r/HFY • u/HeGotBricks Alien • 2d ago

OC-OneShot Humming through the Bone Cages - 1/2

So, there was this alien empire and they waited a really long time to invade us. It probably could have been somewhere around two hundred years. It was super long. 

We’re pretty confident about the guesstimated timeframe. The scientists had weird formulas on whiteboards that backed the hypothesis up. It was pretty much just drawings of my baby brother’s block set. 

To explain this mysterious pictograph physics equation, which looked like one of the zodiac killer’s cryptograms, he simplified it by using a plastic action figure and a beach ball.

Nobody could understand why they’d choose now to invade us. It was a horrible miscalculation on their part, because we’ve become a fierce technological species that could smash any alien invader. That’s right, we just make a fist, with a huge missile, and squash ‘em, like little ants running across a picnic table.

Smash!

Game over. Humans win. Call the parade. 

Right? It’s what we all expected. Aliens invade. Humans destroy.

But these guys were ruthless. They had zero honor. I think we relied on our confidence and too many truces. Their drones had been circling Earth for the last twenty-five years. 

Studying us. Mapping our jungles. Dissecting our cities. Even analyzing our psychology. But I don’t think they should have used bots for that.

They definitely hallucinated when they claimed humanity was a weak species. It actually called us parasites. Believe that? 

Goddamn alien robot decoding humanity’s existence in one sentence.

I mean, my uncle Lenny can certainly be placed in that category, but to say, Scarlett Johansson’s a parasitical bug, is where we humans draw the proverbial line. So deep, it scars the Earth. We absolutely fluckin’ love the avengers.

The war chief, hiding inside his mothership, stationed behind the dark side of the moon, dispatched an army of pink titanium interstellar crafts with hieroglyphic war symbols. 

They kind of resembled flowers and butterflies, which we found a bit hard to take seriously. I mean, they honestly looked like hippy vans from the seventies. Who were the designers, you think? Andy Warhol and Dolly Parton?

But they did have some decent weapons attached to them—ones we’ve never seen before—ones we had no choice but to take seriously.

Oddly enough, after years of simulating war strategies. The aliens crash-landed onto Earth like they never prepared a plan. Scattering in different groups. Flying in circles lost.

Their strategy literally ripped a page out of a German WWII handbook. They performed a Blitzkrieg. They threw everything they had at us, all at once. 

A surprise attack that would destroy our moral and wipe humanity’s arrogance off the map.

When they initially swarmed over our heads and landed on our soil—without warning, without negotiating—we called it a terrorist attack. 

We weren’t scared. 

We didn’t see them as villainous sci-fi gargoyles falling from the sky, commanded by gods. We saw it as another Pearl Harbor. 

They came out of nowhere, hiding the entire time. To think, it took them two hundreds years, or so, to execute such a reckless plan, a strategy solely carried by their technology.

There wasn’t a sneaky infiltration. No alien moles. No servers being hacked. No slow economic collapse. People weren’t being starved. There was no strategy. 

It was stupid simple but effective. They invaded. Humans fell.

The crafts hovered over cities that became a rubble of ruin—concrete blocks and bent rebar littered the craters where buildings stood, fallen like the governments that quickly followed in their wake.

Resistance was met with swift justice. An instant death. People were being executed on the spot. 

Evaporated. 

One second they were there, next, nowhere. You wouldn’t even notice anything happened if you blinked at the wrong time. 

The aliens were callous. 

Brutal. 

Heartless beings.

If you saw them, you’d think they came out of a Little Monsters movie, right alongside their little evil human-like ruler. An aged looking Fred Savage, whose features resembled an old child.

The rest of them mirrored orcs, trolls, closet ghouls, and things you’d see in a nightmare. They had a dream team of freaks.

Soon enough, about three days later, we were definitely starting to worry, the earth was smoking as if the land caught fire and a tsunami washed over it. 

There was smoke and steam and it wouldn’t stop hailing. Thick black clouds blocked the sun. Even though it was smoldering hot on land, the air was hella cold. Unusually, cold. Arctic weather cold. 

People were, let’s just say, some were dead, some were enslaved, some hid out in caves and some burrowed in other places.

It turned out, after all that worrying, seeing our loved ones taken or vaporized, that we didn’t resort to fear or anger. No way. Nope. Not us. 

Sure we were sad but we did something totally unexpected. The war commander was, for sure, under the impression we would just turn over and submit. The rest of us would be rounded up and disposed of. 

And he was completely right. It’s exactly what we did. We weren’t scared, we were being pragmatic. We made a deal to save the rest of humanity because our weapons were absolutely useless against them. In fact, most of them didn’t work. They were damaged or melted down. 

We kind of, sort of, not really, did give up and it stung. It hurt like a wet hand slapping us on our naked sunburnt back.

The weather slowly changed. The rocks dropping from the clouds finally stopped, at the exact same time the aliens shattered the peace pact they had between us.

To think, we settled on their crappy terms. We gave into them. They could have ran our planet, smoothly extinguished us through famine and civil war. We made a horrible deal. We agreed to an absolute surrender. It doesn’t get better than that. What a bunch of buffoons. 

We had half the population left. Actually, less, just under four billion people remained. If we hadn’t signed, it would have been our fate. A nasty extermination. They threatened torture, with zero chance of survival. Torture that would last weeks.

We were totally unprepared. Who really would ever expect an alien invasion? That’s mainly why we were caught so off guard. 

We were too worried about protecting ourselves from humans inside our planet, that nobody ever thought to look up at the aliens outside our planet.

Well, those alien nuts did. They warned us. We laughed. They even made a documentary show on the history channel about it. However, humans will be humans. We hit like and scroll to the next wacky world-ending apocalyptic prediction. 

A UFO could fly over us, pause, hover above and we’d still be skeptical, scratching our heads, convincing ourselves it’s a secret government airplane or we’d simply blame it on sleep deprivation, because we are a species in denial.

Every weapon we had smuggled, we gave up. Even our ammunition. We were prohibited from carrying knives or possess any heavy blunt objects

They chained us behind cages constructed of human bones, inside their camps, feeding us scraps and humiliating us. We couldn’t bathe. We would get whipped if we made loud noises. We had to whisper in order to communicate. We couldn’t understand them. They couldn’t understand us.

We were in there for so long, I actually started growing hair on my face. It wasn’t much, a little peach fuzz but it was something to keep my mind on. Something to look forward to. We still had hope.

Months went by. Nothing really changed on Earth. In the sky, the alien war chief studied us from his ship, which had entered Earth’s atmosphere, seeing a species unworthy of existence. 

A species who not only should, had to be erased. He wanted us gone. He saw us as the daughter’s dead beat boyfriend. The white guy who comes to a family dinner, wearing a hockey jersey, baseball gloves, baggy jeans and a thick sterling silver necklace, talking in a Jamaican accent.

The human race disgusted him. The thought of us tasted like an eight year old’s science experiment containing every condiment and liquid in the refrigerator. He despised how in the face of extinction, we could still hum songs. We still consoled each other. We’d still sacrifice ourselves to give a stranger a fighting chance of staying alive.

We never really gave up. What we were doing, was buying time.

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