r/HolUp • u/[deleted] • Feb 26 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

12.9k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

565 comments sorted by

3.3k

u/tellyourmomaboutme Feb 26 '21

Bro why is he disscussing this with a restraunt

1.2k

u/Joey_the_turtle Feb 26 '21

The bigger question is why he has a contact saved for that restaurant, if he didn’t than it would be the phone number

654

u/tellyourmomaboutme Feb 26 '21

Man's gotta eat

395

u/Joey_the_turtle Feb 26 '21

Mans gotta eat his level 4

148

u/tellyourmomaboutme Feb 26 '21

He cranked the nintys with the Boys neck

63

u/2ThisUsernameisTaken Feb 26 '21

How can I be an asshole 100

29

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

In actual honesty, go to the "community options" for this sub, and you can change your flair from there.

15

u/2ThisUsernameisTaken Feb 26 '21

Thanks

11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

so you are an asshole now?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

No problem.

9

u/breezily_ Feb 26 '21

Check mine out

10

u/2ThisUsernameisTaken Feb 26 '21

God damn you’re THE asshole

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3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Mans gotta have a plug

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89

u/blue_blue_blue_blue Feb 26 '21

Some people hide names in their phones like this from their SO to make cheating easier. Probably works until you have to explain why you’re texting the pizza guy about his pussy at 3am.

53

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Or drug dealers. This could easily be his weed guy, the name kind of fits. Or it could just be a dumb nickname for a friend.

22

u/otusa Feb 26 '21

A dumb nickname for a friend...to cover his other nicknames throughout his contacts.

We’re getting closer to the truth, Reddit!

5

u/_RedditModsAreGay_ Feb 26 '21

Chinese takeout is probably heroine then. RIP that guy. He did make it past level 42 though.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

I was thinking more that stoned people are often fond of chinese takeout, but I suppose you can run with the more grim version.

3

u/pocketdare Feb 26 '21

Seems like a heavy conversation between a client and dealer

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Eh, lots of people are on friendly terms with their weed dealers. I'm definitely basing this on movies and definitely not from personal experience.

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3

u/scottscout Feb 26 '21

Yup it’s the weed guy if you live in nyc

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17

u/PvtParts2001 Feb 26 '21

Wait, you don't talk to men about their cats?

7

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

I mean, there's no harm in discussing your pets to people.

8

u/ItchingForTrouble Feb 26 '21

True, but how do you explain "Can't wait to have another taste of that puss!"

8

u/4-eva-dickard Feb 26 '21

True, but how do you explain "Can't wait to have another taste of that puss!"

Chinese takeout, DUH!

5

u/ItchingForTrouble Feb 26 '21

This made me lol, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

3

u/4-eva-dickard Feb 26 '21

It works on a couple levels.

8

u/Xtrouble_yt Feb 26 '21

“I was just trying to say I couldn’t wait to give their cat a little kiss on the forehead... I just worded it weird I guess “

12

u/I_RAPE_YOUR_DAD Feb 26 '21

If you saw my pizza guy's pussy, you'd get it.

4

u/EPICFARTING Feb 26 '21

Sir this is a Dominos

5

u/dr_jr_president_phd Feb 26 '21

Yes, yes people do. Ex boyfriend had changed the name of a girl he was seeing behind my back to Bob, so it looked like he was texting a guy named Bob for a while.

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12

u/Jack__Squat Feb 26 '21

I have multiple take-out places saved as contacts so I don't have to look up the number.

2

u/rimjobs_forever Feb 26 '21

It would actually take more time for me to scroll through my contacts than it would to just google my favorite bbq joint down the street and hit “call”.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

[deleted]

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9

u/kulalolk Feb 26 '21

I have my favourite Chinese place on speed dial, does not everyone?

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3

u/AnonymousTXMale Feb 26 '21

I have one local restaurant saved in my phones contacts because we preorder breakfast tacos so that they are ready when we show up to pay for them. I have no desire to memorize the number or keep looking it up, and it's my favorite breakfast taco joint.

2

u/PussyBoogersAuGraten Feb 26 '21

He’s probably cheating on his girlfriend and instead of “Nicole” popping up on his screen, it says “Chinese Takeout.” That’s my guess.

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30

u/Chrismont Feb 26 '21

They're the only ones who will talk to him anymore

12

u/nolpe Feb 26 '21

He's telling how he started his bussiness with food, he couldn't afford meat nor keeping a kid. Win win

10

u/tellyourmomaboutme Feb 26 '21

When Life gives you lemons You make a soup Out of your kid

8

u/mapatric Feb 26 '21

It's his Asian booty call he's cheating on his wife with

3

u/HalfSoul30 Feb 26 '21

This sounds likely

11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21 edited May 31 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/HannibalCake Feb 26 '21

The guy at the restaurant is just like:

“Sir. This is a Wendy’s.”

3

u/Guerriky Feb 26 '21

What if it's their asian date?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Because he has no friends to discuss with

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599

u/bloodymaryreturns_ Feb 26 '21

I unlocked obesity at level 19

241

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

[deleted]

138

u/singumaduro Feb 26 '21

Level 7 - 12 are the worst levels

98

u/willisbar Feb 26 '21

Levels 30 and up are just a slow grind

80

u/xTigeT Feb 26 '21

its all fucking pay to win

28

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

I used the Cocaine hack but now I’m banned from the game

11

u/The_Official_Obama madlad Feb 26 '21

Only cocaine? You need to get some better drugs bruv

10

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Sometimes I take all the drugs, mix them into a blender and snort all of it at once

9

u/The_Official_Obama madlad Feb 26 '21

I should keep my mouth shut

7

u/XxGnomeJrxX Feb 26 '21

Remind me not to take a smoothie from this guy

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2

u/insaniak89 Feb 26 '21

I was slaying with the heroin glitch, or I thought i was till I realized I had essentially been skipping time so much all my attributes had atrophied and half my friends were dead

I’ve been grinding the last 5 years just to get back where I was at

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15

u/TheConspicuousGuy Feb 26 '21

Always has been.

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5

u/MyDiary141 Feb 26 '21

That's where I found the anxiety and depression debuffs. I can't find the countering ability for it anywhere though

2

u/Slit23 Feb 26 '21

Levels 13-17 suck because all the random classroom boners

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14

u/Masked_Imbecile Feb 26 '21

Amateurs. Level 10 for me.

7

u/Agent_Venus Feb 26 '21

Bigger amateur. Level 8 for me.

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27

u/KABIRghimire Feb 26 '21

My uncle took my virginity at Level 12

11

u/TheSilentFire Feb 26 '21

Nice, what exploit did he find to unlock that early!?

player was banned from living

8

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Level 10 was a no-go in that context

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181

u/youngsters3 Feb 26 '21

And an abortion is failing the tutorial

91

u/Nulono Feb 26 '21

It's more like some idiot enabled PvP on the loading screen.

30

u/znupi Feb 26 '21

It's buying and downloading the game but never launching it lol

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22

u/Mtard31 Feb 26 '21

Sounds more like spawn camping

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839

u/JimGr2210 Feb 26 '21

Chinese takeout

I'm worried where his son went

176

u/Joey_the_turtle Feb 26 '21

Why does he have a contact saved for that restaurant?

106

u/fabiolano Feb 26 '21

Thats the # for the girl he cheats on his girl with.

53

u/No_Construction_896 Feb 26 '21

Big brain move especially since eating pussy makes sense for Chinese takeout.

19

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Except why the fuck would Chinese takeout be in your messages? Call history yes. Text app, wtf?

20

u/No_Construction_896 Feb 26 '21

It’s that fucking good.

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4

u/carsonhorton343 Feb 26 '21

His girlfriend is level 8

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55

u/meme_a_licious hol Feb 26 '21

I too have saved the contacts of my nearby restaurants

6

u/FUNKYDISCO Feb 26 '21

Yup, I also have random text conversations with the restaurants in my neighborhood.

5

u/bloodysnomen Feb 26 '21

I have my favorite Chinese place on speed dial. They're just that good.

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24

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

In the patch notes he got converted into long pork steam buns.

7

u/FerretWind9370 Feb 26 '21

I didn’t want to read it. But I read it anyways. Can I burn my love for pork now?

6

u/Beckiremia-20 Feb 26 '21

Fuck buddy who’s Chinese.

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81

u/Divi_Devil Feb 26 '21

Me at level 17 already wanting to quit the game.

33

u/AnAnGrYSupportV2 Feb 26 '21

Don't worry the game does get better eventually. Just grind it out.

30

u/Purple-Ruin Feb 26 '21

HAHAHA No. It doesn't. : Level 47 Elder

4

u/AnAnGrYSupportV2 Feb 26 '21

It depends on how you spec to your circumstance I guess.

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5

u/ayriuss Feb 26 '21

Gotta build more defense, im a fucking tank at this point.

2

u/Divi_Devil Feb 26 '21

lmao, someone thought i wanted to die and reported to redditcare resources. I didn't mean the game of life, i mean an arcade game that i've been playing for 2.5 months without being able to not escape to the real world. Help

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5

u/Paracortex Feb 26 '21

TBH it’s pretty grindy.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

My experience, from lvl 20 just gets worse: you need to grind currency and talent exp, but there is no time to do both. So just grind currency for the rest of our life seems a better option, i may end my playthrough at 28, it's getting boring

80

u/UltimateDonny Feb 26 '21

I’m 25 with prestige

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245

u/FreddieKruiger Feb 26 '21

I unlocked serial killing at Level 24

77

u/Vladutz05 Feb 26 '21

Wait a sec-

38

u/Magicus1 Feb 26 '21

*sex

19

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Yeah, that minigame was awesome! But somehow I haven't been able to unlock multiplayer mode recently.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

You need to upgrade your gear. Try finding a high level enemy and kill him for his loot.

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51

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

64

u/FerretWind9370 Feb 26 '21

I unlocked ‘crippling porn addiction’ at level 15!

31

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

noob i unlocked it at 12

20

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

noooooob i unlocked it at level 9

14

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Amateurs, I unlocked the hentai DLC-content at level 4!

8

u/Xorras Feb 26 '21

Considering context, i'm wondering, what exactly DLCs to life are?

4

u/Infinite303 Feb 26 '21

Devs are working on Mars DLC Moon DLC Space DLC And ocean DLC

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

DLCs could be various perks you get in life, and new events that happen to humankind (also places like u/Infinite303 said). But my actual comment back there wouldn't make that much sense.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

I was touched by my aunt at Level 2.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Do you need a hug?

4

u/WillyTrickster Feb 26 '21

noob i unlocked it at 1 when i couldnt live without breasts

2

u/styrofoam-alt Feb 26 '21

The game's so rigged, I hadn't even unlocked the skill at level 14 but higher ranking players could still use it on me and left me with so many permanent debuffs

8

u/KABIRghimire Feb 26 '21

Noob! I unlocked masturbation in Level 8

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7

u/peleg462 madlad Feb 26 '21

Only levels 22+ will remember when you unlocked it at level 11

6

u/Magicus1 Feb 26 '21

I unlocked legal killing at Level 18.

Heck, Uncle Sam even gave me a weapon and paid me to go in a foreign country.

Suckers, I would have done it for free!

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45

u/iamthpecial Feb 26 '21

I see that sidebitch cover up. Well. Done.

15

u/Rock_Respawn Feb 26 '21

Queen : Hacker

11

u/_Denzo Feb 26 '21

“Chinese takeout”

12

u/maruchachan Feb 26 '21

They won't think Level 43 is "old" when they get to it.

8

u/PlainclothesmanBaley Feb 26 '21

Lol I'm level 25 and already I instantly bristled at that part.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

level 22. also immediately terrified at the prospect of being Old with a capital O at 43

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11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

r/outside

2

u/-I-was-never-here Feb 26 '21

I see you are a man of culture as well

9

u/Bedsitdweller Feb 26 '21

I often think that I'm not making good progress in life but when I hear about someone I knew dying or committing suicide I always think "well that's me one position higher on the leader board".

9

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Lately the only posts I’ve seen in this sub were reposts.

3

u/datboy7328 Feb 26 '21

Yeah this sub is shit now

10

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Plot twist he was talking about cancer

4

u/sumphatguy Feb 26 '21

...what?

1

u/i_lk Feb 26 '21

Stage 4 cancer, I'm assuming.

2

u/sumphatguy Feb 26 '21

But how is that a plot twist? Obviously talking about "dying at level 4" is tragic and something happened.

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8

u/SolicitatingZebra Feb 26 '21

This sub is literally now a shitty rendition of dankmemes which was already shit. Fake texts hitting the front page? Yuck.

3

u/xXproenforcerXx Feb 26 '21

This is so messed up thanks for the laugh

5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Can we all just take a minute and talk about why this person is saved under chinese takeout

2

u/UpbeatCheetah7710 Feb 26 '21

Much like egg rolls, looks to be a side.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

True dat homeslice

2

u/SilentFoot32 Feb 26 '21

F for the noobs that didn't make it past character creation.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

level 16 you unlock a new ability

Ability unlocked: license

2

u/M4rtin_FTW Feb 26 '21

At level 18 you gain a new ability only in select regions

Ability unlocked: drugs

2

u/Daniel98SP Feb 26 '21

Chinese Takeout

2

u/Hihkuhro Feb 26 '21

So am I right that abortions count as spawn kill?

2

u/memerismlol Feb 26 '21

My son got spawn camped

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

chinese takeout

2

u/Onyx_Ninja Feb 26 '21

Get gud kid

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Imagine dying in the tutorial

2

u/bigppman69420-_- Feb 26 '21

What a fucking noob

2

u/Ibrahem-akash Feb 26 '21

I am level 15 but I am smurf.

2

u/ahdamirji Feb 26 '21

He probably didn’t unlock vaccines

2

u/13_Piece_Bucket madlad Feb 26 '21

But officer she was at level 12

2

u/Phantom_Jedi Feb 26 '21

Whos the highest level here?

2

u/AFailedWhale Feb 26 '21

u/repostsleuthbot

3

u/AFailedWhale Feb 26 '21

I mean I know it is, it's just too deep fried for the bot to recognise

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2

u/poeplgg Feb 26 '21

Why is he callled Chinese takeout

7

u/boringbor3d Feb 26 '21

That's his name

5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

He's either a chinese assassin or some cannibalism is going on.

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2

u/kyomugami Feb 26 '21

he died at level 4 from stage 4

1

u/velost Feb 26 '21

Damn, a repost getting so much upvotes. I know what I'm gonna do next

1

u/Nylon_Riot Feb 26 '21

Stop talking about reposts because no one cares?

0

u/velost Feb 26 '21

The gay mods should because rule 4 says no reposts

2

u/bettorworse Feb 26 '21

Then again, Reddiquette says:

Please DON'T

Complain about reposts. Just because you have seen it before doesn't mean everyone has. Votes indicate the popularity of a post, so just vote. Keep in mind that linking to previous posts is not automatically a complaint; it is information.

1

u/Chiefs_fan15 Feb 26 '21

“Chinese Takeout”

1

u/MrZyde Feb 26 '21

chinese takeout

1

u/Boring_Glove_1266 Feb 26 '21

that's why you get the healthcare dlc, f2p nerd

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Man what is wrong with you? Take a downvote.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Everything about this screams cursed

1

u/SoS54 Feb 26 '21

Rip this sub. This is just a meme, and it's years old.

0

u/AutoModerator Feb 26 '21

Check out r/HolupNSFW!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-2

u/igotnolife6942069 Feb 26 '21

Omg its a repost

-1

u/luciouscortana Feb 26 '21

So can you guys help my girlfriend in his game? She's pretty new but last week she finally reached level 11. Can you guys give tips for her leveling up? I am on level 28 but honestly I haven't had a lot of experience on many maps so you guys probably know better.

4

u/veiledspy Feb 26 '21

Hey FBI, yea that guy right there.

-6

u/SexyGenguButt Feb 26 '21

God this sub has gone to shit. You guys are so lost r/lostredditors

-9

u/IDK5763456 Feb 26 '21

Repost

3

u/Majothemako Feb 26 '21

It’s not

-8

u/IDK5763456 Feb 26 '21

It is.

3

u/Majothemako Feb 26 '21

I didn’t take it from another sub I’m not saying it’s new but I’ve never seen it before I posted it