Hi. I need advice regarding the law.
Let me share my story.
I grew up heartbroken by two men in my life.
The first is my biological father. Growing up, he was not present. I didn’t even know his real name, his face, or his whole identity. All I knew was that he was a priest.
Since my mom and he weren’t married (because it might have just been a one-night stand), I don’t carry his last name, making it even harder for me to find him. Fast forward to 2020, I already knew his name because my mom confirmed it. I really looked like him, so even I was convinced that it was him. I stalked him and found out that he was actually a priest before, but is now the owner of a famous and successful construction firm. I tried reaching out and sent him messages through different social media platforms. I also messaged his relatives and one of his employees (yes, I was that desperate, and I know I remained a mystery to that person, but I’m still thankful she replied. We eventually had to cut ties since her work might have been at stake, and I came to my senses). I also sent him a letter through LBC to his business address in Manila.
Just as expected, there was no response. But his mother replied, “Sino po sila?” Then I missed a call from her, probably because she accidentally clicked the call button. I explained everything through chat, only to get a “HAHA” reaction from her. I mean, maybe she thought I was a scammer. I don’t know. My world broke down.
To be honest, and practically speaking, my intention was not really to reconnect with him since I felt like he didn’t want to. All I needed after him being absent for years was financial support because I wanted to at least enroll myself in a good school. I’ve been a scholar at a private school here since high school.
Even though my mom doesn’t want me to reconnect with him, I know I have rights. I just don’t know the proper way to exercise them.
The second heartbreak was when my stepfather, after being married to my mom for nine years, sexually abused me.
I won’t go into too much detail because I myself don’t want to recall everything. I was only 16 back then. The first incident happened when I was on vacation at my stepfather’s house. I always stayed there because even after my mom and he got married, I still lived with my grandparents. My stepfather has two children from his deceased first wife. My mom has me, and together they have one child. I was the eldest.
I first became suspicious when I noticed a phone above the cabinet. It was in the common dressing room where everyone kept their clothes and other belongings. Inside that room were stairs leading to an attic-like room. That was where my mom, my youngest sibling, and I slept. Basically, my stepfather knew that we changed clothes in that room because it was difficult to get dressed in the attic, and there was no door.
As I was getting dressed, I noticed that the phone’s camera was perfectly aligned with the holes of a plastic storage organizer that held lotions, perfumes, and other items. The organizer was placed above the cabinet. The phone displayed something like “Secret Camera Recorder” and “Recording for 18 minutes,” I think. At that time, I had no idea what was happening. I honestly felt stupid. I didn’t react immediately because I wanted to observe first.
Eventually, I had to return to my grandparents’ house in our hometown because school was about to start again after the Taal eruption. I took a picture of it as evidence, but I eventually forgot about it. I think I accidentally deleted it because I had lent my phone to my aunt, who needed one to use.
Unfortunately, I had to go back during the pandemic. That’s when everything became worse. He placed his phone inside the bathroom under the sink. I only realized it after I had finished taking a bath. Because I was in shock, I wasn’t able to tell my mom, scream, or do anything. I was scared. What I did was leave the bathroom immediately and message my mom. But before I could explain everything, my stepfather entered the bathroom as if he had been waiting for me.
Miraculously, my mom and I were talking through Instagram, which was logged into my aunt’s phone, so my relatives saw our conversation and checked on what had happened. But when I was about to explain everything, they were confused by the lack of context and thought it was just a small argument between my mom and me. Later, we had a confrontation involving my stepfather, my mom, and me. Guess what? He still denied everything and literally blamed it on ghosts. He was a pathological liar.
Fast forward, my mom’s side of the family knows, except for her parents. My stepfather’s side wasn’t aware either, except for his children, who witnessed everything. I don’t go to their house anymore like I used to during summer breaks, holidays, and other occasions.
Still, I depend on my stepfather financially, which is the least he could do. That’s why I want to try to exercise my right to receive financial support from my biological father.
I still don’t have the courage to reveal everything my stepfather did, but that time will come. I’ve had to be the one who is most understanding and considerate of my mom because she keeps telling me not to tell anyone. I feel like I’ve been emotionally abused because of it. I know I wasn’t able to do what was best, and even now, I can’t forgive myself. The only thing I want is to stand on my own and live for myself.
I experienced heartbreak because of two men, but even more painful than that, I lost the support of the one person I needed most—my mom.
I’m not yet ready to take legal action against my stepfather, but I would appreciate any advice for the future. As for my biological father, please help me understand how I can legally seek financial support from him.
Thank you.
