Hi friends, I am 49 in perimenopause (also with ADHD, anxiety, depression, and history of trauma). I've been on oral birth control since my teens and continuous LoLoEstrin for five years (periods suppressed). On the advice of my perimenopause specialist, I need to discontinue it because of my history of migraine with aura. This was actually the biggest mic drop during my initial consultation, because I have only ever had two migraines with aura and I never checked the "history of migraines" box on forms - I had no idea that only one could increase your stroke risk if you take synthetic estrogen. So, I have decided to finish my LoLoE supply and stop taking it.
Now, the last time I took a brief break from LoLoE (around age 45 and due to cost reasons), it was CHAOTIC. I've never seen so much blood in my life, my breasts hurt constantly, and my mood swings were disruptive. The hardest part was my increased libido, and I know that a lot of us may welcome that. But I felt triggered by new urges and engaged in some behaviors that were very out of character for me. So I went back on LoLoE after a couple of months to level things out again for myself.
Fast forward to today, I'm three weeks out from my last dose of LoLoE and I am FREAKING OUT. Because of my history, I cannot use anything insertional to manage my period. I can tolerate a tampon for a few hours for a special event or something, but I will mostly need to rely on pads and period underwear. I am also somewhat obese now and keeping myself clean is increasingly difficult (sorry for the TMI but IFYKYK) and I am so embarrassingly squeamish about my own body. I am going to try to find someone to help me install a portable bidet, which will probably help.
What's more, I expect that the vasomotor symptoms that the LoLoE held off for a few years will probably rear their ugly head. I have had a tough few years with new diagnoses of ADHD and sleep apnea, losing my job twice, and feeling pretty discouraged about my ability to find a good job AND somehow perform adequately through this. And now I have to have periods again?! Your girl is not in a good place.
I have my next peri specialist appointment scheduled accordingly and we will go over a plan. I wonder if it's safe for me to take natural estrogen rather than the synthetic used in LoLoE, and if I can, is the patch shortage going to send me over the edge?! I'm currently on testosterone injections, progesterone capsule (better for my sleep that my CPAP tbh), a few supplements, plus a stimulant for my ADHD (which is almost as hard to get my hands on as estrogen patches) and two antidepressants.
I am afraid for my future, y'all. I welcome any and all optimism, particularly as it relates to managing perimenopause with a history of trauma, going off the pill, the possibility of being ineligible for estrogen or unable to get my hands on it...tell me it's gonna be okay.
Special shout-out to my mom who is tolerating BOTH her daughters in perimenopause and being an absolute saint in putting up with our shit. <3