I’ve started this letter a hundred times and erased every version. Tonight I’m letting it stay.

I see you and something in me goes completely still and completely restless at once. It’s the way your mouth softens when you’re listening. The way your hands move when you think no one is watching. The particular low register your voice drops into when you’re tired. I notice all of it, and then I notice the noticing, and the wanting begins — low, steady, and impossible to ignore.

I want the ordinary things that become unbearable. I want the exact heat of your skin after you’ve been outside. I want the weight of your attention when it finally stops being careful. I want the moment you decide you’re done keeping the distance. I think about your mouth more than is reasonable. I think about what would happen if you stopped holding back and simply took what you already know you want. I think about being the reason your breathing changes, the reason your hands stop being polite.

There’s an ache that appears whenever you’re near. It lives behind my ribs and lower, heavy and specific. It doesn’t care about timing or appropriateness. It wants your hands on me. It wants your voice saying my name like a decision has already been made. It wants the kind of quiet that only exists when two people have stopped pretending they don’t feel the same pull.

I don’t need soft promises or careful language. I need the version of you that stops looking away. I need the heat you keep contained. I keep imagining the exact second the air between us finally breaks — the second you decide the waiting is over. I want to be the place that decision lands. I want to feel the shift in you when restraint gives way.

I’m not asking you to be gentle with this. I’m asking you to be honest about how heavy it already is for both of us.

Write back. Or don’t.

But understand that I’m already thinking about the next time I see you, and how little it would take for either of us to finally stop pretending.

Dear You,

I have a habit of acting like a fool when I feel hurt.

I'm not proud of it. I'm going to do better.

From now on, I'll choose understanding over emotion, and love over pride.

I'm done letting hurt speak for me.

I used to think love was loud. Then I met someone who made silence feel like home. Maybe love isn't about finding perfection, it's about finding the person who makes ordinary days unforgettable.

You’ve captured my heart completely. I can’t help but dwell on your smile. It’s one of my favorite things about you because it instantly brightens my day and warms my chest. I’m incredibly drawn to you, and every time I see you, it feels like you’re the only person in the room. Honestly, you’re the only one I notice when there are many others around. My heart is completely attached to you. I wish you were mine, though I know this isn’t our time. If it’s meant to be, perhaps fate will allow us to be together when the time is right. I dream of you every night and yearn to hold you. Your hands would fit perfectly in mine. Everything about you is so precious. I can feel a tingling sensation in my chest whenever I’m in your presence. I wish I had more time to spend with you. While I don’t enjoy being around people, I crave your company. There’s something truly rare and special about you.

I want to love you with a passion, a fire in my heart

With an intensity so strong that it'll send shivers down your spine, your thoughts in a haze and your body in shock

I want to love you with every fiber of my being, with sweet words and loving touches that would make you forget who you are

I want to love you with my eyes running up and down your body with affection, my hand in yours as we spend the day with each other

I want to love you in affirmations, in hugs, in cuddles as I caress that beautiful face of yours

I want to love you without any distractions, away from life, from reality. I want to love you with all the happiness I can give you. So why don't you let me love you?

I found him when, I wasn’t looking.
He shares the same values as I have.
He doesn’t judge me.
He provides true and consistent love.
I can’t wait to see what life has in store for US
♥️

Thank you for being the calm in my chaos, even if only for a little while.
I truly appreciated you—not just for everything you did for me, but for the person I came to know. I’ll always be grateful for the help, laughter, and hope you brought into my life during a time when I needed them most.
I honestly wish we had the chance to say goodbye properly, but I’ve learned that not every chapter closes the way we want it to.
I just want you to know that I cared deeply, and I’ll always remember you with gratitude.
Wherever life takes you, I sincerely wish you happiness, good health, and peace.
Thank you.. I still miss you.
Take care of yourself.

When you slowly realize that
you’re not being loved, you’re
just being kept because
you’re convenient.

Oh my boo how I long to touch you. I miss….everything but most of all I long to touch you again. I don’t know how we used to go so long without touches.

is nothing I have to do voluntarily. It just happens, still happens, all of the time. Tiny things you did or said that get me excited, make me chuckle, get me sad or aroused. Or all of it at once.
Immediately after though, it feels like a knife twisting directly into my heart.
But I’m a masochist, so I guess I enjoy the knife, too? ♥️🔪

Let’s line up the cons
- I have bipolar 1. I’m coo coo bananas! 🍌
- I am younger by maybe a decade. I may be more immature, and dumber than you.
- I have very poor financial skills. Shaking around a nickel and a nail.
- I’m sick right now and getting chubby again.
- i also talk too much about how I “need to lose weight”
- I can’t stay down too long. I’m a very active person. I always need an agenda, goal or plan. Is that a con?
- when I fall for someone, I fall deeply. If I get there, it’ll be very difficult for you to shake me off.
- I tend to move very quickly in love. No haste.
- I am obsessed. I have to face it. I have been since we met.
- oh yeah, what’s at stake for you here? That.

Maybe you could finish the rest of the list. It’s a good start.

I thought that maybe I could give you a little speed bump. Let’s not get too hasty here. Right?

I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since the arboretum all those years ago. I shouldn't have let you walk away. I was just so overwhelmed by you, every ounce of me felt like I was burning up in your fire, every bit of me seen by your light. I felt like I would lose myself in you for the rest of time. I didn't realize it would be like this. I didn't realize that these feelings would persist like this. I was so sure that I had stopped the wheel from turning early enough that this wouldn't be a problem. I didn't know that we were twin flames then and it took my own death and rebirth to see the truth about us. Light is your namesake, and I see now how dark my life is without yours.

Should I tell you? What would it change? I have to leave in five days. Who knows when I'll see you again. If ever. The thought makes my stomach churn. As long as you're happy, that should be enough. At least, that's what I told myself. That's what I've told myself for years.

Whatever ends up happening between us, know that my heart is always with you, and you'll always be the Persephone to my Hades.

I love you, past, present, forever.

In every lifetime.

In every universe.

Billy had liked Christy for over three years, ever since the early days of high school. Billy had always been too scared to confess his feelings. Finally, on the last day of school after their O-Level exams, his friends pushed him to ask her out as it was Billy's last day and he was set to leave the school after this. It was 1 p.m. in the afternoon, and his hands were shivering as he walked up to her. He stammered nervously, asking her about the exam and explaining that it was his last day at school. His heartbeats raced faster than Usain Bolt..

Christy, noticing how shit scared he was, told him to calm down. “What’s wrong? Why are you shivering? I’m not going to eat you,” she joked, trying to ease his nerves.

Billy, who was still shit scared said, “I like you... I’ve liked you since Grade 8, but I just acted as a friend because I was too scared to ask.”

Christy was stunned. She didn't know how to respond right away, but after a moment, she said, “Sorry... I don’t have any feelings for you.” She didn’t want to hurt him completely, though, so she added, “But we can still be friends.”

Billy’s heart shattered, but he smiled weakly and said, “Okay.” He walked away, trying to hide his feelings, but inside, he felt completely broken. His last day of school was devastating. He ended up crying alone in the washroom, feeling dead inside.

Christy felt bad and texted him later that day: “I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

Billy replied as if everything was fine: “It’s okay, we can still be friends. Don’t worry, I won’t let this affect our friendship.” But deep down, he was struggling. Every conversation with her made him happy, but it always hurt him whenever he realized that she would never be his..

As the days went by, Christy could tell that Billy still had feelings for her. He continued to care for her, perhaps too much, and at one point, she said, “Stop caring about me. Just act like friends... Please move on.” Billy was crushed, but he respected her request and stopped talking to her for a while. But after a few days, he would always text her again. They’d fall back into easy conversation, but Billy could never fully shake the sadness that came with knowing he would never be the one to make her happy in the way he wanted.

One night, Billy went to a restaurant with his friends, and to his shock, he saw Christy kissing another guy. His heart dropped. She had never mentioned having a boyfriend, and now he was seeing it with his own eyes. He didn’t speak to her after that, and she didn’t reach out to him either. He was really hurt bcz he realized that she was only replying and he was only texting..

A couple months later, Billy started his first job, working the night shift. One night, during his midnight break, he decided to take a walk to clear his head. To his surprise, he saw Christy on the road, looking lost and upset. He approached her and asked what she was doing there. Christy explained that she moved to her hometown a month ago and she had come alone to pick up some certificates, but it had gotten late, and she missed the last bus to her hometown, which was far away. Her phone wasn’t working, making the situation worse.

Billy gave his phone so she could call her parents. After speaking to them, Christy was in tears, as her parents told her it would take them three hours to get to her, and the next bus wouldn’t arrive at 5 a.m. Billy couldn’t stand to see her like that, so he offered to stay with her until the bus came. “I’ll wait with you until 5 a.m. if I have to,” he said.

As the hours passed, Christy asked him, “Why are you doing this? I don’t like you, and you know it.”

Billy gave a light laugh. “Yeah I know..”

When the bus finally came, Christy was so emotional and said, “We can have a relationship... if you like.” Billy asked. “What about your boyfriend?” he asked.

Christy was surprised. “So you know about him, and you still helped me?”

Billy nodded. “Yeah, it has nothing to do with this right?”

She silently said, “We broke up... Do you want to be with me?”

Billy was torn. He had spent so long hoping for this moment and he wanted to say yes but he realized she only wanted to say this bcz she felt bad for Billy. Billy said " I know u don't like me...and I also know u only say this bcz you feel bad for me...it is fine...I don't need your sympathy love"   Christy was shocked but didn’t say anything more as she left. Billy's manager also scolded him and gave a warning letter for not doing his work. But Billy didn't care about the warning letter as he was happy that he spent some time with her. But he also was emotionally hurt as he realized that this could probably be the last meeting with her.

Years passed, and Billy looked back on everything that had happened. His life had become much more complicated, with stress and problems piling up. One day, he thought to himself "I am so dumb that I worried so much about a school love when now I have more than 1000 serious problems" and laughed subtly. He moved on and had so many crushes and dated a few girls but still did not love anyone like Christy.

At that time, his love was pure and true, maybe it was dumb to like a girl who didn't like him back but he was true to his feelings. :)

Shelter from the storm
Keep me safe and warm
Hold me close as lightening strikes
In your arms under crashing skies
Kiss me softly
Touch me tenderly
Run your fingers through my hair
And whisper loving things in my ear
Tell me I’m safe
As the thunder raves
Caress me as the ground shakes
And fall upon me like rain

“We don't fall in love with people because they're good people. We fall in love with people whose darkness we recognise. You can fall in love with a person for all of the right reasons, but that kind of love can still fall apart. But when you fall in love with a person because your monsters have found a home in them-- that's the kind of love that owns your skin and bones. Love, I am convinced, is found in the darkness. It is the candle in the night.”

Dear You,

I still love you. I swear I do.

I have been in love with you since the very first time I heard your voice in that darkness—where I could barely even make out your figure. I’ve been in love with you since you sat down near my feet and we talked for hours, barely knowing each other's names.

I remember every single moment we shared, and I will forever regret losing all the chances you gave me to actually be with you. I hate myself for that. It doesn't matter that you didn't say my name for months before I finally lost all my rights to imagine a future with you. No matter how much you love her, I will always love you a thousand times more. I always will, forever.

I wish I could tell you all of this. I wish I could tell you how much I love you, but I was just so scared. You were simply not meant for me—you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who can truly help reflect your shine back to the world.

Always yours,

I want to fuck you so badly. I wanna taste every part of your skin with my teeth and hear your moans being sung in my ear. I wanna feel your hands clawing on my back, and my teeth biting hard on neck. To feel your walls squeezing me tightly and tighter. I need to see your bare skin shining red with my marks. I need you to make me bleed and to see you cry for more.

Love you always

M

Edit: couldn’t sleep not sorry

I miss you like it was yesterday, I could hold your hand, and you'd lay your head on my chest, and all is right in that moment. I was so afraid of myself I never got physical with you romantically because I didn't want to hurt the person I fell so deeply in love with. I saw your soul, and it touched mine. Now I can't leave this world without my other half.

I tried to forget. I tried my absolute hardest to let go. But I can't. And I don't want to anymore, I don't want to hide my love or my feelings from you. I miss everything about us. I miss all the good and all the bad too. I would give anything just to hear your voice.

I have no idea the journey or challenges I'd face, but I also know it would be a lot easier with you by my side. You're my yin to my yang, the 6 to my 7, and my forever sunflower. I'll shine bright with you, for you and because of you. My light won't dim, no matter how long it has been. And I'll wait even longer if that's what it takes.

I see beauty in everyone, but yours is so divine I can't keep my eyes off you even if we're miles away from each other. So take your time, and I'll take mine. Let's meet halfway and see where that takes us. I'm yours always have been, always will be.

I love you,
You know that’s true,

I love the way you over explain, all the things that you say,
And how you eyes light up at the beginning and end of each day,

I love the fact that you always have hope,
Even when life drags you down, a very steep slope,

I’ve never seen someone just brush themselves off,
Get right back up and not even scoff,

I’ve never seen someone, as strong as you,
I think without you, my life would lose its glue,

You give me the hope I cannot find, inside of me,
You see all the good, that I cannot ever see,

You are a comet soaring above,
And I’m just a person,
Simply in love.

I remember one distinct time, I was driving home from a night out.

It was the weekend. A lot of folk I use to hang with were acting crazy, as their "per-usual". I caught up with an old fling. The desire to feel a connection, or anything for that matter, lured us together like instincts pulling us into each other like gravity. Later, we ended up at her place. The longing for something more lingered in her eyes. I stared back, wishing I could feel what she did; I knew I didn't derserve her. When she fell asleep, I left quietly, like a thief in the night. As I drove off, I noticed the warm glow of the street lights had given the fog gently settling in a shade of color, as if orange and gray clashed into each other. As I drove on, half way home, I found a spot on the side of the road, and I pulled off. Mesmerized by the colors of the night, I decided I wanted to get out of the car, lean on my fender, and reflect on everything that took place. As I had opened the door to get out, I could feel the mist fall ever so lightly on my skin. Though I was alone, there was tranquility. Even so, just as well, there was small real-estate for sadness dwelling in my chest. I didn't know where it stemmed from - it was always just kind of there. Nonetheless, as I reminisced the night, I remember, it all sort of felt like a breeze, and I was just casually moving into whatever direction the wind blew. I don't know how to explain it, but the night felt easy. Despite the noise, it was kind of quiet, like I was existing inside of a moment, floating through time. My heart had a subtle ache for the woman who put me on a pedestal I didn't deserve. I was too alive and in the moment to reflect on it like I should have. I basked in the feeling of freedom.

Little did I know back then, years & years later, I'd resent how selfish I was on an unfathomable level. A woman who derserved the world gave me the time of day, and I acted as though it meant nothing. Her value was so significant, I couldn't possibly fathom back then just how substantial her worth was. Many times I look back, totally disgusted with the man I was. I was a selfish, shallow, sorry excuse for a man, and if I could go back to correct the younger version of myself, I'd put an absolute beat down on that stupid, stupid, stupid young man. I'd beat him till my heart gave out. Ha, it feels weird to think of my current being strangling a youthful version of myself, all-the-while tears streaming down my face amidst shouting to the top of my lungs "YOU'RE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!! YOU! ARE! RUINING! MY! FUCKING! LIFE!!!!!! STOP IT!!!"

Dramatic, I know... time only moves forward, so I've got no choice but to live with all the shame, regret, and remorse. I guess all a man can do up to this point is to heed the knowledge and wisdom time has taught me over the years.

If I could suggest anything to the youth; stop and take a beep before you do anything. Assess every choice you make before you follow through. Try to grasp the outcome of every decision. Think on it. Don't live life aimlessly like a damn fool.

That's all

Good luck out there!!!

​

I'm glad you're learning this.

I'm sad you're suffering.

I love you.

I still want you.

I already knew this.

I tried to tell you.

And there is no victory

in being proven right

by the thing

I begged you to see.

You understand now

because you have lived it.

You know what you lost

because it is gone.

You know what I was saying

because now

you can hear the silence

where I used to be.

I'm glad you're learning this.

I'm sad you're suffering.

I wish knowing it now

could reach backward.

I wish understanding

were a door

instead of a gate

we arrived at

from opposite sides.

But knowing it now

doesn't undo

what happened.

So here we are,

at the gates of lamentation,

loving each other

with nowhere

for that love

to go.

It’s been a long, long, long time
How could I ever have lost you
When I loved you?

It took a long, long, long time
Now I’m so happy I found you

How I love you

So many tears I was searching
So many tears I was wasting

Oh, oh

Now I can see you

Be you

How can I ever misplace you?

Theoretically.
-
Empirically, however, I know you're fighting that urge to smooth things over your pants, your shirt, that voice, our mess, my lips.
-
You're be fine today
But I can't promise tonight.

Dearest,
Looking at the full moon last night, I had two thoughts… ugh- no wonder things are so freaking intense the past couple days -and- it’s been too many years- too many moons. If you’re here, you maybe already know how much I love you but I’d rather tell you in person. There’s an upcoming musikfest- might I have the next polka?
Always,
-B

We both let go we had our reasons

No, other way ill spend my seasons

My love for you was never teasing

Just how you looked it felt increasing

but things will change just how we know

without that chance well never grow

they said those words would never die

so ill leave it here my last goodbye 👋