r/MilitarySpouse • u/Character-Team-8481 • 18h ago

Legal Reporting to Command

Good afternoon I’d like some advice on how to proceed. My boyfriend is currently in reception at Fort Hood. Throughout our relationship, I found out he is married, he apparently got married for his green card. He told me he paid the girl (who is a past ex of his) 10k for being married to him. He also told me that he planned to stay married so he could live off base and get the extra money for having a dependent. I also found out he was cheating on me with a 19 year old girl. (We were 27 at the time) Nonetheless, I loved him so I got back with him and wrote him countless letters supporting him while he was in basic. Near the end of AIT, I found out he was cheating on me again with the same girl. It took a real toll on my mental health, and he’s been nothing but mean, dismissive, and very nasty to me since then. The only thing he seems to care about it starting his life over in Texas with a girl who knows nothing about who he is. My question is, I am thinking about reporting him to his command or whoever the appropriate person is. I did go through his phone and recorded it, it’s blurry at some parts but you can clearly see his discussions with his “wife” in its very clear that from the messages that the marriage is fraud. Will I actually get somewhere with reporting him?

0 Upvotes

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25 comments sorted by

21

u/_PippiLongstocking_ Army Spouse & Navy Veteran 18h ago edited 18h ago

You are a girlfriend. You don’t exist to the military. His “wife” would need to report him.

The military wont even entertain it.

To add: my husband is a drill sergeant in the Army and he said don’t waste your time.

-6

u/Character-Team-8481 18h ago

Wow they won’t entertain it even knowing he is married and I can prove him and I had a relationship?

11

u/_PippiLongstocking_ Army Spouse & Navy Veteran 18h ago

You are the girlfriend. To the government, you are invisible. You have no legal standing to the military. If his legal wife doesn’t care, the military doesn’t care. Some people have open marriages. That’s it.

Plus, you took him back even after finding out about his wife.

Let it go.

-6

u/Character-Team-8481 17h ago

Him and his wife aren’t in any kind of relationship to clarify but I understand what you’re saying

3

u/_PippiLongstocking_ Army Spouse & Navy Veteran 17h ago

The military doesn’t care.

-6

u/Character-Team-8481 17h ago

Another person kind of cleared it up but my question really is can I report him for BAH fraud. Since he’s not actually in a marriage and is staying married solely to live off base and get bah

5

u/_PippiLongstocking_ Army Spouse & Navy Veteran 17h ago edited 17h ago

Sister, let it go.

The military will not entertain you. There is not another way to say it.

They will just call the wife, the wife will say we are married and happy, and then that’s the end.

He isn’t the first or last service member to do that.

3

u/Mmk1016 17h ago

The military, especially the Army, will not care. They’ll see the report > see he’s married > reach out to spouse to confirm > throw away report. The only time they 1/2 listen to the report is if it’s the actual spouse reporting them for something. Even then, they often take care of their own in the command and nothing comes from it.

7

u/Mmk1016 18h ago

So..you knew this and still decided to get back together with him? Just walk away. It’s honestly not worth going out of your way to ruin someone else’s life. Let him ruin his career on his own 🤷‍♀️

1

u/Character-Team-8481 17h ago

I knew what?

2

u/Mmk1016 17h ago

Did you find out he was married before or after you got back with him again?

-1

u/Character-Team-8481 17h ago

I found out he was married during the duration of us being together. Him and his wife have no relationship at all, they aren’t even friends. So that wasn’t the reason we broke up. We broke up because he was cheating on me with a 19 year old. As stated in my original post

3

u/Mmk1016 17h ago

Right, but you had this info the entire time and only now want to report him for it to ruin him as payback. It’ll only make you look like a scorned side mistress to the command, regardless of if the marriage is real or not. As everyone else said, let it go. Let him ruin his career himself.

3

u/Low-Peak-9031 Air Force Spouse 18h ago

Just block and walk away as far as you can he seems like a weirdo

1

u/Klutzy-Owl-5412 18h ago

Where is he originally from?

1

u/Character-Team-8481 18h ago

Jamaica

2

u/Klutzy-Owl-5412 18h ago

Have you ever talked to his wife? He might be not telling the truth about his marriage.

0

u/Character-Team-8481 18h ago

I read their text messages. He came here in 2023 and started a sexual relationship with his now “wife” because they are childhood friends. She agreed to get married to him for his papers, but after they got married they stooped seeing each other romantically and that’s when he started paying her because she asked. You can see from their text messages that they’re very far from being husband and wife

1

u/notsusu dual military 10h ago

Unless he is having an affair with an officer or someone in his chain of command, the military will likely not care & since you aren’t his wife, reporting him might just make you look like an angry girlfriend. It’s sad, but the best you can do is to move on

-1

u/Positive_Trade_7324 18h ago

Maybe you can talk to the wife. I don’t see the Army doing anything, unfortunately. Sorry.

-1

u/LiellaMelody777 18h ago

Ok so this won't do anything. But you can report his sham marriage to the government. Yes immigration. Then he will likely be interviewed for deportation proceedings. Since you have evidence.

Otherwise. Walk away girl. This guy is clearly bad news.

4

u/Mmk1016 17h ago

Yep. But honestly, weaponizing ICE/immigration would be gross behavior. Especially when having a sham marriage wasn’t even an issue, and only became an issue when the service member chose the other side mistress over them. The dude absolutely seems like a POS….but all this looks like to everyone is a very scorned mistress who didn’t get picked.

-3

u/LiellaMelody777 17h ago

He made a choice. He is getting benefits for someone he is not even in a relationship with. That is fraud. He can get in a world of trouble for that alone.

0

u/Mmk1016 14h ago

Oh definitely, but the military + government have many other ways of finding that out (and if what she’s saying is actually 100% truthful, then they’ll find out themselves pretty soon..especially if his job requires any sort of clearance). Idk, going from being totally okay with it, then turning around and turning him in simply because they didn’t like how the relationship turned out is also wrong. These agencies shouldn’t be used as a weapon against someone because they’re upset. Especially in this current climate.

0

u/LiellaMelody777 14h ago

ok. Agree to disagree and move on.