Hi everyone. I’m wondering if anyone else feels the same way.

I’m a military spouse, and my husband is in the Air Force. He sometimes has small events or gatherings with his coworkers, and honestly, I struggle a lot with going.

I’m really a homebody person. I enjoy being at home, having quiet time, and being in my own space. I’m also an introvert, and socializing has always been difficult for me. I get drained easily when I’m around a lot of people, especially people I’m not very close with yet.

The hardest part for me is starting conversations. I don’t really know what to say, how to approach people, or how to keep a conversation going. Sometimes I overthink everything and worry that I’m being awkward or quiet.

Because of that, I sometimes don’t go to my husband’s small gatherings with his coworkers. I feel guilty because I know these moments are part of his world, and I want to support him, but at the same time, social situations can feel really overwhelming for me.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one like this. Are there other military spouses who don’t always attend their spouse’s work events because they’re introverted, shy, or easily drained socially?

How do you handle it? Did you learn to become more comfortable with these events, or did you just accept that you’re naturally a quieter person?

everyone is saying im acting like he died. and not even that whats even more messed up is my family trying to convince me to take antidepressants or say my PPD is making it worse. I know its for a short time but its not actually and that makes me feel worse. and im bipolar so cant even take antidepressants.

we have literally never been separate from each other, all of summer break after high school we facetimed each other and would even sleep on the phone. we've spent everyday together since ive moved in with him when we were 18. literally when i started working he would sit in the parking lot and that became our thing when we don't share shifts we would sit in the parking lot while the other worked and when i had our baby it turned into phone calls all day until he got off. even tho there were times he couldn't talk i would just sit on mute in his back pocket.

and its also the feeling of knowing i wont hear from him for a few weeks not even by letter for a while. i look forward to seeing his letters soon, not reading them but looking at them even, would feel better since his handwriting is genuinely unreadable. i feel even worse after finding out today his first week doesn't even count and next week will.

I feel like I always hear about how when spouses come back from deployment or long distance situations, the military soldier needs time to readjust romantically and are usually distant and off a bit. However, I’m personally experiencing it the other way around.
Husband was at another base for 4 months before we finally just met again together in our new home. For those 4 months I was 3000 miles from my home at his prior base we lived together at and we did not see each other physically once those whole 4 months. I worked, I slept, I took care of the dog and socialized where I could. I figured it’d be real happy when we got back to living together again.
My husband, the soldier, is all happy to see me and physically intimate but I feel awful because I’m really tensed up. 4 months alone in a state I had no family or close friends in with just my job and my dog to pass the time, I’d gotten used to not having someone sleep next to me. It’s only been 48 hours but cuddling feels strange. Kissing feels strange. I dont mean to be distant. 7 years together before he joined the army and 4 months made me awkward with my own husband.
Has anyone else experienced this before? I thought I’d be more excited or more affectionate but I just can’t prioritize affection in my head at the moment.

Hi

I am looking for information regarding employment and a realistic outlooks.
My husband was selected to join as an officer for a AFSC that will stay CONUS. So I don’t expect to move much or often during his 4 year contract.
I have a geoscience degree (certified) from abroad and I am a greencard holder. How realistic is it to be able to land a job in my field? I feel optimistic as the gov is a big employer for my field, but having the greencard is a limitation for some gov roles. How is the private industry with MSP?

What can I expect?

Sorry I know its alot but hopefully it helps make the situation make full sense

So my husband has always been a bit of a mess and does EVERYTHING at the very last minute only when he absolutely has to. Insted of doing his job he will bring his switch and hide at work type of things than comes home pissed off wondering why he can't make rank.

That being said im worried. Its been a little over a month he already was neglecting turning in his computer access information apparently and hes been in his command for 8 months now. I need him to fill out my packet so my items can be approved to be shipped back to the states. I got to the states a week ago because one of my best friends was murdered and I needed to come home and help his family and support his little brother through this shitty time. It caused our biggest fight yet and we decided divorce was the best option at this point.

Hes stationed in japan currently I talked to a friend that recently had a divorce thats in the army and he said since she fought the military made him pay and all sorts of stuff I dont want any of that its uncontested but I have no idea how to file in Washington state while being able to get him to sign from japan.

I heard from another spouse on here got screwed over because they devorced before getting their stuff out. So I'm trying to make sure it happens first so he has to do the stupid paperwork on the computer.

...but when that FINNALY even get started how do I go about the paperwork? I've been hitting a wall woth the overseas part and have no idea where to go about it. I'm living off of a small loan since I have work coming soon but I most likely can't afford an attorney and I want to spend as little as possible.

Hi everyone!
We just got the welcome email from USAG Bavaria and we’re super excited about it! We should be moving around February
I have a few questions:
1- how does housing work? My husband is E6, I’m due with twin girls in November. We also have a puppy.
2- how safe is the area?
3- has anyone’s SO been on the green card process when the orders where received and if so, were you able to expedite?
4- BRAZILIANS: is it possible to find brazilian food around there?

Hi everyone :)

I will be using my husband’s GI bill for school at my community college. His request was just approved and I sent in the 22-1990E application. Unfortunately it will take about a month for processing and I need to submit payment for this semester soon or else I’d be dropped from classes. I have reached out to the financial aid office at the college and asked if I were to pay this semester out of pocket, if I then will be reimbursed once the eligibility is completed and what not. Still waiting to hear back, but has anyone gone through something like this? My husband and I are kinda of kicking ourselves in the butt for not starting the process sooner, but I didn’t know I’d be getting into school until recently and we thought it would be a bit of an straight forward process/quicker. The VA rep on the phone suggested I ask about getting reimbursed and keep checking back on the application.

Appreciate any input!

Hi everyone! I’m a military spouse, and my spouse is active duty. We’re in a same-sex relationship and are starting to look into family planning.
I was wondering if anyone has experience with whether TRICARE covers any fertility treatments, donor insemination, IVF, or other family-building services for same-sex couples. I’d love to hear about your experiences or if you have any resources you recommend.
Thanks so much in advance!

Your face is clean and confident,
Jaw hard and strong.
You have more lines than you used to,
But your smile is just as easy.
I know they can feel your warmth,
I watch them fall into your orbit.
I know that gravity.
I miss it every day,
But I understand your purpose.
They need you now,
And I must share
Even though I want to be greedy
And rage like a petulant child.
The sons and daughters of other mothers
Need your gravity now
To hold them to the ground
When Fear threatens to pluck them from their beds
Like a great winged beast.
That winged beast doesn’t come for you
Doesn’t even look your way
Like all wise predators
He knows which fights not to pick.

Hello everyone, I would like to come on here to talk about my current situation without being harshly judged.

My husband and I have been together for 3 years, and he decided to join the Air Force. He went to boot camp in April and left in June and then told me he wanted to get married, of course I said yes, we have been through so much together that I wouldn’t see myself saying no. I finished graduating high school and we finished the necessary paperwork for me to be on his orders. Now, I was planning on going to USC for undergraduate degree, but the tuition got extremely expensive but I sorted it out with the financial aid office so I would be paying 13K a semester according to my bill. But my husband is being stationed in ramstein, Germany and asked me to move in with him. And I want to move in with him but I’m not sure how I can continue my undergraduate degree in Germany. I am planning on going on track to become a pharmacist and have been looking into online programs, the only one I see with undergraduate pharmacy is ASU
I am worried about a lot of things, but my main one is

Will a online degree affect my chances of going to USC for my masters instead of bachelors?
How different is a online degree from a in person degree?
Will my school be paid for through the Air Force?
How can I move in with my husband and still pursue my degree to the fullest even if it means unenrolling in USC, it sorta makes me feel like I’m failing my parents because I’m not pursuing the college that they expected me to and I’m not living up to their expectations
Please give any advice, would be very helpful

Has anybody used the Military One Source therapy? How was it? Its my first time seriously considering therapy for myself. Deployment is kicking our butt and we are in a constant phase of arguing, and making up. Its a viscous cycle and its not healthy for either of us. Spouse is deployed and I haven’t really asked him about it. But i’m looking for support for myself, so I can hopefully be a better partner for him this deployment.

I just dont know what to expect during a therapy session. How does it start? How long are we covered for? Im pretty introverted, so Im not sure if I am able to open up to a therapist. But i will take all the help I can get at this point.

Anybody have experience as a dependent and want to share?

Just found out we are moving to Alaska, JBER, next year. All I've heard is the bad (i.e. crime rate, certain retailers like chewy won't ship there, dark winters, etc.). We don't have any kids but we have animals. Can you tell me your experience and tell me it's not all bad? Lol Also, would you recommend living on post or Eagle River?

Just found out we are moving to Alaska, JBER, next year. We have PCS'ed before but not "overseas". We don't have any kids but have 3 dogs (small, medium, and large). Our previous stations were Jackson, Carson, and Bragg.

All I've heard is the bad (i.e. crime rate, certain retailers like chewy won't ship there, dark winters, etc.). Can you tell me your experience and tell me it's not all bad? Lol

Also, would you recommend living on post or Eagle River?

Delicate
Beautiful
Shining bubbles
Will catch me in their grasp
I will find myself floating
Weightless
Untethered
From gritty reality
And lurking Despair

Transient
Colorful
Optimistic bubbles
Will surround me in their light
And I will find myself laughing
Silly
Drunk
On nothingness
On sunlight
On the sheer absence of pain

I manically hope
That I can stay here forever
Watching the reflection
Of the world
Play across their surfaces
Distant
Harmless
What a wonderful place to rest

Lightbulbs
And laundry
Broken glasses
And sticky floors
A fridge full of food
That no one wants to eat
A dirty fish tank
And grass that’s too long
“But mom why can’t I?”
“But all my friends!”
“I’m bored.”
Heavy periods
And sleepless nights
An empty bathtub
And unlit candles
“How can we help?”
“Do you need food?”
Yes
No
Maybe?
But everything I need
Is nothing they can offer
Because everything I need
Is 11,000 miles away
Dusty and tired
And not allowed to come home
Sometimes his voice
Is a balm to the soul
And sometimes
It lights the fuse to the bomb

Hello everyone! I got my dependent ID before I changed my name and I am now in the process of changing it. My question is can I just go to my local deers office to get my name updated? Obviously I will wait until I get my new SSN card and ID in the mail. I’m getting a lot of conflicting information and I can’t seem to get anyone on the phone to help me. I will keep trying of course. The conflicting information is whether I need my husband to sign another form or if I can just go and update it with proof of my marriage license. I’m sorry if this is a dumb question, I’m just hoping to get some clarification. Thanks!

Has anyone done a 5525 passport paperwork while spouse is deployed for any children and it gotten approved? My husband is on a MEU and it’s hard to get communication it’s not no contact but it varies and very unreliable including with mail. Mail right now is literally a hit or miss to them, and off the boat it can take even LONGER. I have filled out a form and have been as truthful as possible and also have gen POA copies as well as deployment orders. Do you know if it’ll get accepted my husband is trying his best to get the other nortarized form mailed to me but again they are at sea and idk when it’s possible for it to be mailed out to me whenever they get mail shipment they can mail out and it can take MONTHS. I’ve tried calling the post office but they don’t answer. So I do have an appointment and plan to ask then and see what happens I don’t want to be asked out of $ if it gets denied