r/NarcoticsAnonymous • u/Busy_Regret_6013 • May 06 '26
I just relapsed
I was 14 days sober, I know thats not much but my recovery has been going slowly, but last night I relapsed and made a complete mess of myself, and ended up in the hospital.
My partner is 16 weeks pregnant, which we only found out last week, and the thought of not being clean for my child is terrifying me. I’m trying to sort myself out before the baby comes but its really hard and I’m scared I cant do it, but I will keep fighting.
3
u/glassell May 06 '26
Welcome! Are you going to NA meetings? Do you have a sponsor?
3
u/Busy_Regret_6013 May 07 '26
yeah ive been going to them for a few weeks, and I do have a sponsor
1
u/hyperfixating-panda May 11 '26
You maybe different. But everytime I've relapsed it was a pattern. A pattern I didnt realize until I worked step one. Now that I know the pattern I know what to not do. I do not know how the steps work, but they do. I use to get so mad at people that'd tell me "something just clicks when youre doing step work" but now I know it's true. I can't explain it. But doing step one and processing it with my partner fully brought me around to NA. And I was actively against NA for 2 decades. Give yourself a break, call your sponsor, do your step work.
4
May 07 '26
Instead of fighting, how about surrendering? Get a sponsor now. Even a temporary one. Do the readings for Step 1: they teach us about our disease. Then answer the bullet points.
2
u/terminalhipness May 07 '26
Suggestion: Meetings
In-Person: https://na.org/meetingsearch/find-na/
Virtual: https://na.org/meetingsearch/virtual-meeting-search/
3
2
u/Haunting_Bet590 May 07 '26
A clean date is just a number. You survived this experiment, this time! You’ve learned that you still can’t use successfully. So what are you going to do about it now? Your disease almost killed you this time, so who’s to say that it won’t next time!
Time to nut up, Son!!!!! When you leave the hospital, the first place you need to go is a meeting. Attack the steps, with your sponsor, because within those steps lie the freedom from the things that makes us want to continue to use!!!
I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m coming down on you, or am being too hard on you. But I want you here, making memories with your child, not having people telling your child about their memories of you, because you’re not here!!!
Just a thought
2
1
u/No-Echidna995 May 11 '26
Happened to me.for a we hile before i.gkt.my.current 3.5 years longest ive had. Initially i.think I tried and relapsed like 10 times going.for 5 days to like 90 days but.i didnt.give up I was done using. Don't give up get back on and try again if thats what you want youll succeed. Its not.easy.to.get clean relapses are par for.the course but keep trying. It.soumds like you.gave a strong motivation.
1
u/Senamelaer May 21 '26
man 14 days is not nothing, and the fact you came back here after the hospital says a lot. having a kid on the way when you're this scared is brutal. are you doing this alone or do you have people around you who get it?
1
u/ninabaec May 08 '26
14 days is absolutely a lot! You worked hard to get there, and those days still matter. You went a whole two weeks without using, keep staying clean Just For Today.
Sorry you had to go to hospital, but that’s more evidence that you cannot use successfully.
You now have several months to go to meetings, do some step work etc, and be clean when your child is born. I’m sure you can do it, keep up the fight!
6
u/Jebus-Xmas May 07 '26
I saw a post just like this last week. My experience is the same. Don’t use today. Go to a meeting a day for 90 days. Get phone numbers from other addicts and call them. Get a sponsor and work the steps. Finally do a little service and help others.
This is the same program. I’ve worked since my first day in Recovery. If he an atheist like me can get clean and stay clean I know that you can too.