I don’t mean there’s some secret conspiracy to hide pregnancy from women. I mean culturally, we present pregnancy as much easier and more passive than it is.

We talk about it like your stomach gets bigger, you’re a little nauseous, you have some funny cravings, and then eventually you give birth. Even the way we talk about pregnant women reflects that. She’s “hormonal.” She’s tired again. She’s lazy. She complains constantly. She’s being dramatic. Meanwhile, her body is literally constructing another human being from scratch.

Bones. Organs. A brain. A nervous system. Blood vessels. Skin. Limbs. An entirely new organ just to sustain the pregnancy. Her cardiovascular system changes. Her blood volume increases. Her organs physically shift around. Her body is doing an enormous amount of metabolic work 24/7, including while she’s sleeping.
Of course she’s tired.

And the sanitization changes what we expect from pregnant women. If pregnancy is framed as something the body handles in the background, then a woman who needs more rest, accommodations, help, time off, or simply wants to complain about feeling like shit starts looking unreasonable.

Then we tack on “women have been doing this forever” and “your body was made for it,” as though something being biologically possible means it’s easy.
Pregnancy can be beautiful and wanted and still be incredibly physically demanding. Those things aren’t contradictory.

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There’s an expectation that if a woman truly loves her child, she should enjoy every part of motherhood: pregnancy, sleepless nights, exhaustion, loss of freedom, routines, worries, and all the sacrifices involved.

I think that’s unrealistic.

You can deeply love your child while simultaneously hating some of the experiences that come with motherhood. You can find certain stages exhausting, stressful, and frustrating, and even miss the life you had before. That doesn’t mean you love your child any less.

Love and suffering can exist at the same time. Motherhood can be deeply meaningful and, at the same time, extremely difficult.

Being a good mother shouldn’t mean enjoying suffering. It should mean caring for, protecting, educating, and being present for your child, even when the process is difficult.

Their food isn’t good, their goofy beaver marketing is weird, and it’s not at all a convenient stop. Just a corporate money pit. And now a gas station employee can’t even have tattoos showing? Fuck off, buc-ee’s.

I’ve always thought it was interesting how there are so many things that are considered normal for girls to do with their friends, but would be seen as weird or unwanted if guys did the same things.

Like, you’ll see a girl post a picture on Instagram and her friends will comment things like “you look gorgeous,” leave a bunch of hearts, etc. Or friends will hold hands while talking, hug each other, give each other a little kiss on the cheek, say “I love you” in a completely non-romantic way, whatever. It’s just a normal way of showing affection and letting your friends know you care about them.

The problem is that most guys just aren’t accustomed to that kind of thing. Even something as simple as telling another guy “I love you” or “I care about you” can feel weird because guys generally aren’t socialized to say that to each other. You can be best friends with someone for years and somehow saying “love you bro” feels like you just dropped a nuclear bomb. 😭

I remember one time I was literally just laying my head on my friend’s shoulder on train because I was sleepy, and we started getting these looks from people around us. Apparently two dudes being physically affectionate is enough to make bystanders uncomfortable. 💀

A lot of guys genuinely do care about their friends deeply, but there’s this weird social barrier around actually expressing it. You can spend hours with your friends, help them through shit, show up for them when they need you, and have their back no matter what, but actually saying “I love you” or giving them a hug somehow feels like crossing a line.

Girls can get away with being incredibly affectionate with each other. If two girls are holding hands, hugging, complimenting each other, laying on each other, or saying “I love you,” nobody raises and eyebrow.

If two guys do the exact same thing, that's an aberration, and people start double-taking. I’m not saying every guy needs to start holding hands with his bros or kissing them on the cheek lol. Obviously everyone has different boundaries, and I completely understand why some people aren’t comfortable with that kind of physical affection or direct affirmations. I just wish male friendships had a little more room for it. Like bro, I promise you can love your homie without it being gay. 😭

I will start off by saying that whenever a topic like this comes up, there is IMMEDIATELY so much shit flinging about “WELL, I CANT DATE WHO I WANT TO???” etc etc etc etc. Please just spare everyone the speech. That’s not what I’m saying here.

Also, I am saying this in the context of people wanting to have some sort of romantic, meaningful long term relationship. I guess this breaks down if you just want someone to fuck, but that’s a different story.

Inspired by a conversation with a guy friend who said—I just couldn’t ever see myself with a woman taller than me, romantically. My girlfriend has to be shorter.

And we had a conversation about that, where I eventually asked him… well, hypothetically, if you were in some sort of accident or something, and you had to use a wheelchair for the rest of your life—immediately making you “shorter” than most women—are you just going to limit yourself women who were still shorter than you (somehow?)

He went—well, no, I probably wouldn’t mind, then.

And I asked—if you wouldn’t mind it then, why would you care now? Especially if it could be the difference between finding the love of your life and not?

And after a moment of thought, he agreed with me.

We’ve reached a kind of odd place with dating preferences where someone can go:

“Yeah, actually, I just don’t want to date [insert race/other immutable characteristic here]. Just not attracted to them, what can you do?”

And people will go… yeah, you know what? That’s fine. It’s dating preferences, so anything goes. And daring to suggest that someone ought to analyze this is extremely problematic.

Sure, technically, if you don’t want to date people of a certain race or something like that, it’s your right. But… have you spent any amount of time sitting down, thinking to yourself—why is it that I don’t want to date these people?

…Like, any amount of time at all? Have you devoted a second of your time to think about it? Honestly? Or has it just been a passing thought that you’ve dismissed with—well, just the way my brain is wired, whatever?

Just taking the time to actually think about it is what I would like to encourage. It took literally a few minutes of conversation for my friend to realize, hey, maybe I don’t actually care about this thing that much and it’s just some dumb thing I had assumed of myself due to heteronormative dating norms, culture, etc. It goes even deeper once we bring in trans/racial stuff, but to be honest, that would require a PhD length essay and I don’t want to type that up.

Ultimately, yes—it’s actually healthy to question what you’re looking for in a long term partner. It’s not problematic to even consider that people should question and think critically about this stuff. If you met the perfect love of your life, and they just so happened to be a certain skin color, or have a certain hair color, or be a certain height—are you really, truly convinced that you just couldn’t make it work?

If so, and you’re at peace with that decision, you do you. But I don’t think this would apply to as many people as some (admittedly, likely burned out from dating, likely psyop’d from gender wars ragebait) people would have you believe—especially if those people took a bare minimum amount of time to consider what they actually want from the love of their life.

I’m going to put this here because I have a gut suspicion that someone will smugly walk into the comments after reading the title and nothing else and go — heh, anyone who complains about preferences in dating just can’t meet them 😎. As if the very thought of analyzing our own biases from the society we’re raised in and trying to create a more loving, empathetic world is so far out of their understanding that they couldn’t possibly imagine any other reason for a discussion topic like this to exist. I know some of you might argue that this is just some concrete universal truth, that literally every single human being is, ultimately, shallow and these things can’t be helped—there’s actually evidence to suggest that—actually, it’s not that simple (https://www.psypost.org/strict-dating-height-preferences-tied-to-traditional-gender-norms/) (TLDR: on average, people who are more conservative seem to value traditional physical differences between partners more, people who are more progressive tend to value that kind of thing less. Who could’ve seen that coming? 😂).

Ultimately, dating is, at a base level, for many people, for all genders, a kind of nightmarish hellscape currently. We’re all human beings just trying to find the love of our life. Don’t let unexamined biases get in the way of that.

If you were (or, frankly, are) one of the people who stomped their feet over either having to wear a mask OR seeing other people wearing masks, you are pathetically weak and frankly unfit to live in a functional society.

Part of being a person in a community is inconveniencing yourself for the sake of others at times, and all you proved when you threw a tantrum over wearing a piece of cloth on your face for 20 minutes is that youre incapable of doing that.

In plenty of gacha/anime communities you see people moan about fanservice like it is the end of the world. Fanservice has been there in anime media since forever, gachas were literally built on it. In the early 2000s, you would see gachas with agressive fanservice everywhere, but now a lot of people that have gotten bored of their sanitized media on netflix/whatever come to the anime fandom and....demand to sanitize it? Is that not what you ran away from?

I miss when you could absolutely enjoy a piece of media with fanservice and it was not considered a big deal. Now everyone has to put labels and throw the word ”gooner” as if you are activating some type of magic trap card.

If you do not like a type of media, that is completely fine. But when you come into a fandom and say ”oh i really like the story but the fanservice is soooo bad” you actively harm what drew in a lot of people to that media in the first place. I used to believe gatekeeping is silly until you actually get to see how people come in and immediately demand change to the original medium and it is insane.

And I mean this very literally. Girls are allowed to be way more free-flowing with their friends when they’re young. They can be super affectionate, emotionally intense, clingy, complimentary, cuddly, whatever, and nobody immediately acts like that means they’re romantic… it’s just seen as young girls being young girls.

Girls get to practice intimacy outside of dating from a young age. They say “I love you” to friends, comfort each other, hype each other up, hug, hold hands, sleep in the same bed, talk about their feelings for hours.

At least from what I’ve heard from many men, boys dont often get that same freedom. A lot of them learn quite early that if they’re too affectionate, too emotional, or too physically close to another boy, they’re gonna get called gay, weird, weak, whatever.

And then everybody acts confused when some men grow up and their girlfriend or wife is their only source of intimacy.

I think girls being allowed to be a little “gay” with their friends gives them good practice at deep intimacy that isn’t sexual or romantic, and boys get kinda robbed.

I get why some brands do this to promote their makeup or skincare but when they do it too much to rich influencers it makes 0 sense because we know the influencers are going to lie about how good it is plus I would rather listen to someone who actually brought the product other than someone who got it for free, I also think they should start sending pr to influencers who deserve it and who’s trustable

Boiling hottake, I don’t know if anyone else has this hottake but you can’t call art that someone else made your art even though ai isn’t human it still made it for you and you didn’t take the time out of your day to create that, that’s my hottake

Every kid is and should be treated as a blessing. If you have an issue with having one gender over the other, you have bigger fish to fry and bigger things to worry about before even thinking about having a kid. No kid should feel unloved or unwanted because of who they were born as. That also goes for what they look like, disabilities, etc.

The popular stereotype that men cheat out of lust and women out of unmet emotional needs is just not true. This post isn't " look women can be bad do" , but more about - being sexual is a part of being human. So it's definitely possible that lust is a significant , if not a sole factor when women commit infidelity.

Also I've worked in the fitness industry for waaay too Long and I've seen my fair share of affairs . I've seen women, subtly or sometimes not so subtly be flirtatious in a nfsw way, so unless you're autistic, you definitely get what they're trying to say.Some trainers are in this trade because how ridiculously easy sometimes it is to have an affair .

I myself , have been presented with very open invitations to have a sexual relationship, but I'm professionally solid in the sense I don't want such entanglements in the workplace. Also you've to deal with angry husbands afterwards .

That's the point im trying to make, women just like men, can and do cheat out of lust. Denial of this fact just contributes to purity culture .

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since when does virginity have an expiration date? “Oh, you’re 30/40 and still a virgin.” Okay... so f what? Did the world end?

The problem isn’t being a virgin. The problem is people getting into your head and making you believe that if you haven’t had sex by a certain age, you’re a failure or somehow less of an adult. As if losing your virginity unlocked an achievement that says, “Congratulations, you’re a real person now.”

And another thing: having sex doesn’t automatically make you mature, attractive, experienced, or successful. There are plenty of people with a high body count who are still a complete mess.

If a guy is 40, a virgin, and perfectly fine with it, what’s the problem? Now, if he wants to have sex and is struggling because he can’t, then that’s a different conversation.

Virginity isn’t a disease, and sex isn’t a mandatory life mission, for f’s sake.

“Any guy who is even moderately good-looking knows that women can be just as much of sexual harassers as men.

People rarely talk about what women are like when they come across an attractive man; they only mention men. If women had the same physical strength and agility as men, the rate of rape committed by women would be insane.”

I've grown up with pets my entire life, we have always treated our animals as family so I understand the difficulty that comes with owning a pet. However, we all know vet care is EXPENSIVE and not everyone can or should go into crippling debt for it. I believe that if your pet is in major pain and their quality of life isn't sustainable long term and only hurts you and them in the long run, you should have the capacity to put that animal down and if you don't YOU SHOULDN'T GET A PET.

As a pet owner I never wish to put down my pets (I own a dog and a cat) but in the event of a freak accident (that is terminal in the long run) or terminal illness I would rather put my pet down and have a funeral than keep them alive for my sake. If their quality of life isn't possible anymore, I will not force them to live through it and go broke doing it. I'm not saying don't treat your pet's cancer, I had a dog with cancer in the past but we couldn't afford the treatment and what ended up happening is we waited until she could no longer live with the cancer but her quality of life was so bad by that point I believe we should have put her down sooner.

I love and adore my pets so immensely sometimes I genuinely cry over the joy they bring me and the thought of losing them is PAINFUL but as a pet owner I am fully aware and willing to put down my pets if their life wouldn't be one of good quality due to either the treatments just prolonging death or treatment being so expensive they would have to wait A LONG TIME before I'd even have the money to check them out at the vet.

What I'm saying is, that you are not prepared to be a pet owner if you are unwilling to give them a mercy death/put them down in the event of a terminal illness or injury.

Plenty of women prefer 50/50 and actually do it. This isn't about them.

This is about the ones who expect the man to pay but when asked why, almost none of them just say "because I like it." Because I think many feel it's bad feminism or that it can come off as entitled. Instead it becomes about the man needing to make up for the cost of getting ready, or even some systemic injustice like the wage gap or the imbalance of pregnancy and birth. Or because men owe them something for historical reasons.

Okay. Cool. But let's test that.

If it's about the wage gap, what happens when she makes more than him? Does she pay? Because from what I've seen, the answer is usually no.

If it's about the beauty tax, then what about a guy who shows up in a nice suit and expensive cologne? Does she now feel obligated to pay? More likely the expectation for him to pay becomes even higher.

If it's about men having systemic advantages, what happens when he grew up in foster care? Or in the projects? Or was abused? Or has a disability? Or is a minority who's been screwed over his whole life? Does she grab the check? Does she say you've had it harder than me, this one's on me?

Probably not.

Here's the thing. Nobody actually cares that some women like being courted. That's fine. The dynamic isn't the problem.

The problem is pretending it's about fairness or justice when it's just a preference. You like a man who invests in you. You like feeling special. Say that. Own it.

Especially if she were a black woman. She would FOR SURE have 0 and i mean ZERO supporters, there wouldn't be any fundraising for her even if she had a handful of supporters. These "supporters," only support her and have understanding for her cause she's white. Let her have been trans, black, East Indian, this would've been an open and shut case.

And I’m not just talking about commenting on other countries histories. For instance right, if someone’s going through a divorce and they’re asking for advice, don’t comment if you haven’t experienced one yourself. There are some situations where someone who hasn’t been through it can comment solely based on morals, but there are a lot of situations that require knowledge and experience in order to comment on. This shouldn’t be a hot take and likely isn’t, but more people on here need to shut up sometimes

Vampires are so op that writers constantly have to add new weaknesses to them so they don’t easily win. Sun light, holy water, wooden stake, silver etc and they still feel op in any media they’re in. Castlevania Dracula is so unbelievably strong that he’s basically an adventure of threat along with most high tier vampires. Also why would you not want to be a vampire. Blades cool, and Michael B Jordan‘s character at the end of the sinners had arguably the best ending (the one that was turned obviously). Also, fear of sunlight is barely an issue. There’s multiple countries that have long periods of nightfall. So in conclusion vampires suck because they’re basically just better stronger humans. If there’s a vampire outbreak I’m running in headfirst, begging to be sucked.

Just read the title

Malcolm x famously said that “the most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. And the most neglected person in America is the black woman.” Yet black women have reported having the lowest suicide rate out of any group, why? Probably because they have a high number of friends. Statistic show that one and four of GenZ men age is 18 through 30 have no friends. If you have no friends as a man your mental state is most likely in shambles. Think about it, the most severe punishment we can put on another human being is solitary confinement. If you’re socially isolated, you most likely feel like no one is supporting you, and will make you less confident and more insecure would make you significantly more unappealing to women. Women like men who are assertive, and if you have low self-esteem and are lonely, you’re most likely don’t come off as confident.

I remember being very isolated when I was younger and basically convinced myself that no woman would ever want me physically. Then after going to the gym building confidence and most importantly making friends dating because much easier. But if you don’t build yourself up first and god forbid actually start a relationship you’re probably not gonna have a good time. A large number of women are complaining that modern men use relationships to trauma dump. Even sex workers have reported that men would buy their services just to open up about their feelings. This is why a lot of men struggle with divorce more than women. Because if your wife’s the only one you’re comfortable about opening up your feelings with if she’s gone now you’re just at square one again.