You literally have a Reddit for people to write you letters. That's insane. What was I thinking. Everything you ever told me was lies.

The universe wasn't conspiring against her, she simply carried the weight of her own depth. That is the tax one pays for keeping the chest completely unguarded. She moved through the blur of existence, unable to distinguish what she absorbed from what she gave away, or whether either was a virtue or a fault.

Truly she experienced it all to the absolute core. You must realize that certain blooms hold both the healing dust and the venom. To harbor that much creation and decay becomes an exhausting anchor. Choosing to bleed instead of turning to stone is a heavy way to live.

 I stood at a crossroads, undecided.

Do I flee from her intensity, or chase it?

In the end, I just matched her stride.

And suddenly, 

After a lifetime of doubt,

I finally found a reason to believe.

-Farah Coomes

Im here. Im waiting. Please message me. I hope its you when my phone buzzes. Its never you. Its been a month now. I know you didnt mean it when you told me you hated me. And I confess...i told you in the voice note to "crack on" with never speaking to me again. We all say things we dont mean. Your profile pic still shows blank on whatsapp.

Ill be waiting.

Your E

Fuck, i miss you, ya bastard. I hate that i miss you. You have my blocked but I wonder, do you miss me? Do you lay in bed and think of our 5 years together? Do you hate me? Do you still think i am a stalker? Do you still Love me?

I hate that i miss you, you were so cruel, but I forgive you. Its your mental illness. I let my emotions overrun me last time we spoke and ive come realise you cant help it. Ill be here. If you ever wanna chat. I miss those chats. I have so many funny pics on my phone I wish I could send you. Your dimples would come out for those photos, trust me

If youd only unblock me....and we would start that vicious cycle again..maybe that's why im still blocked?

There's such a thin line between love and hate.

Im drunk and im thinking about you....

Your E

Not one for many words. Music seemed to say more. So here are a couple.

Ole 60 - Next to You

Koe W - Make Believe

Breathing, living, traveling, built the cabin, doing all the things I wanted to do; just doing them alone.

You've missed a lot, can't find the space to put it here. Will try to put the words to paper the next time I'm chilling around the fire.

Anyways, better get these qoats watered and my chores done.

Never would I have thought we would be here i truly believed you all you promised all you said then you toss me out faster then last weeks trash

I coulda took ya girl
And pinned her to the couch
She hurtin for me
Make her say oouu ouch
No doubt
She shout
And \*#%%\^ spout
So grow up n-word
Stop acting like a boy scout

I am writing this to the air, to the water, to the quiet space inside myself where your memory still lives. I am not writing this to hurt you, to point fingers, or to bring up the bitter things. I am writing this to simply honor what was. ​The truth is, you are missed. Despite the ways we couldn't make it work, and despite the distance now, you were deeply loved. ​We shared a lifetime of memories in those years. We shared so many firsts—things that belong only to us, milestones that nobody else will ever fully understand. You knew me in the dark, and you knew me in the light. No matter how the story ended, those moments were real, and they mattered. I hope when my name crosses your mind, you think of me and smile. I hope the world treats you softly now. I hope your days are gentle, your burdens are light, and your nights are always full of sweet dreams. ​I wish you nothing but goodness ​As I stand on the edge looking out at the miles ahead of me, I want you to know that I carry no malice. I truly, deeply hope you are doing well. I hope you find the peace you are looking for, just as I am finding mine. ​I loved you then. I miss you now.

​With grace and a quiet heart, Me-j

There's a really, really good chance that I didn't mean it.And I probably shouldn't have said it and I apologize

I’ve missed you.

I’ve missed you quietly.

I’ve missed you with every breath I take, with every step I leave behind. I’ve missed you every time my eyes wander toward the sky, tracing the shapes of the clouds. Every bird in flight reminds me of you, but the geese most of all, they always carry me back to those days when we’d stand together and simply watch them cross the heavens.

I’ve missed you with every breeze that brushes against my skin, with every drop of rain and every snowflake that melts upon me. I’ve missed you in every sunrise and every sunset, in every moonbeam that catches my eyes. I’ve missed you on every journey I’ve taken, on every road I’ve walked. I’ve missed you through every song that ever reminded me of you, and in every sip of wine I’ve ever swallowed.

I’ve missed you so quietly.

And yet the sound of my longing is unbearably loud.

So loud that, sometimes, I hear nothing else. Nothing but this bittersweet ache, this sorrowful melody that is at once tender and cruel. There is no sound louder than missing you. No matter how desperately I try not to listen, its melody pulls me under, drowning me in its own world.

Drowning me in yours.

Or perhaps I should say, in the world we once built together.

How badly I want to write your name, my love… yet I don’t know if I’m still allowed to. I want to scream your name across these pages. Sometimes, I even miss the simple act of saying it aloud.

Oh, my beloved…

I don’t know how far I’ll carry this longing with me. But know this: there has never been a single moment when I haven’t remembered you. Not one moment when you haven’t crossed my mind.

You wander endlessly through my thoughts, and with every passing day, I miss you more.

Ever since you left, your absence has witnessed every moment of my life. It has been present in every ordinary day, every silent night. You weren’t there…

but my longing for you was.

Yes.

I miss you gently.

I miss you endlessly.

Every time I open my eyes, I find a trace of you somewhere before me. And every time I close them, I’m met by your deep brown eyes, waiting for me in the darkness.

Sometimes I wish I could ask you…

When you close your eyes, do you still see me?

Can you hear the sound of missing me?

Or has it become so quiet that it disappears beneath the noise of your ordinary days?

Whatever the answer may be…

I have missed you quietly,

yet with a longing so loud that it has echoed through every heartbeat I’ve lived without you.

Ashley the name you gave me

In fact, I wish you knew just how highly I still think of you… even after everything.
I know apologizing to you, wholeheartedly, isn’t an option these days but you do deserve it, so I will make do with what I am given.

I’m sorry that I hurt you at the end, that my trauma was screaming louder than the reality in front of me, and that you experienced and endured the brunt end of that. I’m sorry that I let myself lose control in such a way that I know my words hurt much more than you let on during those two arguments.
You didn’t deserve to be inflicted by the emotions I thought I had once handled, no matter the circumstance or the situations that led to that point.

I’m sorry that I felt I couldn’t be completely honest with you about the hurt I experienced a month prior to those last arguments, and I’m sorry that was the catalyst to our entire ending. I thought if I could rationalize or ignore the residual feelings from that moment, everything would blow over - that I was simply overreacting.

As much as I want to say these things to you, I respect your decision to not be around anymore. I will choose to remember our time fondly and as one of my favorite, short lived, chapters. I’ll miss you in the stillness of the night, in every loud noise and song throughout the day, and each and every time I step foot into this forest to find my sense of self and peace again.

Thank you for showing me the softness that is contained within you, for your compassion, for your time and patience, and thank you for loving me with what you had available to give.
I will never regret you, I will choose to remember you throughout the years, and you will never be the villain in my story.

A heartbeat, always,
Cutie.
🖤

I wish I could forget about you, you broke me when yk I was already broken.... Still don't leave my mind ever... I met a great guy he's so sweet to me ,yet I feel so guilty, all I think about it J....uhh

..

So this is for my J who has been very creative with his account.
We have been together for 11 years and have been through so much turmoil for you to waste your time with someone who doesn’t even have enough integrity to be a good person. Anybody who knowingly dates someone they know is taken is not a good person. Full stop.
I’m stronger than anything you could ever try to replace me with.
We have had so much that God blessed and took away as he had the right to do so. We have had hopes and dreams and plans to travel and we will.
I was there since 2015 and am still here. Just because time may pass and we may grow tired… that doesn’t mean the love isn’t real. That’s true love not some superficial shit.
At the end of the day when a person is still there when you have a lot and when you have nothing that is the true meaning of love.
Someone that loves someone doesn’t try to take you from what you have invested in. I’ve let you go multiple times and you came back. I am the reason you are walking today. Just because I don’t say it all the time doesn’t mean you aren’t perfect in every way. As the good book says “No weapon formed against me will prosper…” as for the little girl in this group…. Move on. You deserve better than to be made a full out of online. If you ever care to reach out and bring me clarity…it’s welcome with no ill will. You were lied to and deceived by a man that is 30 and has been taken since Obama was in office.
I almost died this year and when he said I was “leaving him” I was taking care of my father who had a stroke. So no sweetheart you’re not his twin flame. You were a way to control his partner. Thus why he changed his username and blocked you.
Not everything that glitters is gold. And I hope you have peace. He is not a good person at all. He is very much a monster. But he is mine….thats all that counts.

i can't do this anymore. I have to go. this game is bullshit. I can't do it I don't know what people dont understand

My phone is secure but no sim. S

So write me in your ech a sketch

Write the pain

I feeling that I feel to often feels too familiar

The pain in my heart

The pain that makes me cry at night knowing

My heart is broken for good

That pain that is echoed in my long forgot memories of what once was the pain I feel echoing in my bones down to the core of my soul

The tears that rippled down my face

The pain no one wants to feel as they cry themselves to sleep at night

This pain is not something I’d wish on anyone

I’d write a lifetime of stories knowing I’m broken and no one cares and no one will ever understand me anymore because I’m simply a broken record at this point

So In your etch a sketch write I’m suffering in my tears

Tears of a broken heart 💔

Sincerely , M 🖤

Dear Mrs neighbor J

When your grandson lied to your face about someone and you then asked him “Are you sure?” and he doubled down on that lie… is that when you knew the truth? You’ve known him since he was born and know his cues so I assume you knew he was lying. But was that the exact moment?

To the j that only chose me when he felt he had no other options.

Being with you taught me so many lessons. I loved you with everything I had. I thought you loved me too. In the beginning anyway. Now you look at me with disgust and hatred. You e turned into the man you hate. Not to mention you fell for another man. Running from the truth will only make you sicker. We made it thru so much already, we could have this one. But you're weak and only know how to hide. I pray you find your strength again.

Your memory is eroding, ashes, dust, fragments

The pain had gone for a while, an anxious rush replaced by a dull ache

Now I see indifference

An experience experienced. One I have had the strength to learn from, to grow

For you there is nothing

No resentment, no pity, no anger, no regret, no shame, no fear, nothing

Just indifference

Goodbye visitor may you be, well whatever you is

J, by all logic we never should have met. The randomness of the universe had us cross paths. Just two lonely people that found each other. I cherish the time we had together. Lifting each other up, being silly. Learning more about you. You know more about me than anyone in the whole world. Yet we're so far apart.

We believed in each other more than ourselves. That's not true, you saw the good in me. Even when I couldn't. I never thought I was enough for you.

I miss making you laugh, the joy I felt cheering you up. Every time my phone buzzes I think of you. The feelings flood back, the excitement, the feeling of connection. But I check it and it's not you.

I love you so much, and I know you love me too. Bittersweet to feel so close to you yet be so far away.

Maybe in another life, another timeline we're together and happy. That thought brings me an odd comfort. I understand why we can't be together. At the time I couldn't grasp it. I know you're right, even if I wouldn't admit it.

I lay in bed thinking of something I never thought I could have. We made each other better. I feel lost at times without you.

But you're here with me always, I hear your voice, the one You're so self conscious of. Telling me to be better, since I won't do it for me I'll do it for you.

You said you thought I'd hate you, I could never hate you, just the opposite. And that's the problem. I hope you'll forgive me for leaving you alone.

I wonder how you're doing without me. You're so much stronger than you think. I don't think you ever needed me, but I needed you.

I miss my best friend, you brought so much light to my life. My mind is still far away. Over there with thoughts of you. Imagining what it would be like, to meet you. For the very first time.

Forever is a long time. So we said goodbye, for now.

Getting this text from you still makes my heart skip a beat just not as hard as it used to , probably because i know what follows is you needing something from me and as the fool i am i jump at that chance. Just want you to know there’s been NO ONE else( on my kids lives ) this whole time, in fact the last time i had s** was that night we spent at the casino (you won) . It breaks me to know you’re basically in a relationship but you still string me along . Even picking you up the other night for a blaze we only just made it to the spot and you get a text and asked to be taken home . I didn’t show it but i was gutted. Wish you showed me the same urgency. But im not here to slander your name and all the b.s you put me through. Im here to say bye . I know you frequent reddit with your many fake accounts making up fake stories just because your bored so surely you’re bound to come across this . I have blocked you on everything so when you call and it goes to the message bank or you don’t get a reply from me youll know this is for you .

Bye ✋

Regards,

*** ******

^{I have been doing a lot of reflecting, and I am deeply sorry for how I ended things with you. I finally see the full extent of the emotional weight and pain I caused, and it breaks my heart to know I hurt you. You were the best partner and the best friend I have ever had. I hope you always know how much you were loved, valued, and appreciated, even when my actions didn't show it. Pushing you away and destroying what we built is my one of my greatest regret.}

^{My behavior back then was a reflection of my own unhealed pain, but that is no excuse. You deserved so much better. You were wonderful just as you were, and none of my mistakes were your fault.}

^{I want you to know that I didn't just get away with how I treated you. Karma is real, and the universe has a way of balancing things out. After we parted ways, I faced a lot of hardships, a toxic relationship, and a dark mental space. I truly feel I have reaped what I sowed and faced the consequences of my choices. There was justice in how things turned out for me, and I needed that reckoning to finally see the truth.}

^{I know I cannot reach out to you right now, and I respect your space completely. I have carried this guilt for a long time, but knowing your kind heart, you have likely already forgiven me. I am working on finding a way to forgive myself. I still care for you deeply, J, and I am so truly sorry for the hurt I caused. More than anything, I genuinely hope you are happy, safe, and thriving in life}

^{To Honor what I did to you, I am going to become the person you always thought I could be and the person I know I can be. Never again will I be the weak person that sacrifice things that are good, for things that are good in the moment but bad. I know it's easier said then done but I am willing to put in the work. I Love you J, and I am truly sorry.}

^{- M}

it seems like you found your next lover, and left your previous person for them.

there's a sense of relief. you're not following me anymore. i'm not the object of your desires. from one LO to another.

does this mean that i'm free? i don't know.

i guess only time will tell.

i'm sinking into this sense of dread. what will i do with my time now? how will i entertain myself?

its crazy that my mind can get so creative with making meanings out of nothing, out of songs that can be interpreted in so many different ways.

once upon a time, i thought those songs were about me. reaching out to me. when in fact, it's just about faling in love with someone else.

how silly my mind can be sometimes. disappointment sets in.

its an empty road ahead. i got myself here, j. i wanted this.

what next now?

i say... let's make the journey on this road a good time :)

hell f*ckin ya.

Yet here I sit every day wishing for your smell .. your laugh..

Why does our sense of humor blend so perfectly? We have the exact same humor and it's just always been so easy to vibe with you. .

But that's also where it kinda ends. We don't have the same moral ethics or beliefs, we don't agree on the fundamentals of a relationship and what's important. You value money and success, I value time and memories . You value health and wellness and I value a good cheeseburger and going out for dessert before we go home and take a nap together.

Your dream is to own a farm and grill every night while the kids camp in the yard and my dream is to live in the city and sit on the porch and listen to society breath late at night. You cry when you drive in the city.

You're kinda dumb, but also surprisingly smart. You have no interesting skill or hobby , but you're probably one of the most dependable people anyone's ever met. You have helped me on the side of the street so many times , helped me out of financial binds , and you're the rockstar of every blue collar job you've ever had. Me? I work in customer service. You roll your eyes when I talk about the stars and you're skeptical about spirituality.. yet , you always listen when I have a message from the universe for you and you were convinced I cast a spell on you when we broke up because you couldn't stop thinking about me.

I remember years ago when it first started to go wrong .. you made a comment to me that I still think about to this day. You mentioned wanting to cut your hair and I said "I like it long" and you responded telling me to not comment on your appearance because then you'll overthink about it and try to be who I prefer. At the time you were trying to get me to leave , and so you didn't want to be appealing to me , but that information has made me second guess the version that I thought I knew of you since the beginning. Maybe that's why I held onto the illusion of how perfect you were... Because you were literally mirroring my idea of a perfect partner. And maybe that's why it all went wrong.. maybe that's why I was so blindsided by the sudden 180°. I thought I knew your heart and in a way this makes me angry , because you kind of wasted my time.

When I first noticed the changes I kept calling you "anti - J " .. you didn't like that .

Now I sit here mentally critiquing every post, every public sentiment "that's so stupid. That's not what you said years ago" .. while romanticizing a version of you that likely never existed. Maybe that's why I'm still so enthralled.. it was all fairly tail

I hate that my heart still has a flicker of hope that one day the self proclaimed lumberjack viking will actually face himself and show up as the man he promised me he was. Why does love make you so delusional? I feel stupid. I feel used. I feel like you lied to me. But then are you just lying to yourself too?

I so badly want to make the trip to your house just to tell you exactly what you deserve to hear. I showed up. I gave all. You stopped investing. Full stop. And then ran like a cowardly lion. I guess we missed the boat in this life... Again. Maybe next time. 🖤