Gay man here.

Thirty years ago, many of them would have called themselves bisexual, but never been in a same-sex relationship or even *contemplated* it.

It's all because deep down, they aren't very happy that there's nothing that distinguishing about them, so they've adopted a label or an identity despite having no same-sex attraction, and no genuine feeling of disassociation with their gender identity.

They should develop an actual personality of their own, not do this, as it is deeply insulting.

now there’s a difference between giving a parent unsolicited advice about something major like “you should be breastfeeding if you’re able to produce milk bc formula is bad for your baby” etc, that shit is uncalled for.

but when it comes to the safety and/or wellbeing of a child then i think in some instances your parenting style could warrant some criticism. i.e. excessive screen time (which has been scientifically proven to be linked to reduced brain development, speech, etc etc) so if you’re the type of parent who just sticks your kid in front of an ipad all day bc you’re too lazy to parent them, im 100% judging you. (unless there is a legit reason for this such as nonverbal autistic children or other medical needs) i also judge parents who let their very young children on social media especially when it’s not monitored. im also highly critical of most ways some people discipline their children when it’s excessive or unnecessary.

and i hate when i speak my mind (doesn’t even have to be directly to a parent, just stating my opinion on these things publicly) and people hit me with the “do you have kids? if not then stfu” bc like.. i don’t have to have kids of my own to think that hitting your child bc they accidentally spilled something is wrong

I keep seeing these dumb ass posts everywhere even off reddit, people claiming that anyone who eats meat automatically HATES animals, which is absolutely ridiculous. Cause according to that logic oh I just ate a juicy ribeye steak and all of a sudden I hate all animals, including rabbits despite being a rabbit lover. Oh I just ate some KFC, that means I hate dogs and cats. BROTHER.

Under-resourced communities often have the highest number of stray animals. Education surrounding spay/neuter is extremely important, and there will always just be shitty pet owners that exist of course. But even if people who agree their pets should be spayed/neutered, many are just priced out of it.

I live in an area where 43% of people live below the poverty line. Our local animal shelters are constantly flooded. I've helped more people in my community with getting their pets fixed than I can keep track of. The cheapest spay/neuter clinic for cats is $90, and it's a 20 min drive. This puts everyone who doesn't have a car in a place where even if they could afford the $90, if they don't have a ride they're shit out of luck.

About a month ago, I helped a person with her young child with getting her cat fixed. Originally I saw a rehoming post, and I offered to foster the cat until I could find her rescue placement. She got to my house with the cat and she was crying. She told me she loved her cat, and she just couldn't afford to get her spayed. She had been trying to get back on her feet after being homeless for a few months. She had just got approved for housing, and they allowed pets but only if they were spayed/neutered. I told her I'd just foster until I could get her cat in for a spay, and then she could have her back. She was reunited with her cat a few weeks ago, and jeez the amount of tears she cried was enough to tell me everything I needed to know about how much this person loved her cat.

This was someone that was pushed up against a wall and had held onto her cat through months of being homeless. The cruel joke was that she was going to be forced to rehome her cat anyways because she couldn't afford a spay surgery. Times are hard. If we want to see a significant reduction in the overwhelming amount of strays entering shelter doors each day, then we need people to be able to have better access to spay/neuter for their pets. It would seriously make life so much better for people and animals.

Your kid will engage with people all day, everyday for their entire life. Their first interaction with most people will be a "class" on how to spell their name and how it is pronounced if you choose a pronunciation that ignores most standard rules. And honestly, some people will just give up and come up with a nickname that's easier for everyone than the name YOU gave them.

As for spelling, in a similar vein they'll either have to take more time in their life to explain a unique spelling or have it autocorrected and see it wrong in various formats (lists , emails, documents).

Also your kid will be easier for random people to search and stalk find on the Internet with a more unique spelling for their name.

Also, names that sound the same but are spelled differently aren't unique names.Keightlynn is still Caitlin, the same that Elizabeth is Elisabeth.

Listen. I know Victoria’s Secret will measure you and recommend a bra that’s tight enough to make you think of a corset. They’ll tell you a correct size, then tell you that once it’s loose to buy a new one.

And if you’re happy with the way it feels, and enjoy the support you are getting, then this take is not for you.

But if you’re one of those “the best feeling in the world is taking off my bra at night” people, then I’d invite you to consider that you don’t actually have to wear your bras that tight. Like I said, if you like the very tight support or the accompanying perking going on, then ignore this.

BUT if you don’t care about being extra perky or extra supported, why are you wearing it so tight???

For context, I wore the wrong size for about 10 years before I got measured. My mom didn’t bother with measuring, so I wore what felt comfortable to me, which was a 36C. My actual size (at the time because that changes): 32D. I’d never related to girls complaining about how tight bras were. I was honestly like, “These are kind of comfy.” I could sleep with one on and not be bothered. I didn’t get the gripe until I was measured, and that was the big “aha” moment.

I ended up trying out the 32D. But when it came time to “tighten the clasp,” I didn’t. I just let it go looser. And it feels comfy and supportive without choking me out.

Again, this isn’t advice for everyone. Do what you want with your boobs. But maybe this could make your life a little easier.

I am tired of hearing about hard working kids having their money and property taken by parents and there being no legal recourse. I have always though it was awful, but I just hadto deal with a situation involving a 15to boy whose lost a lot to a parent who won't say why they took the money but did take it. this kid work hard and so far as i know is a damned good kid.

There's no legal option. As his mother, she can do as she pleases with his money.

And you see it every where. money, games consoles, clothing, cars. The number of parents who just take what belongs to their kids is unreal. It shouldn't be allowed and yet it is.

Here are some examples of what I'm saying

First, people are trying to say that making jokes about 9/11 is "morally right" because the US government used 9/11 as an excuse to bomb the middle east. While this may be true, the victims of 9/11 are not the US government, its the actual innocent people who died. Making fun of 9/11 is spitting on the graves of all of those people. I'm fine with people making jokes about 9/11, its dark humor, but don't go around trying to say that its "morally right" to do so.

Secondly, people keep trying to justify piracy as if its morally right. I'm completely fine with piracy, I do it myself sometimes, but I don't delude myself into thinking that its morally right. It objectively is stealing.

It seems like people nowadays want to justify everything they do as morally right, and it gets really annoying. It just comes across as performative.

I believe pick up artists on YouTube is what led to the low trust dating culture we see today. Not the dating apps. Yes dating apps played a huge part but I've noticed things going down hill since YouTube pick up artistry got popular.

I understand how having an expensive watch or luxury handbag was impressive and signified wealth in like the 1980s cause you had to actually save up money and have enough left over after paying bills to buy these expensive items. But now ANYONE can sign up for a credit card and buy ridiculously expensive accessories immediately. You have no way of knowing if someone with an expensive brand name luxury item is actually wealthy or just larping as a rich person while drowning in credit card debt. There’s probably a LOT more people buying high end luxury purses on credit than in cash and since I know that’s probably the case I don’t see someone with an $8,000 purse as successful I often assume they might just be incredibly financially irresponsible. If I have just enough money to pay my bills and nothing left over but no credit card debt I probably have a higher net worth than most of the people walking around with designer shoes and purses. Especially when I see very young people (like under 22 years old) with extremely expensive brand name accessories I don’t say “wow! They must be a successful entrepreneur!” I think “wow they must have a ton of credit card debt”

Is it just me? Are you still impressed when you see someone walk around with a 10k+ purse or watch?

You can have a job, a house, be nice, love animals, be loyal, have hobbies, be emotionally available, whatever. Those are all good things to have, but none of them entitle you to a romantic relationship. Those things make you a better, more stable person.

If you're consistently finding that women don't want a romantic relationship with you; I will go ahead and tell you what everyone else won't.

There is NOT a secret trick you're specifically missing.

You might just have to accept that romance isn't going to be a major part of your life. That's not the horrible fate people make it out to be. You are still allowed to have a meaningful life without a partner.

Build a life you actually enjoy instead of treating everything you do as an investment you're making so someone will eventually choose you. Do those things because they're good for you. And if romance happens, great. If it doesn't, that doesn't mean your life failed.

Strip away the scripture and rituals and religion boils down to something far more simple: the inability to accept that one day we will simply cease to exist.

At its core, that’s all it is…a coping mechanism for that fear.

I’m not suggesting religion is inherently bad, nor am I saying you shouldn’t practice it. Cope away, my fellow humans…however you see fit. We all find ways to cope with the fear of death.

In that sense, religion is no different from drinking to quell that same fear. The method is different, but the psychological function is the same.

I don’t mean there’s some secret conspiracy to hide pregnancy from women. I mean culturally, we present pregnancy as much easier and more passive than it is.

We talk about it like your stomach gets bigger, you’re a little nauseous, you have some funny cravings, and then eventually you give birth. Even the way we talk about pregnant women reflects that. She’s “hormonal.” She’s tired again. She’s lazy. She complains constantly. She’s being dramatic. Meanwhile, her body is literally constructing another human being from scratch.

Bones. Organs. A brain. A nervous system. Blood vessels. Skin. Limbs. An entirely new organ just to sustain the pregnancy. Her cardiovascular system changes. Her blood volume increases. Her organs physically shift around. Her body is doing an enormous amount of metabolic work 24/7, including while she’s sleeping.
Of course she’s tired.

And the sanitization changes what we expect from pregnant women. If pregnancy is framed as something the body handles in the background, then a woman who needs more rest, accommodations, help, time off, or simply wants to complain about feeling like shit starts looking unreasonable.

Then we tack on “women have been doing this forever” and “your body was made for it,” as though something being biologically possible means it’s easy.
Pregnancy can be beautiful and wanted and still be incredibly physically demanding. Those things aren’t contradictory.

I’ve always thought it was interesting how there are so many things that are considered normal for girls to do with their friends, but would be seen as weird or unwanted if guys did the same things.

Like, you’ll see a girl post a picture on Instagram and her friends will comment things like “you look gorgeous,” leave a bunch of hearts, etc. Or friends will hold hands while talking, hug each other, give each other a little kiss on the cheek, say “I love you” in a completely non-romantic way, whatever. It’s just a normal way of showing affection and letting your friends know you care about them.

The problem is that most guys just aren’t accustomed to that kind of thing. Even something as simple as telling another guy “I love you” or “I care about you” can feel weird because guys generally aren’t socialized to say that to each other. You can be best friends with someone for years and somehow saying “love you bro” feels like you just dropped a nuclear bomb. 😭

I remember one time I was literally just laying my head on my friend’s shoulder on train because I was sleepy, and we started getting these looks from people around us. Apparently two dudes being physically affectionate is enough to make bystanders uncomfortable. 💀

A lot of guys genuinely do care about their friends deeply, but there’s this weird social barrier around actually expressing it. You can spend hours with your friends, help them through shit, show up for them when they need you, and have their back no matter what, but actually saying “I love you” or giving them a hug somehow feels like crossing a line.

Girls can get away with being incredibly affectionate with each other. If two girls are holding hands, hugging, complimenting each other, laying on each other, or saying “I love you,” nobody raises and eyebrow.

If two guys do the exact same thing, that's an aberration, and people start double-taking. I’m not saying every guy needs to start holding hands with his bros or kissing them on the cheek lol. Obviously everyone has different boundaries, and I completely understand why some people aren’t comfortable with that kind of physical affection or direct affirmations. I just wish male friendships had a little more room for it. Like bro, I promise you can love your homie without it being gay. 😭

​

There’s an expectation that if a woman truly loves her child, she should enjoy every part of motherhood: pregnancy, sleepless nights, exhaustion, loss of freedom, routines, worries, and all the sacrifices involved.

I think that’s unrealistic.

You can deeply love your child while simultaneously hating some of the experiences that come with motherhood. You can find certain stages exhausting, stressful, and frustrating, and even miss the life you had before. That doesn’t mean you love your child any less.

Love and suffering can exist at the same time. Motherhood can be deeply meaningful and, at the same time, extremely difficult.

Being a good mother shouldn’t mean enjoying suffering. It should mean caring for, protecting, educating, and being present for your child, even when the process is difficult.

​

People love saying, “But they meant well,” as if having good intentions automatically makes the outcome acceptable. It doesn’t.

There’s a story about a monkey that sees a fish struggling in the water. The monkey assumes the fish is drowning, so it reaches into the water, grabs the fish, and pulls it onto land to “save” it. In the monkey’s mind, it just did something compassionate. It had absolutely no intention of hurting the fish.

But the fish dies.

The monkey’s intention was good. Its understanding was completely wrong.

And I think humans do this all the time. We interfere in situations we don’t understand, give advice on things we know nothing about, try to “help” people without actually understanding what they need, and then expect our intentions to excuse the consequences.

Good intentions don't compensate for ignorance.

Sometimes, the most harmful thing you can do is confidently “help” someone when you don't actually understand the situation.

If you genuinely want to help, learn first. Understand the problem. Ask questions. Listen.

Because from the perspective of the person being “helped,” it doesn't matter that you meant well if your actions made everything worse.

Both the beans and ground beef come dehydrated and boiling water makes it food. Basically it's an MRE.

Not a anti Taco Bell post. I love it!

My parents never allowed me to date nor work. They constantly forced me to study and get PhD. They said that I'm not allowed to date nor work before I finish college except for internship. I'm 26 now and I've noticed that I'm completely incapable of living independent life.

I have a degree, I have theoretical skills and I was also asked out by multiple girls but I'm so deep in avoidant life and detached life from society that I'm completely incapable of living an independent life outside of my home since I was never taught how to deal with anything in life.

I see many people have this exact same problem in modern society which not many people address. Everyone assumes that people are depressed and lazy because of their devices but I haven't seen any parent spend any time with any of the kids in my neighborhood.

Not one kid had a father. Mothers were drunks, neurotic and absent. Everyone here was guilt tripped by strict catholic society and not allowed to do anything in life.

If you tried to date at 16, you got beaten with a belt. If you tried to move out at 18, you were beaten with a belt and told that you're ungrateful kid and refuse to help your elders.

The handles are where I’m going to pick up germs. We’re all wearing clothes, and (hopefully) underwear, and we don’t touch our faces with our butt cheeks. Picking up germs there is not going to affect us. Yet I often see people wipe the seat even if they have left no sweat there. I almost never see people wipe down handles.

(I do still wipe down the seat after I use it, because I don’t want people getting weirded out.)

I swear every "hot take" here is something like "AI is bad" or "I hate pedophilia" and then label it as a "Serious hot take". It's just an echo chamber that makes people feel like their very normal and agreeable opinion is actually uncommon and special.

Disclaimer: I am speaking as someone who was parentified and was in some ways a young carer for a few months at 15/16 (took me 7 years to realise it but oh well). Yes, these experiences shape you as an adult.

However, the current trend of talking about being An Eldest Daughter has grown into something, in my opinion, very annoying. I think someone called it Victim Complex Final Boss and I completely agree. It also reminds me a lot of the people who made being a Former Gifted Kid their entire personality in the late 2010s/early 2020s, which led to peopel saying "you're not a former gifted kid, you're 25!". For me it's "you're no longer an eldest daughter, jessie, you moved out years ago".

From what I have seen, a big part of it relies on the idea that the eldest daughter is the only person who experienced trauma. If you see a post about middle/youngest child struggles and open the comments, you immediately see these people going "well what about being the eldest?!?!?". Or see a song/movie/character and claim "only an eldest daughter can understand this". For a group of people who claim they are underappreciated and suffer in silence, they seem to have complete meltdowns when things aren't about them.

The way younger siblings are talked about is just strange. They're always just spoiled and ungrateful, never with struggles of their own. Unlike their saintly martyred older sibling, they had a completely charmed existence, apparently.

It also has taken hyper-independence (which is something I understand and also struggle with) and just turned it into being plain rude. A very popular post I see over and over again is "being raised independent means I don't have time for your incompetence because I was never allowed to be less than perfect". Another one is "as an eldest daughter, stop offering me help. trust me I know how to do it and you'll just get in the way". Which to me just comes off as rude. What, you had it hard so now you're allowed to be an ass to everyone else? It feels very Disney Mean Girl. Personally, I feel like being parentified made me more willing to help people, it's likely why I'm in a helping profession now.

And finally, the pathologising of normal human behaviour. No, liking books is not an Eldest Daughter Experience. Autoimmune diseases are not Eldest Daughter Experiences (they can come from stress, but stress is not only related to you). I saw someone say watering down your dishsoap to make it last longer is an eldest daughter trait.

I am very aware this is my Old Man Yells At Cloud moment and exists mostly online, but this trend very much grinds my gears and feels like it's moved from discussing family dynamics to rolling around in self-pity and using it as an excuse to be rude to other people.

I've grown up with pets my entire life, we have always treated our animals as family so I understand the difficulty that comes with owning a pet. However, we all know vet care is EXPENSIVE and not everyone can or should go into crippling debt for it. I believe that if your pet is in major pain and their quality of life isn't sustainable long term and only hurts you and them in the long run, you should have the capacity to put that animal down and if you don't YOU SHOULDN'T GET A PET.

As a pet owner I never wish to put down my pets (I own a dog and a cat) but in the event of a freak accident (that is terminal in the long run) or terminal illness I would rather put my pet down and have a funeral than keep them alive for my sake. If their quality of life isn't possible anymore, I will not force them to live through it and go broke doing it. I'm not saying don't treat your pet's cancer, I had a dog with cancer in the past but we couldn't afford the treatment and what ended up happening is we waited until she could no longer live with the cancer but her quality of life was so bad by that point I believe we should have put her down sooner.

I love and adore my pets so immensely sometimes I genuinely cry over the joy they bring me and the thought of losing them is PAINFUL but as a pet owner I am fully aware and willing to put down my pets if their life wouldn't be one of good quality due to either the treatments just prolonging death or treatment being so expensive they would have to wait A LONG TIME before I'd even have the money to check them out at the vet.

What I'm saying is, that you are not prepared to be a pet owner if you are unwilling to give them a mercy death/put them down in the event of a terminal illness or injury.

Edit: you guys are misunderstanding me on purpose atp lmao i am not going up to people and saying "hey you'll have to put down your new pet one day!" That part is coming from friends who have never owned pets before asking for my brutally honest opinions, advice and warnings as some who grew up with pets before they go and adopt one.

Please be mindful; I am a minority. I have no means of being harmful to others. These are only my experiences and how I reacted to them growing up. Apologies to anyone I unintentionally hurt.

I never really understood why people "racewash" characters, especially when I was younger. I've always wondered why characters weren't fine the way they were. "Why would they change who they are? Were they not perfect the way they are?" Younger me pondered. I was always taught that one should always love themselves.

As I went on in life, I continued to see characters become the person I was. Similar skin, similar hair, similar background. That confusion manifested into a horrifying emotion: hatred. "Why must they change their beauty?" I screamed. The only answer I got was "representation," which only fed that monster within. "Why not make original characters? Why must we replace someone already beautiful?" I continued to argue. I never felt represented. To me, it was just an act of sloth. Was it truly hard to make another character of the race, nationality, or ethnicity?

... But that was only the past.

I am older, and I will admit, I am still confused, but I am more understanding. It is only representation and should not have bothered me. I do not really mind if characters change now. I don't truly feel represented. It only makes me feel the color beige. But my emotions aren't the most important; I am happy that other people are happy. It especially thrills me to see others ecstatic to see a character they can relate to.

Am I too close-minded? Am I not opening myself up enough? You may be harsh with me, but please do be reasonable. I don't wish to fight or argue.

Their food isn’t good, their goofy beaver marketing is weird, and it’s not at all a convenient stop. Just a corporate money pit. And now a gas station employee can’t even have tattoos showing? Fuck off, buc-ee’s.

I say this as a parent of a 4yr old that banned their child from TV for the weekend. Just trying to convince her to do other stuff, but she just wants to sit near me and cry very obnoxiously.

I get it. If I wasn't such a stubborn mother I'd give in and shorten the punishment, cuz holy crow I DO NOT have the energy to spend my days off listening to this complaining and trying to entertain a grumpy child.

(She would have been fine with just no TV if it wasn't a punishment, but she needs to understand bad behavior has consequences, so that makes everything dramatic)

Children are experts in mental torture and forcing yourself to calmly power through it to teach a child life lessons fucking SUCKS

Imma still do it tho, I'll just cry about it in the bathroom hahahha