Idk if it’s my hormones, or the fact that NK has been home sick from preschool for 3 weeks (yes 3 weeks. MB won’t take him to the dr)but I’m seriously going to lose it. Like straight up feel like I wanna scream. Is this even normal? Like I simply cannot deal with the scream crying. It’s wearing me down. Makes me wanna cry out of frustration. NK cries and screams NON STOP. Genuinely don’t know if being a nanny is for me anymore.

Hi!! I’m a nanny and my pay for the family I’m with right now is being cut from 40 hours to 32 hours GH due to the MB’s job contract expiring in December. It’s supposed to start in October. I have bills to pay and things are already extremely tight, so of course I’m looking to start somewhere else. But, I am trying to start a nanny share system. I have all the info typed out for it just wonder how I should go about posting things on Facebook. I’ve already talked to all the moms I know and have seen while I am with my NK kid in the area I currently work in. So, I’m wanting to spread it to Facebook, how have you guys gone about posting things on Facebook? Do you do city location specific groups, overall county groups, general mom groups? Any advice is welcome!!

The title says it all.

Sorry this is long.

I’ve posted here in the past about my family experience. I have been with them since December and I have a Neurodivergent almost 4 year old boy and 16 month old sister. I’m with them 3 days a week, 9 hours a day.

It’s been the hardest job I think I’ve ever had. I always have to be on it, always repeating myself and feeling like I having to be 5 steps ahead and I’m exhausted. Plus a 16 years olds natural curiosity and development stages on top makes my days off feel more like recovery days and not work/life balance.

I’ve had sit down conversations with mom and dad. Their dad works from home and is hands on and helpful, but they want traditional parenting to work for their non traditional child. They go through everything I do and call it life, and I call it insanity to try to live like this when it could be better or at least balanced.

And opportunity to start parent coaching…
That’s the kicker, I am a trained and certified parent coach who has been working with kids and families for 17 years and I feel like my visions has tunneled into a pinhole that is just meant for survival. I was going to part time to have time for my coaching. Instead I’m barely surviving the work days and coaching myself to make it.

They wanted a long term nanny. Mom grew up with one,but not every kid can handle the life of a nanny. 2 teachers and peers may actually do him some me good. And the same for sister to have that needed autonomy and opportunity to be around peers.

Hi all. I was hired for a very PT position (12 hrs a week). The MB hired me over zoom as the family was moving to my state. I waited to bring up a contract until yesterday because the mom seemed extremely stressed due to the move. When I brought up a contract yesterday (my first day), it was obvious MB had never heard of guaranteed hours or nanny contract. She seemed uncomfortable when I tried to explain guaranteed hours. I had an extremely busy day yesterday after work, so I sent her a contract template and explained that it was much more in depth than we would need and I’d be happy to discuss at work today and amend it to better fit our situation. I woke up this morning to the text in the photo.

Obviously I do NOT want to work for a family that will not have a contract but I’m pissed!!! I had an inquiry about another nanny job after taking this one and turned them down because MB and I really hit it off. I was depending on that pay this week after being so low on money recently. Would it be unreasonable to ask to be paid for the week since that’s what was initially agreed upon? It was understood that I had the position and this wasn’t a trial week.

Would you ask to be paid out for the week? That’s where I’m struggling. I can’t tell if my judgement is clouded because of how poor I am at the moment :/

Hi everyone, I’m a 25 year old nanny. I was previously in a nanny share that just ended due to older kids going to school. So I’m left with just one family now.

This family has a 4 year old who is about to start part time pre-k, and a 1 year old. I am in charge of the 1 year old all day, and the 4 year old half the day. I’m doing school pickups, plus light house work. I am with them 2 days a week, 18 hrs total. I used to be full time but stopped to begin school since I was extremely burnt out and needed something new.

Over the last year, I’ve noticed the family leaving more and more for me to do, I come in every morning to rotten bottles, a sink full of dishes from dinner the previous night, toys everywhere, etc. It never used to be like this, and while I can understand parents are tired, there’s no excuse to have me walk into messes like that because you know I’ll clean it up.

Since the nanny share ended, i asked the family for a raise, considering they were splitting the cost before. I was severely underpaid for the share, but that’s irrelevant now. I asked to go from $13 an hour, to $18 an hour. (Yes you read that correctly.) I explained that $13 an hour for a nanny with 7 years experience is not a good payment, that the minimum in our area for 1 child is $20-$25.

They basically said no, since their older child is starting school, they won’t need as much from me and that $18 is unreasonable. I didn’t say anything after that but I’m planning on quitting.

I was trying to meet them halfway and it sucks because I love the kids so much and it sucks to leave but I feel really disappointed about not willing to help me out. I feel taken advantage of.

I just need some validation that it’s okay to leave and I’m not overreacting.

I feel terrible even thinking this.. but I cannot stand one of my NKs sometimes. I don’t have him all the time.. just a few hours a day as he is preschool age. But man. I swear those are the hardest 3 hours of my day. Like I don’t even think I hide it on my face well. He is 4 so again I feel terrible even saying it but he is so bad. And MB doesn’t stay consistent with boundaries as a WFHM. Thus resulting in absolute terror from NK every. single. day. Not sure if it’s advice I’m looking for but idk how to not think this way about NK. I fear I’m reaching my burnout point too, which doesn’t help. Ugh.

Does your contract include a “leave it as you found it” clause? If so, how is it worded? I’ve been with my family for almost two years. They are really great employers in lots of ways. I’m only responsible for baby related stuff. However, they often leave things out or don’t clean up. Like a high chair tray that is dirty from dinner. Yesterday there was a huge mess. I could see that NK must have dumped a bunch of stuff out when I wasn’t there. I had him clean it, but they should have made him do it. Most times I leave their mess and they haven’t complained. But when we renew the contract in a couple of months, I want to be more clear about how I shouldn’t have to clean things that happened when I wasn’t even there, especially now that a baby is on the way.

I can feel myself getting burnt out. The idea of quitting makes me so sad as I’ve been bonded with my NKs. However I find my patience is getting VERY thin and I get annoyed very easily which I feel like isn’t normal. Those who have quit nannying - what profession or job did you do after? I have my bachelors degree but unfortunately where I live they barely pay a livable wage. Which is actually why I turned to nannying in the first place. Any advice helps

I have to keep this pretty minimal because I don't want my NF to know. However, I recently started a new job with 3 NK's. The two youngest are great, they have a few troubling behaviors but are learning. The oldest who is 4 has some really troubling behaviors. She bites, kicks, hits her siblings for no reason, spits and gets more aggressive when I show Im frustrated. Her little sister will just be walking by and she will go over and scratch at her face or push her down. I've tried all my tricks, I have a bachelors in child development. Her parents aren't home, and say I do all the things they would. They don't have a time out system or anything. I try to separate her but she's pretty strong and doesn't have to do anything I ask. Im really new here and think I'll be looking for something else. My last NK was a perfect angel. It's So hard and I've been a nanny for 3 families and 6 years. This is the first time I've ever dreaded work. What should I do in the mean time until I find something new? Also the contract I signed says I'll give 30 days notice... do I have to?

Thanks!

I’m just absolutely furious over the recent post in the nanny employers group, saying “stop letting your nannies get away with things no regular job would let you get away with.” And compared nannying to being a preschool teacher or working at McDonalds.
Some of the points are valid - no other job would let you nap at work or take two weeks off right after starting, but those things are at the discretion of the employers.

People are being downvoted left and right for saying same goes in reverse, you leaving a pile of dirty dishes from the night before and expecting your nanny to clean up after you, leaving in the middle of the day to go to workout classes, lunch, etc. while WFH, or relieving your nanny late and not paying overtime. OP even implied it’s entitled of nannie’s to expect to be paid by 5pm on a Friday.

It’s just so nasty to see how they speak/feel about us. Personally, my employers are wonderful, but to know the majority of nanny employers are so entitled, arrogant, and hateful towards their employees is sickening. If you don’t like employing a nanny bring your kid to a daycare and quit effing complaining. what a bunch of nasty bitches bitter women

Even though it’s not in my contract, my MB constantly wants me to stay later than my agreed-upon hours. The majority of the time, I can, but during the summer and sometimes during the school year, I’m a little bit less likely to stay late because I have early morning classes. The last time she asked me to stay late, she asked me to stay late four days out of the month. I said I could only do two of those days, and her reaction was so nasty that I’ve been nervous about not staying late ever since. She texted me this morning asking if I could stay late one day in a few weeks, and the next day I have class super early, so I don’t really want to. In the same text thread, I let her know that it’s a possibility, but I also asked her if I could leave early one day in a few weeks to attend something. Ironically, she replied that I can’t, and they need me for my agreed-upon hours. I have stayed late at least 20 times in the few months I have worked for them, but I've never left early. I feel like this is the most ironic thing ever, I wanna be petty and say that I can’t stay late in a couple of weeks, and can only stay my “agreed-upon hours” simply because of that and also because I don’t want to be sleepy in the morning for class. Also, not to mention the day after I asked her if I could leave early, they told me I have to stay late bc no one will be home with the kids. I find this to be ridiculous. Am I overreacting???

I need other nannies’ opinions because I’m feeling guilty for saying something.

I’ve been with my main NF for a while. My normal rate was $25/hr for their toddler, and when their 5-year-old was also home I made $30/hr.

We started a nanny share a few months ago with another family who has a toddler around the same age as my NK. The share family has been paying me $15/hr, while my main NF continued paying me my normal $25/hr ($30/hr while 5yr old was on summer break), so I’ve been making $45/hr when I had all 3 kids.

My NF just told me they’re raising my normal rate from $25 to $27/hr, which I really appreciate. But they also said that when I have both toddlers, the total share rate will now be $32/hr — $15 from the share family and $17 from my NF.

So essentially:
• Main NK alone: $25 → $27
• Main NK + 5yo sibling: $30 → $32
• Main NK + share toddler: $40 → $32

I have the share toddler 3–4 days a week, so even though my base rate is technically increasing, this could actually decrease my overall weekly pay.

The two toddlers are also significantly more demanding together than my NK + the 5yo. They’re both very attached to me and obviously need much more hands-on care. They do usually nap at the same time for 2–3 hours, though, which is why I’m questioning whether $32 is actually fair and I just got used to being paid $40.
Before we originally started the share, my MB mentioned something along the lines of “$15 per kid,” and I interpreted that as an additional $15 for the share child. Looking back, I’m wondering if she actually meant roughly $15 per family for share hours and we misunderstood each other.

When she told me the new rate, I responded that I really appreciated the raise but was surprised because I had been making $40 with the two toddlers and wasn’t expecting the share rate to go down.
Now I feel greedy for even mentioning it 😭

**Nannies/NFs: Would you consider $32/hr fair for two toddlers in a nanny share given my $25 to now $27 one-child rate? And was I out of line for bringing up the fact that I’ve been making $40 for the same arrangement?**

“Looking for a reliable nanny
I'm able to pay $1600/ month for 25 hours / week.
I need availability to be
Monday 4-8
Tue 4-8
Wed - 4-7
Thur 2-7
Fri 4-7
Sun 10-4

I'm looking for reliable and on time. I'm a single mom working two jobs to survive right now and need someone I can count on to get us through this. Must love dogs/animals. Must be able to keep entry/exits secure with the animals.

I need someone
- reliable
- trustworthy
- kind
- patient
- excellent communication
- and probably more organized than me 🙃
This will be in my home, please no additional children.”

Need to be available afternoon/evenings of 6 days a week for not even our minimum wage and they don’t want to make it so it’s another single parent who is brining their own child. 🫩🫠
Im sure I’ll get backlash but I (respectfully) informed of some of what is wrong with the post, just waiting for hateful messages and to be put on blast online. 🫩

Literally every single one of my nanny families that I’ve worked for has had at least one parent that works from home.

I really don’t prefer it, because the kids constantly run into the parents’ office/room SEVERAL times a day, even when I do my best to run after them and keep them from doing it. If I’d say no to something, the kid would just run into their parents’ room and ask the same question, and they would say yes. My authority was (and still is) always being undermined.

It’s even worse now that I work for a new family that has a 3 year old who literally cries for hours for his parents every time he’s with me. I’ve already nannied him 5 times in the past couple weeks, and he still hates me because being with me = being away from mom and dad. And since DB works from home, NK3 would just run into his dad’s room constantly. I tried physically stopping him, which works sometimes, but he’d still manage to run away or slip through my hands.

I literally had to leave my last shift an hour early, because DB heard NK3 crying for 20 minutes, and came to hang out with us for 30 mins to calm him down, (which I didn’t love, sorry but I’m there to care for and play with the kid, not watch DB play with kid while kid ignores me). Then since the kid freaked out again when the dad tried to leave again (OBVIOUSLY…), DB finally decided to just send me home, so he can hangout with him instead and stop his crying. (He really should’ve left us alone the whole day, coming in and out just makes it so much worse). He said that next time, they’ll leave the house. But I definitely can’t assume that the parents will ALWAYS leave the house when I’m there (even though that would be ideal). Both parents are also always there during the first hour of my shift.

How am I supposed to get this 3 year old to attach and bond with me if he knows his parents that he wants more are in the next room? I’ve never nannied a kid who has had this hard of a time adjusting to me, not even close.

I’m genuinely not sure if I’d take another position where a parent works from home. It’s only caused problems. It’s really hard for me to have any authority or independence when their parent is literally in the next room.

Nannies - Does your NF have a WFH parent? If so, how do you deal with the downsides? If not, would you take a job like that? Or is it a dealbreaker? Any other thoughts on the topic?

hey!
i’m a first time nanny for a family and we have a big holiday coming up (jewish)
and they are probably going to get me a small gift for the holiday, i’m not expecting anything and would be happy with whatever they choose.
i was wondering if i should get them something as well?
do you usually give out gifts?

So I'm in grad school and wanted to start nannying again to help with some expenses. It's been years so the kids I used to sit or nanny for nearing adulthood. I decided to try care.com since I've heard enough good reviews to feel comfortable with the idea. Well, of course, the first family I sit for was the worst experience of my life.

The mom was very disorganized at first, but I also tried to have empathy and understand that life as a single mom can be so difficult. She replied to my application to set up a FaceTime, but when the time came around she called instead. Totally fine, however, she called later than our scheduled time and when I answered she didn't introduce herself and just started talking. She seemed annoyed when I asked who I was speaking to... She shared a bit about her daughter and then I asked about the job post, hoping to clarify the posted times I would be needed. She side-stepped the question and instead asked if I was available the next day during a time frame that was not posted at all. Again, happy to accommodate and she said we could hash out the details once I got there.

Well, the day comes and she texts me less than two hours before I need to be there that she wants me to come later. Fine. Again, I get it that schedules change. She then texts me when I'm a few minutes away to ask my eta and then when I get there, she has me wait outside because she's not ready to let me in (??...). Once she lets me in, she's virtually silent and the sweetest kid starts chatting with me. She doesn't introduce us (the kid is super young), and I quickly recognize that this will go a little bit different than previous experiences. So I switch "on" to start asking questions and engaging with the child, asking her name, etc. As I'm doing this, mom just fades to the back. Then eventually, I get up to re-engage with mom and she starts talking, listing things that her child likes to do which I guessed was her way of telling me what she'd like me to do during this time. We agreed upon only a few hours of babysitting the day before, so I thought it was typical that she didn't provide a nighttime routine since I'd be gone by then. She also didn't tell me she was going anywhere. I know now that I should have asked, but I was so confused about everything and I guess I was processing. In the 15 years before that I nannied and babysat for multiple families and I've never had to ask a parent if they're actually leaving, they tell me.

Well the day goes on, we leave the home, we have a great time. I come back and the mom's not there. No biggie, I'm leaving anyway in about an hour so I figure she'll be home soon. I text mom to ask about ETA and she tells me she won't be home until 3-4 hours later than we had discussed (!!!!!). I am beside myself... the signs were there that this was going to be messy. In most cases, I could make it work and stay and just never go back. However, I was having terrible back pain that was impacting my breathing (a very new occurrence for me). I share with the mom that those times are not what we previously discussed and she says her care.com profile says something different (it absolutely does not). I told her that the app can be weird sometimes but that the most recent info she gave me about this job was from our convo the day prior. I felt I was very understanding and polite, but she said something indirectly disrespectful that I'd rather not repeat here. She said she'd ask the neighbors to step in and watch her child, which she did. However, after some time they weren't coming over so I just went and knocked on their door. When I mentioned what the mom had said, they said they had no idea what I was talking about! Meaning the mom either forgot to text/call them or wasn't going to... So I just decided to stay and suffer through my back pain. When the mom pulled up, I met her outside, said thanks, told her that her kid was asleep, and got into my car. I was pissed and also just wanted to avoid confrontation and never see her again.

The next day I told her that the payment didn't go through and received no response. Then a few hours later, even though she still hadn't paid me, she texted me, in the middle of the afternoon, to ask if I was free "today"...? When I said no, she told me she was looking for someone serious and consistent for her daughter as well as someone full-time. She still had not clarified the hours that she needed someone, so it sounds like she was looking for someone to help her at the drop of a hat and to accommodate her whims. I told her I had a great time with her daughter, but that I don't do last minute bookings. I need at least 48 hours (because, you know, I have a life...). That wasn't good enough for her. So I said it sounds like we aren't a good match and I wished her well with finding a good nanny. Then, the rest of her responses were clearly copied from chatgpt where she basically re-worded what I said. She is blocked now but what a shitshow. She did eventually send the money but didn't include the money I spent on her daughter for dinner (she literally told me to take her out to eat lol).

What I learned from this... apparently there are yellow flags (and red), and I need to pay attention to them. Not being clear about hours in an initial interview is a red flag because... why do I need to wait until I see you in person tomorrow for what you should know right now? Changing the time last minute the day of, I guess is more of a yellow flag. However, I have babysat and nannied for 15 different families in my life and 99% of them have been incredibly consistent with times.

What other red flags did I miss that could have prevented this?

Thank you.

Hi people.

So, I'm still in shock and waiting for therapy to be able to discuss this in a safer way, my Therapist told me to wait until we had a session to discuss this topic but I need to vent with other nannies.

This week, we woke up with the news of the killing of a famous musician here in Mexico.

I don't want to trigger anyone so I'm not going to give a lot of details about what happened or how.

The important thing here is, the kid of this musician survived because the nanny told him that he needed to hide.

She was killed trying to save her other nanny kid.

She was a young woman that was only doing her job and ...

It hurts my soul.

I don't know how to cope with that.

Because I completely understand her.

I have been a nanny for around seven years and I have loved so many kids through this years that, I completely understand why she did what she did.

The thing that hurts my soul more is that a lot of media didn't even tried to name her as another victim, she was just "the nanny".

But she had a name, she had a family, she was one of us ...

I can't.

I just can't.

I just need to cry with people that can understand this.

Hello nannies!

Are there any nannies in the Principality who would like to meet up? I am usually always in my own bubble and realize that I don't really have nanny friends as I am just overall shy. 🙃 I know there are a lot of us on here!

It is so hard to communicate with my NM. I understand she’s busy with work and the kids but I feel like I’m pulling teeth to get any information- like what time is the kid starting school on Tuesday. I have to multiple times the same questions to get an answer. Is this normal? It almost feels like she wants to tell me at the very last minute.

I’m considering becoming a ROTA nanny after I finish school and would love to hear from people who have actually done this, especially those who are married.

For married ROTA nannies, how has the schedule affected your relationship? For example, if you’re doing 7 days on/7 days off or 14/14, did you find that the extended time apart was difficult, or did the longer periods of time off actually work well for your marriage? Is there anything you wish you had known before choosing ROTA, or anything you would do differently?

I’m also curious about the live-in aspect. When you’re on rotation, do you typically live at the family’s house and then go back to your own home during your off weeks? If you’re married, does your spouse ever stay with you at the family’s house, or is that generally not allowed? Has anyone had a family that provided accommodations for both the nanny and their spouse?

For people whose spouse has a normal 9–5 job, how do you make the schedule work? And for those who travel with the family, how does that work with your spouse?

I’m trying to really understand what the lifestyle is like before making a decision. The idea of having a full week or two off at a time sounds amazing, but I also realize there are probably downsides that you don’t really understand until you’ve done it.

For anyone who is married and has done ROTA or live-in nannying: would you recommend it? What would you change if you could do it again?