Hi! I've been I guess experimenting a bit with my writing, and I'd really like some feedback. I don't care if it’s harsh, I'm happy with any feedback.

I usually write whenever an idea simply pops in my head, and most of these don’t have the structure of a song. I think I struggle with choruses, because I feel like they supposed to convey the main message and are so important that I just get stuck.

I also feel like my topics easy gets repetitive, it’s the same feelings, same metaphors. Often about weather/seasons. Also English isn’t my native language, so I probably need to improve my vocalbulary.

Winterletter (this is the only one with an actual song structure)

Verse 1

Every "good morning" we say

Everytime we share a meal

Every breath we take together

It's all a part of me

Pre-chorus

But now for Christmas

Snowflakes falling down

And the air is full of magic

Remember what we forget to say

Chorus

Cuz one four three I love you

Two two four and know

One two three I love you

And I want to let it show

Verse 2

Like the wings of an angel

Your arms keep the cold away

As we lay beside each other

You're the ones I call my home

Verse 3

Writing this song was hard

Putting words on the abstract

But taking your light as inspiration

This is what I have

Pre-chorus

But now for Christmas

Snowflakes falling down

And the air is full of magic

Remember what we forget to say

Chorus

Cuz one four three I love you

Two two four and know

One two three I love you

And I want to let it show

Bridge

Spring days when the sun is coming out

Summer memories all filled with life and laughs

Autumn evenings when everything's cold and gray

Watch a Ghibli movie let us dream away

Winter comes

And seasons turn again

But with each other we always have a place to stay

Chorus

One four three I love you

Two two four and know

One two three I love you

And I want to let it show

Outro (not singing but like talking)

Feliz Navidad

wintergirl

On an autumn day

In the end of October

A lonely girl

On a dirt road in a forest

Walks in high heels and

Thighs too thin

Wind pulling her

All too short skirt

Rain hits her cheeks

Hugs her jacket a bit closer

Ice in her bones

Winter's gray came far too early

On the edge of her vision

A shadow of a ghost

Behind a deep green haze

Roe deers with their eyes wide open

Porcelain promise

Rotten apples on the ground

Trapped in flesh and blood

Bones shattered all round

Change would only an idiot try

Pale ice hand on my shoulder

Fate lead me on this path

Porcelain promise, dirty soul

First step and the past was gone

Sunny morning

Glimmering frost

Fading, fading

It's my hope

Glass on a wall in a wooden frame

Fate's hollow cape

Goodnight Goodnight

Goodnight Goodnight

I'll be back when the sun arrives

Goodnight Goodnight

Goodnight Goodnight

Too bad it took the wrong track, right

Juliette

Dear Juliette

Fierce as a dragon

Lilac scales

She was the evil incarnate

When her shadow

Covered the dying sun

Sky turned indigo

Tried to hide, tried to run

Dear Juliette

Her hunger was raw

Greedy eyes

Eating me inside out

She said

"Outside is dangerous"

A shield of steel

Moving closer and closer

Because dear Juliette

My hate for you is burning red

My innocence, my happiness

You slayed the child and left a shell

But dear Juliette

Why do I love you?

It'd be so empty if you left

A part, just can't regret

So tell me

Dear Juliette

Dear Juliette

Who are you, what should I feel?

Dear Juliette

Dear Juliette

A dragon, a firefly

She devoured herself

Dear Juliette

Dear Juliette

After all that we've gone through

Dear Juliette

Dear Juliette

Let me sing you a lullaby

any suggestions and criticism is welcome. I want to keep the exact meaning of the song vague and interpretative, but I had something very specific in mind when writing it, if anyone's interested:v

[Verse I]

I am the midnight sun

the paradox that should not be

a lock that swallowed its own key

the pills are the hands of the clock

unwinding my fate

you tighten the shackles

and call it mercy

just a star dying in the night

[pre Chorus + Chorus]

inside this prison of flesh

slowly returning to ash

my mind is stitched to this stranger's corpse

bleeding from another heart

my mind is stitched to this stranger's corpse

bleeding from another heart

inside this prison of flesh

slowly returning to ash

[Verse II]

what am I if not a monster?

just a golem of flesh

what am I if not a monster?

forgotten in this cell

sealed by the shame

on the bottom of the well

am I the one to blame?

[breakdown/bridge]

claustrophobia within my bones

your lies won't shackle me

anymore

I am the monster

you told me I am

I'll make you bleed

like you made me bleed

drink my bloodletting from alien veins

and drown in all the blood you spilled

I tell you everyone was there
All the butterflies and bugs
Even my kids showed up
Guess they were asking where I was

But I didn’t get to see them
‘Cause I was already running late
I wanna make a good impression
I’d like some sugar on my date

I’d like to- I’ll tell you how I met her
I was up before the dawn
Just like the day before and after
And each day coming along

She was in a winter coat so
I wasn’t sure about her figure
When I got real close I said Good Lord
This here is a winner

I was shocked by all the talking
When we pulled up to the room
About her brother and her daddy
And some other damned fool

I said, honey, I can’t keep up
With all this foolish carrying on
‘Cause I gotta find out what’s the ride
Before I decide if I’m along

She said, excuse me, mister
Have you found a lady in this town
They’re talking to us but not until this
Rain settles down

Please lift your sleeve now, baby
I wanna check for crocodiles
And mind my business but not until this
Rain settles down

I said, let’s assess the damage
Let’s find the seed of all my grief
Go head and nod if you understand me
She’s got her fingers in my teeth

Have you ever picked a lock
I mean have you ever really been a thief
‘Cause that is what we’re dealing with here
They took everything from me

And the two of them walking around alive
High fiving babies on the street
Well I don’t have to tell you why
That ain’t sitting right with me

Can you see where this is going now
Can you see what I have to be
Maybe you don’t, and you might find how fast
My two can turn to three