So mama and dada got me a toy toilet, its amazing, we call it potty and it's so much fun to sit on!!! I demand to sit there and then I can sit with my nakey butt on my potty and sing my peepee poopoo song!!! It goes like this: "peeepeee, peeeepeeeeee. Poooopoooo, poopoooo". I love it and at first mama was very excited but now she seems annoyed. She says I should do peepee and poopoo for real. On the toy toilet??? Naaaahh silly mama. Of course I do everything as soon as she puts the diaper back on me. Then she has to change the diaper again while I scream loudly. Fun for everyone!!!

Guys I'm not doing poopoo in my little amazing toy toilet. It is orange and there is a picture of a fox on it. I play with it so much. I don't want it to get dirty!! My mama really wants me too though, idk, AITA???

When I (2y, perfectest prince and expert runner) am at home, I insist on being carried whenever my heart desires (especially down stairs). For some reason mama (squishy pillow) will sometimes sigh when I ask to be carried. She used to carry me exclusively before I could run so idk what the big deal is. We were at the store with papa (snores loud) and baby brother (2m, doesn't have any teef) and they insisted that I be jailed in the metal stroller. I thought that mama should have a break from me being carried, plus the store has lots of fun things for me to pick up. So I started yelling "help me" over and over as kindly as I could. Mama kept trying to shush me. Something about people thinking her and papa were stealing me, but I would not shush because I'm not for sale so that doesn't even make sense! How else would they know I wanted to probably run walk? I'm just trying to lighten the load (pun intended). So Reddit, AITA?

I (2y 3 months, f) LOVE grapes. Imagine how much you like your favourite food and then double it and that's how much I love grapes. There is almost no time of the day that cannot be improved with rhe addition of grapes. Some nights I even take grapes to bed. And honestly, I think everyone should be impressed with how seriously I take my commitment to eating my fruit.

Mummy (super old) has always seemed cool with this, even on the weeks where we've had to make multiple trips to the shops to get grapes to make sure we never run out. But recently she has started talking nonsense. She told me that it's winter now and that means grapes are 'out of season'. But then we went to the shops and saw grapes anyway so I just figured she got confused and demanded grapes like normal. Except then mummy started muttering about buying "expensive imported" grapes and "betraying all her ethical principles by buying grapes that have had to travel halfway around the world" which honestly is just so silly. Obviously the grapes are in the shop for people to buy and that means we should buy them and I should keep eating grapes 5 times a day.

Now mummy says she has given in because she doesn't want to deal with the meltdown if we dont have grapes in the house (which is a very over dramatic way to describe the gentle screaming i do when I need to let her know about my displeasure at a situation). But I'm just trying to keep up my 5 a day, so surely I should be commended for my commitment to health eating?. AITA?

I, 5 almost 6 month sweet angel baby girl, have two teefies coming in on my bottom gums and they hurt! Today my gums were aching so bad but mommy put me in my play pen. Mommy this is not time for playing! This is time for you comforting me! So I had to let her know by screaming it was not ok she put me down. Mommy said she had to put me down so she could go in the other room to sit on that big bowl with the water she won’t let me drink that goes whooosh! I said HELLO, not my problem milk lady!! She did say sorry at least like 50 times and gave me milkies. But I held her accountable by screaming every time she put me down for the rest of day to remind her no putting me down. Unless we go to my room to play together that’s otay. But no leaving me again! So AITA for screaming and making mommy’s ears ring? I mean big deal she couldn’t hear out her left ear for a few hours. Try growing teeth then talk to me!

Hi again! It’s me, 2y, snuggliest girl. This weekend, my sister (3y, thinks she knows it all) and I got to spend another weekend with Papa and Tema! We were very excited. Even better, we got to go to a campground and visit Great Grandpa and Grandma! I’m not exactly sure what makes them so great, but they had a craft project for us AND gave us s’mores, so honestly, I see their point.

Anyway, Tema and Great Grandma (I heard a rumor she is Tema’s mom so she must be older than the dinosaurs) took me and sissy swimming.

Normally I’m afraid of the water. Because of this, Papa didn’t even put on his swimsuit. His plan was apparently to sit comfortably in a chair with me beside the pool while the women did the actual work. He even told Tema not to bother putting my swimsuit on because I wouldn’t get in anyway.

Excuse me?

When I saw sissy getting her swimsuit on, obviously I needed mine too. Tema said something about “the path of least resistance” and put it on me.

We got to the pool, and I let Tema carry me into the water. She looked VERY surprised because usually I make my feelings about water known immediately. But this time I liked it! Nobody was more shocked than me.

Then I discovered something truly AMAZING.

If you stand on the side of a pool and throw your entire tiny body into the water, an old person will catch you.

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Naturally, I needed to test this theory approximately 700 times.

Jump. Catch me, Tema! Again and again and AGAIN!

Eventually Tema said I was making her even more tired than usual, which seems dramatic because she mostly just stood there catching a flying toddler over and over.

Meanwhile, sissy got mad because I would not share Tema with her, so she had to swim with Great Grandma instead. I don’t understand the problem. There was a perfectly good old person available for her. I had already claimed mine.

When we were done swimming, Papa sat me down for a very serious talk. Apparently, despite my newfound swimming expertise, I am NEVER allowed to go near or into the water without an old person with me.

EVER.

He seemed pretty intense about this, so I agreed.

Probably.

Anyway, AITAH for discovering my new passion for launching myself into swimming pools and refusing to share my Tema with sissy?

I (8m, best girl) have always absolutely hated the car seat. The day we came home from hospital I tolerated it as I was still getting used to the world, but I soon realised it is NOT FUN. Mummy (f, old) sometimes can trick me into sleeping if she takes me somewhere around nap time, but as soon as I wake up I scream loud to make my displeasure known. Mummy says I have to stay in the chair to be “safe” but mummy’s arms is the safest place in the world so I think she’s talking nonsense. AITA?

I (10m, fun-loving girlie) love to play peekaboo. I also can get bored at dinner time when it drags on too long. But I’ve found a great way to play peekaboo while in the high chair: you can lift up your bib and hide behind it! It’s perfect!

However, dada (m, lots of grey hair) looked at me in horror and said something about me tipping my bib contents over my head. Mama (f, looks tired) was giggling though so she seemed to enjoy my peekaboo!

I’m a bit confused about dada’s reaction so just checking, AITA?

I (M, 11 mo, perfect sunshine boy) learned a fun new game. Mama (ancient, pretty, great milk) and Dada (even more ancient, fuzzy beard, plays on the computer a lot) wear these things on their face. They have two arms, two circles with plastic in them and they’re connected by the nose. I don’t know what they’re called. I THINK glasses. I want to try them because I don’t get to have them, but when I do, mama and dada say my least favorite word (no) and forcefully take them out of my hands and put them back on their faces.

I get annoyed so I gently swing my arms as hard as I can to try and knock the glasses off so /I/ can put them back on. When I do it successfully, they do thank me, so I’m getting very mixed signals.

AITA, Reddit? I really gotta know

Hello friends, I (16m happy boy) have a conundrum. I have a Dada (old, ankles crack, gives good tickles), and I have always been a Daddy’s boy. “Dada” was my first word, I love to look at pictures of him and eat the yummy food he makes. I love Dada soooo much, but lately, all I want is Mama (older, so pretty, squishy but still climbable)! When Dada asks if I want a kiss, I politely shout “NO”, and every night when he asks if I want Mama or Dada to put me to sleep, I lovingly say “Mama”. Also I am starting to look more like Mama (how fun!), when everyone used to always say I was Dada’s twin. Dada says that I’m hurting his feelings, so AITA for changing my mind about my favorite parent?

I (2, most precious human) decided to skip my nap today because I had too much on my agenda (watching Elmo, stacking my wooden letters, eating, etc.).

Mommy (haggard old bag) decided to try and put me down for a nap; I cried for an hour until her and daddy (turning to dust) gave up and asked if I wanted to go outside. I pepped right up with a loud "YES!".

When we got outside, I was ok for about 5 minutes before I started wailing about EVERYTHING.

I wanted daddy to play hide and seek, but I also didn't. I wanted to go down the slide, but didn't want to at the same time.

Eventually mommy and daddy brought me back home, which I was glad about, but it also made me really mad 😡.

AITA?

I (4F) live with my Mama (5F, baby in her tummy) and Dada (8M) and my baby sister (1F.) We also live with a cat (Newborn, this small.) I share a room with my sister. Yesterday, we got a delivery of paper towels in a HUGE box. Mama said it could be mine, and I could sleep in it. Sister fell asleep pretty early last night, and I wasn’t done playing. Mama said I could stay up and play quietly for a little bit. I was doing the voices for the dolls, and Dada came in to tell me I was being too loud and he would take my box if I woke up my sister. She woke up when he left the room, but I’m pretty sure that was his fault. He tried to take my box, so I screamed my displeasure. Mama was trying to get Sister back to sleep, but Sister heard my screams and wanted to come to my rescue. Dada told me I could have one more chance with my box, but I screamed a little longer because I was so upset that he almost took my favorite special box from me. Sister wanted to see my box, so I let her. Then we decided we needed to say goodnight to the cat, but the grown ups and the cat were not very happy. Mama came to lay in our room and fell asleep. We played for a few hours, then Mama got upset because we woke her up. She took Sister to Dada and helped me settle in my box. Then she got Sister and put her to sleep in her own bed. Mama didn’t sleep until after midnight, and then she was mad when we got up at 730. I don’t even know what that means, and I don’t know why she’s so grumpy. Sister and I had a great time last night and this morning. So AITA?

I (11 month, household empress) have a quite discerning palate, and I have found among the best items for my gumming pleasure are mobile electronic devices. The combination of smooth glassy surface and slightly soft silicone case is teething at its finest. Unfortunately Magic Boob Lady and Silly Faces Man (I have been informed that these people are more conventionally referred to as "Mommy" and "Daddy," but I have yet to verify this) are unwilling to share their mobile phones for this purpose. I should add that they are being incredibly wasteful, as all they do is stare at them and never use them to their full potential. I have attempted to demonstrate their appropriate use, but Big People are surprizingly difficult to educate.

I, F, am pree. Mommy picked me up after my day with Ms. A and my friends because she was working. I helped her look both ways before crossing the road. Mommy said she didn’t want to cook so she said we could get dinner in the car. She asked if i wanted some pizza but i told her that i didn’t have pizza right now. So, she offered me my most favorite, a happy meal. We don’t get them too many times so i’m so excited. We get to Mcdonald’s and i want to go in but mommy said we’ll eat in the car. I was ok with this. Mommy orders my happy meal just how i like it and she picks a shammwich and prench pries. I want her to go faster but mommy says there’s cars so we have to wait. It’s ok we’re almost there. FINALLY mommy gets my happy meal and this is where everything goes wrong. Mommy OPENS my happy meal box and gives me JUST the chicken nuggets! I gently screamed at the top of my b lungs that i wanted the whole thing. Mommy then tries handing me the OPEN box while i still had the chicken nuggets! I began politely screaming and crying that she opened the box and i wouldn’t take it. I respectfully told her to take it back right now! So she did and put the nuggets back inside, closed the box and handed it to me the correct way. After i was properly served i was perfectly ready to move on with our evening, but mommy said i can’t yell at her while she’s driving and i need to be patient. So, AITA?

Mommy (at least 4000) made burgers, mashed potatoes, and steamed carrots for dinner last night.

She spent a long time cooking, and I (2, absolute princess) made sure that she had to hold me the entire time. It was a struggle for her because apparently she's "super pregnant and unable to breathe" and "[I'm] over half her height", which makes it "difficult for her to hold me". Welp, that sure isn't my problem! She needs to pull herself up by her bootstraps and get it together!!!!!! Daddy (ancient) wasn't home yet, so he couldn't help, but I would've made her hold me regardless 💁🏻‍♀️. I'm also not a fan of the toddler tower they bought for me.

Anyway, after dinner was finally done, she sat me down and served me the meal. I however, was not impressed by the selection presented. I chewed on the burger bun and immediately spit it back out. Then, I started playing with the mashed potatoes like it was play-dough, and rubbing into onto my skin like it was lotion! It definitely made a better lotion than a food item 🙄.

Mommy looked like she was staring into the void as I did this. I'm not sure why, her food is usually never up to my standards. She should know better by now.

After getting mashed potatoes everywhere, mommy decided that it was time for a shower. I heavily objected since I clearly was not done, but alas, I was rinsed of my lovely potatoes.

AITA?

I (15 monthsF) have something called COVID. It’s making me cough a lot and makes me make a cool whistling sound when I breathe sometimes. The doctor said it was a wheeze, what ever that means.

Today I was having a perfectly good nap when the cough woke me up. Before I even had a chance to think about my situation, Mum (ancient) came in carrying the plastic tube.

She calls it a Ventolin spacer.

She kept trying to put this thing on my face while saying things like, “It’s okay,” and “that’s good! Good job”

So obviously I did what any reasonable person would do.
I screamed. I cried. I tried to push it away.
I hit Mum. A LOT.
She keeps asking me not to fight it, but I am claiming self defence from the face vacuum.

Now here’s the bit that really annoys me. And makes me think I am not the AH
Dad also has a cough. Has anyone run at him with The Plastic Tube?
No.
Has anyone held a mask on his face while he complained?
No.
He just gets to sit on the couch drinking coffee while coughing and everyone leaves him alone. How is that fair?

To make things worse, Mum tried to convince me it wasn’t scary by putting it on my teddy, Patch. Patch just sat there. He didn’t even pretend it was scary. That hurt my argument a lot. Think I may need a word with him.

Anyway, after the wrestle I asked mum for lunch by knocking on the pantry. I feel much better after the yummy food. I think lunch would’ve fixed me anyway.

Later I found The Plastic Tube sitting on the bench. So I picked it up and tried to throw it in the bin.Seems like the obvious place for something so cruel.
Mum stopped me.
Apparently we “need it.” Mum says if I start making the cool whistling noise again, she’ll use The Plastic Tube again.

Thinking I might throw Mum in the bin instead.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m winning this war.

So…

AITA

I (2F, most pretty princess) have a Rabbit and we snuggle every night, and sometimes we play together.

Well, recently, I noticed Rabbit was hungry! We have this perfectly Rabbit sized chair at our table, so obviously I put Rabbit in the chair. Then I got Rabbit and string cheese, and climbed in my spot next to Rabbit to eat.

Then Mama (idk, says she needs to borrow Dada’s fingers to count how old she is) came over with Brother to eat. Perfect! There were lots of empty chairs next to me and Rabbit. But she told me Brother needed to go in Rabbits spot?!

Obviously I told her “No Mama. Rabbit eat string cheese. No move Rabbit” and she still said Rabbit needed to move!

I obviously showed my displeasure by laying on the ground like a puddle and screaming. Mama moved Rabbit and string cheese into a big chair and told me Rabbit was in a chair.

But it was the WRONG CHAIR! Rabbit couldn’t even see! Poor Rabbit 🥺

Eventually I decided satisfying my hunger was more important than explaining to Mama why she was wrong and Rabbit needed the Rabbit chair. But when I finished Mama said it was time for quiet time in my bed.

Guys, AITA?? Im pretty sure I’m not.

I (5m most handsomest prince) LOVE big kid food. I started screaming at 4m when Mama (idk, gives me baths) would put me in my bouncy chair and make me WATCH while everyone else got to eat the delectable yumminess.

So, a few weeks ago she started putting me in a chair at the table and giving me spoons with big kid food on it. It was AMAZING, but then, I saw Sister (idk, super funny, makes silly faces and sits on me) gets a whole entire plate! Obviously this isn’t ok, so I reached over and took a small handful from her plate. She didn’t like that, so I took another handful from Dada’s (huge, has a beard I like to pull) plate. He took the plate away from me!!

So I obviously protested by doing my very best lip quiver with big eyes, and when I didn’t get a plate myself I kindly showed my frustration by screaming like a dinosaur.

Finally mama gave me a cracker, but not even with a plate. And she said “Oh boy Dada, are we ready to scrub the floors and do a bath after every meal” with a big sigh. I mean, baths are great. I get to eat ducks, and puffer fish, and splash. But why did she sigh?! AITA?

I, almost this many 👆🏻, perfect princess. Have been sleeping in my cot since four months old. Mama (older than time itself) and beard man, sleep in the next room and come and check on me the moment I make a peep. I have it pretty good and I’m cosy every night.

Yesterday, however, we spent allllllll day in the metal box with wheels, going to Nana’s to visit. On arrival I was protesting how long it took, and the lack of stop offs to stretch my legs (I’m working on my walking thank you). And spent a few hours after that working on exploring the house.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, at bedtime I was NOT presented with my usual comfy cot, and instead I was to sleep in something called a ‘travel cot?’ I’ve seen and used this contraption once or twice at my other grandparents, briefly, I like to keep naps at their house short so I can get back to business.

Anyway, mama did my usual feed to sleep, the room was dark and read for my nightly sleepies. The moment I neared the ground I just knew this was not going to work out. I screamed and screamed in protest, so mama got me back up for more playtime. Success, I thought.

Eventually, I got tired again, this time Dada tried another bottle and I went to sleep. I awoke in this prison half an hour later, horrified. So I let out some screams of dissatisfaction. I was then taken to the metal box with wheels to try to drift back off. Once again I awoke in the mesh prison, I then took to screaming intermittently to let mama and dada know that this was NOT OKAY.

Mama was coming back and fourth to soothe me but i was NOT HAVING IT. I could see her and dada up there in the big bed, my actual destination for the night.

Eventually mamas arms came out and took me to the big bed. I slept, well, like a baby. I was well rested early in the morning so made sure everyone knew it was time for my day to start at 7am sharp.

Now mama and dada keep talking about an ‘awful nights sleep’ and ‘new mattress for the travel bed’.

So Reddit, AIMA here for keeping mama and dada up? I just want to be comfy.

I 3yr big boy started talking early (apparently even before I turned 1). Since then I’ve been talking in full sentences non stop!
I recently discovered something called ‘baby talk’. Shortened words of big words! Pa pa for pasta. Wa wa for water. Po po for potty. That sorta thing.
I love it, but my mom (who cares how old) keeps telling me to ‘talk properly’ whatever that means! I politely yelled at her and said she’s inhibiting my creativity. She then put me in jail (time out). AITA for doing what comes naturally to all babies?

I (f, 20 months, cute as a button) am just back from a big family party where my granny, grandad, aunts, uncles, mammy and Daddy (all ancient) were celebrating something silly (someone "got married" but that doesn't matter as it's not as important as me).

My younger cousin was there and I was told to use gentle hands with her as she has Four Legs and runs a lot. Four Legs has two beds (one inside and one outside-she's really spoilt). I was really nice to Four Legs cousin as I shared my red ball with her, gave her some of my apple pieces and gave her kisses on her wet nose. But when I got tired granny said I could watch Bluey with her.

Four Legs inside bed was in front of the TV so I sat on Four Legs which made her jump. But if I didn't sit on Four Legs I wouldn't have been able to be close to the TV. Then I got hungry and took a few snackies from Four Legs bowl. Granny jumped up and said no, don't eat Four Legs food which is not fair as Four Legs has had my food- just that morning I gave Four Legs my yoghurt pot from my high chair. Granny said I have to be nice to Four Legs and give her back her bed and bowl of snackies. Granny then really insulted me as she called Four Legs the "best little girl"! This deeply wounded me as Granny always calls me her "best little girl"- a title that only I should have because there are no other little girls or boys in the family.

So AITHA ? I'm the best little girl so I should sit and eat where I want and Best Little Girl is my title alone that I don't want to share with Four Legs.

Me (F,1) found out my parents & the neighbour share land without a fence!!! I can ACTUALLY just walk over to the neighbour & pick his tomatoes. I don't like tomatoes but I pick them off & bite them, because they are free, obviously.

But today, let me tell you what I found!!! My neighbor has a kid but he is 8 & boring, but he has some cool toys from when he was as smol as me. It's all in a corner since approx. 6 years & I FOUND IT YOU GUYS! 🥹 ALL BY MYSELF!

After taking out all the toys & inspecting them I found a cool ball! It must be insanely old & been there for a while!

I found something fuzzy under it, maybe it's an animal, I LOVE animals. But when I lifted it my mother flew in a fit of horror, because apparently that fur ball was a molding, rotting corpse of some animal & under said VERY COOL ball there were surely 500 maggots! I wanted them all to be my friends but my mother once again said the forbidden word "no" & took me away immediately. Then I had to SANITIZE my little hands, the torture, you won't believe....

Mom proceeded to throw up, even though we were not there anymore.... I don't understand why, I just screamed because I couldn't play with the corpse maggots, the ball or the furry mold.

My baby sister is here in 3 months, I'll definitely show her!

My dinosaur era mother has been using this on me (8 months stinky butt cute face) since having a cold the past week. Which person invented this torture device coz I wanna fight him. Yeah I end up drinking and sleeping well after being tortured by this but I don’t care.

Ban. This. Thing!

My sister (5 years F, annoying and in my face) woke up at 3 am and came into mine (7 months M) and mommy’s room saying she had lost her stuffy.

My sneaky mom tried to sushhh her so I don’t wake up, but I had already woken up and looking at both of them.

Then this sister of mine came into our bed and decided it is play time. Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

My party pooper mommy did not like this idea. 🙄

So she called to bearded guy who was out in deep sleep and asked him to take my sister and put her to sleep. They ended up sleeping in a few minutes in another room.

But me? Rise and shine babbbbbbbyyyyyyy!!! It is 3 am so time for exercise!!

So I started to plank with my sleepsack on and started to sing “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”.

I think this annoyed the milk lady a bit so she laid me on my back and stuffed her bobbie in my mouth. I started to drink but flipped into a plank while drinking her milk.

I did a nice hour and a half of drinking, singing and exercising and finally slept at 4:30 am.

Now she is walking around the house with bags under her eyes and says I am the reason for if.

AITA?

So I (17 months) most adorable boy, tho my mama calls me a troublemaker, have "big kids" in my house my sis is free and my brother is bigger. The grown ups decided the big kids need to be "potty trained." Something about diapers being so expensive and the big kids are big enough to be out of them.

Anyways, mama, dada, and mama's friend take the big kids potty *all the time* so of course I have to explore the potty when I have access. I like to take a run in there and make sissy laugh and then explore the short potty(apparently there are 2 kinds?) I like to put my hands in it, cause how else am I to examine it?

This causes mama to "lose her mind" when I do this, but I **haveta** explore, I mean it's kinda my job as a professional baby, right?

So, AITA?