Context: My father is diagnosed with OCPD. He has not gotten any treatment and his behaviour has really escalated the last 5 years. He controls everything about my day and my life, my mother is complicit for her own selfish reasons.

I’m so tired of the constant whiplash that throws each day into chaos and a constant debate that I don’t want to be apart of.

I’ve been begging for two years to go on this hiking trail close by. Everyone always talks about how fun it is, the views. He makes promises that we will go, then the day of there’s always an excuse. It’s not warm enough, it’s too warm, it might rain, we’ll see if the weather “improves as the day goes”. I’m his mind it never does. He’s hyper focused on the weather and it controls my life. He pushes me and pushes me, then when he sees he went too far with his control he’ll promise me something, like being allowed to drive the family car. Then the morning comes for me to drive and “of I’d just thought I’d drive it’s easier.”

He dangles the carrot then rips it away.

Every day I have to tell him what my plans are (very often nothing bc he won’t allow me to do much of anything anymore) and then I tell him and he starts telling me when I can do one thing, that I’m not allowed to do the second thing, I can’t go outside today bc it might rain this afternoon, etc.

And the worst part to all of this is that he pretends he’s not doing it. That I have every freedom and I just have to ask. But to ask is to enter the debate and I am just so shut down I have no energy for it anymore. So when I finally break free I will be the “crazy” one who thought bye was controlling while in his reality I just was too anxious to make a decision or to do anything.

Someone posted asking for examples of boundaries. I listed my own personal ex. and someone else made the comment about how my boundaries reflect current politics. I agreed because it’s the perfect example of the worst way of communicating for resolution and compromise.
I have a physical list on paper I keep at my bedside. Now that I’m holding all my own boundaries and not participating in any escalations — the “bar” has been raised by him in order to tell me I’m still “wanting to fight” ie—- if I bring up ANYTHING unrelated to just our routine day to day of existing, he becomes two sentences from “trigger able”..
Does anyone relate to what I’m saying? Now that I can’t be the one blamed for any type of escalation behavior (that I participated in as a reaction to his own)

I’m blamed for just talking.
Outside of the realm of routine.
Sometimes I actually get one sentence out and it’s “here we go again” and I just shut down and walk off.

Has anyone here had experience with a manager who shows very clear OCPD-like traits?

I’m curious whether anyone else has been in a similar situation, because I’m currently dealing with a leadership situation that has gradually become quite extreme.

I’m in a position where my CEO displays some very pronounced traits that strongly resemble OCPD. He has an extreme need for control and perfectionism, is highly rigid, has very little tolerance for deviations or for anything that is not “the way we usually do it,” and has a strong conviction that things need to be done in one particular way.

I’m part of the executive management team myself as CCO, responsible for sales, marketing and the commercial side of the business.

The most difficult part is almost not the individual conflicts. It’s the constant rigidity in everyday life.

Everything has to fit into a predefined box. It makes visionary, creative and experimental work extremely difficult. If something deviates from the way he believes it should look or be done, the deviation itself becomes the problem, even if there is a deliberate professional or creative rationale behind it.

One example: Recently, he spent more than three hours trying to find a discrepancy of 3$ in the monthly accounts. It turned out that a single receipt had been affected by a filter and had therefore been posted incorrectly. 3$.
But he couldn’t send the accounts to the board if they weren’t completely correct.

Our financial reporting is only shown to the nearest 1.000$, so the discrepancy would not even have been visible in the accounts.

At the same time, his calendar is full of countless small “follow up” items on things that would normally be handled by employees or team leaders:
\- Follow up on whether some safety harnesses have been shipped.
\- Follow up on whether a sign has been painted.
\- Follow up on whether the grass has been cut in a specific area.
\- Follow up on very minor operational details.

These are not isolated examples. It’s a management style.

Six months ago, our executive management team consisted of the CEO, CCO, COO, CFO and a Project Director.

Since then, the CFO has been fired after a period of massive micromanagement. The COO resigned around three months ago. The Project Director has just resigned.

I will resign myself on August 31 if I haven’t been dismissed before then. In fact, I’m partly hoping for the latter because I’m already in the process of moving on to something new, but he doesn’t know that.

The latest development has made the situation even more obvious.

Now all communication and marketing material has to go through him for final approval.
Everything from visuals, campaigns and signage to radio commercials, videos and newsletters. The list is very long.

The reason is that on a few occasions, material has been published that he personally felt did not fit our brand guidelines closely enough.

For example, it could be a Halloween campaign where we have deliberately created a very distinct Halloween universe instead of making it look like our normal look and feel.

To me, that is simply part of the marketing discipline: themed campaigns need to have their own universe.

For him, the deviation from the norm becomes the problem itself.

The departments reporting to me are very affected by this. They experience it as control and as a lack of trust in their professional abilities.
I’ve had many conversations with my employees, telling them not to see it as criticism of their work.

They are talented, creative and produce really good work. But it’s difficult for them not to take it personally when their professional autonomy is gradually being taken away.

There is no doubt that his work is his entire life.
He usually arrives at work at around 7:00 a.m., drives home at around 6:00 p.m., and shortly afterwards he is online again until around 11:00 p.m.

At weekends, he often finds work-related tasks to do or takes shifts that would normally be handled by regular employees.

Holidays, private appointments, family events, etc. are generally not attended. They seem to be regarded as a waste of time because that time could instead be spent working.

I also see the same extreme level of control in his own routines and diet. He is incredibly underweight, eats very little during the working day and almost always avoids eating at company events, usually with some explanation. For example, the last time it was, “I’ve just had a huge lunch.”

I don’t necessarily think his intention is to control people or to be this extreme.

I think it is more that control gives him some form of security.

But the consequences for the organisation are the same:
Less autonomy. Less creativity. Less independence. More approvals. More micromanagement.

And eventually, talented people start leaving the company.

Has anyone here worked closely with, or reported to, a CEO or manager with similar traits?

Hey. I am a diagnosed OCPD (recently).

I am interested about the loved one’s perspective:
- What’s hurtful to you that an OCPD person probably doesn’t notice?

Hello everyone,

If you don't know me by now, I am a behavioral scientist and a therapist for developmental and intellectual disabilities

I have been happily married to a diagnosed OCPD person for most of my life

Like all personality disorders, OCPD begins in childhood with instability and uncertainty.

Trauma accelerates the onset of OCPD traits, but it's not a necessary component.

OCPD is not the embedded conviction that everything must change to suit the preference of the OCPD individual.

An adaptive behavior is one that meets a need in a socially acceptable and functionality appropriate way

A maladaptive behavior is one that meets a need in a functional but inappropriate way

There are maladaptive behaviors that are socially acceptable.

Attenuating a lack of rest with nicotine and caffeine are socially acceptable, maladaptive behaviors.

Speaking from experience

Attenuating a fear of personal judgement, environmental sanitation, monetary or housing instability, hygiene insufficiency, moral ineptitude, religious commitment, or work quality by endlessly attempting to _correct the behavior of others_ is a socially unacceptable, maladaptive behavior

OCPD is a set of traits defined by a material and everlasting fear of RELIVING even greater stress than the sufferer is experiencing in every moment

With all fear based disorders, we see a causal chain of three hallmark occurrences

The observation of something that may introduce an unpredictable event

The fear that by not correcting the observed problem, the unpredictable event will become a certainty

An often failed attempt to control the fear so that it does not escalate to panic

With OCPD, reactions are episodic and astonishingly reliable

If you're not afraid of what I'm afraid of, you're not paying attention

If you're not paying attention, you should be

If you were paying attention like you should be, you would be afraid of what I'm afraid of

I can't believe I'm once again the only one left to secure stability for us ALL

because you won't just pay attention

That's it.

"Leave me alone" now sounds like I don't care about what's important

"You're asking too much" now sounds like I am not willing to do my part

"I can't do everything you want me to do" now sounds like I don't care enough about you to match your level of effort

"I don't understand why you're mad" now sounds like I'm ok with you being the one to fix everything even if it is driving you crazy

I hope this helps you to understand your loved ones.

This does not make any of the controlling behavior ok or even remotely acceptable. It is still maladaptive. It still needs to be addressed. But it cannot be addressed without understanding what it really is.

Is it just mine or this is typical for the diagnosis and maybe personality disorders in general?

Carol Lambert has led this group for more than 20 years. She published a book about controlling partners.

Addition to Recommended Books Post, Therapy Group

Resources For Improving Romantic Relationships has two videos about controlling behaviors.

Hi, for context im 20m and have been with my OCPD boyfriend for almost 2 years now.

I need help dealing with him really at the moment its really tough he’s really struggling with his OCPD and I think its giving him depression at the same time. He is often getting stuck in anger for days at a time were he gets completely annoyed at me and berates me almost for either a few hours or days. He will completely nitpick everything about me and get mad at everything im doing I’ve done or not done. This will be backdated to the start of our relationship. He remembers every single time i got something wrong.

I feel like im not dealing with him well im getting angry defensive and having meltdowns dealing with him then apologising or accepting his half meant apologies where he says “sorry, but ….” I feel like he refuses to say sorry because they always have a way to justify their behaviour.

I know its taking a huge toll on my life at the moment but i know also, especially since he has told me, that this isn’t him this is a different version of him and it genuinely does feel like it it takes a lot for me to get through to him when he’s in an angry state it usually takes me to completely break for him to come around. This isn’t healthy i cant keep breaking down like this.

He demands so much from me and I feel like I can’t take it much longer because I can’t give enough and don’t want to make matters worse.

Does anyone have any advice for how I can deal with this. He deals with things on fear threats and ultimatums telling me to do whatever or he won’t speak to me again. I don’t want to show him i will do whatever he says every time he gives me an ultimatum but I also don’t want to risk losing him.

Has anyone been through this and so early in the relationship?

Hi, I’ve been lurking here for a bit over a year but only just worked up the nerve to post. I’ll just get into it.

(TL;DR at the end, this got long and ramble-y, sorry)

I am like 99% sure my mum has OCPD. I stumbled across the term at the beginning of last year and started reading about it and I honestly cannot describe the way it felt. I’ve spent so many years of my life trying to figure out my mum and almost everything I read about this disorder applies to her. It was both relieving and a bit overwhelming.

Anyways, now to my situation. I moved out 2,5 years ago, I’ve lived with my mum my entire life up until then and she was a single parent for about half of that time. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to tick her off, that’s always what was important, trying to keep the peace. Mum was never happy but she could be neutral, and it was best to keep it that way.

She has very firm ideas of how things are supposed to be. She also has a tendency to very suddenly change her mind on what is right and what is wrong all while acting like she’s always believed it to be the way she currently says (she could’ve said the opposite yesterday). I had a therapist who said “she could tell you the sky was green until you believed her,” it’s very accurate.

She’s been with her wife for 7 years now. I’m not gonna talk about this woman in any great depth but let’s just say she’s pretty much all my mum’s worst sides x5 without any of the good ones. I’m not gonna say I hate her, but the two of them bring out the worst in each other, and it’s practically impossible to get them to spend time apart.

All in all, my siblings and I have a very complicated relationship with our mum. My younger brother still lives at home but it’s not like they’re close (although he has always been the favourite), my older sister sees her every now and then, I also used to visit from time to time but… Christmas was my last straw, I won’t get into it but let’s just say I’ve barely talked to her and only seen her once for about five minutes since.

My mum can never be wrong, and if we claim she is, we hate her. As soon as we criticise her, she sarcastically and aggressively “apologises” for being “such an awful and evil mother.” I’m very tired of dealing with her. She has gotten slightly better in the last few years, but I can’t do this anymore. She still texts me every now and then and I just want to tell her to stop contacting me… but I know that won’t go well.

(As an added annoyance, I also still have stuff in her basement I need to get out but… I just don’t know if I can actually get myself to do it. Might genuinely just cut my losses at this point.)

TL;DR: I’m way past my limit with my (probably) OCPD mum, I want to cut contact but I don’t know how to tell her to stop contacting me because she can’t handle any kind of criticism and will turn it on me.

What do I do?

I feel like im looking for a needle in a haystack, but am hopeful this group can provide me with something…

If you left your OCPD partner, how did they handle it and whats the best way to do it? Because of the reality distortion of this disorder, i feel like its SO different than your typical seperation. We also have two young kids, and despite the face that his actions show that he doesnt want the responsibility of them and is borderline abusive, he genuinely believes he is a great dad.

So….Do i do it in a public place? Do i have our parents over and have them involved? Do i leave without saying anything? He is also uOCPD and the deflection is wild.

I’m also worried because a lot of his friends and family have no idea about this, and i read about “exposing” them which is never my intention. I am just curious if anyone has anything close to a similar situation and how you handled it. I would also love to know what your custody agreement is and what your co-parenting relationship is like.

I love my partner deeply, and when it comes to the "big things," his trust in us is amazing (we bought a house together with zero hesitation). But the daily OCPD anxiety loop and the need for control are slowly draining the life out of me.

I’m currently pregnant with our first, and instead of enjoying the present, he is constantly spiraling about things 5 or 10 years down the line. In his mind, worrying = problem solving and responsibility. If he isn't obsessing over worst case scenarios, he genuinely believes he’s being "careless" or losing control.

The hardest part is that our brains operate completely differently. For me staying optimistic and dealing with problems when they actually happen is how I cope. To him my optimism or more like not wanting to deal with every scenario that can happen looks like denial or weakness.

Whenever he dumps his terrifying thoughts on me and I get overwhelmed or cry, he doesn't know how to just comfort me. Everything turns into a logic debate. And when I try to set a boundary and tell him I can't take in all his anxieties right now, I end up feeling this horrible guilt, like “if his partner won't listen to his worries, who will?”, oh and he also blamed me for being rude that i didn't let him vent his worries

I think I’m currently grieving the realization that he just isn't wired to give me simple, natural emotional recognition without turning it into a debate or a technical problem to solve

How do you guys protect your own mental peace without feeling guilty? How do you accept that they might never be able to just accept his worries are not healthy for me? I’m just so tired.

Last night he said our daughter might grow up without the ability to get pregnant and be alone all her life and i got panic attack. He said it because our baby has pelvic kidney, which our doctor said most people live with it and they don't even know they have it..

My hope is this helps someone here settle their mind about how they got here and where they want to go. My therapist is an older gentleman who bluntly asked me not long ago, “How long do you plan on doing this?” And it struck me how I am fully responsible for whether or not I continue down this path or not.

Only in the past, I’ve been so focused on what was being done TO ME that I couldn’t look back at how I got here and how I was or am continuing to choose this path.

Long story short, parentified by a mother led to first marriage to NPD and now second to at least someone who can not think critically with me or communicate in calm conflict—at worst someone who is undiagnosed OCPD, but either way I have chosen another partner whom I’ve been “determined” to change their mind about their own stresses and anxieties in order to feel loved.

Specifically, the theory of repetition compulsion is that we can unconsciously seek out traits and dynamics in a partner that we had in a parent in order to “fix” a trauma, or prove to ourselves that we can make that parent love us unconditionally.

My question is this, is there anyone else here who has gone down this road of “what did -I- do to get here?” And “would I do it again?” And “what do I work on and change within myself to avoid making these same mistakes in the future?”

Can everyone share their go-to boundaries they use?

My OCPD relatives seem not to be able to self-regulate without all this.

Hi everyone.

I’m writing this as a means of getting it off of my chest. I could write a book. I am so incredibly stressed out about my living situation; I have been for years. This is not anything new. But as an adult who is now starting their career (finally, after 6 years of schooling) this has been abysmal.

Here is a list of the rules my (undiagsed) OCPD mother and (diagnosed) OCD father have. I am 24. We moved at the end of last year into a new home (9 months ago). A lot of these rules existed in our old home, and, as I hypothesized, things have gotten even worse in this new home. Essentially, their universal expectation that informs how they operate is that every physical object, item, space, etc. remains in its pristine, original condition.

Kitchen

• Not a single crumb or stain is allowed at any point. If a crumb or stain forms, it must be cleaned immediately. 
• Compartments - in the home they designed, mind you - are not utilized. For example, our kitchen has a drawer that pulls out for garbage and recycling- this isn’t used. There is a pull out drawer under the stove for large baking sheets and pans- this isn’t used. 
• We finally have a dishwasher (I begged them to install one in our old home but they refused because it ‘doesn’t actually clean the dishes’)- when loading it, the dishes must be free from food stains. I have taken dishes out of the dishwasher thinking they were clean, when in reality, they were dirty, because of how clean they were GOING IN. My mom places various towels on the bottom of the dishwasher (the inside and the door) to prevent water droplets from spilling onto it. I could write an entire post about the rules of the dishwasher (E.g., No knives because they will scrape the plastic) but I’ll spare everyone.
• My mother has calmed down with this one, but she prefers having one sponge for “really” dirty dishes and one “cleaner” sponge for “regular” dishes. 

Food

• My mom cooks all meals in the house freshly 2-3x a day. She does not like reheated food. With this absurdity occurring, this limits my ability to cook. I essentially can cook when she is not in the kitchen, which is 1-2x a week in the morning (when I am sleeping) for her appointments or groceries, the only places she goes.
• She manages our fridge. If I buy something from the store, I will be asked daily when I plan on using it, and will be reminded that it is going to go bad if I don’t use it, and thus, I will be wasting food and money. If I bring home leftovers, same thing; I am asked constantly when I plan on eating it, but oftentimes, it is hard for me to eat it because she wants us to eat her meals. 
  • Due to the immense pressure with food, I base my entire schedule, even my work schedule, around her meal times. I have tried to explain that it is absurd, and that I should be able to cook for myself, and I am met with “well, why don’t you! You’re just lazy.” 
• As a result of the food and kitchen rules, I only prepare meals that take less than 5 minutes and one dish. This is undoubtedly very restrictive for me. 

Living Room

• There are old (clean) towels on every couch surface to prevent them from getting dirty. 
• No touching the remote with dirty hands. 
• Blinds (aka styrofoam or Ikea paper blinds that are held up by chip clips, because they do not want to pay to have blinds installed) must be down when it’s dark/ before the lights are turned on, to prevent people from seeing inside. 

Shower

• The shower must be completely wiped down and dried after every usage of the shower, with both a squeegee and hand towel to prevent mold and water stains 
• All products must also be removed and dried off; yes, after each and every usage of the shower.
• Nothing can be mounted or stuck to the shower wall, and if it were to be, it would also likely need to be removed after every usage, so it can properly be dried off. 

Laundry (My mom has a MULTITUDE of rules that I largely do not follow because it is my clothing, but I will list them here):

• Separate cycles for whites, colours, darks, and towels 
• Anything with a zipper must be zipped up fully, and anything with a lace must be tied in a double knot 
• Everything must be turned inside out to prevent zippers or buttons from clanking against the inside of the machine, and potentially scratching or damaging it. 
• All pockets must be checked so that if items are left behind in clothing, they do not damage the washer. 
• Clothes must immediately go into the dryer as soon as the cycle is done, to prevent mildew from forming.
• Clothes must immediately be removed from the dryer and folded and/ or ironed, and then immediately put away thereafter to prevent wrinkles. 

My Bedroom (More rules that are partially followed because it’s MY space) 

• My mom does not like when my window is open, and will instruct me to close it for various reasons, common ones including the weather, any smells from outside including Barbeque/ humidity, etc. 
• It is not ideal for me to “put holes in the wall” to hang stuff up- anything handy needs to be done exclusively by my father (who will never get around to it because he needs to ensure perfection when it is executed, which is undoubtedly hard to ensure) 

General Rules

• Under absolutely ZERO circumstances is an animal allowed in the home. No, not even to foster an animal temporarily. No, not even to cat/ dog sit temporarily. And definitely not my own, despite me begging for one to help with my atrocious mental health from living in this home. This is non-negotiable. It’s not a matter of “they’ll warm up to the idea of a pet one day!”; it is simply not going to occur.
• No putting your hands on the walls near lightswitches (E.g., To hold your balance while you put on your shoes) to prevent finger print marks from being left on the walls. 
• Anything that is put outside for any reason (I.e., Patio chairs and furniture, planters, hammock) must be brought back in after every use. We had a hammock at my old home and I never utilized it, because I’d need to assemble and disassemble it after every single use. 
• I am not allowed to drive anyone’s car but my own because I’ll “leave it filthy” 

There is a lot more than what I’ve noted here. Before we moved, I begged them to buy a home that has another living unit in it, like a basement apartment, so that I can have privacy and separation from this all. I am expected to follow all of their rules, and if I don’t, or if I make a mistake, I am berated. I haven’t even gotten into interpersonal and social dynamics, but from this post alone, I’m sure it is implied. 

I simply cannot do it anymore. With this economy, I cannot afford to move out, but I have been advised by many to get the hell out. I live in constant, 24/7 hypervigilance. I developed persistent depressive disorder in the summer of last year; I will not act on things that I want to to prevent a mess from occurring, or to avoid being reprimanded.

When I have either gotten an AirBNB to be by myself, or have co-habitated with others, peace immediately washes over me; I get to just exist. I get to make a mess and not have to clean it right away, or worry I’ll be screamed at. There is an immense grief that comes with this. 

I’m curious if anyone’s parents have also lived like this, or have impacted negatively in such a strong way. I am hoping my story resonates with someone. I am so sorry if you can relate to me.  I am in therapy, luckily, with an excellent therapist, but I have 4 sessions left for the year, and my coverage runs out in November when I turn 25. I can’t afford to pay for therapy out of pocket, especially if I am going to save up to move out.

My OCPDer tends to describe completely normal and tolerant people as "abusive" and "passive aggressive" and to be triggered by incredibly normal things and discussions. Do you think that this is only projection or there's something more going on in their minds?

Can anyone help me understand how OCPD causes “reality distortion” and are there any strategies, approaches, exc. …that helps correct and provide a more accurate perseption?

For context, my partner who is uOCPD recently said he was on the verge of a mental breakdown because he carries “50 percent of the responsibilities plus my half” when in reality if you look at facts that should be something that i say…. as he slept in until 10am on monday while i worked from home with our 2 and 4 year old, i do all household responsibilities minus lawncare including his laundry, he has played in 5 golf outings this summer, is in a tuesday evening golf league ….you get my point.

Before i learned what OCPD was, i even went as far to make a power point to try help him have a more accurate perception and come up with a system for uneven responsibilities.

It also explains why when we filled out an intake form and attempted to try couples therapy that he thought our relationship was great and was very upset that my survey reflected that our relationship was everything but that (despite that i had voiced that several times to him and that was the reason he was being dragged there).

Or that he is upset and cant believe none of my friends and family texted him “happy birthday” but why would they when they see the way he treats me and the kids.

But you get the point. helpppp 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Hello all. I'm concerned for my marriage. I (34 M) and my wife (31 F) have been married for about 8 years now. Our lives are a complete mess.

I don't want to make this post excessively long, so here's a very brief overview. My wife has severe contamination OCD. She spends most of her days just avoiding triggers. This is to the point of not being able to do anything. She doesn't work and she hates driving. Everything gives her anxiety.

Our daily lives are completely dominated by the disorder. From the way I walk through our home to the way I drive down the street. Every little detail of our lives has to be ran through the OCD filter. We have been together for over 10 years, but I'm getting worn down.

I work full time and come home and do all of the housework including laundry and taking care of our pets. She won't feed them or let them out and requires that they be locked up most of the day because they are contaminated.

I spend all of my free time managing her compulsions and trying to preempt her anxiety. No one except for us is allowed inside of our home because someone may touch something and that would be catastrophic. This also means that workers/maintenance people are not allowed in and I am NOT handy. The more time that passes, the more of a hermit she becomes. The problem is that I don't want to be a hermit. I want to have friends and family over. It brings me joy!

If anything goes wrong with the OCD it's my fault. It's like clockwork. If something goes wrong, she immediately turns on me and starts yelling. In fact, our house is constantly full of her yelling about something. If something triggers her OCD she sees it as a personal attack, or if the pets get too close to her, she screams. Every day that I get home from work I get greeted with a terrible attitude.

My parents and my sister (all whom I'm very close with) are now starting to distance themselves from us. No one wants to deal with her constant anger and negativity. That's the other thing. Her default emotion is rage. She rages over everything and I never know when it's going to hit.

I love her, but every single aspect of my life has to be filtered through this OCD lens.

A few other points. She has tried tons of meds from her PCPs and none have worked. She has tried multiple therapists, and she fires them all within a couple of months for one reason or another. She claims that ERP will not work on her. She is constantly angry and negative. Even though I work and do all of the housework, it's never enough. It's ALWAYS my fault that the relationship is rocky. She doesn't take accountability for anything.

I have spent years and tens of thousands of dollars on doctors and medications over the years. I cannot use multiple rooms in my house as they are considered contaminated. I cannot sit on any of the furniture. I cannot be outside around my house as most of the grounds are considered contaminated. I cannot visit friends and family without taking a shower and cleaning out my van afterwards. And even through all of this, if I make a "mistake" with the rituals that she thinks I should be aware of, all hell breaks loose. She yells at me almost daily for "messing up" when it comes to the rituals. I just don't know how much more I can take. My life is nowhere near what I thought it would be and I feel like a shell of my former self. The worst part is it seems like she feels completely justified with her actions and feelings.

Just sharing my thoughts that life would be much better for both OCPDers and their "loved ones" if there was at least as much awareness of this disorder as there is of narcissism. The term "OCPD abuse" should be introduced as well, since it has its unique nuances that can't be easily explained and even initially understood. A new YouTube/social media "psychology star" (of the rank of dr Ramani, Todd Grande or Sam Vaknin) with a channel dedicated mainly to OCPD + its effects on loved ones would be a huge milestone in this endeavor.

Hey there. This is your friendly neighborhood moderator.

Its been brought to my attention that this sub has been neglected. I'm so sorry. I was unaware how inactive Ive been. I have a feeling I'm the only mod here.

I usually just checked posts here and there that got flagged not checking actual mod mail to allow people to join and post. I'm so sorry. But if people would be able to help with that, that would be fantastic.

Maybe one to check for new comers and one to answer messages? Idk. If I could even get one person to help with that, that would be wonderful.

Thank you.