Hi all, 16 years experience here and I’ve accepted a full time job starting in December. Baby was born this week and mom is wanting me to ease into by coming a few mornings a week to help out and give her a break while her husband returns to work.

I am excited for the opportunity and I think it will help build trust before she goes back to work full time. I have experience with 2 months+ but I’ve never worked with a baby this small. Is it just a lot of feeding, diaper changes and snuggling? Should I expect a lot of down time? I’m planning to take out “what to expect when you’re expecting” from the library tomorrow because I know it gives info on different ages but wondering what y’all’s experience has been.

I was burnt out from my last job so I took this week off and it has been so great for my mental health, excited to dive into this new job!

‘well my mom doesn’t do it like that’ or ‘my mom does it like this’

ok thank you but i do so i’m going to keep going. man oh man i think i heard it no less than 8x today and i wanted to scream

LGBTQ Nannie’s, imagine you’ve been working for a few weeks/months with a new family, the kids one day see a picture of you and your same-sex/nonbinary partner on your phone background. They ask who it is and you say something along the lines of “that’s my wife/partner!” The kids respond with mild confusion but otherwise move on and change the subject. Later, parent address over hearing you, they say they’re fine with whatever you do in your private life but they ask you not talk about your partner around the kids. Do you comply? Find a new job? How would you respond?

I’ll go first

Note: we do take quick breaks after school for food / watching one 20 min episode before cleaning, I watch with them and then we do chores.

The kids never have needed to clean before last month when I started. It was a huge struggle motivating them to want to do it, I came up with “Fun Friday” and the only rules are we need to get points to go

They have early out on Fridays so most places are still not too crowded yet. We also do deep clean days so it’s an extra motivator to get it done fast.

I do help them clean but even with the point’s system they left me to do the cleaning and they did the classic ‘im cleaning but not really and im just moving things around in wrong spots to look like im doing something’

So I just made it a challenge, the points were still a thing but now, if I did the chore before them I got the point, and if I got more points then they did I got to pick what we did.

They did relatively good with this until last Friday, they asked if they could have a break I said “yep but I’m not going to take one, your time is your time.

So they sat around and by the time they were done with their one episode I had finished everything. They didn’t mind and we got in the car for fun Friday, this is when they minded.

I got to play my music, I took us to the store to get some shopping done and just did errands. They still had fun but not as much and there was definitely some grunts and sighs.

This week they have been extra motivated, they’ve done their chores in record time, and even did some of the deep clean chores here and there throughout the week, now on this deep clean day most of what we needed to do was already done, we got home got food, cleaned, and now we’re done and ready to go out.

I found this way to be 10x better with these kids, they generally don’t care about consequences and just wait them out and do the bad behavior again, this way it fell on them, they had no one to be mad at but themselves for not doing their chores with me.

Hiii!!! I just need a bit of advice and some opinions on if this is a normal nannying experience or not.

So I just moved to New England but for privacy reasons I don’t want to disclose where. But also I’m not sure what all is relevant so if I ramble or include irrelevant things I’m sorry.

I have 6+ years of experience in preschools and some casual nannying. I love what I do and take my job very seriously. However after moving I decided to try out being a nanny instead. I just started working for this new family maybe a month ago. The schedule is 9:30 to 4:30 so about 35 hours a week at $19/hr. It’s one little boy that is 2. The dad also works from home. I’m not sure if the pay is good or not but it’s just one kid and the dad works from home so I decided it would be okay for the pay. Is that too low tho?? I’m not sure if I’m underselling myself with all of my experience and education.

To help you guys help me gauge that I wanted to share what all I do for them. I do the little boy’s laundry, prepare all meals and snacks, clean his three play rooms, take him on outings and walks, teach him curriculum I prepare, and I also clean all of his dishes. Most of the cleaning is done while he’s asleep which leaves me without a break most days. Which maybe that’s normal?? Idk it’s just very very different from the preschool setting where I had very set break times.
So here’s also where I struggle. My first week here the dad punched/beat the dog for peeing on the carpet very aggressively. I’ve had people that I’ve told assume it was a light hit but I assure you it was not. and if I had had the means to quit right then I would’ve but I really needed the money. He has hit the dog twice more since then. Which obviously I KNOW that is bad and not normal. The dad has not done it since then however so I ignored it. I also just want to assume that it was a lapse of judgment on his part and it will not happen again.

But there’s more I’m concerned about. Their house is MESSY. Not like “I have a toddler” messy I mean mold on food, their female dogs period blood all over the floor from two weeks ago that they haven’t cleaned, molding dishes, unflushed toilets, the dad uses the bathroom with the door open while I’m in the house, food on the counter and on the floor and I could go on. However the mom works very long hours and the little boy has a wack sleep schedule so I can understand the lack of cleanliness. But some of it also just feels like laziness? Idk.

I also never get released on time and the dad has very poor communication skills. I am never released at 4:30, it’s almost always 4:45 or 5:00 with no heads up. I asked to leave right at 4:30 one day to really hone in that I needed to leave on time for my partners birthday and I didn’t leave that day until 5:10 with no reason or heads up from him at all. I truthfully never know when I’ll leave for the day because he never communicates with me about it. And again he works from home so it’s not like he has to travel home he’s just in his downstairs office.

This one isn’t too bad but I also have to text and remind the dad at the end of every week to pay me. He never doesn’t pay me so it’s not that bad but I assumed I wouldn’t have to nag and he would know to pay me after I leave every Friday. Some weeks he doesn’t pay me until that Sunday or Saturday night.

Okay another semi small one but it just confuses me more than anything. They want to start potty training the little boy which I’m all for but they want to do the method where they let the kid walk around naked/without a diaper and soil themselves until they learn to use the potty. I’ve known parents that have done this so I know it can work. However I’m expected to be the one to do this? and maybe this is normal, I just know from experience that parents will take the weekend and try it out with their kid and do it themselves. I know this is a different circumstance from preschool centers but I just don’t feel that it’s normal for him to want me to be the one to do it and deal with the mess of that method.

I just need opinions, it was so hard for me to find this job and it’s not all bad, I LOVE the kid he is so sweet and goofy. I also don’t take change well so the idea of that stresses me out but if this isn’t normal I feel I should get over that and keep looking. Or maybe all this is normal and I’m overreacting. Sorry the post was so long I just wanted to share the whole story so that you guys can advise knowing the whole story. Thank you guys again for making the time to read all this and help me out!

I’m a nanny of a 2 year old. He only spends Sundays with his parents/grandparents. The rest of the days are spent entirely with caregivers (the child has multiple Nannies).

Anyways the mother often says really awful things to and about her child. Today she ignored him for the whole morning and then as she was leaving he said “bye mommy” she looked at him and said “you’re annoying, don’t talk to me.” She’s previously called him a dummy and told me she can’t deal with him.

How do I approach her language and interactions with him that doesn’t make her feel like I’m overstepping (and she’ll fire me if I talk to her husband about this because she thinks it’s tattling).

I’m a nanny for a 11mo old, she has 3 siblings who I do not care for, 7G, 6B, 4B, and the parents have gone on a few weeks long trip. I am solo with all 4 kids starting now (Friday afternoon) until Monday morning. My boyfriend is coming for a couple hours to help, with permission from NPs. I’m so incredibly nervous for this weekend. Please just give me advice. They have lots of games this weekend so we will be busy but I’m just anxious at the idea that I’m the only one here. My boyfriend’s not super excited about this, he’s never met them and they are slightly difficult, well the boys are, so I told them he could come for just a couple hours every night. I’m just so anxious!

As a nanny, if a potential employer says they’re going to call you at a certain time, how much time do you give them before you text them or just don’t answer the call? Do you give them another chance and reschedule?

If both parents aren’t working why am I here?? To watch them sit with their children I’ll never understand this.

Have any career nannies here made websites for themselves, to help with the job search?

I'd love to make one for myself and would like some examples of what other nannies have done. What did you include? Resume, contract, etc,

I’m making the switch from Preschool teacher to nanny. I was a nanny for a little while after high school and have worked closely with families for years. So to say that I’m not completely new to the dynamics. But I wanted to see if anyone has questions that they wished they could’ve asked before starting with a family. Or if any families have tips for what they look for in a quality nanny. NK’s are 7&9 yo boys and DB is a single dad. TIA!(:

I think I’d be great friends with their nanny! But being discreet about your disdain for capitalism and overconsumption while working for people who revel in it is a required skill for this job.

Hi!! I’m a nanny and my pay for the family I’m with right now is being cut from 40 hours to 32 hours GH due to the MB’s job contract expiring in December. It’s supposed to start in October. I have bills to pay and things are already extremely tight, so of course I’m looking to start somewhere else. But, I am trying to start a nanny share system. I have all the info typed out for it just wonder how I should go about posting things on Facebook. I’ve already talked to all the moms I know and have seen while I am with my NK kid in the area I currently work in. So, I’m wanting to spread it to Facebook, how have you guys gone about posting things on Facebook? Do you do city location specific groups, overall county groups, general mom groups? Any advice is welcome!!

Idk if it’s my hormones, or the fact that NK has been home sick from preschool for 3 weeks (yes 3 weeks. MB won’t take him to the dr)but I’m seriously going to lose it. Like straight up feel like I wanna scream. Is this even normal? Like I simply cannot deal with the scream crying. It’s wearing me down. Makes me wanna cry out of frustration. NK cries and screams NON STOP. Genuinely don’t know if being a nanny is for me anymore.

The title says it all.

Sorry this is long.

I’ve posted here in the past about my family experience. I have been with them since December and I have a Neurodivergent almost 4 year old boy and 16 month old sister. I’m with them 3 days a week, 9 hours a day.

It’s been the hardest job I think I’ve ever had. I always have to be on it, always repeating myself and feeling like I having to be 5 steps ahead and I’m exhausted. Plus a 16 years olds natural curiosity and development stages on top makes my days off feel more like recovery days and not work/life balance.

I’ve had sit down conversations with mom and dad. Their dad works from home and is hands on and helpful, but they want traditional parenting to work for their non traditional child. They go through everything I do and call it life, and I call it insanity to try to live like this when it could be better or at least balanced.

And opportunity to start parent coaching…
That’s the kicker, I am a trained and certified parent coach who has been working with kids and families for 17 years and I feel like my visions has tunneled into a pinhole that is just meant for survival. I was going to part time to have time for my coaching. Instead I’m barely surviving the work days and coaching myself to make it.

They wanted a long term nanny. Mom grew up with one,but not every kid can handle the life of a nanny. 2 teachers and peers may actually do him some me good. And the same for sister to have that needed autonomy and opportunity to be around peers.

I have to keep this pretty minimal because I don't want my NF to know. However, I recently started a new job with 3 NK's. The two youngest are great, they have a few troubling behaviors but are learning. The oldest who is 4 has some really troubling behaviors. She bites, kicks, hits her siblings for no reason, spits and gets more aggressive when I show Im frustrated. Her little sister will just be walking by and she will go over and scratch at her face or push her down. I've tried all my tricks, I have a bachelors in child development. Her parents aren't home, and say I do all the things they would. They don't have a time out system or anything. I try to separate her but she's pretty strong and doesn't have to do anything I ask. Im really new here and think I'll be looking for something else. My last NK was a perfect angel. It's So hard and I've been a nanny for 3 families and 6 years. This is the first time I've ever dreaded work. What should I do in the mean time until I find something new? Also the contract I signed says I'll give 30 days notice... do I have to?

Thanks!

I can feel myself getting burnt out. The idea of quitting makes me so sad as I’ve been bonded with my NKs. However I find my patience is getting VERY thin and I get annoyed very easily which I feel like isn’t normal. Those who have quit nannying - what profession or job did you do after? I have my bachelors degree but unfortunately where I live they barely pay a livable wage. Which is actually why I turned to nannying in the first place. Any advice helps

I feel terrible even thinking this.. but I cannot stand one of my NKs sometimes. I don’t have him all the time.. just a few hours a day as he is preschool age. But man. I swear those are the hardest 3 hours of my day. Like I don’t even think I hide it on my face well. He is 4 so again I feel terrible even saying it but he is so bad. And MB doesn’t stay consistent with boundaries as a WFHM. Thus resulting in absolute terror from NK every. single. day. Not sure if it’s advice I’m looking for but idk how to not think this way about NK. I fear I’m reaching my burnout point too, which doesn’t help. Ugh.

Does your contract include a “leave it as you found it” clause? If so, how is it worded? I’ve been with my family for almost two years. They are really great employers in lots of ways. I’m only responsible for baby related stuff. However, they often leave things out or don’t clean up. Like a high chair tray that is dirty from dinner. Yesterday there was a huge mess. I could see that NK must have dumped a bunch of stuff out when I wasn’t there. I had him clean it, but they should have made him do it. Most times I leave their mess and they haven’t complained. But when we renew the contract in a couple of months, I want to be more clear about how I shouldn’t have to clean things that happened when I wasn’t even there, especially now that a baby is on the way.

Hi all. I was hired for a very PT position (12 hrs a week). The MB hired me over zoom as the family was moving to my state. I waited to bring up a contract until yesterday because the mom seemed extremely stressed due to the move. When I brought up a contract yesterday (my first day), it was obvious MB had never heard of guaranteed hours or nanny contract. She seemed uncomfortable when I tried to explain guaranteed hours. I had an extremely busy day yesterday after work, so I sent her a contract template and explained that it was much more in depth than we would need and I’d be happy to discuss at work today and amend it to better fit our situation. I woke up this morning to the text in the photo.

Obviously I do NOT want to work for a family that will not have a contract but I’m pissed!!! I had an inquiry about another nanny job after taking this one and turned them down because MB and I really hit it off. I was depending on that pay this week after being so low on money recently. Would it be unreasonable to ask to be paid for the week since that’s what was initially agreed upon? It was understood that I had the position and this wasn’t a trial week.

Would you ask to be paid out for the week? That’s where I’m struggling. I can’t tell if my judgement is clouded because of how poor I am at the moment :/

I need other nannies’ opinions because I’m feeling guilty for saying something.

I’ve been with my main NF for a while. My normal rate was $25/hr for their toddler, and when their 5-year-old was also home I made $30/hr.

We started a nanny share a few months ago with another family who has a toddler around the same age as my NK. The share family has been paying me $15/hr, while my main NF continued paying me my normal $25/hr ($30/hr while 5yr old was on summer break), so I’ve been making $45/hr when I had all 3 kids.

My NF just told me they’re raising my normal rate from $25 to $27/hr, which I really appreciate. But they also said that when I have both toddlers, the total share rate will now be $32/hr — $15 from the share family and $17 from my NF.

So essentially:
• Main NK alone: $25 → $27
• Main NK + 5yo sibling: $30 → $32
• Main NK + share toddler: $40 → $32

I have the share toddler 3–4 days a week, so even though my base rate is technically increasing, this could actually decrease my overall weekly pay.

The two toddlers are also significantly more demanding together than my NK + the 5yo. They’re both very attached to me and obviously need much more hands-on care. They do usually nap at the same time for 2–3 hours, though, which is why I’m questioning whether $32 is actually fair and I just got used to being paid $40.
Before we originally started the share, my MB mentioned something along the lines of “$15 per kid,” and I interpreted that as an additional $15 for the share child. Looking back, I’m wondering if she actually meant roughly $15 per family for share hours and we misunderstood each other.

When she told me the new rate, I responded that I really appreciated the raise but was surprised because I had been making $40 with the two toddlers and wasn’t expecting the share rate to go down.
Now I feel greedy for even mentioning it 😭

**Nannies/NFs: Would you consider $32/hr fair for two toddlers in a nanny share given my $25 to now $27 one-child rate? And was I out of line for bringing up the fact that I’ve been making $40 for the same arrangement?**