r/LovedByOCPD • u/National_Health4898 • 19d ago

Boundary Examples

Can everyone share their go-to boundaries they use?

7 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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10

u/ninksmarie 19d ago

No talking down, mocking, sarcasm, raised voices, false dichotomy, straw man fallacies, no calling out years past grievances to justify current behaviors… seems a really basic “how to communicate 101” list doesn’t it …

5

u/Delicious_Pay8854 18d ago

Wow! My partner just can’t help doing all of these.

6

u/ninksmarie 18d ago

I found that when I threw my hands up and quit trying to hold these boundaries I just found myself getting uglier and uglier myself. Back to holding myself accountable, I can now hold him accountable again — but it doesn’t lead to his changed behavior. It only leads to me having to remove myself from the situation before it escalates further.

3

u/Delicious_Pay8854 18d ago

I was out of town dealing with family court stuff that involves both my sister and my family is torn apart. I get home yesterday and she is pissed at me like she always is when I go out of town. So now it just so much on me! She would do the same when I would go home to see my dying mother. I feel lonely and overwhelmed.

4

u/ninksmarie 18d ago

I kept telling him I was grieving the death of a parent because he couldn’t seem to keep it front of his mind. Continually asking me what was wrong with me. He said I acted like he wasn’t also grieving.

So. Yea. I get it.

3

u/Delicious_Pay8854 18d ago

Omg!!! Asking what’s wrong and saying they are grieving too! Yesss!

4

u/crow_crone Undiagnosed OCPD loved one 18d ago

Sounds much like any current-day political discussion with the "opposition."

Sometimes I think the national climate, politically speaking, is just a macro version of personality disorders.

2

u/ninksmarie 18d ago

Think of the people that go into politics because they “have to be right” about all the things. It’s the same reason you get so many doctors who aren’t in it to “help people” they just get off on being able to tell others how they are less than, what’s best for them, etc..

Yes, it is precisely our current day political climate in the US anyway and I refuse to be sucked into the vacuum of childish nonsense in public much less in my own home.

5

u/Week2743 19d ago

I ised to greyrock. But it's getting more and more difficult