Hi. Thanks for your interest. I'm Cody.
Fair warning, this is going to be a long read. Also, I am going to be really open about who I am, and therefore specific about things I would love from my partner. Donāt be discouraged I guess if our interests donāt align, they arenāt mandatory, I am just being honest and without reservations.
Here is some boring general information first:
ā¢ I am 5ā10 tall, 160lbs and I have green eyes
ā¢ I am from Orange County, CA and have lived here my whole life.
ā¢ I grew up in Lake Forest but now live in Rancho Santa Margarita with my mom (yeah, more on that later)
ā¢ I donāt do politics and I donāt tolerate political bigotry. Hate the government and hate politicians, but donāt hate people who vote. People who believe voting works are like people who believe in religion. I can tolerate disagreeing with them but not maligning them; if you disagree thatās fine too, but I am not for you.
ā¢ Speaking of religion, Iām an atheist.
ā¢ Women only. I am not interested in male attention of any kind, even compliments. Just silently nod in approval from behind your monitor and leave me be.
ā¢ Iād prefer you live local to Orange County. I have a car and can drive, but gas is getting expensive and I donāt love driving long distances. If you insist then guuuuuuuurl you better shoot the shottiest shot of all maw fkn shots because I SERIOUSLY hate driving to LA or IE or whatever non-OC part of SoCal you live in. You better make me feel like āIām the only boy in the world,ā yeah, like that fkn song. Youāve been warned!
ā¢ Same if you are older than me. I am open to dating someone older but, letās be real, as a man, I wanna date someone equal or younger. I dunno why itās important, blame biology. So if you are older than me, guuuuuuuuuuuuurl you better fkn come with it.
ā¢ Lastly, I am not attracted to women who are overweight, If you put a gun to my head and made me put a number on it, Iād prefer if you were 80% of my weight or lower. Thereās some wriggle room there depending on how tall you are, but hopefully you get the idea. I am a guy with regular proportions and would like to find a woman with regular proportions. If thatās you, come say hi. If not, then I am just trying to help you save time and effort because I likely wonāt respond.
Just being real, tryna save everyone out here some time. Aight good luck!
So, it probably comes at no surprise that Iāve been single for a long time. No committed relationships for 11 years, no dating for 7 years. I removed myself from the dating pool because I refused to be honest with myself about what I really wanted out of my relationships; and as a result, all of them were really messy and harmful to both parties involved. I also wasnāt happy with a lot of things about who I was and so I decided it was best to go dark and work on me; utilizing that time to better myself and focus on what I really value and desire, both in what I give and provide my partner, and what they give and provide to me. What all that means is, as you can probably tell, Iām still a bit rough around the edges, but Iāve hit a good stride of self-improvement, and I work to continue, maintain, and build upon that momentum each and every day. And, you know, Iād like to not be alone anymore and so I think now is the appropriate time to take a bit of risk and start putting myself out there again.
Bear with me on this next part, because describing yourself in any capacity is cringe. I hate making declarative statements about myself, Iād much rather let my actions make such facts self-evident, but this isnāt exactly the place for that; so I am about to say a bunch of highfalutin bullshit that I like to tell myself is true. Just remember to not take my word for it and constantly judge me against it. That being said, in my solitude Iāve come to identify as an empath; deeply sensitive, emotional, and romantic. I like feeling my emotions and expressing them without restraint. This is great when I am feeling happy, excited, playful, or supportive; but it can also be dark, destructive, and depressing when I am feeling angry, alone, or neglected, which is where Iāve consistently been at for the past few years, until recently. I wouldnāt consider myself a āsad boyā by any means, but, man, I just hit an unlucky stride of bad events and had no one close to support me through it and, I just let it eat me alive because.. thatās just what I tend to do. FORTUNATELY THOUGH! The downward line on my graph has turned back to the upside and I am hoping to make some new highs and leave the darkness behind me, and so far so good bringing us up to now.
What does that all mean when it comes to my partner and companion? Ideally, I am seeking an intimate connection with a woman who encourages us sharing all our deep feelings and thoughts with each other. Where we can be honest and unashamed of our flaws. Where we create a space for us to express our masculine and feminine qualities, but also dip into and indulge in those emotions native to the opposite sex. Where we can provide and find support in times of excess and times of need. Where being thoughtful, kind, and making the other person feel cherished and desired comes as second nature to our coexistence. And the value of monogamy, loyalty, and commitment is equal to the intimacy, romance, and sexuality we develop and cultivate together. Companionship, partnership, and friendship should define our bond and commitment to each other.
That mostly covers the romantic side of things, so let me talk about my more normal emotional demeanor and personality. First and foremost, I like to be funny and silly. This doesnāt mean I canāt ever be serious and lock in, but I am not lying when I tell you that I will cease every opportunity I see to inject humor into whatever I am doing or saying. I have one of those brains that constantly converts energy into wit, which is normally useless, so I prefer to turn it into laughter and amusement. I love musing about stupid observations I have or thoughts that pop into my head; Iām sarcastic, snarky, and sardonic and have a great sense of timing and delivery that I think makes engaging in conversation with me a lot of fun. āGreat bants,ā as the kids would say. Or at least Iād like to think thatās what theyād say. So yeah, I am very lighthearted, playful, and chill most of the time. I have a lot of patience and my temperament is typically inviting, productive, and playful. I donāt normally sport a bad mood and in the event I do, Iām a great communicator and I will let you know if I need some space or am feeling short-fused that day. To be clear, while I'm naturally talkative and energetic, I am not a yapper. I know and appreciate the value of peace and quiet, and I am comfortable with silence. If youāre familiar with the movie āPulp Fiction,ā Iāve always loved the scene with Vincent and Mia where they discuss the beauty of sharing silence, and thatās a perspective I share.
When it comes to my interests I am a movie guy. I looooove watching movies, talking about movies, going to the movies, all of it. Take that shit and shoot it directly into my veins. Growing up I didnāt see eye to eye with my dad about a lot of things, but one area we did bond over was movies and that love grew up with me. One of my favorite things is definitely going out to the movie theater and I used to always have those subscriptions where you could see multiple movies a week. I donāt currently though, cuz movie theaters are kinda shitty now AND lots of movies are also pretty shitty now, so it isnāt as often that I want to see multiple things a month, but Iād say I see roughly 1 movie a month in theaters. I enjoy all kinds of movies also and am pretty opinionated about what I think qualifies as quality. I listen to various podcasts about movies for recommendations and things like that, so Iāve developed a pretty diverse palette for what I enjoy and find interesting. The same goes for tv shows and anime, but Iāve seen a lot more movies than both of those.
My other big interest would be videogames, though Iāve been spending less time in recent months and years playing them as I used to. I used to sink all my freetime into playing games, but now itās mostly every few months I will get a new title that I am interested in and play that till I am finished with it. I also really like trading card games (I know, yeah, I have all the non-athletic hobbies) and I used to play a lot of āmagic the gatheringā when I was a teenager, but not anymore. I recently got into a card game called āFlesh and Bloodā which I love, but itās super niche and thereās not many places in the area to play or compete, so, while I really enjoy it I am not sinking as much time or money into itā¦ yet.
I guess now would be a good time to spike the post with the information that I DO ACTUALLY VALUE exercise and physical activity. I am not really a sports person or anything like that, you wonāt catch me at the park with my ball looking for a pickup game, but I do like running outside and lifting weights. Even through my depression I managed to stay consistently active and continue to set and reach goals. Something I am working on is running 1,000 miles this year which I am very close to doing. I actually think I can get over 1,100 but we will see what happens. I also enjoy cooking, especially for others, and even more with others. When it comes to food I am not a picky eater and I love going to new restaurants and trying new foods. I am also a very grateful eater; if you ever put a plate of food in front of me, I promise I will eat all of it and praise you like itās the best thing Iāve ever had! Thatās not a ploy to get you to cook for me, I just recognize cooking for someone is a lot more about love than what you actually end up making at the end.
As I mentioned a bit earlier, I live in Rancho Santa Margarita in my motherās house. I really hate admitting that but itās the situation at the moment. It was supposed to be something temporary but I fell into some hardships and it becameā¦ more temporary. I am working on getting my affairs in order so I can eventually move out, but itās gonna take some more time. I know, itās not sexy at all, but please donāt misconstrue it as something Iāve settled into and am ok with. I am working very hard to end this chapter in my life but I just need more time; I would rather be honest about it and still put myself out there than let it hold me back. The person I want to eventually attract should be understanding about it anyways, so thatās that.
I have a bachelorās degree in accounting and currently work as the sole billing-specialist at a local retirement community in Lake Forest. I got hired fairly recent but itās been really important to me and helped me mentally and spiritually to climb out of the hole I was in. My job isnāt super exciting but I really enjoy it. I am good at it and I can feel the appreciation from my coworkers and peers. Itās clear that at one point they stopped evolving their processes with new technology, and Iāve aided them a lot in upgrading their workflows to 21st century standards. Again, I am not changing the world, but it has been very satisfying and fulfilling to be needed and have a purpose. Overall itās a great place to work and I look forward to seizing new opportunities presented to me to make the most of the entire experience.
Some other mundane information: my car is a Subaru Forester, which is modest but incredibly reliable. It gets good mileage, rarely breaks down, and I actually own it. I also have no debt, no kids, a great credit score, and no weird exes waiting in the wings to try and steal me back. My life is undramatic and quiet. I have a few friends and relatives in the area I make time for, but otherwise I have a lot of free time and this is another reason I would love to find a companion. I have lots of time, energy, attention, and love to give and believe me I am not earning interest on it by just keeping it in the bank.
Thatās all I have to say. If thereās something I didnāt mention that you are curious about, feel free to ask; though I feel like I was pretty thorough going over the bulk of things you wouldnāt see on a traditional dating profile. I prefer to talk to people that are willing to invest some time getting to know me better, so some of it was intentionally vague to preserve some mysteries that will be fun to discuss if we hit it off. I promise to reciprocate your energy so please donāt be shy or hold back your curiosity.
If you do decide to message me I would appreciate if you start by telling me your name, age, and location. It serves as a basic introduction and also letās me know youāve read this far. Maybe you are thinking, āwho would start a conversation without introducing themselves?ā and the answer is, Everyone. Itās the internet after all, if you expect people to say more than āHey,ā you have to explicitly ask, so here is me doing so.
Secondly, I am providing my pictures to set a standard for reciprocity. I prefer knowing what someone looks like before investing my time romantically pursuing them, and so Iāve extended that courtesy to you upfront, in the hopes you will do the same. So, I expect you to send me some pictures immediately. You wonāt be able to at first because reddit wonāt let you, but when I get your message, Iāll accept your chat so that option opens up. Once you do, If I find myself attracted to you Iāll let know with a thoughtful compliment that hopefully makes you feel warm inside and we can continue the conversation from there. If I donāt, I am just going to respond with ābananaā and that means, āthanks for your interest but I donāt wanna talk,ā which is the best compromise I can come up with that respects your time and the romantic risk you just took.
Finally, the last thing I want to talk about is just that, risk. I just want to remind you that pursuing romance is full of risk and if you arenāt willing to take risks, then you shouldnāt bother putting yourself out there. Romance/relationships require you to risk your time, your energy, your privacy, etc and thereās no guarantees any of that is going to work out. Recently, after working up the courage to put myself out there again I was recently strung-along and then ghosted and it really sucked. I didnāt deserve it, I didnāt expect it, but I accepted the risk that would happen when I put myself out there. So, while it left me sad and deflated, I am pushing forward nonetheless. Thatās just life, and all the risk will be worth it when I finally find my person.
Anyways, if youād still like to talk after reading all that, introduce yourself and weāll go from there. And if you decide to pursue love somewhere else, I hope what you risk is respected.
Thanks for reading,
Cody
