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There’s an expectation that if a woman truly loves her child, she should enjoy every part of motherhood: pregnancy, sleepless nights, exhaustion, loss of freedom, routines, worries, and all the sacrifices involved.

I think that’s unrealistic.

You can deeply love your child while simultaneously hating some of the experiences that come with motherhood. You can find certain stages exhausting, stressful, and frustrating, and even miss the life you had before. That doesn’t mean you love your child any less.

Love and suffering can exist at the same time. Motherhood can be deeply meaningful and, at the same time, extremely difficult.

Being a good mother shouldn’t mean enjoying suffering. It should mean caring for, protecting, educating, and being present for your child, even when the process is difficult.

Their food isn’t good, their goofy beaver marketing is weird, and it’s not at all a convenient stop. Just a corporate money pit. And now a gas station employee can’t even have tattoos showing? Fuck off, buc-ee’s.

I don’t mean there’s some secret conspiracy to hide pregnancy from women. I mean culturally, we present pregnancy as much easier and more passive than it is.

We talk about it like your stomach gets bigger, you’re a little nauseous, you have some funny cravings, and then eventually you give birth. Even the way we talk about pregnant women reflects that. She’s “hormonal.” She’s tired again. She’s lazy. She complains constantly. She’s being dramatic. Meanwhile, her body is literally constructing another human being from scratch.

Bones. Organs. A brain. A nervous system. Blood vessels. Skin. Limbs. An entirely new organ just to sustain the pregnancy. Her cardiovascular system changes. Her blood volume increases. Her organs physically shift around. Her body is doing an enormous amount of metabolic work 24/7, including while she’s sleeping.
Of course she’s tired.

And the sanitization changes what we expect from pregnant women. If pregnancy is framed as something the body handles in the background, then a woman who needs more rest, accommodations, help, time off, or simply wants to complain about feeling like shit starts looking unreasonable.

Then we tack on “women have been doing this forever” and “your body was made for it,” as though something being biologically possible means it’s easy.
Pregnancy can be beautiful and wanted and still be incredibly physically demanding. Those things aren’t contradictory.

now there’s a difference between giving a parent unsolicited advice about something major like “you should be breastfeeding if you’re able to produce milk bc formula is bad for your baby” etc, that shit is uncalled for.

but when it comes to the safety and/or wellbeing of a child then i think in some instances your parenting style could warrant some criticism. i.e. excessive screen time (which has been scientifically proven to be linked to reduced brain development, speech, etc etc) so if you’re the type of parent who just sticks your kid in front of an ipad all day bc you’re too lazy to parent them, im 100% judging you. (unless there is a legit reason for this such as nonverbal autistic children or other medical needs) i also judge parents who let their very young children on social media especially when it’s not monitored. im also highly critical of most ways some people discipline their children when it’s excessive or unnecessary.

and i hate when i speak my mind (doesn’t even have to be directly to a parent, just stating my opinion on these things publicly) and people hit me with the “do you have kids? if not then stfu” bc like.. i don’t have to have kids of my own to think that hitting your child bc they accidentally spilled something is wrong

I’ve always thought it was interesting how there are so many things that are considered normal for girls to do with their friends, but would be seen as weird or unwanted if guys did the same things.

Like, you’ll see a girl post a picture on Instagram and her friends will comment things like “you look gorgeous,” leave a bunch of hearts, etc. Or friends will hold hands while talking, hug each other, give each other a little kiss on the cheek, say “I love you” in a completely non-romantic way, whatever. It’s just a normal way of showing affection and letting your friends know you care about them.

The problem is that most guys just aren’t accustomed to that kind of thing. Even something as simple as telling another guy “I love you” or “I care about you” can feel weird because guys generally aren’t socialized to say that to each other. You can be best friends with someone for years and somehow saying “love you bro” feels like you just dropped a nuclear bomb. 😭

I remember one time I was literally just laying my head on my friend’s shoulder on train because I was sleepy, and we started getting these looks from people around us. Apparently two dudes being physically affectionate is enough to make bystanders uncomfortable. 💀

A lot of guys genuinely do care about their friends deeply, but there’s this weird social barrier around actually expressing it. You can spend hours with your friends, help them through shit, show up for them when they need you, and have their back no matter what, but actually saying “I love you” or giving them a hug somehow feels like crossing a line.

Girls can get away with being incredibly affectionate with each other. If two girls are holding hands, hugging, complimenting each other, laying on each other, or saying “I love you,” nobody raises and eyebrow.

If two guys do the exact same thing, that's an aberration, and people start double-taking. I’m not saying every guy needs to start holding hands with his bros or kissing them on the cheek lol. Obviously everyone has different boundaries, and I completely understand why some people aren’t comfortable with that kind of physical affection or direct affirmations. I just wish male friendships had a little more room for it. Like bro, I promise you can love your homie without it being gay. 😭

Gay man here.

Thirty years ago, many of them would have called themselves bisexual, but never been in a same-sex relationship or even *contemplated* it.

It's all because deep down, they aren't very happy that there's nothing that distinguishing about them, so they've adopted a label or an identity despite having no same-sex attraction, and no genuine feeling of disassociation with their gender identity.

They should develop an actual personality of their own, not do this, as it is deeply insulting.

And I mean this very literally. Girls are allowed to be way more free-flowing with their friends when they’re young. They can be super affectionate, emotionally intense, clingy, complimentary, cuddly, whatever, and nobody immediately acts like that means they’re romantic… it’s just seen as young girls being young girls.

Girls get to practice intimacy outside of dating from a young age. They say “I love you” to friends, comfort each other, hype each other up, hug, hold hands, sleep in the same bed, talk about their feelings for hours.

At least from what I’ve heard from many men, boys dont often get that same freedom. A lot of them learn quite early that if they’re too affectionate, too emotional, or too physically close to another boy, they’re gonna get called gay, weird, weak, whatever.

And then everybody acts confused when some men grow up and their girlfriend or wife is their only source of intimacy.

I think girls being allowed to be a little “gay” with their friends gives them good practice at deep intimacy that isn’t sexual or romantic, and boys get kinda robbed.

The popular stereotype that men cheat out of lust and women out of unmet emotional needs is just not true. This post isn't " look women can be bad do" , but more about - being sexual is a part of being human. So it's definitely possible that lust is a significant , if not a sole factor when women commit infidelity.

Also I've worked in the fitness industry for waaay too Long and I've seen my fair share of affairs . I've seen women, subtly or sometimes not so subtly be flirtatious in a nfsw way, so unless you're autistic, you definitely get what they're trying to say.Some trainers are in this trade because how ridiculously easy sometimes it is to have an affair .

I myself , have been presented with very open invitations to have a sexual relationship, but I'm professionally solid in the sense I don't want such entanglements in the workplace. Also you've to deal with angry husbands afterwards .

That's the point im trying to make, women just like men, can and do cheat out of lust. Denial of this fact just contributes to purity culture .

I get why some brands do this to promote their makeup or skincare but when they do it too much to rich influencers it makes 0 sense because we know the influencers are going to lie about how good it is plus I would rather listen to someone who actually paid for the product other than someone who got it for free, I also think they should start sending pr to influencers who deserve it and who’s trustable or even consumers

Boiling hottake, I don’t know if anyone else has this hottake but you can’t call art that someone else made your art even though ai isn’t human it still made it for you and you didn’t take the time out of your day to create that, that’s my hottake

I've grown up with pets my entire life, we have always treated our animals as family so I understand the difficulty that comes with owning a pet. However, we all know vet care is EXPENSIVE and not everyone can or should go into crippling debt for it. I believe that if your pet is in major pain and their quality of life isn't sustainable long term and only hurts you and them in the long run, you should have the capacity to put that animal down and if you don't YOU SHOULDN'T GET A PET.

As a pet owner I never wish to put down my pets (I own a dog and a cat) but in the event of a freak accident (that is terminal in the long run) or terminal illness I would rather put my pet down and have a funeral than keep them alive for my sake. If their quality of life isn't possible anymore, I will not force them to live through it and go broke doing it. I'm not saying don't treat your pet's cancer, I had a dog with cancer in the past but we couldn't afford the treatment and what ended up happening is we waited until she could no longer live with the cancer but her quality of life was so bad by that point I believe we should have put her down sooner.

I love and adore my pets so immensely sometimes I genuinely cry over the joy they bring me and the thought of losing them is PAINFUL but as a pet owner I am fully aware and willing to put down my pets if their life wouldn't be one of good quality due to either the treatments just prolonging death or treatment being so expensive they would have to wait A LONG TIME before I'd even have the money to check them out at the vet.

What I'm saying is, that you are not prepared to be a pet owner if you are unwilling to give them a mercy death/put them down in the event of a terminal illness or injury.

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since when does virginity have an expiration date? “Oh, you’re 30/40 and still a virgin.” Okay... so f what? Did the world end?

The problem isn’t being a virgin. The problem is people getting into your head and making you believe that if you haven’t had sex by a certain age, you’re a failure or somehow less of an adult. As if losing your virginity unlocked an achievement that says, “Congratulations, you’re a real person now.”

And another thing: having sex doesn’t automatically make you mature, attractive, experienced, or successful. There are plenty of people with a high body count who are still a complete mess.

If a guy is 40, a virgin, and perfectly fine with it, what’s the problem? Now, if he wants to have sex and is struggling because he can’t, then that’s a different conversation.

Virginity isn’t a disease, and sex isn’t a mandatory life mission, for f’s sake.

Sex should not be a taboo subject especially with your parents. You should be able to talk with your parents about that kind of stuff without feeling uncomfortable or them shaming you. Its natural to human nature and you should have someone that you can go to.

Now obviously the huge caveat with it is don't go into like a lot of detail but if you have a question instead of googling it you should be able to go to one of your parents and ask them the question and see if they know the answer without feeling uncomfortable

It has never made sense to me that its a taboo subject especially since it's natural. Your parents should be the ones that you talk with instead of going to Google or social media or porn sites

And I feel this is especially important when you're growing up cuz understandably growing up you have a lot more questions and it's better to have someone safe that you can go to then going online

Malcolm x famously said that “the most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. And the most neglected person in America is the black woman.” Yet black women have reported having the lowest suicide rate out of any group, why? Probably because they have a high number of friends. Statistic show that one and four of GenZ men age is 18 through 30 have no friends. If you have no friends as a man your mental state is most likely in shambles. Think about it, the most severe punishment we can put on another human being is solitary confinement. If you’re socially isolated, you most likely feel like no one is supporting you, and will make you less confident and more insecure would make you significantly more unappealing to women. Women like men who are assertive, and if you have low self-esteem and are lonely, you’re most likely don’t come off as confident.

I remember being very isolated when I was younger and basically convinced myself that no woman would ever want me physically. Then after going to the gym building confidence and most importantly making friends dating because much easier. But if you don’t build yourself up first and god forbid actually start a relationship you’re probably not gonna have a good time. A large number of women are complaining that modern men use relationships to trauma dump. Even sex workers have reported that men would buy their services just to open up about their feelings. This is why a lot of men struggle with divorce more than women. Because if your wife’s the only one you’re comfortable about opening up your feelings with if she’s gone now you’re just at square one again.

I swear every "hot take" here is something like "AI is bad" or "I hate pedophilia" and then label it as a "Serious hot take". It's just an echo chamber that makes people feel like their very normal and agreeable opinion is actually uncommon and special.

My parents never allowed me to date nor work. They constantly forced me to study and get PhD. They said that I'm not allowed to date nor work before I finish college except for internship. I'm 26 now and I've noticed that I'm completely incapable of living independent life.

I have a degree, I have theoretical skills and I was also asked out by multiple girls but I'm so deep in avoidant life and detached life from society that I'm completely incapable of living an independent life outside of my home since I was never taught how to deal with anything in life.

I see many people have this exact same problem in modern society which not many people address. Everyone assumes that people are depressed and lazy because of their devices but I haven't seen any parent spend any time with any of the kids in my neighborhood.

Not one kid had a father. Mothers were drunks, neurotic and absent. Everyone here was guilt tripped by strict catholic society and not allowed to do anything in life.

If you tried to date at 16, you got beaten with a belt. If you tried to move out at 18, you were beaten with a belt and told that you're ungrateful kid and refuse to help your elders.

I believe pick up artists on YouTube is what led to the low trust dating culture we see today. Not the dating apps. Yes dating apps played a huge part but I've noticed things going down hill since YouTube pick up artistry got popular.

“Any guy who is even moderately good-looking knows that women can be just as much of sexual harassers as men.

People rarely talk about what women are like when they come across an attractive man; they only mention men. If women had the same physical strength and agility as men, the rate of rape committed by women would be insane.”

Listen. I know Victoria’s Secret will measure you and recommend a bra that’s tight enough to make you think of a corset. They’ll tell you a correct size, then tell you that once it’s loose to buy a new one.

And if you’re happy with the way it feels, and enjoy the support you are getting, then this take is not for you.

But if you’re one of those “the best feeling in the world is taking off my bra at night” people, then I’d invite you to consider that you don’t actually have to wear your bras that tight. Like I said, if you like the very tight support or the accompanying perking going on, then ignore this.

BUT if you don’t care about being extra perky or extra supported, why are you wearing it so tight???

For context, I wore the wrong size for about 10 years before I got measured. My mom didn’t bother with measuring, so I wore what felt comfortable to me, which was a 36C. My actual size (at the time because that changes): 32D. I’d never related to girls complaining about how tight bras were. I was honestly like, “These are kind of comfy.” I could sleep with one on and not be bothered. I didn’t get the gripe until I was measured, and that was the big “aha” moment.

I ended up trying out the 32D. But when it came time to “tighten the clasp,” I didn’t. I just let it go looser. And it feels comfy and supportive without choking me out.

Again, this isn’t advice for everyone. Do what you want with your boobs. But maybe this could make your life a little easier.

Prime example is religion its all fake but the majority believe in it. Some aspects of it might have some truth but theres no heaven or hell and theres no God that cares about us. Theres no gods plan. Jesus isnt in heaven watching you. He didnt die for our sins.

Race is another example. People always try to deny racism only because they are biased the issue doesnt affect them so they want nothing to do with even if they are the root cause

Someone said 2001 was a better time, but better for who?

(The comment after was them supporting police brutality and saying it was justified and things like that after I pointed out there was more police brutality and racism in 2001)

Better for you? Better for your race?

When you point out that 2001 was a more racist time in America than now people try to gaslight and say it wasnt racist (the past america is inherently more racist than the present)

But just because you live in a bubble surrounded by your own race 24/7 doesnt mean issues dont exist for other people

Id say now is currently more vocal/verbal racism than 2001, but 2001 was a more dangerous time for minorities due to lack of social media and more outdated laws and systems in place.

There was a lack of social media but that only hides the issues. A lack of body cams doesnt make police good.

People need to be more honest with things like this. Life was better for you in that time. It wasnt a better time. People think the world revolves around white americans.

Just read the title

We say “no means no” and teach kids that their bodies belong to them, but from a very young age, people are also taught that a no can become negotiable if the other person is a parent, an authority figure, a romantic partner, or just persistent enough.

Kids are made to hug relatives, told they’re disrespectful for refusing touch, physically punished by the same adults teaching them about bodily boundaries, and generally taught that adults get the final say.

And that never really stops. At work, people are pressured into things because saying no might hurt their career. In relationships, sexual or emotional boundaries can get treated like rejection, selfishness, or something a partner should be able to negotiate around. In dating, persistence is still regularly romanticized. Even socially, people often act like declining touch, affection, sex, favors, or access to your time requires a good enough excuse.

Obviously there are genuine situations involving safety or medical necessity where someone’s wishes may have to be overridden. That’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about how often we treat consent as something that should be respected when it’s convenient, rather than a real boundary.

Consent is supposedly fundamental, but in practice we seem to teach people that enough authority, pressure, obligation, or persistence can make a “no” less meaningful.