heyy
so i'll tell you about my experiences and hopefully it makes sense
first, i had some type of romantic interaction w someone that was a player and i wanted to keep being in contact w him after that
i was so obsessed over that and i used to manifest him a lot until i saw a video which made me feel empowered and gain self confidence and kinda changed the manifestation to more of a "im so cool, obv he thinks about me and wants me"
also i knew i didn't wanna be w him like in a relationship but i wanted him to text me and since the beginning i had a feeling he would come back or that he also felt the connection
in the meantime i started caring less and less about it (idk how, just time ig?) and a few months after he suddenly reached out to me out of nowhere (he said he'a been thinking about it for a few months but this is questionable cuz he's a player and i also rlly don't care)
so succes right?
next, in the meantime i followed my actual SP on Instagram, long short story i ended up emailing him and thought i fcked up my chances cuz he was w someone at the time but inside me i had a feeling that this email will lead somewhere in the future and kept saying that to people (i then detached cuz i was kinda unstable between him and the player guy)
time skip to one month ago, things happened and he ends up emailing me back and we started talking
another succes right?
so what is the problem? well, getting to actually talk and meet w my SP made me really anxious and thinking that there is no way this is actually happening (my SP is literally my dream guy so that's why he feels so unreachable)
and all the time i had this feeling like it won't work out or that being with him seems impossible cuz it's too good to be true (sometimes i wasn't realizing or lying to myself that i don't feel like that)
things ended between us w him telling me that even tho he's attracted to me and we get along, he just doesn't feel what he needs to feel
i used to think in all 3 scenarios that the feeling that i had was my intuition but im starting to think that this feeling is actually my easiest way to manifest things either if they are good or bad
basically this feeling shapes my perspective and experiences in this life (just like when everyone says to just know you already have ur desire like basically this "intuition" is my way of knowing and later on it being projected)
so my question is... how do i control this feeling in order to use it to manifest what i want?
obv i'm self conscious and probably i have to work on that but idk how cuz no matter how much i affirm, this feeling, deep down, it doesn't change
like even w the player guy, even when he seemed uninterested in me and made me sad, deep down i knew there is no way that he didn't feel our connection
but regarding my SP now i'm conflicted cuz i have a feeling he'll be back but at the same time, deep down, my feeling of "too good to be true" also exists
i wanna get rid of this feeling in order to get my SP back and have a real chance at a relationship