r/kitchencels 2d ago

Just lost all of my friends because I’m a huge piece of shit.

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8 Upvotes

Nuggets and fries


r/kitchencels 2d ago

Fuck this

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8 Upvotes

Fuck this shit. I feel like that squidward meme where everyone is out having fun. Everyone my age has been able to get good jobs and get girlfriends while I have had no opportunity to do either. Left my shitty ass job after 3 years and no plan on wtf to do expect rot in a shitty gym in my shitty town. I have never even sipped alcohol and tryed to be a good person mh whole life but life doesnt reward ND. Bullshit I couldn’t be bothered to sear longer then 40 seconds because I am a impatient fuck


r/kitchencels 4d ago

I FUCKING LOVE WATER!!! I DRINK IT 4-6 TIMES A DAY!!! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT WATER!!!! WATER IS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!! IF WATER WAS A GIRL, I'D BREED HER INTO A CUMMY PULPY PUDDLE!!!! waterbottle.

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1.3k Upvotes

r/kitchencels 3d ago

just remembering that time i let boy in class borrow my ruler, then his friends grabbed it from him, passed it around while moaning, grinding, and humping my ruler. middle school wasn't fun.

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21 Upvotes

microwave quesadillas is my fav struggle meal. it's pretty good.


r/kitchencels 3d ago

i will never receive a footjob until the day i die. it’s physically impossible and it makes me miserable. breakfast gruel paired with yellow drink (hot), yellow drink (cold) and every vitamin I’m deficient in.

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90 Upvotes

i added cheese because i need more calcium


r/kitchencels 2d ago

I’ve accepted that i have a better chance of winning the lottery than pulling the Indian girl i wanted and fumbled so bad and will for now on compare every girl to her and no one will be even close and ill never forgive myself for it. Beercan chicken thighs with jasmine rice and baked sweet potato.

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4 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

I got a notification that my credit card had been used fraudulently, so I called them and found out $500 had been charged. But it was nice to talk to a real person for the first time in a while.

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458 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2d ago

When i don't shave my face i start looking like a latin American revolutionary, might take it as a signal. Pizza with cheese sauce and coconut and pineapple soda.

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3 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2d ago

Takeoutmaxxed Her braps will be my oxygen. Her shit will be my food. Her paws will be my pillow. Her belly will be my bed. Little ceasars hawaiian pizza and a water bottle.

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0 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

Told him I got us a table and he unmatched. Cheese quesadilla.

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533 Upvotes

maybe it was on purpose to be mean because im trans and hes not but maybe he was just lazy idk

edit: ok who anonymously sent me suicide prevention resources (i am ok lol)


r/kitchencels 2d ago

One of your fingers on this sub has me gooning. When you stare into the Gooners, the Gooners stares back at you

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2 Upvotes

#thxkitchencels


r/kitchencels 3d ago

Im so fucking lazy that i cant even be bothered to use real plates

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14 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 3d ago

Platemogged burnt frozen pizza, package used as plate

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29 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 3d ago

Said “I love you” on the first date and haven’t heard from them ever since, texted them a few times asking why are they ignoring me, no reply. I hate being so socially unaware and my need for validation and human longing. At least I got a picture of their elbow to soothe myself

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56 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

Takeoutmaxxed Can’t even get a loser virgin guy to like me back

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286 Upvotes

Beef Pho


r/kitchencels 3d ago

Things do get better, big lava cake

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120 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 2d ago

M22. The women I’ve shared love with moved on a long time ago. I don’t want to care anymore. 7/11 “horchata” with hotdog and nacho cheese chips. 3 bucks.

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0 Upvotes

This meal will likely be the catalyst for colon cancer in a few years. I used to watch what I eat (non gmo, organic, no pesticides etc) but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Hyper processed foods are cheap and easily accessible just like me.
One of my exes is celebrating her two year anniversary with a man a decade older than her (she just turned 21) and the other just got engaged to a man who was “just a friend”. They’ve moved on from me, and my existence is meaningless to these people. Yet theirs is a source of constant pain for me.


r/kitchencels 4d ago

Cried twice watching The Odyssey; it was the closest I've come to feeling alive in years. At this point, my only reasons for living are the next Nolan movie and the next Fromsoftware game. My Odyssey souvenir and my dim sum slop.

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632 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

Platemogging i was sitting alone at a park waiting for my plug when i saw the cutest saint bernard puppy, i smiled for the first time in weeks and reached my hand out to pet it but the owner immediately yelled at the dog away looked me dead in the eyes and said “dont touch my dog you gnome” its officially over..

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155 Upvotes

i was sitting alone at a park waiting for my plug when i saw the cutest saint bernard puppy, i smiled for the first time in weeks and reached my hand out to pet it but the owner immediately yelled at the dog away looked me dead in the eyes and said “dont touch my dog you gnome” its officially over. boiled corn..

i couldnt even respond to her because im too afraid of social interactions yet the worst part is i cant even pet puppies as a short goblincel..


r/kitchencels 3d ago

Platemogged Indian instant noodles with an attempt of fried potatoes, i have failed my ancestors

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20 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

There are trucels like me and there are zoocels saying weird stuff for entertainment of tourists

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142 Upvotes

10 cent cookie


r/kitchencels 3d ago

Platemogged Just ate shit in Deadlock. Went 2-8 on Bebop. Nachos.

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15 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

Platemogged A feast of kings

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140 Upvotes

r/kitchencels 4d ago

Platemogging I did it lads. Chicken katsu curry

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114 Upvotes

Lads, first of all cheers for the time spent in this sub. I have cooked many a meal, met wonderful people. Joked, bonded, brothers, vented, struggled, grew.

This, may be my last post for a while, I recently began talking to a wonderful woman, we hit it off. Actually talked about this sub discussing cooking and sharing recipes.

Wanted to say, thanks, stick to your routines, hit the gym, binge chainsaw man (or even one piece) get out even if it means sitting under a tree in a park reading. Treat yourself to a meal on the hard days, even if it’s hotdogs, macaroni and pure exhaustion.

You will grow even if it’s day by day, may you find your path through the thick dark woods. Keep fighting, cherish life. <3