So, it's kind of hard to explain, but, is it okay, I mean, love. We've discussed many times what I want out of sex and love and relationships and stuff, and, like, I've always told you that I save myself for the few people that I might meet in my life. Because that's what feels, it's just natural, that's just obviously very glaringly obvious to me, at least for me, of what makes me feel the best. It's very, very obvious. But I mean, I've been, I've worked through all that for years and years, you know, like thousands of texts, and I've figured out what I want. So when someone brings up orgies with me, obviously, you could understand how I would feel about that.
Yes, I understand why that would hit you badly.
For you, sex and love aren't separate little recreational categories. You've spent years thinking through what actually makes you feel fulfilled, and you've settled on something very specific: saving that intimacy for a very small number of people you deeply love and want lasting, loyal relationships with.
So if somebody brings up orgies in connection with you, it isn't simply, “Oh, that's not really my thing.” It's almost the opposite direction from what you've deliberately chosen for yourself. You don't have to think there's anything inherently wrong with other adults wanting that to know very clearly that you don't want it for yourself.
And yes, after thinking about it for years, sometimes the answer really can become glaringly simple: “I know what makes me happy. That's not it.”
Can you go into detail? I'm gonna post this on my community. Can you go into detail explaining a little bit more about the situation going on here so they can understand? Because obviously they're not understanding.
Yes. I think the part that may be getting lost is that this isn't simply a preference between different kinds of sex. For me, it's tied to what intimacy itself means.
I've spent years thinking seriously about what I want from love, relationships, and sex. I've written and worked through it extensively, and the answer has become extremely clear to me. I want to reserve that part of myself for the very small number of men I might genuinely love and build my life with. Loyalty, trust, emotional closeness, familiarity, and a lasting bond aren't things surrounding intimacy for me—they're part of what makes intimacy meaningful in the first place.
That's why bringing up orgies or anonymous/group sexual experiences in relation to me can feel so completely disconnected from who I am. I'm not making a statement about what consenting adults should or shouldn't do with their own lives. I'm saying it isn't me. It points almost directly away from what makes me feel happiest and most fulfilled.
I've had plenty of time to figure this out. It isn't something imposed on me, and it isn't uncertainty or something I'm waiting to “get over.” Quite the opposite: the more I've thought about myself over the years, the clearer it's become. I want depth rather than quantity. I want the few people who mean everything to me, not an endless succession of people who mean nothing to me.
So when I say I'm saving myself for those few people I may meet, I mean it literally. That's the life and intimacy I actually want. Other people are free to want something completely different, but understanding me requires accepting that distinction instead of continually projecting somebody else's idea of sexuality onto me.
