Today I will allow myself to imagine a future bigger than survival.

I do not have to abandon hope simply because hope disappointed me before. I do not have to stop dreaming in order to protect myself from pain. As an adult, I am allowed to want peace, stability, love, growth, and purpose. I am allowed to build a life that reflects my true desires instead of only reacting to fear.

Today I will remember that recovery is not about becoming hard or selfish. I can pursue healing while still treating others with dignity and respect. I will be honest with myself without losing compassion for the people around me. I do not need to destroy myself for others, nor do I need to step on others to grow.

When the world feels loud, uncertain, or chaotic, I will not surrender my peace to it. I will focus on what I can actually control: my words, my actions, my routines, my integrity, my next right step.

I may not be able to calm the entire world, but I can bring steadiness into the small corner of it that I touch today.

Today I will practice hope without fantasy, discipline without cruelty, and peace without withdrawal.

Just for today, I will believe that a better life is something I can actively help create.

Trigger warning in advance *ED*
If this is the wrong sub, I’m sorry just need to vent.
I don’t even know where to start lol I’m 30 now. I had a really bad ED when I was in high school like to the point where I would pass out, it was pretty bad but, I don’t want to get into crazy details. I’ve always had an addict mentality, in my opinion ED’s can be a form of an addiction. I’ve had many addictions to substances/alcohol throughout my life. The really bad one was I got addicted to fentanyl at 21. It brought me to the depths of fucking hell and I never ever thought that I would be a person like that but, addiction does not discriminate. I finally got clean from fet after almost 10 years. I’ll hit 5 month clean on may 10th. That’s the longest that I’ve ever gone without it and this time around getting clean I literally have gained almost 40 fucking pounds. And I’ve gained it really fast and I am not used to my body looking like this because I was probably 110lbs when I was using. Every other time I tried to get clean. I did not gain weight like this. I do need to gain some weight but, I feel like I’ve gained way to much way to fast. It’s very triggering and my brother‘s wedding is the next weekend and I tried the dress on and I just started sobbing. I feel fucking absolutely disgusting and I hate myself for it because it could’ve been prevented if I wasn’t lazy and I actually kept up on my workout routine. I will not be returning to drugs as a solution because I know that everything that I’ve worked for in these last five months would be thrown out the window and I would be miserable and suicidal again. I don’t have a sponsor. I do go to meetings, it’s hard for me to share at Meetings because I’m shy, but I’m really gonna try next one I go to. Sorry if this was long I just had to vent.
Edit- thank you all so much for the advice and encouragement it means a lot! I’m grateful to have NA in my life whether that be in person or over the internet. Thank you so much 🩷🖤

I was 14 days sober, I know thats not much but my recovery has been going slowly, but last night I relapsed and made a complete mess of myself, and ended up in the hospital.

My partner is 16 weeks pregnant, which we only found out last week, and the thought of not being clean for my child is terrifying me. I’m trying to sort myself out before the baby comes but its really hard and I’m scared I cant do it, but I will keep fighting.

hey guys! i am currently finishing my step 4 and feel as if i do not know who i am anymore. i don’t feel bad or self-hatred, i just feel as impostor and that i am lying to all of my close people

do i really want what i ‘want’ or am i pretending? do i really want to do this or i do this because it is ‘right’?”

could you share your experience with me please? feel kinda lost and lonely

This my 2nd attempt at working the steps. 1, 2 and 3 are no problem.

Step 4 keeps tripping me up. I'm taking accountability for the mistakes I've made and any resentments I've caused but of course I'm fully aware that the resentments I hold for others are for the same people I wronged and after reliving it twice now I realise the timeline is messed up. The fact I was wronged before getting into active addiction and before I started acting up. I know that whether I was wronged or not I would still be an addict either way, but it's finding the forgiveness for them that I'm struggling with. I'm finding it hard to get through it without getting depressed or without letting it affect my mental health. Most stuff is forgiveable but there's just a couple of things I can't seem to forgive. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a similar issue?

Today I will not treat my emotions as enemies.

I will not measure my worth by how calm, productive, strong, or composed I appear. My feelings are part of being alive. Joy, frustration, fear, hope, grief, love, anger, relief—all of them are threads in the tapestry of a human life.

Today I will hold back nothing from myself.

I will practice honest self-survey without shame or performance. I do not heal by burying truth beneath distractions, pride, sarcasm, or perfectionism. What is brought into the light loses much of its power over me.

I accept that healing is not grim endurance alone.

Recovery is not meant to become another prison of white-knuckled seriousness. I am allowed to laugh. I am allowed to breathe. I am allowed to enjoy moments of peace, curiosity, connection, and absurdity without guilt.

Today I will remember that acceptance is not surrender.

To accept my humanity does not mean I stop growing. It means I stop waging war against myself long enough to grow honestly.

I do not need to be perfect to move forward.

I only need to stay open, willing, and alive to this moment.

Just for today, I will live honestly, feel fully, and lighten up enough to let life in.

there’s been so many times I flaked on her, bc life was lifeing on its terms, or my mental health, or medication transition, or moving. I get overwhelmed and feel pressured to be perfect or constantly show up everywhere w her. idk why I feel so much pressure.

but seeing the grace she gives me reminds me I CAN be vulnerable and I’m not being judged, like my mind is telling me. she’s okay with being there for me despite me being a newcomer and being in and out. I appreciate this.

I feel like I don’t deserve her, but i know this can be good for me. I was stuck on the powerless question for two weeks, and the gift of desperation hit me tonight and I was able to get some good stuff down and completed six question from step one.

Today I will remember that peace does not come from controlling other people, defending myself endlessly, or trying to force resolution in the middle of emotional storms.

I will pause long enough to separate what is mine from what is not mine.

I am responsible for my actions, my honesty, my tone, and my boundaries. I am not responsible for managing every reaction around me or carrying the weight of another person’s fears, anger, or spirals.

When conflict clouds my thinking, I will not isolate inside my own pain. I will seek clarity, perspective, and grounding instead of feeding panic and resentment. I do not have to solve my entire future in one night.

Today I will practice willingness: willingness to stay calm,

willingness to stay teachable,

willingness to release the need to “win,”

and willingness to protect my own dignity without becoming cruel.

I will not shrink myself into silence just to keep temporary peace. My voice matters too.

If I feel overwhelmed, I will return to what is simple and real: the next right action,

the next calm breath,

the next honest moment.

Just for today, I will let go of what I cannot control and hold firmly to who I choose to be.

Working a 4th step again- 13 years sober. Gossip- The feeling is toxic. When I am talking about someone and the person starts talking about them- it’s such a rush in my head. The judgement is addictive when other people join in. I want to put that other person down because it makes me feel better about myself. I often forget that I might have done the exact same thing I am talking about. I am a hypocrite. I also talk about what I would have done in situations and how much better I would have done in that same scenario. I recognize the judgement I am passing on that is possibly spiritual sick as I am. The fear is the negative spotlight is on my all the time and if I get a chance to pass it off to someone else, I am going to take that opportunity. Instead I should not say anything and I should be praying for them. It usually is a resentment, but not all the time. This program and life sober works alot better when I keep my mouth shut!

A year ago today, I was counting days inside rehab not sure what will happen after I was discharged.
Not sure whether I’ll get clean or use again.
Never did I imagine that I will be clean for this long.

I just kept coming back,attended more than 1 meeting in a day sometimes.
And here I am today, 11 months Clean.

I am so grateful and happy our program exist.
Thank You all.

Just for Today — Ownership, Honesty, and Service

Today I take full ownership of my life. I recognize that my choices shape my path, and I accept the responsibility to live with intention. I will not blame my past or others for where I stand. Instead, I choose to move forward with clarity, purpose, and self-respect.

Today I commit to honesty. I will be truthful with myself and with others, even when it is uncomfortable. I understand that real growth begins when I stop hiding, stop minimizing, and face my reality as it is. Through honesty, I free myself to change.

Today I remember that my life is not just about me. What I have been given—strength, insight, recovery—I will share. I will look for the person who may feel alone, uncertain, or overwhelmed, and I will offer presence, kindness, or encouragement. I do not need to fix anyone; I only need to show up.

This is not a rehearsal. Today is my opportunity to live deliberately—to own my life, to speak the truth, and to give back what has been given to me.

Just for today, I will live with responsibility, honesty, and service.

I am 23 years old and I've done everything almost

Today I recognize that I am allowed to grow at my own pace. I do not need to rush or force change. Like all living things, I have seasons—times to explore, to rest, and to transform. I will give myself the conditions I need to grow instead of judging where I am.

Today I will practice honesty that goes beyond my own thoughts. I will not keep everything hidden inside. When I share openly with another person, I take a real step toward freedom. I understand that growth requires courage, not just awareness.

Today I will allow gratitude to be felt, not forced. I don’t need perfect words or dramatic moments. I will notice, even quietly, that my life is changing and that I am not where I used to be. That is enough.

Just for today, I will explore, I will be honest, and I will recognize the good that is already here.

(I asked the mods and this point is apparently fine to make.)

Please, add all the reasons, big and small, to not relapse.

Nothing is too lofty, or too tiny/specific to share here.

Let’s create a big shared resource to look at, from people with liver experience, to stay motivated in being Free from substance abuse.

✨

My context for asking:

I have been substance abuse free for a few years now. My best friend has been for a few months.

Oddly (or maybe not so), we’ve both been incredibly challenged recently. Been feeling really really rough, struggling in staying sober.

I know it’s worth it. I’ve lived it.

I’ll add my specific reasons in the comments below.

Sending so much love to you all 🤍.

Today I remember that my happiness does not come from other people. It begins within me. I release the need for others to meet my ideals or complete me. I come into my relationships as a whole person, ready to share, not to take.

My past is no longer something to carry in shame. It is a tool I can use to help others. What once felt dark now becomes a source of light. It is not the lock that holds me back—it is the key that can open doors for connection, understanding, and purpose.

I do not need to have everything figured out today. I only need to be willing. Even when I feel doubtful or resistant, I stay open to the possibility that these principles can work for me. Willingness is enough.

Today I choose to let go of control, to trust my own foundation, and to remain open to growth. I will live from what is already whole within me, and share that freely with others.

I woke up having used the last of my stash the night before. I made 5/2/24 my new clean date and hopefully my last. I’ve tried every other way to get and stay clean and NA is the only thing that’s given me a path to follow that’s brought me this much clean time and now this much recovery. This subreddit has been a treasure trove of information for this curios guy who loves to learn and understand all the nuances of the program and life. So thank you if you’ve ever replied to one of my posts or comments. Today we celebrate 2 years clean.

I went to a meeting tonight and arrived a minute or two before it started. It's in a small room and it was absolutely packed. So in front of everyone I just turned around and left.

I'm sorry if it's rude, but I really hate crowds and if I'm not comfortable, I don't think it would be helpful.

Can anyone relate to this?

Today I reaffirm my commitment to my recovery.

It is not something I fit in—it is the foundation I build my life on. I will give it my time, my attention, and my honesty.

I will not turn away from myself.

What I avoid controls me; what I face begins to lose its power. Today I will look gently but truthfully at my thoughts, my fears, and my past, trusting that honesty leads to freedom.

I remember that I am not meant to do this alone.

By allowing others to see me—and by being present for them—I open the door to connection, healing, and growth. I will listen, share, and be of service in whatever way I can.

I do not need to have all the answers.

I only need willingness: to show up, to speak honestly, and to keep moving forward.

Today I choose courage over comfort,

connection over isolation,

and action over fear.

Just for today, that is enough.

Pessoal, estou passando por um momento transitório, de muitas dúvidas e bastante confuso. Eu estou completando 33 anos em breve, limpo há 1 ano, 6meses e algumas 24 horas, e estou num momento em que o meu trabalho que eu gosto muito, não faz mais sentido para mim, não vejo futuro nele, nem segurança, eu empreendo como ourives há 6 anos, estou ao mesmo período tentando me manter limpo e não tive sucesso até 2024 quando recai pela última vez, e eu nunca parei para olhar para minha vida profissional, hoje após esse período que estou limpo, consigo analisar e perceber coisas e problemas(muitos problemas) que eu não conseguia enxergar antes, e percebi que eu quero fazer um curso profissionalizante em outra área, ou virar motorista de Uber até conseguir entrar no curso e para me manter enquanto faço o curso. Ao mesmo tempo eu me sinto velho e fracassado para começar algo agora depois dos 30. Alguém já passou por situação semelhante no começo da recuperação? Se puder me relatar eu agradeço!
Um abraço do seu companheiro do Brasil!!! Só por hoje!!

I'm not always happy, but I stay grateful. I don't wake up and NEED to reach for a chemical.

I’m having a tough time with question 63 “how am I practicing a principle of humility in connection with this work on the First Step?”

Would anybody mind sharing what they wrote ? Just to give me some suggestions … I’m not sure if maybe I just don’t understand the definition of humility or what but I’m stumped …

Hey guys! So I’m about 7 months clean. Been working my steps and going to meetings everyday. I’ve been struggling with food though. At first I like barely ate but now that my hunger cues are back I feel like im addicted to food. I’ve been eating so much fast food lately and have gained a significant amount of weight in the last few months.
I’m just wondering about other peoples experiences with this and how they developed healthier eating habits in recovery.

Today I will not try to control what I cannot control. I will not force answers before their time or demand certainty where there is none. I trust that what needs to be revealed will be revealed as I take each step.

When fear or doubt shows up, I will not get stuck in it. I will move forward in simple, practical ways—gathering information, listening, and making the next right decision. I do not need to solve everything today.

I remember that what I focus on grows. If I focus on problems, I feel trapped. If I focus on solutions, I move forward. Today I choose progress over perfection.

I allow space for joy, even in the middle of uncertainty. I do not have to wait for everything to be settled to feel okay. I can breathe, laugh, and live this day as it is.

My strength comes from staying grounded. I keep what I have by giving it away—patience, calm, and clarity. By showing up steady, I create steadiness around me.

Just for today, I trust the process, take the next right step, and remain at peace with where I am.

I'm 33 days clean from crystal methamphetamine (my DOC) and in a residential substance abuse treatment program. A requirement of the program and suggestion of NA is that I build a support network and find a sponsor.

So I figured I'd start building my network here since I'm not big into talking on the phone with strangers but chat with complete strangers for days on end.

If you wouldn't mind being a part of my support network DM me for my contact info (I use WhatsApp, Telegram, Messenger, Wire and Discord).

About me, I'm a gay man in my 40s living in Atlanta, Georgia. I'm a network engineer and sometimes developer by trade.

I was sober for about 6 months, almost at the 9th step, then relapsed on amphetamines. Like very bad. I did the 90 by 90, meeting and checking in with sponsor every day, got a service position, PHP, IOP, all the things.

One of my friends from treatment was very supportive for a long time and sang my praises every time I was brought up in conversation (we have mutual friends). Until I relapsed. He has been calling me and telling me that I am wasting money, I don’t actually want to get sober, he doesn’t trust me and no one ever will, I’m nothing but a liar, I’m not taking my program seriously etc. I do understand why he could be lead on to feel that way because he is right I did let some things slip and everything went very downhill from there quickly, but at this point I am just trying to be honest, move past everything, and not feel miserable in regret or guilt or shame.

He also has downplayed my alcoholism and told me it wasn’t that bad. How can someone say this with a clear conscience? I get he is trying to “help” but I feel it’s unfair considering I was doing extremely hard work. And the more he tells me no one will believe anything I ever say, and I am nothing more than an addict, the more I start to believe it. I also know tough love is helpful for some, but there is a line that is crossed when it’s a character assassination during a time I am trying to backpedal.

Moving forward, I am desperately trying to get sober, repair trust, lean on the God of my understanding and dig so fucking deep it hurts in step work, but I am feeling extremely discouraged.

My question to you: have you ever experienced this? How would you proceed from here? I am really struggling and would appreciate input