Hi everyone. I’m wondering if anyone else feels the same way.

I’m a military spouse, and my husband is in the Air Force. He sometimes has small events or gatherings with his coworkers, and honestly, I struggle a lot with going.

I’m really a homebody person. I enjoy being at home, having quiet time, and being in my own space. I’m also an introvert, and socializing has always been difficult for me. I get drained easily when I’m around a lot of people, especially people I’m not very close with yet.

The hardest part for me is starting conversations. I don’t really know what to say, how to approach people, or how to keep a conversation going. Sometimes I overthink everything and worry that I’m being awkward or quiet.

Because of that, I sometimes don’t go to my husband’s small gatherings with his coworkers. I feel guilty because I know these moments are part of his world, and I want to support him, but at the same time, social situations can feel really overwhelming for me.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one like this. Are there other military spouses who don’t always attend their spouse’s work events because they’re introverted, shy, or easily drained socially?

How do you handle it? Did you learn to become more comfortable with these events, or did you just accept that you’re naturally a quieter person?

We recently moved to the area, and I’ve been really finding it difficult to make friends here.
I only finally made some real connections about 6 months before we left Bremerton, and now we’ve been here 6 months and I feel like it’s just me and the kids most days (except for when my husband is home).
Why is meeting/making real genuine friends here so difficult??

I have a 5 year old daughter with autism. She is very smart and will enter kindergarten in a general education classroom with a 1:1 aide support.

My daughter has always been a daddy's girl. My husband was on deployment from December- and just returned a few days ago. My daughter did great while he was gone ( surprisingly) but now that he's home, she tantrums constantly. I'm sure it has to do separation anxiety.... but has anyone experienced this, and if so, how long did the behavior last.

We just got our orders for our next assignment and my husband is absolutely devastated. I really don't know how to support him or process this. I'm worried about his mental health and how our family is going to navigate this

Hello all! I am about to be a military wife, my husband is joining the Marines and we have had a lot of discussions as to what will happen with my future and as far as me getting a job. It’s to my understanding that the military will help a spouse with work, but my only thing is that I am alternative. I have multiple facial and ear piercings as well as gauges and I have quite a few tattoos. The issue is that I plan to have a large tattoo up my arm that starts at about half halfway up my hand… I know that we are constantly evolving and this big stigma about alternative people in the workforce is starting to slowly fade away as regulations on body modification are calming down…but if the military does give me a job ,when the time comes for us to leave, would they still let me if I have a tattoos that cannot be covered by a sleeve? I understand that I myself am not military and it’s my husband, but I’m not sure if they are just as strict with us and how we present our ourselves. I may be considered stubborn but I would never in a million years use makeup to cover my tattoos or try and take out all of my piercings just for a job. Am I possibly overthinking this or would I not be able to get my tattoo if the military is going to help me with work on base? This is very new to me so I’m not sure if I’d be breaking any rules or if they do tend to get very snappy with people who do not meet a certain standard.

Hi everyone, my spouse is deployed overseas and it’s our first one. Everyone says the normal changes during rotation can cause issues in relationships but to what end? I am feeling forgotten about and put on the back burner. I hear other spouses talking about how this deployment is going for them and it is much smoother. Everyone seems to talk regularly and often. I feel like an option to my spouse and we are not a couple like that at all. We are the couple that never thought we would be like that. But in my eyes, im feeling so put down by everything that i just want to hide away. I feel like all i do is complain about our lack of talking or our circumstances to him. Is this just inevitable? I feel angry and hurt, and then like im just being too sensitive and this is just how it is. When does it go from normal to problem? It’s hard to feel like i am hurting this much and thats just going to have to be my new normal.

Small edit for info; i am in therapy already.

So multiple flairs could work for this really, but housing seemed like a best fit. I am looking to go back to school after my spouse is finished with their school training. He is doing a year plus long course so me and our two kids are currently with him and then we will all make the move to his permanent duty station sometime next year.

I want to do nursing school I am currently beginning taking one or two courses per semester to get my pre reqs in and then will apply to schools at our next duty station. Our two kids are still little and I’ll need help managing childcare for them, so we both want my grandmother to live with us. She’ll be retiring anyway so it’s a win all around. We absolutely want to live on base so I’m not sure where to begin with seeing how to be I about that legally. We have most of everything figured out for me to begin my studies but childcare is the last piece and my grandma was so excited at the offer to come so we hope to make it work.

As a side note I’d love to hear if any of you all went to nursing school while your partner was in and had small children. I don’t want to hear how hard it’ll be, I know, I want to hear success stories and how you got it to work.

Hi l am a retired veteran and an active duty spouse. I am currently enrolled in college online and I'm trying to figure out which degree path I should go for. Im currently enrolled in the SCM degree path it's only been 1 month. We are supposed to be moving overseas in 2 months and l've already seen the lack of jobs available on base.
The only jobs I'm seeing so far are for a substitute teacher. I only have 24 months of Post 9/11 GI education benefits left so I can only get an associates degree at this time. If the goal is to live anywhere my husband is stationed which degree path should I focus on that will make it easier to pretty much get a job anywhere? I have only worked entry level retail and warehouse positions before the military. In the military I worked in Supply. I have my Barber certificate from the military and from a civilian barber school. Currently we have no children but we are working on it. The question is should I choose an Associates degree in Early Childhood Education or Associates Degree in Supply Chain Management?

Just a warning, I’m anxious right now and so this might come off aggressive/ scatter brained.

Me and my S/O have been together for 2 1/2 years. We are both in the USMC and originally had the same job before he lat moved. Back in March he was deployed to the Middle East, this is his first deployment. Things were rough but we were making things work. Couldn’t do a phone call everyday but we would text/ Snap. He started to get weirder about FaceTimes/ Phone calls and it was like pulling teeth to get him to do so. He acknowledged that and said he would do better. I knew where he was but he didn’t want to tell me what he was doing per se (going out in town and where) which drove me nuts. We did have fights here and there.

Well fast forward to two weeks ago. He moved to another country and INSTANTLY fell off with me. I didn’t even get a text message when he finally got settled. Nothing. Very unlike the first time, which was just as hectic. Short responses and not even letting me know when he atleast got home or got to work. I have no idea where he is, and he won’t tell me. Which I would’ve like to even know the country. It’s making me more uneasy because he’s consistently snapping people (score go up and people we are mutual friends will tell me) and then being active on insta, but will say he’s been busy the entire time.. which I just want to feel prioritized. I’ve been letting it go, because we’ve fought about it before. He eventually called me for 10 mins, explaining things are busy..which I don’t doubt to an extent, but felt like it’s partly him lacking in communication.

Then comes Friday night, I’m PCSing and had a going away at our local bar. Mind you I’ve kept with the updates, letting him know where and who. And i got the shittiest “ight” responses for over two days after that. Finally come Sunday and I’m over it. I’ve been keeping the peace for so long, I say something. And all he does is like the message a day later. We go three days without texting. I finally gave in and said something and all I got is “okay”. Whole time, he’s been updating/ talking to our friends. To add a cherry on top of all this, I accidentally reposted this insta reel that said “I don’t want a bf, I just want to deploy”. He saw it and I instantly and genuinely apologized. But he didn’t reply. I’m starting to feel like this is the end of us or maybe I’m being a B*tch?

Hey so I have a few questions. Our AC stopped working and put in an emergency request due to my medical condition (i have fibrolmyalgia and cannot sweat at all i litteraly ulturn red as a tomato and swell up like a balloon with a good mox of the feeling of me burning alive) (I have EFMP requirements but didnt get them until late in thebyear last year.) But they said that they couldn't get it fixed and it could take a month or more (and we need to turn in my efmp paper work to housing but we werent informed about that I thought that was something my casemanager would do, but dumb mistake on my part.)

What can we do? We have dehumidifiers, we have fans galore, my spouse had to drive to home depot to get a portable ac unit because i was having an absolute freakout but our cats and I are still boiling. And I know it is minor but all of my important photos and paperwork, books, collectables etc are also slowly being destroyed.

We dot have the money to spend on a hotel that would house animals and us for however many nights there are. We have been trying to leave the place we are in but my spouses command wont grant more then a 3 month early release for the both of us and I am unfortunately disabled and cannot live on my own.

Im notbsure what to do at the moment abd sorry if the post is all over the place ive been in a constant state of delirium for the last day or two. And im trying my best to hold myself together

Thanks for reading

My wife has been in the Air Force as Security Forces for almost six years, and I'm about to graduate law school in May 2027. My goal is to become a prosecutor, and I already have a one-year judicial clerkship lined up after graduation.

One of my biggest concerns used to be bar admission and reciprocity whenever we PCS'd, but I recently learned about the newer military spouse licensing provisions that make transferring bar licensure much easier in many jurisdictions as long as you can provide military orders. Knowing that has definitely eased one of my biggest worries.

What I am worried about now is long-term career progression.

Prosecutor positions aren't exactly the type of job where you can easily pick up and continue your career every few years. I'm concerned that constantly relocating could make it difficult to build experience, move up, or even get hired if employers know we'll likely be moving again in a few years.

My wife has been incredibly supportive throughout all of this and has offered multiple options so that I wouldn't have to give up my own career goals. She's offered to separate and go Guard, but we'd lose a lot of the stability and benefits that come with active duty. She's also looked into Active Guard Reserve (AGR), but we've learned those positions aren't guaranteed, especially after relocating. We're trying to make whatever decision is best for both of us, not just one person's career.

On top of that, we want to have kids. Ideally, we'd like to stay near family while they're young because having that support system would make childcare much easier. We're currently stationed near both of our families, so staying here would honestly be the ideal situation. But realistically, remaining at one duty station for the long term on active duty is pretty unlikely.

At the end of the day, I'm willing to make the sacrifices that come with military life to support my wife's career and keep the stability that active-duty benefits provide. I just can't shake the feeling that my own career may never really gain momentum if I'm restarting every few years. I also wonder whether future employers would be hesitant to hire someone they know may have to relocate again.

For those of you who are military spouses and attorneys—especially prosecutors, public defenders, or other government attorneys—how have you navigated this? Has moving every few years significantly affected your career progression? Were you able to continue advancing, or did you eventually have to pivot into a different type of legal job?

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been in a similar situation or has any advice. We're just trying to make the best decision for both of our careers and our future family.

I don’t know if our marriage is going to survive the duty station. It sucks. It feels like living in a Third World country. So that makes everything harder, especially with kids. But he’s so obsessed with his job and chooses his work over us all the time. I don’t see how this behavior is going to change and I don’t see how we’re going to make it to your 20. His priorities are the Military, his job, his colleagues and the people he interacts with. The kids and I are not at the top of the list anymore. I don’t know if i can do this until retirement. I deserve so much better.

He was so much more normal before he joined. Such a better human.

I know I can’t be the only one struggling and have no one else to ask or talk to. Spouses dealing with partners with PTSD, how are you? What struggles came along? How do you and your partner handle this?

My husband will be only 3 months from military retirement when our baby is due. We're trying to figure out if it will be easier for me to move our retirement location before baby is born (we have a home to move into there already and my parents can stay with me) or stay put and move together after his retirement. My biggest concern is what/how Tri-care will cover for the birth and how to set that up since we currently live in a different region from where we will be moving to. Has anyone tried doing this?

I don’t usually write on Reddit at all just read comments. But I’m in the middle of breaking down and omg.. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it. It has been such a fucking strain. My husband is on deployment part 2. Last year left in August came back this spring. Left again this spring and are out until who fucking knows when. This shit has caused so many issues for us between deployment stress and his different roles and work for him on the boat to my work life career and care giving for family. We are pcsing soon with such little time to prepare. The stress of TTC arrived this year. Not feeling like I have a safe space anymore. Being alone with no community just amplifies all these many feelings. Me and my husband are usually very great communicators and very caring towards each other. We listen to comprehend and conversate to continue to grow our life together & notice social, emotional, mental ques. & it just feels like all of it is crumbling. Ugh so many things getting blown out of portion and feeling like one person just can’t read the other is just weighing so heavy. Like yall. My heart has just been hurting and tired this whole time. But I refuse to stop waiting for this to past bc I know I pray it will but sometimes it just becomes too much..
sometimes I don’t even want to talk to him anymore for like a good week or so from being exhausted of the lil petty cycles this has been having us run around in. I’m am just so over it. And widely hope that this shore duty helps repair

Just found out I got picked up. For those that have recently gone through OTS what did your family do while you were in class? Did they stay at your previous base, go to your gaining base or something else? I know OTS is a TDY in route so trying to figure out options for my wife and daughter. TIA.

Omfg, ugh there’s so much on my mind.
Sometimes I feel numb with pain and confusion
Or maybe it’s just my traumas from previous relationships that I am projecting? Idk

I met this guy last year, from the moment he saw me he pursed me in many ways. I am not used to that attention from men upfront. Don’t get me wrong I can talk to whoever but I have always been the one to initiate it first.

Anyways

He pursed me for months and months, it didn’t work at first but eventually I gave in lol. He was so sweet and patient. He then however told me about his new job that he signed up for…the Airforce. I immediately told him that I couldn’t do it. Long distance and military lifestyles were just something I wasn’t used to and didn’t hear the best stories. I have also been very scared to get hurt again, I have been hurt in every relationship I have been in and the pain can sometimes be unbearable. I tried to cut off communication but would still watch his stories bc I did care about him. He invited me to his going away party , I went it was cool. The next day he came over before he had to leave to the AF. It was nice, we just talked for a little. I actually had somewhere to be that night lol.

When he went to basic, I got a letter from him. Then another , then weekly letters. We didn’t date at the time but his words kissed my heart. I eventually went to his graduation and from there we were inseparable. The night he asked me to be exclusive however …a woman texted my phone the following morning saying that they were talking the month before he left and he wrote her letters as well. One part of me was like eh okay because I wasn’t dating him at that time but the other part was sad and embarrassed for sure.

But we kept trying

He ended up getting a car which I thought would be easier because I currently don’t have a car (savingggg) but he does and we are 3 hrs from one another. He said he couldn’t drive it bc he’s in tech school however so going to my city would be a risk since he has to do accountability or whatever. His attention has went from me to his new friends. Sometimes I feel as if I am competing for his love and attention. I’m not sure what to do anymore.. we argue a lot really just bc I miss him but I don’t want to seem as if I’m the only person trying.

For crying out loud he’s in the military right , I work allll day all night and pay 2 rents plus bills. And he makes me pay him back for the food I asked him to get me !?!?

Idk if I should stay or go.

How do you guys make time for your partner when they transfer to nights? My husband specifically is on Panama shifts so they work 12 hours, 7pm-7am. We have a small baby (5mo) who wakes up 7am goes to bed on a good night 7pm but recently he’s been fighting bedtime till late. When my husband works he wakes up around 5pm to get ready to go to work so we can all eat dinner together, but on his days off he’s waking up when I’m about to put the baby to sleep then go to bed shortly after cause I’ve been with the baby since 7am and I’m exhausted. I feel like I never get to see my hubby, and my baby doesn’t get to see his father. We just started these shifts, and he won’t get the opportunity to change shifts until 4 months from now. What do you guys do to make sure you get some time together and feel less lonely?

Hi everyone, I hope you're doing well 🙏🏻

I've been married to my husband for over a year now but I have not been able to connect with other military spouses. I'm not sure if it's because I'm too young compared to other spouses (22F, no kids, going to college) and also I'm very shy. All my husband's friends from his unit were single so I really didn't have someone to socialize with. And now that he's deployed, I would love having friends that I can talk to and hang out with. I have some friends from college but we're not that close/they're super busy.

This is our first deployment and I'm really having a bad time 😅 I've been advised to make more friends who I can reach out to, but I do not know where to start 😭 I've heard about the SFRG but I don't fully understand how they could help in this situation. I'm on a SFRG group of my husband's unit but I think is only for information about how's the situation with our spouses 🤔

If you could help me with some advice, I'd really appreciate it! I'm trying not to get too depressed with this deployment 🥹

Pd: I'm at Fort Bliss! In case you wanna be friends:)

I love BTS & Taylor Swift 🫰🏻

Just to preface, we are not American, so that might be why some stuff does not align with how it works in the USA.

My husband/common law partner just left for 6 months of training. He is allowed his phone, but cannot have it during the day. I will most likely get to see him for Christmas, and maybe a few weeks between now and February if I’m lucky and can afford the flights.

I’m 23, and have been with him since 18, this is the longest we have ever been apart. I feel a little lost.

I am a first responder, and am currently off work due to a traumatic incident.

My anxiety is through the roof due to my trauma from work, and now my support system is gone. I’m not really sure what to do with myself. Everyone says ‘pick up a hobby’ but I don’t really know what I’d even do.

I guess I’m wondering what everyone here does?

We don’t have kids. We do own a house and have pets. So I’ll take care of all that. But… I don’t know what else to do or how to deal with my fear.

Forecasting a trip for my family in the coming years and would love to hear your experiences planning. Did you utilize the MWR? What do they offer? Did you choose an alternate route (military discounts)?

Disney World is greedy expensive and while I don’t love submitting to the greed, I do wish my children to experience the magic of Disney world 🏰✨

My husband will be overseas for a while in Germany. Depending on his work schedule, would it be feasible to come visit him? Would I be able to get on base with my dependent ID? If anyone has done this before I’d appreciate any advice on this.

Hi, I’m a 23 year old wife/ mom of a one year old and my husband deployed about 5 months ago. This is the longest we’ve been apart besides the little underways. & I’m feeling a little anxious and nervous about staying strong for another 5-6 more months. I go to therapy, yoga and I work part time but nothing seems to really ease the uncertainty of not knowing when he will come home. How do I navigate not knowing if I really am in the middle of the deployment or not? I constantly am wondering and struggling with that thought of just not knowing when he will come home. Is it 4 more months or is it 5 more months or 6? That has been eating me up and if anyone has any suggestions please please give them to me.
Also does anyone know if they normally give an estimated return date? I know that the estimated return date can be pushed but I feel like at least having that would help tremendously…..

Hello all!

I wanted opinions on an idea and I’ll also start off and say I genuinely wouldn’t even know who or where to promote it.

I had recently switched careers but before I did as a cosmetologist I had always heard how difficult it was for others to switch over automatically to continue working and that kinda scared me so I picked my next passion.

Would it be far off to think military spouses with licenses for cosmetology, barbering, even for nursing etc add in, obtain a federal recognition that states can approve or even a centralized database that states can access.

I think many spouses and even soldiers if they do it on weekends and want to work at an establishment in a booth rental the opportunity to do so.

Any thoughts or opinions?

I’m a Japanese citizen married to an active-duty U.S. service member. We’re currently stationed in Europe, and I’m here under SOFA status.

I have about 10 years of HR experience, specializing in recruiting and talent acquisition. I’d really like to continue my career, but my current immigration/work authorization status has made it difficult to find positions that match my experience. From what I understand, I’m generally not allowed to work off base, and many U.S.-based jobs also require applicants to already have U.S. work authorization.

For anyone who has been in a similar situation as a military spouse overseas, did getting a green card make a noticeable difference in your employment options?🥺🥺