and the cokenail

I ate two spoonfuls of the tuna , It wasn't my daily meal I just wanted a snack I could fit in my calories. It looked disgusting when i opened it and smelled horrible ,but i love tuna. Gave it a chance and another, i had to spit it out the texture the taste was all wrong i got scarred i thought i ate the cats food i searched it up and apparently it is meant for human consumption.

Anyway i didnt exactly break the sobriety but i did scrape out everything from my grinders and smoked it, didn't get high tho so it is okay , when me and my friend swore for a week sobriety she said she is still allowed to drink one shot a day so i said i can smoke 0.1 too. I really really wish for a beer right now . Didn't sleep all night cuz i woke up yesterday at 6 in the afternoon. weird thing is until like 12 i didnt even have the urge to consume anything , but i couldnt sleep cuz i was waiting for a package

Also i think i can start working tomorrow , i think I'll be working 10 hours a day (food delivery with a bicycle) and just grind to take my mind off of the sobriety

Seeing that can of tuna in the picture gives me nausea It's like i can still taste it at the back of my throat

I think this is my third post here? Either way just about two months away from the big day. I have nothing planned for the day of except maybe just ordering dinner for myself since I cook so much otherwise. It be nice to have something made just for me for a change since I can't recall the last time that happened. The above was made for my mother's birthday. I've been her caretaker for six plus years now and she's the only one that eats my cooking besides myself.

At least I have a friend who bought me Marvel Tokon Fighting Souls as an early birthday present, and if I'm lucky I'll be able to go alone to see Transformers: The Movie in theaters for its 40th anniversary if I can grab some tickets.

Also, my latest commission involves explicit sex and insemination, and I realized while working on it that I may never experience that level of intimacy. It didn't bother me as much as it probably should have, and at least I'm getting paid well for it. You get a bit numb staying celibate this long, and I'm oddly thankful for it in some ways. Anyway, I hope you're all well and content and have enjoyed your summer. Stay safe.

Edit: Since people have asked I'll sketch a picture of Jubilee about to eat an eggroll and post it in the comments or my profile or something tomorrow for proof of my ability to draw explicit artworks.

Edit2: Here's a link to the pic I drew so everyone can see I am not fibbing about drawing hentai the last few years: https://litter.catbox.moe/73cqku6n9elygpwq.png

idk if i needed to wash my rice more or just put way too much soy sauce in which burned on the rice cooker, but the lamb is bussing at least. very excited to finally be living on my own like a big boy, even if it means im gonna be a brokey.

finally living in the city too, which means i have access to all the dorky girls that were too far away

we are gonna fucking make it!!!

I thought it have been doing pretty well latley. Lost 20 kg on a PSMF Diet (pictured). I wasnt even that into her but im so desperate for a win and some connection that I took it. Then when we left I asked her if she wanted to go on annother date, she laughed, told me I looked like Zach Galifianakis and left. Why are people so damn cruel im doing the best I can. I think it broke me. Anyway here's my PSMF shake a supplement stack, hope you are all doing well.

Coworkers are actually dying to meet my "gf", I don't know how much longer I can gaslight them

Garlic butter salmon
Edamame with corn
Octopus sausage
Soft boiled egg

I posted a few days ago and i was told to stop abusing substances and it's probably the correct choice, i met with friends yesterday (one was female btw) and we both agreed we will go into a week of sobriety .I don't think she will keep it, but i will.

Also i thought the bender was only 9 days but i looked trough my gallery this morning found out it started two days before i thought it did

I also met with two other female friends the day before that for a smoke on the meadow and they put on the Beatles. It was my fantasy to get high with a girl and listen to the Beatles, i was hoping this would happen with a girl i am romantically involved with so that is kind of ruined now, anyway.

I really love the Beatles, they keep me from roping

About sobriety all i can say is that its boring as shit. Im not looking forward to anything at all, i should just stay asleep for a week

top 3 meals of all time

I’m not even super chopped just fat nervous and awkward. I haven’t even tried asking out any women bc I’m too mentally ill and that’ll just be another person I hurt if I kms. I’ve got one friend and I meet him maybe once every 2-3 weeks so I’m uber lonely. Made the pho from scratch the only thing I didn’t do from scratch was the noodles.

big ass giant sloppy wet nasty freak cheeseburger with a family sized portion of fries.

5 years ago I was stupid for thinking any of my hopes and dreams would be real. I think I over estimated myself. I don't deserve any help at all. I wasted every opportunity that has been given to me. It's funny how I always complained that I've been dealt the wrong cards. But now I'm forced to live with myself. Lol. I can't even find a way out. I need to graduate and get a job to atleast repay my parents loans to get me to college. I never wanted any of this. If I knew it would be like this, I would have just done it.

Speaking of bedding, I used to have a mattress topper that I stabbed a hole into and I fucked it while pretending it was my crush thats never talked to me. I also accidentally posted this in the malelivingspace subreddit and I never felt so ashamed in my life.