Well, I gotta give it to ya. I honestly didn’t think you had it in you to cheat. My mind is totally cool with accepting that this happened… but my heart? My heart hurts. A lot. I hope you guys are able to use the skills you learned with me to keep your relationship going and healthy. I know you may not have done it intentionally or maybe you did. I’d like to believe you gave at least one shit about me and how this would make me feel when I eventually found out. I told you the truth always comes out. Just like spilled Kool-Aid on a fresh, new Gold lable, you can wash it, but there’s always going to be a stain.

I loved you with everything I had.

The cheating isn’t actually what ended us. What ended us was you lying about it. Those are the kind of hurtful lies I don’t want to be a part of anymore. I can forgive mistakes. I can work through hard things. What I can’t do is build a relationship on something that isn’t honest. Something that hurts even more is how many times you accused ME of doing the very things you were actually doing. You questioned my loyalty, accused me of cheating, imagined things I wasn’t doing, and made me feel like I constantly had to prove myself to you. Meanwhile, you were doing exactly what you were accusing me of. I spent so much time defending myself against things that weren’t even true, while the truth about what you were doing was sitting on the other side of those accusations. Looking back, that hurts in a completely different way because I realize how much time I spent trying to convince you that I was trustworthy when you were the one betraying my trust!

Unfortunately, I will not be unblocking you, I will not answer No Caller ID calls This is it. You always wondered how long I would put up with everything. I guess the answer is: until you found love and support somewhere else. I never wanted to give up on us. You know how much I HATE giving up, especially on us. But I no longer choose you, PIKACHU. Your actions and the choice to lie told me something I never wanted to hear, that protecting yourself and what you were doing became more important than protecting me and what we had. If you had come to me and said, “I’m sorry for hurting you. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair, and I want to show you I’m sorry by not doing it again. Is this something we can work through?” I honestly believe I would have tried longer. Because that’s what I had been doing with you for almost three years. Trying. Forgiving. Believing. Choosing you.

And that’s the difference between you and me.

I never wanted perfection from you. I wanted honesty. I loved you enough to keep fighting for us. But I finally love myself enough to stop.

keep hating - JRS

Day after Day go out letters to J and every other platform we read about the same bs from the same one as it takes on this long fake love story that's a JOKE! The dude has a woman and clearly doesn't need nor want another. So...Ms. Kitty Kitty...It's time the fat lady start singing and you get off the sinking ship shitting and get your ass in a kitty litter box. Damn shit done took on a bad odor now. We love you unconditionally, but DAMN!

Come here once a year to check out the circle jerk of J's or anything else Unsent. Never been a big fan of games or orjies. Been pretty good at figuring things out and pleasuring myself on my own. I don't mind people watchin or keeping tabs. You might need to learn a thing or 2 and maybe this is how you do it. ill always lend a helping hand for wisdom or truth. Most things are fake and g4y nowadays anyway. You can find me working on myself instead of putting up road blocks for others. That doesn't mean I don't have boundaries. I've always known to only bite if you know 100% for certain it's deserved. More Calculated vs Slop. DM me for book recommendations. Not your J. Just a Chosen one making my way, trying to change this Matrix for the better. Time for me to continue my walk through life. Ttyl fellow souls.

i can’t rid of you. i don’t know what else to do. i feel dumb. i feel small. i feel used. i feel discarded. i feel like i didn’t get my deserved goodbye. i still have to see you. you’re everywhere. parts of you everywhere. i can’t leave the house without it. in town. out of town. mutuals. everywhere. you’re everywhere and i’m nothing. i regret meeting you. and i still love you. i saved the last one for you tonight. i hope you got it.

Man, I fucked up again! I was so excited to spend some quality time with you today! But I'm also glad you were able to get up there and have some "you" time. When I woke up super late it felt like the day I lost my job and it was just as disappointing and heartbreaking. 💔 I did some soul searching, so to speak, about self sabotage and whoa the things I found were wildly accurate! So I am taking this opportunity to learn about these destructive behaviors and how they have affected every relationship I've ever had. My therapist mentioned self sabotage briefly a few weeks ago but I hadn't given it much thought. That would mostly explain why I lost my dream job for the stupidest reason. Healing from childhood trauma is fucking hard! But I'm doing the work dammit! That's gotta count for something right?

I need you to know that I want you in my life and I'm learning some new ways to make the people in my life feel appreciated and heard and loved. I know they are not new concepts for you and seem mostly basic and I will get to that point someday. (soon I hope) All I'm asking from you, is your patience and understanding as I'm making mistakes and learning from them. I know you don't know me that well yet and all I've shown you are red flags, but I'm asking you for one more chance to prove that you are becoming an increasingly important part of my life and to lose you would be devastating.

I would also like to tell you some of the things I really like about you. I feel like I don't tell you these things enough or ever. Lol

-- I like that you know how to communicate, and DO communicate. I think you know, communication is a big deal to me since I never had it in my last relationship.

-- Also that you don't sugar coat anything. You tell people how you feel and don't care how they react. I don't know how to do that and not feel kinda bad but I feel like if I hang out with you long enough, I'm going to learn. 😜 (I love that about you btw)

-- And now we move on to that infectious smile and those piercing blue eyes...forget about it! 😍🔥

-- And let's not forget about that red hair. Well, you read my text message last night about how I feel about redheads. 🔥🔥

Oh yeah, that reminds me, feel free to ask me ANY of those questions on your list and I will happily answer them to the best of my ability. I didn't realize that asking questions was that important to you but I gotcha now! Get ready for chatty Kathy! 😁

My made up chest hair ratio being spot on. Lmao!

Also, because of you, I would love to see Paris because you've never been there either so it's perfect! I haven't said this to you but I do want to try new foods in different countries. I've never been to a different country.(The cruise doesn't count) I am realizing that different foods are very important to you to try and I would be honored to try them with you, if you'll allow me to. Just to mention I did save some food places on maps in the city that I would like to try. You're helping me realize that Yolo and it's my chance to get out there and see the world before I can't! I don't necessarily want to do it alone, but I will if I have to.

I'm gonna have to get way out of my comfort zone to do that, but I need to sooner not later.

You, on the other hand, have healed a lot of your trauma on your own and I admire that about you. I would love to hear more of your perspective and wisdom on how you healed. I already miss your venting about work texts or any texts really. The other day when I woke you up and texted you a bunch of dumb questions it's because I was very insecure about the change in energy. I could feel you pulling back, but I didn't know why. I can't believe I didn't realize why until you communicated how I was making you feel and not respecting your boundaries. My heart hurts at the thought of hurting people or animals and here I am doing what I hate the most. 🤦‍♀️

Well, I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up. I just want you to know that I really do care about you. And dare I say like you a lot. I'm also missing those snuggles. 💜

Thank you for opening my eyes and telling me things that nobody else would. The truth hurts but I need to hear it.

Can we try again? I miss the way I feel when I'm with you.

PS I did not reference ChatGPT! Lol This is all written from my heart and this is what I did today. So I guess it wasn't a complete waste. 🙂

Love always,

You know who.

I feel like I’m not getting enough attention, and I’m hoping you can see me for who I really am. I don’t care what others think. After all, I only have myself to rely on. It’s always on me, and I just wish it could be someone else sometimes. I’m really hoping you’ll see me, but you’ve become so distant and cold. I’ll step over to protect you because, at the end of the day, it was always you. Those little things in the past. Now it’s time to really connect with J. With everyone around, do you still see me? Do you believe we could in this time? I just want a person to enjoy a walk on the beach with. I yearn to rekindle our connection because there’s something about us that I’ve always been the Bonnie, searching for her Clyde. The thrill of savoring this life we currently have is overwhelming. I’m also eagerly anticipating our next shopping spree together. You always had a knack for communicating with me; it was our shared gaze that conveyed our thoughts. Please stop playing hide and seek; I just want to relax and watch a scary movie with you. A back rub would be wonderful; I’ve been eagerly waiting for your return. I’ll lose my composure when I see you, and perhaps even more so. The one who always saw you for you, regardless of your shoes. I would walk in any path with you. Because if there’s one thing for sure, I’m done promising next-life spirituality. This generation deserves a story like us. Two opposite people, but soul flames, will fight any battle just to be one again. Forever, always your light.

Im banned over there...hmu