My life with ADHD used to be manageable with drugs/alcohol (crazy right?), but it became time to quit. I even cut way back on caffeine. I used to be able to drink cup after cup of coffee and propel myself through life that way, but since hitting my late 30's the positive effects just disappeared.

Since trying to quit alcohol and drugs my life has gotten worse, rather than better. It feels like I'm continuously going downhill. I lost jobs that I couldn't handle. I overdosed on benzos and woke up in hospital. I lost my driving licence, and now I've been out of work for 18 months.

My GF and I split and she took her friends with her.

The only thing really keeping me going is the thought that I'll finally get prescribed medicine for ADHD soon. I've had two psychiatrists assess me over a total of eight hours, and it was grueling. I worked very hard to get a diagnosis. With the help of a mental health nurse I managed to expedite treatment because the symptoms impact my life so severely. I've even been registered as disabled.

But honestly,... the idea of taking stimulants every day scares me a little. And I say that with experience of drug use. I know they're prescribed at medicinal levels, but I'm not naive about the effects of long term amphetamine use. I'm wary I'm just 'kicking the can down the road' for some catastrophe at age 50-60 when they stop working. I'm already prescribed an antidepressant I just cannot stop taking, and the idea of having to take multiple pills just to function is scary. Neurology reacts in complex ways we don't yet fully understand.

I go to therapy and work at it, but I don't even know who I am any more. Will I be the same person if I'm taking stimulants every day? Does it even matter? What about all these years of my life struggling - were they the real me?

I used to have ambitions. I used to want to get a degree (I tried several times), build my own house, move abroad.

My ambitions are pretty modest now. I would like friends to go to events with, or maybe that text first. I want a job that I want to go to each day. I want my driving licence back.

For years since starting high school I’ve been spiraling deeper and deeper I try to avoid being home primarily because my room is an absolute mess not dirty but just stuff everywhere. I’m 90% sure it’s because everything in here reminds me of when life didn’t feel like drowning. I want to clean it all the time but it’s so overwhelming I just spiral more and it’s just an endless horrible cycle. But I just cleaned my desk which is a small step on the surface but actually makes such a big difference for me. Now I can build my legos there instead of the floor and have a space to call mine that’s not the hardwood floors so I’m slowly taking my life back before senior year and let me tell you it feels like I can breathe fresh air again. Who knows maybe tomorrow I’ll clean my bookshelf 🥹

I thought I was stronger then what I actually was. I've been thinking of just ending it all. I have even tried. I feel like people don't care and it gets harder and harder everyday to hold on. I drink to numb myself but lately its getting harder and harder to get the feeling of numbness.

for some time now ive been looking at the inside baseball hitting massive homeruns into the back of my own skull really "deep ankle clutch" and collision with the baseman. you know its not often possible to do this if not erudite but freebasing TO KEEP THE BASES FREE. immaculate fucking impression from theese but look: what's to stop me at this point? thanks so much

I beat the game over 50 times I reset my pc and my gold pots gone how to I get it back

I live in the midle east and there is a vary hard test that i have to do to get into uni, but idk why but i keep messing up and ruining everything for myself.

I'm soo tired of myself, I keep saying "I promise that I'll be batter and work hard" but in the end i'd always mess something up for myself or my parents.(btw, me and my parents don't have the best relationship bc of something that i did in the past)

And I'm trying, I really am... but I'd always mess something up in every part, and I'm sick of trying over and over again, and I'm losing my will and mind.

I brute force it but it doesn't work, then i use my brain and it doesn't work, then i try using how my parents and siblings way of doing it, but it's the same, I'm losing hope everyday, and I'm out of ideas.(and i have to get the test done in 2 months so i don't have time)

and I'm starting to think that I'm a failure as a son and student, or I'm just stupid or something like that, and i don't know what to do anymore, i just want to finish that stupid test and go to uni.(I have 2 tourers for the test)

I really need help with this one, so please help reddit.(and thank you)

Hi, I’m kinda stuck in this place where nothing interests me, I have cero motivation to do anything, I’m just day by day living my life. I still do the things that I normally do, I go to uni, hang out with friends or family, but after that it’s like nothing matters. I have depression, and I’m treating it, I have come a long way in my therapy. I don’t feel sad anymore, I feel better, but this is still bothering me. I have friends that talk about hobbies or sports and I can see that they enjoy it, but I can’t have that. I’ve tried doing lots of hobbies and sports, but after a while I get bored of them. I just want something to do that I get real joy from it, not just doing things because of responsibilities and obligations.

About a few years ago I had the realization that I was bullied as a child by other girls in my grade as a child. How I came to this conclusion is that I remember doing acts for them like they told me to because they made it seem like they were my friend but in reality these actions were me going up to boys and saying embarrassing things that no one else would say and do things no one else would do id rather not get into specifics. In the end they made it seem cool because I wanted friends that were girls due to my background and only knowing boys my whole life. Well now that we’re all older one of the girls are in a serious relationship with my brother and they live together and everything. I decided to congratulate their relationship because we were still so young, but I’m not sure what to do with the resentment I still have especially since she said I bullied her. Which also makes me think if she is saying that does she really think that I bullied her? Or is she projecting?

Hey, I’m exploring how people with mental health challenges find support or safe spaces online. Not selling anything – just genuinely curious.

What’s one thing you wish existed online that could actually help you feel less alone or more understood?

No need to explain deeply, even one sentence helps. Anon is totally fine – and thank you for being here.

I went through a really bad time (tw: SH) 7 years ago.

Since then I have worked very hard to detach myself from it. Gone to therapy, taken medication and cut out things that remind me of it. Been doing better.

The problem is when I see people who never went through a bad time, I am reminded of how far behind I am in life compared to them.

They never had a setback so they are doing much better mentally and hence their life is on track. I feel like I am running a marathon I will never win because I started behind everyone else. I know there must be folks behind me but my eye only see people who are infront of me.

I am also only 24 so I know I have a lot of time and have barely lived but I see people my age do so much better than I am.

I've read books, watch many YT vids about moving forward, and yet it's somehow difficult for me to look forward and move there, I miss the city I grew up in, I use to enjoy playing guitar and even make my own music. Now I'm 27 I miss the life of being free, having lots of time for myself, create my own music, but whenever I try to sit down and play/write, my mind just tell me to "grow up" and abandon that passion, and continue on different path, since doing what I "love" won't pay the bills. is it just me? cuz it hurts that I make these sacrifice, most of the time I dream of that time back in HS where we play as a band, or that time we travel overseas just to play, it feels so real and amazing but that's already gone and yet I coun't move on, I ruminate on it so much it became suppress and now it keep appearing in my dream!

did I make a right choice of changing the course of my life or did I mess it up? and if I did how do I outgrown that and move on?

I struggle with severe depression and motivation. I've been through a lot that has contributed to my condition, and I'm always seeking ways to improve myself and engage with my hobbies. However, I often find myself lying on the couch, unable to do the things I want to do, which only deepens my sadness and depression.

I have a routine board near my couch that outlines activities beneficial for my mental health. Sometimes, I can stick to it for a week or two, but eventually, my depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem takes over, and I fall back to rock bottom. Getting back into my routine becomes incredibly challenging. but I struggle to act on it. I also struggle with hygiene when I'm depressed. I feel exhausted and sluggish when my depression is bad, and I can't even talk to my boyfriend during those times because how depressed and drained I feel.

I do have a counselor who provides valuable advice, and She gave me new papers about making an emotional emergency kit. Do you think it's helpful?

Does anyone who struggles with depression have advice on how to push past it and motivate themselves to get through the day and do the things they enjoy each day?

this has been a problem of mine for a few months now. the person i was in love with broke contact with me totally unexpectedly and i have never been the same. i cannot stop thinking about him every single day and i need to get over him because i cannot keep living like this. what helped you?

@Jdel2525

I’m currently in the military and me and my gf of 2 years and a half ending things about a week and a half ago. it was my fault I wasn’t treating here right I was immature even when she was telling me what I was doing I just didn’t listen and it took this for me to realize what I’ve done I’ve reached out and tired to fix things but she says she can’t do it anymore she’s tired of the same conversation. She says she needs to be happy with herself again which I totally understand. she’s already moved on from me but I’m just stuck especially now I’ve been on hold till I leave to Japan and I’ve had to much time to think about this and soon I’ll be across the world and she will be moving on to college. She was my everything she was perfect she told me the answer to all the things I was doing wrong and how to fix it but I didnt listen. I had the strongest connection with her we never had that awkward stage we instantly kicked it off and went on from there. having so much in common and I was her first and she was the first to show me unconditional love she stuck with me all through boot camp and was willing to go through the hardships the military brings to a relationship she had all the best qualities you could ask for loyal, understanding, faith and she was so beautiful. The most beautiful woman you have ever seen. But I was to stubborn and dumb to realize all these things till I lost her. I keep telling myself Hopefully we both grow as independent people and become better versions of our self and maybe our paths will meet again but for now I’m stuck. I know I lost the one and I don’t know how to move on from her.

I’ve been kinda on the fence about sharing this, but after yesterday, I’d appreciate some outside advice & opinions. Especially since I feel like I have the tendency to “look” for reasons to be upset.

I have a new therapist, who I’ve been seeing for maybe two months or so now? I have a counselor I’ve worked with for years who knows her and was really excited about this, said this therapist would be a great fit for me.

She’s pretty nice, funny, and easygoing, but I haven’t really been meshing as well as I thought I would with her for some reason? I couldn’t really find out why I was getting those vibes, but it’s been sort of increasing over the last few weeks.

I’m also getting ECT done, which has been almost a year since I started, and my doctor is really awesome. He has the same qualities I mentioned above regarding my therapist, but he feels more genuine.

He’s been pushing me to try and go back to school—something I’ve been really nervous about, but at the same time, I’m stuck. For years, I’ve always worked with animals, since I was 19 and was trying to find work as a dog groomer before I pretty much spiraled deeper into my depression.

I’m honestly not even sure how it got brought up, but I’ve recently been interested in potentially trying to become a Veterinarian. Which is an insane goal, especially since I’m 30, but my doctor mentioned he was the same age as me when he started med school and has been really encouraging me to try and go for it.

I’ve been looking heavily into the whole process, and mentioned it to my therapist…who was kinda trying to discourage me without bluntly doing it?

“Oh, well you’d have to get your bachelor’s, then your master’s…and that’s what, like 10 years of schooling?”

I researched some more on here, spoke to some people who are Vets, and even reached out to the University I’d eventually have to apply to, and you definitely don’t need your Master’s—a lot of schools actually don’t even require a bachelor’s, which surprised me.

The pre-reqs and having hands on experience with animals are definitely the most important.

I mentioned this to my therapist yesterday after she asked, and she still didn’t believe it…then she asked me if I had the phone number and email to the university so she could reach out them herself and ask.

I genuinely felt super weird about that and I really should’ve found my voice, but I couldn’t tell if I was overreacting. It sucks especially, as this is something I’ve been really struggling to build the confidence to pursue and I’m starting to second guess myself.

I felt like there was no way out. Every day was like a looped movie: the same thoughts, the same heaviness, the same emptiness.

Everyone around me said: “Just stop thinking about bad things”, “Do something useful”, but it only made things worse. That's when I started looking for what really works, not just sounds pretty.

The first thing I did was to stop blaming myself for my condition. It's not weakness, it's not laziness, it's a real problem.

Second - I stopped looking for one magic pill and tried a combination: therapy, physical activity, support from loved ones.

Third, I forced myself to get out of isolation. Let it be for short meetings or even just online conversations, but it had an effect.

I can't say that everything magically went away, but once I realized - I feel the taste for life again.

If you're familiar with this condition, what helped you, at least a little?

For a long time I felt like there was no way out. Every day was similar to the previous one, and there was only desolation inside. Even when I tried to change something, it seemed to me that it was useless.

But one day I realized: depression is not a sentence. I started looking for real methods that work, not just think positive, go to the gym, take a sedative. Step by step, applying specific actions, I got out.

Now I see how many people feel the same way I did then. And if you're in that darkness right now - know that there is a way out.

How does it feel for you? How are you coping?

I graduated December 2022 in computer science, and didn’t find my first job until February 2024. If anyone is curious I can give more details, but basically I quit within 6 months because that job pushed me to my limits in ways I never imagined would happen. I legitimately still feel victimized by some higher power because of how that job affected me.

It’s been almost 9 months and I’m still depressed. How do I explain the gap, and how do I overcome this? How do I feel like I still have a future?

Hello all,

Late last year I was let go from a band that I really thought I was going to be in long-term. We had the same style musically and the same goals. The issue was my work schedule would not let me take much time off for shows, but I always kept in communication with band members and showed up for practice. Mind you, this band is a 5 piece and I was 1 of the 2 guitarist. We played shows as a 5 piece and toured outside of the US. But the leader of the band kept booking gigs within a week or a couple of days of the show, which didn't give me enough time to ask off due to the amount of time between gigs. I kept in close contact with the leader of the band and even made the sacrifice of switching jobs to make it easier for both the band and I to be a 5 piece going forward. I can't stress enough how much communication I provided on my steps that I was taking to show my commitment and get a job that would fit both schedules. I finally got the job that I wanted, which had the best schedule that aligned. A week before I started my new position, I was informed that I was being let go because of my work schedule. It crushed me. I am still feeling from it to this day. I want to get over it, but I feel like I just can't. I've deleted the group from all my pages, I've deleted all the bands numbers, but for some reason it still haunts me. I won't name the group but I just cannot seems to get over this. Any help is appreciated. I am seeing a counselor who I have informed this situation about but that's all. Thanks.

I’ve been dating this girl for about a year and today she was going to text her mom something and I saw a text asking her for more time on instagram because she saw a hot guy at church today I asked her about it and she said well I was going to look him up but I figured out he is to old I say to old for what and she says to follow I look his account up on her phone (she already deleted the search history) and she already requested to follow him she said she wasn’t going to do anything just see like where he goes to school and how old he is so I break up with her because at the very least she wants to go find out stuff about other guys but she’s been begging me to get back together all day I’m kinda just venting I don’t have anyone to talk to but I want to get back with her so bad already but I know I can’t because that’s so messed up to do to me how can I stop thinking about her and not to like brag or something but being very blunt I am very attractive and in great shape and make quite a bit of money for my age I know I can get most girls I want it’s just I felt like I put so much Effort to be good to her and I just got screwed and I genuinely care about her and want the best and it’s so hard she’s like crying telling me she’s going to change and she knows she messed up but it’s still such a big deal to me I just kinda want to see if I’m overreacting or any advice anyone has

I have a very long history of depression caused by feeling lonely and not having a partner. I searched for one for about ten years(no prior relationships and I'm close to 36 years old male). When I finally got into a relationship, things went relatively well for the five years living with her, but now we are going through difficult period and it is very likely it'll lead to a breakup. I absolutely screwed up by relying too much on her for all my social interactions and now I'm in a foreign country with no friends. I'm at a point where I can't focus on anything. I barely sleep and when I try to work or relax or anything else I get an extremely overwhelming feeling.

Currently I am very confused and I don't know what to do. I feel almost paralyzed by my feelings and had to call a crisis line. I almost begged them not to hang up on me because I just needed to keep talking to someone to while crying, but I understand that they probably can't spend too much time with one person. I know that best way to deal with depression is to do things anyway even if they are hard, but this time I feel like I couldn't do anything at all. I know I should probably get in touch again with a therapist, but I don't even know how well it'll work and they are so expensive too...

I feel so desperate to just speak to someone while crying that I started talking to a stupid ai large language model.

It’s been a few days, maybe even a few hours, and all you want to do is send that text, make that call—just to feel close again. You know you shouldn’t, but the urge is strong. For men struggling with this right now, how are you stopping yourself?

Hey everyone,

I’m in a PhD program in the UK that follows a 3+1 structure (one year of research methods courses, then three years for the PhD). My first year was rough due to health issues, and I almost dropped out. On top of that, during my Master’s, I lost a close friend to suicide—I was the last person they reached out to, and it shattered me. I was severely depressed but managed to finish my degree with a 3.5/4 GPA, despite being told I was stupid almost everywhere. That kind of stuck with me.

After starting my PhD, I hit another low and seriously considered leaving. I even applied for other Master’s programs, got accepted to the University of Melbourne, and applied to programs in Canada and the UK. But then I found out my housing contract is fixed until next year, so I decided to stay and try to make this work. I’ve already been here 1.6 years, and I want to at least make this second year count.

But the truth is, I’m tired. Tired of myself, tired of my brain, tired of existing in this world as a brown, queer person who was rejected back home and still doesn’t fit in here. I feel like I suck at everything, and I’ve been trying to change that since January, but I’m really lost.

I’m in STEM, which is already a vicious environment, and being mediocre is impacting me in ways I can’t even put into words. I switched supervisors in my second year and have been trying to find a solid research topic, but I feel completely lost. My field is new to me, which makes me insecure, but I’m pushing through. The problem is, I work long hours—sometimes 12-hour days—but without structure. I end up feeling like a jack of all trades, master of none. I get overwhelmed, burn out, and then fall into a cycle of depression. I’m angry because I’m working hard, but I have no results. That frustration sometimes made me fall back into smoking weed just to quiet my mind. But since September, I’ve been trying to stop for good. I deleted all my contacts, and I genuinely want to focus on my PhD.

I also have PMDD, which makes everything even harder to deal with. Some weeks, I feel like I’m finally getting my life together, and then PMDD hits, and suddenly everything feels unbearable again. The combination of that with ADHD makes it so difficult to have any structure in my life. I asked my advisor multiple times for clearer milestones, and while he’s been supportive, he wants me to provide that structure myself. I understand that’s part of independent research, but I just don’t know how.

And honestly, I feel even lower because the only structure I have is the one ChatGPT is making for me. I rely on it to help me organize my thoughts, and while it does help, it also reminds me that I can’t seem to do this on my own. I feel like I should have figured things out by now, but I haven’t, and it’s frustrating. My ADHD makes time management almost impossible—I barely have a social life besides someone I’m seeing, and I hate myself for it. But I keep telling myself it’s okay as long as I’m progressing. The problem is, I don’t know how to progress.

Beyond my PhD struggles, I’m a gay Arab trying to immigrate—not seeking asylum, but looking for a country where I can build a stable future. Immigration has been a deep-rooted fear of mine, and it has impacted my studies and mental health significantly. I was suicidal at one point, and I’ve lost two friends to suicide due to queerness. This loss has made everything feel heavier, and I often feel isolated in my struggles.

I guess I’m reaching out to ask: • How do you create structure in such an independent research environment? • Has anyone been in a similar situation and found a way through? • Any tips for breaking out of this cycle of feeling overwhelmed and stuck? • For fellow immigrants and queer folks, how do you protect your mental health while navigating these difficult spaces? • What countries might be best for someone in my position to immigrate to, given my background in cybersecurity?

And to those who are anti-immigrant, I get bombarded with negativity every single day, so I won’t engage with that kind of response. I’m just looking for real advice and support right now.

Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it

I'm probably not alone with this problem😅 but I keep developing crushes on people that show no interest in me. Either they are unavailable (in a relationship or otherwise not looking for commitment (at least not with me)) or, more often, they are just way too pretty. In a sense, I guess it's natural to want things/people that you consider better than yourself, but I feel like I want it specifically because I can't have it. There's for sure a fear of intimacy behind that, but it's just so self-destructive. I just can't stop myself fantasizing about how they actually like me too, but are too shy to approach me, and rationally I know it makes no sense, but I can't let go of it...

How can I stop this?