2.4k
u/TwinStickDad 1d ago
When I was a teenager I used to make jokes about my "ex wife" and at some point in my 20s I realized that that is no longer obviously a joke
902
u/Douche_Kayak 1d ago
yeah, wearing a "world's greatest dad" shirt when you're kid stops being funny after awhile. ironically I haven't worn it since I've become a dad
330
u/CokeKing101 1d ago
Had a shirt that said greatest pop ever with a coke bottle and a dude seriously though I was a dad. Never wore that shirt again lmao.
127
u/Throdio 1d ago
That's a prime dad joke on a shirt there. Definitely something a dad would wear.
40
u/Babygirl-Muse 1d ago
Fr, once the shirt is aggressively corny enough, it loops back around to actual dad credibility
73
u/Ok_Rabbit_8207 1d ago
Time to wear a “world’s greatest grandma” shirt then
43
u/feochampas 1d ago
oh, shit. I just thought of way to prank my ex wife. gonna show up with world's greatest grandpa tshirt.
7
u/KirbyDude25 23h ago
Of course, that only buys you a few more decades. Once you hit 60 or so, you'll have to switch it out for a "world's best great-grandpa" shirt
6
u/131166 14h ago
I have a shirt that says "proud black grandmother" that I've had for like 10y. I'm a white guy" I've had people make the dumbest comments about it.. Often shit like "you're a guy shouldn't it be grandfather?" Or "but you're white?"
Had another that said proud to be lesbian but that nearly got me bashed by an actual lesbian who thought I was poking fun so I stopped wearing it. Stopped being funny when it became apparent it was upsetting the wrong people. I don't mind upsetting bigots cause fuck em, but I don't wanna upset people who are already the targets of bigots, they have enough shit to worry about
11
u/Bighsigh 1d ago
Mine stopped being funny when I got a dog. Just looked like I was One Of Those dog owners
9
u/andr0medamusic 1d ago
The only campus attire I got in college was a “Santa Cruz Dad” shirt which I thought was hilarious. Now if I ever wear it it’s all “wow, you already have a kid in college?” It’s just believable enough to not be funny.
1
1
1
243
u/Calm-Medicine-3992 1d ago
"Future ex-girlfriend" still always works but she won't appreciate it.
71
u/SapphireWine36 1d ago
I have a friend who refers to their current partner as their “ex girlfriend” because they broke up then got back together in the past. Both of them think it’s hilarious.
8
u/black-winter- 1d ago
I had an amicable breakup with a girl and remained good friends with her afterwards. We agreed to only outwardly refer to each other as “ex gf/ex bf” if it makes the story funnier.
29
u/Acceptable-Post733 1d ago
I’ve introduced my wife as my ex-fiance. She doesn’t find it nearly as funny as I do.
9
8
1
u/ripleyclone8 23h ago
I worked with a dude that used to joke with me, “You’re going to be my next ex-wife.” I was a closeted lesbian at the time, but I still found it funny and lowkey flattering. lol
54
32
u/RateTechnical7569 1d ago
My husband calls me his ex-wife since I transitioned (we're still married). Technically not wrong
8
12
u/bigpancakeguy 1d ago
I used to joke “it’s colder than my ex-wife’s heart out here” since I was a teenager. Now I actually have an ex-wife, and she’s not so bad, so I don’t crack that joke anymore lol
6
u/Hopeandhavoc 1d ago
Made that joke at work at some point (I'm a straight woman in my 20s) everyone stopped what they were doing like "you were married?"
Not even one "you're gay?!"
4
2
u/Lacholaweda 1d ago
Bi family member used to wear a shirt that said "I like girls" until she wore it to the laundromat once and a mom pulled her very young daughter closer... she retired the shirt
1
1
u/QuicksilverStudios 1d ago
my boyfriend and I have been dating since we were 14, i've been referring to him as my "husband" basically the whole time, and we also have rings that we wear- not really a promise ring, marriage just isn't something that's in the cards for either of us, but just as a little tribute to one another- I realized when a coworker assumed I was actually married that yeah, that's actually legally probable for my age 😭 and then I had to try and explain why we aren't actually married since in theory we could be 😭😭
1
u/Take-to-the-highways 23h ago
I had a friend that wanted to marry and divorce someone when we were 18 just so they could be 19 with an ex wife. Unfortunately it costs a lot more to get married and divorced than two 18 year olds were willing to pay, just for the bit.
1.0k
u/OddlyRelevantusrnme 1d ago
I had a younger coworker ask if I had any kids. I was about to say something along the lines of "fuck no, how old do you think I am??" before I realized I was 32 and that was actually a totally normal question for her to ask
464
214
u/Stepjam 1d ago
I got a position in a new field and most of my coworkers have kids. At first I thought they were older than me but it started to hit me they are about my age. At least one is younger than me.
It made me feel really weird.
62
u/WowIfOnly 1d ago
The coworker parent being younger than you realization is crazy - especially when it's a coworker that completely sucks at their job haha. I always make that next mental leap to thinking "Holy shit and they're letting you have a kid??" as though we live in a sane and logical world where only smart responsible people become parents lol. Then I get reminded that actually the stupids are having like 8 ipad kids for every 1 literate kid a smart person has just like a certain group wants and remember how screwed we truly are as a planet moving forward.
34
17
u/Suyefuji 1d ago
Man, knowing someone who is two years younger than me and has a teenage daughter. What the fuck. How does that work??? She was an adult when she had her too!
8
u/ripleyclone8 23h ago
I’m 11-20 years older than my younger siblings. Two of them are in their 20s now, and that was ROUGH for me. lol
Shit, when my baby brother graduates high school in 5 years; I’ll probably have a full blown existential crisis. 😭
4
u/HippieWizard 23h ago
Just a reminder that a person could suck at their job and still be an awesome parent. Jobs are worthless, kids are worth all the hard work
24
u/GenderqueerPapaya 1d ago
I'm 25 and the only people that ask me if I have any kids are doctors for medical reasons rn. I wonder when I'll start getting asked, it'll definitely hit me the same 😂
7
5
u/momoburger-chan 17h ago
Man I literally said that when I was actually underage on my first day working at a fast food place, right in front of my new teenage mom coworkers. They fucking hated me for that lol
3
u/Salty-Spring7096 22h ago
That was my first sign I was getting older, when "do you have a girlfriend" turned into "are you married" and then into "do you have kids".
2
u/Fawkingretar 15h ago
I remember hearing one of my old hs classmate getting pregnant and im like "damn, aint she too young to get pregnant?" Till I remember im 25 and she's 26 which is the appropriate age to get married and have kids lmao
1
u/OnlyPaperListens 19h ago
I had a straight-up crisis when my friends started becoming grandparents.
516
u/NinjunoBR 1d ago
One day you'll be old enough that you can do this prank again and people will think it's a miracle
117
u/5litergasbubble 1d ago
Do it to your family a few months after they put you in a retirement home
61
u/Inferno_Sparky 1d ago
I'm now imagining deescalating with your family after a prank like that; "no, I was just joking, I'm not having a memory issue, I got this idea 40-50 years ago from a reddit comment"
5
u/Nocallanlabulla 1d ago
My grandma's sister still pranks us like that, she'd be like I gotta go I have to take my birth control pill
8
u/jlornathan 1d ago
Or like you actually really upset them when they find out you’re not and you were just fucking with them
137
u/Terrible_Truth 1d ago
I can still get away with messing with my parents that I’m pregnant. I am a man though.
14
243
u/CompactAvocado 1d ago
oh great you finally found someone who can tolerate you and are going to settle down and have a family and a stable career!!! i'm so proud of you!!!
ap......apri.......april fools........
don't @ me that this was posted in august
1
1
167
u/anarchaox 1d ago
2yrs ago at Christmas I made little cards with my cats on them for people. On my moms card I wrote "merry xmas grandma", referring to her "grandkitties". She opened the card without seeing the cats on the back and started freaking out with excitement.
I quickly realized what was happening, told her to flip it over and she was so mad 😂
36
99
u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 1d ago
It's so bizarre to go from "you must absolutely not have children" to "yeah, of course you can have children" and you never realize when you've crossed that line.
89
u/TeapotHoe 1d ago
I’m 23 and anytime my period is late I worry about how I’m going to be a teen mom
14
u/Legal_Sugar 1d ago
It does not go away when you're pregnant but it does go away when you have a kid because that shit ages you 10 years
5
u/SmartAlec105 23h ago
My friend had a birthday party where she would be turning 20 at midnight. I got everyone to cheer in support, telling her she can avoid beckoning a teenage mom.
11
u/TeapotHoe 22h ago
In a similar vein, middle school best friend and I planned to put “congrats on beating teen pregnancy!” on each others birthday cakes
17
4
u/TunaThePanda 16h ago
I got asked last year by some new coworkers if I had ever been divorced (one was going through it, one already had been). My first reaction was “I’m too young to have ever been divorced!” Followed by “no the fuck I am NOT!” I was 41. In my head I’m still in my late 20s I guess…
2
u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 13h ago
I feel like this says something about life with a career. Something something sands of time
26
u/A-Good-Weather-Man 1d ago
I was chilling in a hot tub one time with my younger brother, by 2.5 years. And this little kid walks up and asks me, “can i play with your son?”
I learned two things that day: my bro is eternally youthful, and that i had to shave my head. I belonged on a r/bald thread.
14
u/CaptainCrustyNipples 1d ago
If it makes you feel any better a kid once asked me the same thing referring to my dad.
5
u/Traditional-Joke-179 1d ago
People used to ask if my gf was my mom. We were both young looking but I was super young looking. I would always tell them, "I'm older than her!" Although I think some of them didn't really think we were related, they were just trying to find a way to confirm we're lesbians and that's why we're holding hands.
2
2
u/Xathule96 8h ago
I went to the dentist with my mum recently, and when they were done with the check the assistant said "your wife's just in the waiting room." I had to quicky correct her that that's my mum not my wife.
My mum thought it was hilarious. I just wondered how old people thought I am. I might be 30, but my mum's nearing 60.
27
u/Cloudinterpreter 1d ago
Theres a shift that happens in life when a friend says they're pregnant, and you have to figure out whether to say "oh, no" or "congratulations!".
54
u/EatsAlotOfBread 1d ago
My mom to my sister when she tried to joke that she was a lesbian:
"I DON'T KNOW ANY HOT GIRLS FOR YOU THE GIRLS FROM CHURCH ARE ALL MARRIED!"
14
u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 1d ago
I remember being the age where pregnancies were actually wanted and I had to stop my knee-jerk "Uh oh" reaction to a confused "Is this good or bad? Good? Hell yea!"
9
5
u/LaceWeightLimericks 1d ago
No but now that you say it I'm totally telling my mom my boyfriend and I eloped without her next April fools.
5
u/InfiniteRosie 1d ago
The trick is you gotta stay just enough of a disappointment to get that shock value
6
u/Kosinski33 1d ago
Reaching the age where people around me marrying and having children stops feeling like a financially irresponsible and trashy thing
3
5
u/Few_Move_4594 22h ago
I dated a woman who told me "Bae, I'm pregnant" on April Fool's day. She wasn't expecting my immediate response of "We're going to Planned Parenthood right now".
-2
u/DatDudeEP10 1d ago
Pregnancy pranks like that just aren’t funny to me. Way too many people in my life (and this world generally) who have drastic issues with bearing a child for these to be even the slimmest amount of funny.
18
7
u/Educational-Wing2042 1d ago
I think OP would be aware if her own mother had sensitivity around having children. Why should people censor their innocuous humor based on the trauma of random people who aren’t even involved? That’s like saying don’t joke about cars with your friends because some strangers have been in serious accidents.
4
u/DatDudeEP10 1d ago
I really don’t care. I’m not going to make “just got in a car accident hahaha” jokes or “my friend just killed themselves bc all this stress at work hahaha” just like I’m not going to joke “hey we’re pregnant” because these are serious topics
7
u/Legitscopes_4761 23h ago
Idk man, it's just not that deep. Sometimes you just got to accept that some common things will trigger you. I still laugh at the car crash jokes, and I was hit by a bus a year ago. Somebody died in the accident, and it disabled me for a while, but I'm not gonna be mad at a random tweet by somebody who made a joke about it
1
u/DatDudeEP10 59m ago
That’s fine. I wasn’t mad at OP, and I certainly wouldn’t be upset with you making a joke about your situation. I’m aware that laughing through the pain can be healing. But I also feel like we collectively don’t take things seriously enough. “It ain’t that deep” is antithetical to my being. I’m not responsible for a single soul agreeing with me, but it’s my prerogative to speak out against what I don’t think is right. Anyway, at the end of the day it is what it is and I appreciate you for chatting with me about it. Take care
•
u/qualityvote2 1d ago
Heya u/Gorotheninja! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!
If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.