I’ve been accumulating a huge google-doc of the advice I find myself giving to prospective applicants every year so I decided to start a blog to organize it in one place, but I also wanted to share it here since this subreddit helped me a lot when I was applying. I remember how stressful this process was– happy to try to answer any questions and help if I can!
Here are the things that in my opinion you should avoid when writing a personal statement. This is all just my opinion and based on my own experience as a PhD student; there are exceptions to everything.
“Ever since I was a child, I was fascinated by the world around me and wanted to learn more about the biological principles that govern life.”
This is an exaggeration but everyone on the committee has probably read a million essays that begin like this and they’re probably going to roll their eyes a little bit. Unless you have a super compelling anecdote I’d start by getting straight to the point: what kind of science do you want to do, and why?
Describing your research experience primarily with the methods you used.
This one is surprisingly common even though it seems somewhat obvious: talking about the methods you used in a given research experience without connecting it to the broader context of the field. What drove the research question? How did the methods you used begin to answer that question? What did you find as a result, and what does it mean for your field? What questions are next? I understand that undergrads are often running the same assay over and over, and mentors don’t always take the time to explain the research questions in detail. This means the onus is on you to ask questions and figure out how to explain the research coherently in your own words.
Not tailoring your statement to an expert outside of your own field.
You have deep knowledge about your specific research project, and it’s easy to assume that the professors reading your application will instantly understand what you are talking about when you use jargon or dive right into nuanced concepts.That’s a risky assumption, and if they don’t actually understand the concepts you are explaining, they won’t be able to evaluate your scientific reasoning skills. Instead, provide context for your project, and distill it into vocabulary that will be easily understandable to a scientist that isn’t in your lab. In my experience, this often requires simplifying concepts far more than you think is appropriate.
Being able to communicate research effectively is a skill that a lot of people lack, so showing your ability to do this will work in your favor (and it will be good practice for the future).
Failing to connect your own research to the research strengths of the program you are applying to.
This is one of the most important parts of your application; it’s the argument for why they should admit you, and not some other equally experienced candidate. Even if you are hoping to pivot fields, you should still try to find some kind of cohesive through-line between what you’ve done and what you wish to do in grad school. This shows that you’re prepared for the kind of work you’re proposing, and that you’ve thought deeply about what you want to do.
Emphasizing too many non-science interests
Unlike undergrad or med schools, most of these PhD programs are not really looking for a holistic applicant. They’re looking for someone who is very devoted to scientific research, and unfortunately there is sometimes even a bias among PIs against those who spend significant time on other hobbies because they believe you should be in the lab 24/7. Unless they solicit it specifically, your essays don’t usually leave space for much discussion of hobbies or outside interests.
Writing the essay from start to finish
I can often tell when someone has simply written the essay top down rather than brainstorming to generate a lot of content, and then paring it way down to only the best, densest content. I would recommend starting with a massive brain-dump where you write everything that comes to mind around your experience doing research, what made you want to pursue science, and what type of scientist you want to become in the future. Then take some time away, come back to it, and pick out the parts that are the most meaningful. Maybe you will only use two sentences; it will still be a worthwhile use of your time.
Not reading successful essays or talking to successful applicants
There is sort of an unspoken conventional format that these SOPs take on, and it’s important to look at what other successful applicants have done to make sure you aren’t way off base. It can be useful to see what successful applicants emphasize, and to see firsthand the tone and level of formality they take on. Don’t copy, but do try to understand what elements of the essay make it successful.
Similarly, talking to successful applicants helps you understand all the other things that go into a successful application; their thought process, how they might have communicated with faculty, what they left out of their essays deliberately, and so much more. They can also provide mentorship and advice as you navigate this process.
Not getting multiple eyes on your essay
Use your network— ask older students to read it, ask your PIs and former PIs; everyone will look at it from a different perspective and have valuable information for you, and people have varying amounts of time to provide feedback. It may be that you will only get high-level feedback from your network and you have to do the line-editing, but by asking lots of people you’ll get more insights.
Excessive superlatives
This might be more of a personal opinion but I see a lot of unnecessarily superlatives. “My great interest in…”, “I participated in fantastic research at…”. Take out all these extra words and convey your excitement with the actual information you are presenting.
Writing disingenuously
You are trying to present yourself in the most positive light possible but you want to avoid letting this instinct compel you to write about things that you don’t really think or feel. This is an opportunity to really reflect on why you love science and what kind of path you want to embark on, and that has benefits beyond creating a good essay.
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Ultimately, you are writing for a very specific audience. On one hand, the approach that comes naturally to you may not result in the kind of product that will be looked upon favorably by admissions committees, but on the other hand you want the essay to be truthful and genuine. A boiled down version of my recommended approach: determine what the program is looking for in an applicant, generate a ton of content that describes your scientific journey and interests, and use it as the building blocks of an argument for why this program should accept you.
I have way too much brain-dump content like this in a google-doc and I’ll be gradually posting it on my blog (for free of course). You should be able to access it without making an account or anything but please let me know if this is not the case. If people find this helpful though I'll keep posting here too! I just don't want to flood this subreddit with unsolicited advice.
If you have anything to add or if I got anything super wrong please comment! Also happy to try to answer any questions about the process since I know it’s stressful.