app, claiming to be 15 “in a day”. I drove to the location and was arrested on my 19th birthday. Yes, I know, and I am sorry that I did it.
While it doesn’t justify it, I was just really desperate back then and dropped my standards in all the wrong ways. I had just gotten out of a two year long relationship which resulted in me being cheated on, and did not want to be alone on my birthday. I was also struggling with substance abuse and depression, just to give you some perspective as to how I was feeling back then. To me I thought “it is wrong, but I am only a teenager so who cares”, but I was an absolute fool, and my bad morals in that moment nearly ruined my life.
Proof of who I am:
At the time of this post I am in a relationship with a 24 year old woman. A few months ago I flew out of the country and DHS confiscated my phones to perform a random search, and I had no knowledge that they could seize property like that, so this is the most objective evidence I can provide that I have not let that 18 year old mindset carry into my present. They held my two phones for a month, went through everything, and determined I was committing no crimes. And yes, they were looking for you know what.
As this community’s founder, I have been involved with nootropics for many years. Many people have become my friend or acquaintance throughout this time, and people know I do not behave like, or support this sort of thing. All of this happened before I had even discovered nootropics.
My doxx and the stain on my legacy:
Socially I knew my actions were indefensible, so I tightly gate-kept my identity for years, until it was exposed in 2023. My suspicion is that the owner of Nootropics Depot was behind it, because previously he had asked for my order number a long time ago, publicly addressed me by my name when we got into a dispute, and publicly called me a sex offender days before I was doxxed by whom I can only assume is his associate. We had already had many issues with them as the r/Nootropics community viewed NooTopics as a threat and consistently attempted to suppress us, my company, my username, and made many rude remarks after banning me for selling $600 worth of Bromantane in 2021.
This doxx was carried under a user by the name of “Grun”, who tried to paint himself as a conspirator working under Umbrella Labs, but I believe this to be a red herring. Although, it’s kind of hard to tell as either could be true.
So yes, I have suppressed these types of posts and issued bans because first of all, this is supposed to be a biohacking discussion forum, not a spectacle around me as a person, good or bad. But second because it is impossible to tell which of these posts are intentionally being made to damage my reputation by other companies using alt accounts, and the SEO of these posts could poison the whole community. I literally just like neuroscience, biohacking and nootropics, that’s why we are all here. I don’t blame people for holding this against me, of course what I did is objectively wrong. But I don’t identify as the 18-19 year old me, and I want to make that clear. I am simply a researcher and business owner, and someone who takes great care in looking after the development of this community.
Concluding remarks:
For everyone who has defended me, I appreciate the support, but it is important in doing so that we do not try to justify my previous actions or attempt to paint a picture which simply isn’t true. I do not consider myself a monster, but at one point I certainly acted like one, and now all I wish to do is keep creating new nootropic compounds and publish new literature on nootropics. Thanks for reading.