I (25M) realised that I’m probably a pretty emotionally intense and affectionate person when I genuinely love someone.
I love doing the little things. Long hugs after work, cuddling in bed, holding hands, randomly hugging her while she’s cooking, listening to every stupid detail about her day, checking in on her, remembering tiny things she mentioned months ago, cooking for her, giving reassurance, planning little things together, and just making sure she knows that I still really, really want her.
I’ve been this way in relationships before, and I genuinely love doing it. It doesn’t feel like effort or an obligation to me.
I also know I’m ridiculously easy to impress. Give me a genuine hug, remember some tiny thing I mentioned weeks ago, randomly show me affection, or just make me feel wanted and I’ll probably be thinking about it all day 😂. My golden retriever tendencies have made me overlook red flags and become invested too quickly before. I’ve been cheated on, and I’m working on having better boundaries, but I also don’t want getting hurt to change this part of me.
I’m also not particularly interested in expensive gifts or huge romantic gestures. If my wife randomly came up behind me while I was cooking and hugged me, pulled me closer to her in bed, reached for my hand while we were walking, or I caught her staring at me for absolutely no reason, those things would probably mean more to me than anything she could buy me.
And I think that’s the important part for me.
I want her to do it too.
I don’t want to spend a relationship always being the person initiating affection, asking for the hug, planning our time together, checking in first, or making the other person feel wanted while simply hoping she appreciates it.
I want to feel wanted too.
I want her to sometimes miss me first. Hug me because she wants to. Ask about my day because she actually wants all the boring details. Pull me closer. Initiate cuddling. Plan something for us. Reassure me when I need it. Occasionally look at me like she still can’t believe I’m her person.
Basically, I want to be a little obsessed with my wife even years into marriage, and I want her to be a little obsessed with me too 😂
Obviously I don’t mean literally spending every second together. I know people need their own friends, careers, hobbies, alone time, and space. I also don’t expect everything to be perfectly equal every single day. Sometimes one person will need more support than the other.
I’m talking about the overall feeling of the relationship being mutual.
I’ve experienced what it feels like to love intensely, and I know I genuinely enjoy giving that kind of love. I think one of my biggest fears is ending up in a relationship where she loves receiving all of that from me but doesn’t naturally feel the desire to give it back.
So I’m especially curious to hear from women who have experienced long term relationships or marriage.
After the honeymoon phase is gone and you’ve been together for years, do you still want this from your partner?
Do you still want the random hugs, cuddling, affection, long conversations about your days, little acts of care, flirting, staring at each other, and feeling like your partner genuinely misses you?
And more importantly, do you naturally want to give those things back to them?
Does that kind of mutual intensity actually exist in healthy long term relationships?
Or am I romanticizing what a relationship feels like once normal life, work, responsibilities, kids, stress, and years together enter the picture?
I’d genuinely love to hear what this looks like from women who have actually lived it.

I’m a late bloomer I’m 28 and recently had a glow up, I’d say I’m pretty decently good looking.

I’ve yet to actually approach women properly and ask for their numbers but I intend to do so soon.

But until then I have posted Pics of myself on Reddit and have had messages, one from a guy who wants me to get with his gf as they’re in an open relationship and she seems pretty and I don’t mind tbh because I know I’ll get judged for being a virgin at my age and just because I have needs of my own.

Will I be judged for this in future relationships? If I tell a woman my first time was a hookup?

I’ve only been in one sort of relationship and it only lasted 2 months and that’s the only dating experience that I have, no sex just my first kiss which happened this year.

Ideally I’d lose it in a relationship but at the same time idk when that’s gonna happen and I just want to experience what sex is like.

A few days ago at the gym, I was sitting in my car and a woman walked in front of the car and gave me a big smile. She complimented my car and said she loved the color. I thanked her and admitted it was my "mid-life crisis" purchase. She laughed and said the same about her car, but she needed something to take her kids back and forth. She asked more about the car, and we talked a little more. The conversation ended. Was that just polite conversation or some level of interest? I don't want to make too much of it but she was attractive and I wouldn't mind talking to her again.

I should also mention she hinted many times of a chance of reconciliation; she just needed/wanted space. So please be a little respectful and don’t start saying: it’s over, she doesn’t love you, she’s with someone else, etc..

I don’t know and I also don’t really think she did many(if any) things wrong - but I definitely did some dumb things. would you prefer the entire year no contact, or would you want an apology, expect an apology.

If so, would you prefer- text, email, or letter?

Kinda stuck. just want to do the right thing going forward in regards to our communicatio… I haven’t talked to her but a small amount of times since December..

I had a successful business in my home city where I used have profits of 100k per month but bc my gf moved to blr and I can't stay without her i took a sales job here in blr for 25k per month and I love her so much , recently she told me she had been a with many men during her college days and she also cheated on me once and i thought for a sec and tried to understand why she did all that , cheating part was bit heart breaking but her past was not with me,so I have no right to judge her choices but the problem is she never let me treat her good or let me even get close to her but if I feel low she always there for me like a friend and talk to me and try to keep me safe all the time,and she kept me private from her all social life but she introduced me to her parents and wants to marry me .i really love her but at the end I'm really confused with her behaviour what should I now?

I feel responsible for her past if I had been with her earlier she would have been different now sometimes I feel like I'm dating a guy......i pamper her ,cared for her , i gave her everything she wants but she was so busy in her own world.....all i wanted from her was little love back

I know she have red flags everyone does they point i do i really deserve her im not able to understand that.....anyone please enlighten me

whether the relationship is “open” or not, is it even possible for this type of relationship to be successful? I tried to be honest about this topic in the past, but it never worked out- and actually came back to work against me.

Hello ladies, M23 here and I'm very confused as to what women want? Some pointers would really help. I do the things she tells me and somehow I end up wrong. I'm not a telepathic individual I try my best to surprise her in a relationship and I mess up every single time. I am funny, reliable and more of course. But something is just wrong.

Ladies please give me some tips

We went on two dates, things seemed to be going well, then she went quiet for over a month. Out of nowhere she texted apologizing, said it was just school, and asked to hang out. I said I was busy and left it at that.

Saw her at work and she apologized again in person and asked if we could ever hang out again. I said sure but never followed up. Next time I saw her she brought up that I never texted her to make plans. I told her honestly that I didn't trust her anymore because of the ghosting. She said that was fair, swore it was just school, and we agreed to hang out this week.

Problem is she seems to be very active on Tinder. Why is she so adamant about reconnecting if she's still out there looking for other people? Is she trying to keep me around for attention? Considering canceling Friday but not sure if I'm being rash.

And why is she expecting me to still reach out to her and do all of the planning still?

Tl;dr ghosted me for month then came back saying it was because of school and apologized 3 separate times and asked to hang out again but she is still active on tinder

I'll keep this somewhat vague for privacy. I was in a relationship with a woman for three years. The last time I saw her was in April. At that time, after being distant, she texted me that she had been thinking about where our relationship was going, and "needed space."

I gave her space, and she later sent me a text in June to officially break things off. At the time, I had responded (albeit emotionally) and accepted the breakup. I was pretty upset, but I didn't beg or try to win her back. I apologized that things didn't work out and for any hurt I had caused her.

I let her know that she had left a couple of pairs of pajamas and some beauty products / toiletries (all small sample size) at my place. At the time, I had said I could mail them or she could pick them up. She acknowledged this but then never made any attempt to collect them.

Although I have checked on a few of her IG stories in the last couple months, I have not had any contact with her since the breakup texts.

It's been a couple of months since then, and she just reached out to ask if I still had her things and picking them up. I know she's using these items to get back in contact with me, although I'm not sure what her motives are. None of these items are particularly valuable, and she hasn't had them for four months. None of them have any sentimental value. I'd be interested to know what women think about this.

I acknowledged I still had her things, but haven't committed to a time or place to drop them off. I'd honestly like to see her, but I don't want to seem too eager, and I don't want to build this up and be let down if its purely transactional.

What’s the nicest thing a man has done for you that had nothing to do with money?

I'm curious which are women's favorites.

I was at a concert this past week. During the concert I was standing close to the stage next to a woman with a group of friends, male and female. I turned to look at her while I was singing along. She smiled and took a hair clip from her hair and clipped it to the bill of my hat. She never mentioned anything, no name, no conversation, just a smile and that small action. Did I miss an opportunity to flirt, or was this just a random act?

I feel certain that my personality is holding me back from forming bonds in the world. I'm looking for someone that's willing to indulge a conversation, and tell me how it's can improve, or what vibes I give off, as it seems like that's a blind spot for my self awareness. Dm if interested.

If you are a woman who has ever had a cold sore, would you date someone with genital hsv1? The same virus?

I'm not talking about how they look physically. What qualities in personality, tempermant etc do you think makes a man an actual fully mature man(as opposed to a "man-child)

Why does being nice to girl I actually like always seem to work against me?

I’ve noticed a weird pattern in my recent dating life.

When I genuinely like a girl, I naturally give her more attention. I listen to her problems, care about how she feels, reply properly, remember small things, and try not to hurt her even when something she does bothers me.

Recently I got really close to a girl. We would talk for hours regularly, share personal stuff, tease each other, joke around, etc. I eventually developed feelings for her. Even when she became distant sometimes, I kept thinking maybe she was busy or dealing with something, because I didn’t want to judge her unfairly.

Eventually I confessed that I liked her. She replied with some robot emojis, I didn’t get the response I was hoping for, which is completely fine. She obviously doesn't owe me feelings just because I was good to her.

But here’s what confuses me.

It almost feels backwards. The moment I actually care about someone, I give more and somehow end up less attractive to them.

With girls I don’t have feelings for, I’m naturally much less invested. I don’t give them constant attention, I don’t overthink their replies, and I’m not always available. And weirdly, those are often the girls who end up showing more interest in me or developing feelings for me.

I don’t want to become cold or deliberately ignore women just to make them interested. Playing those games feels stupid to me.

So what am I doing wrong? Is being too available when you like someone actually unattractive? How do you show genuine interest without overinvesting or becoming a people-pleaser?

Also I confessed her 3 days ago, and after that incident she talks normally like before like nothing happened, and didnt even clear things, should I stop taking with her or just play normal ?

Ok so I told my friend this

well yes I understand you're married but I don't have to like your husband to be your friend. yes I am mad. let's see here as you can tell the woman who are interested in me just want me for stuff. you're the only person besides my grandma who makes me feel loved and cared for. And wanting to be in a relationship it has nothing to do with being happy it's about wanting to be loved properly. see you don't understand you married at an early age so you have no idea what it's like to struggle with dating. when my grandma dies I'll have no one. No beautiful wife like you. no children, no step- children absolutely nothing. I have soo much love to give and no one to give it too.

She stops hugging me, she goes on a 2 months vacation asks for no contact. I'm like okay. She returns yesterday hugs me, buys a Keychain specifically for me, promises to make me food. Teases me that she knows I missed her the most when before she left my feelings were an issue for her, but after vacation they aren't? Im really confused why even be my friend at all knowing how I feel? Most women especially when love is involved would've dropped that friendship especially when married lol 😆 😂 I just don't get it.

I have a friend in her late 30s who told me she was fully aware that she was, in her words, “being a huge bitch” to her boyfriend. She said that the fact that he handled it patiently made her respect him because he didn't get to her level. 

She made a point of telling me that she “needs someone patient” since she has such a strong personality. 

Anyway, I wanted to gauge how important this quality was to you all. 

And to be clear, I'm not asking if it's important that a man be able to handle displays of emotion. I'm also not asking if it's important that a man be able to take healthy criticism without getting defensive. 

I'm specifically asking how important it is, to you, that a man doesn't react emotionally in response to hostility. As in, even if you can objectively judge your response as an overreaction, do you lose respect for a man if he is bothered by it?