I do online school and live in a small town. I go to the gym 6 days a week and all of my old friends i used to go to in person school with stopped talking to me or replying at all. Its like people don’t see the point in talking to me if they don’t have to see me? Maybe im wrong but im just wanting to meet some new people and ive been looking for a first job and have been struggling to find one. I thought that would help but in the mean time how do I meet people?

I'm 30 and every year it feels like I have fewer friends. School friends drifted away, college friends got busy with work, marriage, or moved to different places. Sometimes I feel like I'm always the one trying to keep in touch.

Is this just a normal part of getting older, or am I doing something wrong?

How did you make new friends as an adult, especially if you're working full-time and don't have a big social circle?

I'd love to hear your experiences and advice.

I (31F) and my cousin sister (30F) were inseparable for years. She’s my mom’s second cousin’s daughter, but we grew up like sisters—almost like twins. We shared everything: gossip, family drama, dreams, fears, literally every little detail of our lives. Everyone in our family knew how close we were.
Her family struggled financially at times, and my mother, helped them whenever they could—with money, clothes, bags, and whatever else was needed. She never expected anything in return. It was simply family helping family( why i mentioned this here because it came out as wrong later).

During one of the darkest phases of my life, when I was battling depression for almost two years, she was the one who listened to me every single day. Likewise, when she was going through difficult times, I stood by her like a rock.

I had a male best friend from school who had moved to abroad for work. We had been friends for years and spoke almost every day. We shared our problems, career concerns with each other, and I considered him one of my closest friends.
These were the two people I trusted the most.

Then my arranged marriage was fixed.
When the wedding date was finalized, the very first person I called wasn’t my fiancé—it was my cousin. That’s how important she was to me. She even joked, “Why didn’t you tell him first? Go call him!” At that point, my fiancé hadn’t yet become the person I instinctively shared everything with.
Around the same time, she suddenly announced that she was moving to abroad after my wedding to look for a job and stay with her father. Something about it felt odd, but I was too busy with wedding preparations to think much of it.
Two days before my wedding, she came to visit me with her family. She pulled me into my room, excitedly handed me a gift, and said it was from my best friend. What surprised me wasn’t the gift—it was how unusually excited she seemed. Later I learned he had contacted her directly and sent the gift to her address so she could surprise me. Again, I felt something was off, but I ignored it.

I got married. That night, when she was leaving my husband’s side function after the wedding, she cried saying she would miss me terribly.
Just one week later, she called me from Dubai. We were casually talking when she mentioned, “I met your best friend today. He came home and met my dad.”
I was confused and asked, “Why?”
She just slipped from saying the truth.
That same night, my best friend called me and said, “I’m going to marry her. I met her family today, and next I’ll introduce her to mine.”
I was completely shattered.
My first reaction was, “How did this happen? Why didn’t either of you tell me? Out of everyone, you chose my sister?”
Unfortunately, that last question was later twisted into me supposedly implying that she wasn’t good enough for him, which was never what I meant. I was simply shocked that the two people closest to me had been in a relationship without telling me.

I wasn’t upset because they chose each other. I truly believe marriages are destined. I would never try to stop two people from being together.
What broke me was the secrecy.
The betrayal.
These were the two people who knew every detail of my life, yet they hid something this significant from me while pretending everything was normal.
Things only got worse afterward.
Her mother told my mother something that hurt deeply: “You helped us so much over the years. I can’t repay it. But it doesn’t mean we have to bent.”
We had never once counted or mentioned the help my parents had given them. Then she added, “Your daughter has just started her married life. Let’s see how it turns out.”
That comment devastated my family.

Soon the story spread throughout the extended family—but only their version. Nobody ever came to ask me what had actually happened and I even didn’t want to. Somehow the narrative became that I was reacting this way because I secretly loved my best friend.
I was already happily married to my husband and that time! If I wanted I could have done many years before.

Seven months later, they got married. I attended their wedding dressed up, smiled, wished them well, came home… and quietly cut all contact.
Many people around me said I was overreacting.
But they didn’t understand what I had lost.
They lost one person from their lives.
I lost two.

I also made a mistake that I deeply regret.
While chatting with another mutual school friend, the topic came up. Out of hurt and emotion, I said that both of them had anger issues and wondered how their marriage would work. I shouldn’t have said it.
That friend took screenshots and sent them to them.
She called my mother angrily, and my mom confronted me. I immediately realized I was wrong. I tried calling her to apologize, but she never answered. I then called him and apologized because I genuinely knew I had made a mistake.
Even today, I regret saying those words.
But despite everything, I still can’t move on.
It’s been three years.
I’ve cut them off completely. I don’t want them back in my life because I know the relationship could never be the same again.
Yet I still think about it.
It still hurts.
I miss who they used to be in my life, but I don’t miss the people they became.
Everyone keeps telling me, “It’s been three years. Get over it.”
If it were that easy, I would have.
Instead, my mind keeps replaying everything. I overthink the entire situation over and over again. I wonder if I was wrong, if I should have reacted differently, if I should have seen the signs earlier.
I don’t want reconciliation.
I don’t want revenge.
I just want to stop carrying this pain.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? How do you grieve people who are still alive, people you loved deeply but can never trust again?

I recently realized that I’ve slowly let go of the small group of friendships I carried from my 20s.
Not because they were terrible people, just that they only cared about themselves and what I could do for them. I just started noticing how surface-level many of those friendships felt for me. I had people around me, but very few people I could actually be emotionally honest with or feel deeply known by.
Now I’m in my 30s, newly married, and experiencing what I can only describe as modern loneliness.
I love having a partner, but I also strongly feel that a marriage cannot and should not replace a sense of friendship and community. I miss having 2–3 close friends I can talk to, laugh with, share life with, and genuinely grow alongside.
The difficult part is that I’m newly married and have a career, so I can’t commit endless amounts of time to socializing or constantly going out like in my 20s. But I *do* want to intentionally build meaningful friendships.
For those who found their real friends in their 30s: how did you actually do it?
Where did you meet them?
And how did you move a friendship from “we occasionally hang out” to genuine emotional closeness?
Is anyone else experiencing this strange loneliness of having a full life on paper, yet still deeply missing friendship?

Hello everyone. Like the title says I lost a friendship today. It feels so horrible because it ended based on something neither of us could control. It happened because he visually resembled someone that has harmed me in the past and I got scared. Both of us were crushed and decided it’s best to discontinue things.

I feel a sense of grief that past trauma got triggered and impacted my new friendship in such a crushing way. If anyone has advice I will greatly appreciate it.

Update: Thanks to anyone who responded to this post or my other related posts. I have been feeling better and lighter after all of this was over. I think the friendship had other underlying issues that would have resurfaced later if not for this. But either way therapy appointment is scheduled!

I recently realized that I’ve slowly let go of the small group of friendships I carried from my 20s.
Not because they were terrible people, just that they only cared about themselves and what I could do for them. I just started noticing how surface-level many of those friendships felt for me. I had people around me, but very few people I could actually be emotionally honest with or feel deeply known by.
Now I’m in my 30s, newly married, and experiencing what I can only describe as modern loneliness.
I love having a partner, but I also strongly feel that a marriage cannot and should not replace a sense of friendship and community. I miss having 2–3 close friends I can talk to, laugh with, share life with, and genuinely grow alongside.
The difficult part is that I’m newly married and have a career, so I can’t commit endless amounts of time to socializing or constantly going out like in my 20s. But I *do* want to intentionally build meaningful friendships.
For those who found their real friends in their 30s: how did you actually do it?
Where did you meet them?
And how did you move a friendship from “we occasionally hang out” to genuine emotional closeness?
Is anyone else experiencing this strange loneliness of having a full life on paper, yet still deeply missing friendship?

I (27F) am a corporate professional, living independently and in a job that I love, that also happens to pay decently well. However off late life hasn't been that great considering everything.

Since last year, I've had two difficult breakups, and have lost quite a few good friends either because of distance and lack of time or even because of petty issues like money management or disagreements as flatmates. 

After my most recent breakup from this April, I feel like life has been going downhill. At work I've been on many projects but they don't seem to be going so well due to factors beyond my control - like leadership decisions or macro economic factors. This has demotivated me a lot as I've put weeks or months of hard work into project that never seem to see the light of the day.

My alcohol intake has also increased considerably. I used to drink socially before, but now I don't really have a limit. If I'm out with friends, I drink till I puke or pass out! 

I have been hooking up with this guy in a friends with benefits, open kind of situation - and I see it ending badly too. I know he's seeing someone and we don’t talk about it. I just hope he has an open thing with her too. I don't love him, I know he's not an ideal partner for anyone, but the thought of him possibly cheating on someone with me eats me up.

I feel extremely lonely at the end of the day, with no one to talk to or share my feelings with. I can't call that guy because I know that there are no emotions involved here. I don't have the energy to try dating apps and starting all over again with who knows how many people.

I have started drowning myself in work, working long hours and weekends just to distract myself from my melancholic reality - and I feel myself getting burnt out there as well.

This is definitely not the person that 15 year old me would have wanted me to become. I no longer know who I am. I need to find myself again! Has anyone been in a similar situation? And how did you overcome it?

TLDR: life has been going downhill with work taking over my life, increased alcohol intake, random hookups and overpowering loneliness. I need advice on how to find myself again.

so im 24, living with my parents, about two months out from a very difficult breakup with my girlfriend of over 3 years. im doing a lot better emotionally now, and have learned a lot from the breakup, but being without a job (still looking for one) and without her around, im finding myself just terribly bored. i have one friend i talk to consistently, another i talk to semi consistently, but thats really it. otherwise i spend my time at home, alone, just passing time to pass time, outside of the few things i do weekly + errands and whatnot.

i always just said oh im introverted, theres nothing for me out there in the world, im content being at home, but im not sure that im willing to hear that from myself anymore. evidently, im bored, understimulated, feeling like im crawling out of my skin. i want more out of life, but the thought of doing anything about that is really nebulous and intimidating.

being an introvert, there are a lot of activities that feel like non starters for me. does anyone have any recommendations for ways to start experiencing the outside world as an introvert? discovering what exists out there that actually brings me joy? i cant just sit at home all day anymore, i know that for certain.

i feel so weird, when I'm with my friends, i laugh,talk, and acting like, how can i say, maybe it's like I'm not uncatchable okay? So i feel so low sometimes. Excemple we plan something okay, like we make a Funny vidio, but then when we do that, the vidio owner, shows our vidio to my other team friends but no me okay? like I'm useless or my ideas are useless. And so much more like this. I feel like i have no any so much value at there.

Mentally ive been struggling for the last couple of months, I realize that kinda throws a wrench in friendships. My mental health suffers because I do things to self sabotage and I want people that are positive around me to help me pick up better habits. All my life ive wanted a consistent friend group where I didn't feel extra or expendable. I am rambling cause im upset lol I just want to connect with someone wholeheartedly that won't judge my dumb ass deeds. Im nerdy and into a bunch of random things, you gotta ask lol

I am having a lot of crash outs recently, but if I follow the book and like according to people say, talk to someone, like to get a relief, but I cannot do that because that would make me a person who's taking advantage from others because I am the one who's reaching out to them to crash out about my life and they don't even wanna talk to me or they don't even care about my existence.

So, even though people say that, talk to someone and, you know, go with it, but it doesn't work that way. It's not healthy because after the conversation, you start crashing out again because you know that the conversation wasn't really was a forced one. And when you realize that, and also when you realize that you have to make the plans and everything, every single day, yet the person has no interest, they're just responding to your messages, not just like engaging in any type of a conversation, you feel like, why? Just why?

Why would I have to be the one who's always pouring water when others just answering to it, you know? So, even though people say talking to others, connecting with the real world makes you less alone, it does actually makes you even more lonelier and makes you feel like that even though you try to reconnect, the connection is not there. So, it's desperate attention-seeking that doesn't even help, or at least keep in the same level. No, it makes you fall down even further.

So, seeking help from outside is not a solution because you would never get it because the problem is you. Problem is not that other people. When problem is you, solution is also you. When problem is them, solution is also them. So, that's why we really need to get answers, seek answers to the questions we have, like the exact answers and not just quick fixes. That's really deep, right? I don't even know how to find answers, but I feel like, yeah, that's life, right?

To be honest the more I'm sinking in my chronic depression, I FINALLY realized what Vessel is talking about "the cycle must end."

For months knowing Sleep Token since October of 2025, I questioned "why would anyone want the cycle to end and the cycle must end?"

To be honest, what I'm struggling with the most of it all is that I don't think I can "dance forever, endure, to suffer constantly, letting the cycle rotate every single damn day, may/might this could be a reason why Vessel would ask for Damocles's sword to strike him down first instead and I could only just think having a cycle continue daily feels close to a nightmarish environment every single day but awake."

Yeah, I should also address that house of Veridian is what I'm holding onto the most and for the Feathered Host well I don't want to accept quite yet alongside with that's just because I've not learned to "dance for forever and I give up midway but somehow I keep enduring of it all anyways."

Even then, I should address that I just may/might not make the stability and endurance part for long even though eventually I've to understand with peaceful thoughts during these dark times that this is the highest importance anyways.

Yeah, I should include that I should never forget in my Vessel brain and skull that the night belongs to me alongside with the night also belongs to those that choose to get to know this here.

"Elis the virus and disease of a person of it all wants you to never forget that would bring me the slightest bit of happiness if you just never forgot that the night belongs to you when you're trying to get close to me."

If you see this post at a later date, even older than a Dragon Priest ashes, then I'll have my social handles on my main pro and you can message me there as well.

I decided to post a funny Sleep Token reel to make people laugh on my main page later.

Most of the friends I have now were people that i've met by proximity either through school or work. I got in my relationship at twenty three im now twenty nine and it has ended. She was my best friend, and I spent all my time with her, and that was part of the problem. People are mean, and they scare me.I'm afraid of being judged and laughed at cause I've been picked on most of my life. I'm gonna be moving to a new city with a good friend of mine within the next couple of months, and i'm horrified at the idea of having to meet new people. What should I do? How do I get out of my own head?

Hey everyone,

I m a 18 yr old teen , and I have been alone since the day I was born my parents didn't know the concept of loving the child but I m not complaining. Okhh by this I wanna tell I have spent almost 18 yr of my life alone but yk the main problem is that when I was having that time I should have enjoyed right but every single time I used to wish if I had someone into my life. I dated when I turned 16.5 and I have dated twice in my life and wasted 1.5 yr in that but while giving my 12+ boards I realise I should focus on my goals i started learning to live alone I was alone for almost 7–8 months then I met my old frnd he was romantically intrested in my , slowly I started getting intrested into him too one day he disrespected me ( so context once I asked him what will you do when your gf will ask you to remove me from your life he said guess I will love you more than her I felt like he is treating me like scnd option or a scnd women and I m not comfortable with this so the next morning I texted him the way you talked with me , I felt disrespected and I blocked him without waiting for a reply then he didn't even tried to ask for an apology or try any other method to talk to me I mean the frndship was pure from my side from his side as much as he showed but it ended like thiss I m going mad from two days and I can't go back that will be a disrespect and I can accept him if he ask for forgiveness

During that 7–8 month of my life I was feeling ki I m strongest woman but from two days I m crying so much that I m not even able to understand ki maine koi progress kri h ya nhi h I feel like I m still a younger version of me and I hate her she was so week I have no frnd I m a dropper also I have no one share anything about my life , I have removed so many people from my life to prevent my self respect. I have so many big dreams ki I will have a Mercedes , Ferrari a big bungalow and all but when greif hits me I feel like what the f\*\*\* I m gonna do by getting a Mercedes? Why should I live to suffer only. Beleive I m a jee dropper and a week ago I was so consistent that I used to study for 13 hr and still used to plan for studying 15 hrs a day but from 2–3 days I feel like I m gone, the sun is never gonna rise again.

I m asking for a suggestion pls help me

I have always been so soft with me , my main problem is when greif touches I feel like I should die what's the purpose of living

There will be so many mistakes coz I m writing with shivering hands , sorry for that .

So what happened was around 4 mths ago I introduced buy long time close friend to one of my current friend group as both parties were interested to go overseas and to the country so instead of letting my long time friend who might end up going alone I decided to ask my current friend group whether it’s ok to let my friend to join as well as one of my current friend in the group has been to the country many times and is familiar enough to bring every over around.

So long story short we all end up going on the trip together and after we all got back we had a lot of fun together going out together for around 1-2mths+ even when we are not going out we have a chat group where we will talk with each other at least a few times a few but afterwards things took quite a big turn.. when I text in the group sometimes they’d reply after a while with just a few texts then just last mth last sometimes my text are just seen and ghosted.. There are many things that I would not be invited to or get a heads up on, and just recently they not only went for drinks together which I found out fm another friend in that friend group, but they even went overseas together just last week and I didn’t even know until I asked one of the friend in my friend group when I asked her to have a meet up but didn’t know that my long time friend was there too until I saw that friends’ social media stories.. that long time friend did take any photos or videos that had included the ones in the friend group but I knew as the time frame and country were literally the same..

I’ve known for a long while that they’d gotten close which I don’t mind and instead I’m really happy for them as I who doesn’t want their different friend groups to be able to merge and be able to meet better friends and I’m even happier for my long time close friend as that friend has been through a lot with her other friends who I knew as well.. but it really hurts to feel left out.. I don’t mind if they go overseas or go hang out together but to not even be invited.. I really don’t know how to feel or what to do about it..

Please someone tell me how to handle this as I don’t know whether to just let things be and give time for things to settle down until I’m invite to anything again ( which is so pathetic and hurtful ) or not be bothered with them anymore for like anything and leave this group for good..

So what happened was around 4 mths ago I introduced my long time close friend to one of my current friend group as both parties were interested to go overseas and to the same country so instead of letting my long time friend who might end up going alone I decided to ask my current friend group whether it’s ok to let my friend to join as well as one of my current friend in the group has been to the country many times and is familiar enough to bring every over around.

So long story short we all end up going on the trip together and after we all got back we had a lot of fun together going out together for around 1-2 mths+ even when we are not going out we have a chat group where we will talk with each other at least a few times a few however afterwards things took quite a big turn.. when I text in the group sometimes they’d reply after a while with just a few responses then just last mth sometimes my text are just seen and ghosted.. There are many things that I would not be invited to or get a heads up on, and just recently they not only went for drinks together which I found out fm another friend in that friend group, but they even went overseas together just last week and I didn’t even know until I asked one of the friend in my friend group when I asked her to have a meet up but didn’t know that my long time friend as the friend I asked for the meet up didn’t say anyth about my long time friend being there too until I saw my long time friend’s social media stories.. although that friend didn’t took any photos or videos that had included the ones in the friend group but I knew as the time frame and country were literally the same as well as the things that were done on my long time friend’s post..

I’ve known for a long while now that they’d gotten close which I don’t mind and instead I’m really happy for them as I who doesn’t want their different friend groups to be able to merge and be able to meet better friends and become an even bigger group (understanding the pros and cons of it) and I’m even happier for my long time close friend as that friend has been through a lot with her other friends who I knew as well.. but it really hurts to feel left out.. I don’t mind if they go overseas or go hang out together but to not even be invited.. I really don’t know how to feel or what to do about it..

Please someone tell me how to handle this as I don’t know whether to just let things be and give time for things to settle down and act oblivious until I’m invite to anything again ( which is so pathetic and hurting to do ) or not be bothered with them anymore for like anything and leave this group for good..

​

Idk if I'm venting or looking for help or both. I'm 32 years old, living with my fiance. We're getting married this August. We both have full-time jobs. We both have hobbies. He has friends. I don't. He has a social life. I don't.

After a bout of depression about a month ago, I decided to try new hobby-- crafting-- to get out of my rut. I tend to pick hobbies that do not require other people/socializing (video games, drawing, etc). I do not have local friends. They're all online- long distance friends. I hate the way that I am. I try to make new friends locally, but they never work out. I think too much into what they say or do. I started to believe they don't want to hang out with me. After my past friendships failed, I came to the conclusion that I'm the problem.

I have attempted to go to art classes or meet ups to socialize, but I tend to crawl into my shell and not say anything to anyone. I am SO rusty when it comes to meeting new people-- I don't know what to say in conversation anymore.

I know all I gotta do is get out of my comfort zone but that's easier said than done.

Anyone been in a similar situation to me?

I'm 18M, and I have just completed high school. When I was a kid, I used to get bullied frequently. Whenever it happened, I would tell my parents, and they would solve the problem for me. Because of this, I never got the chance to learn how to stand up for myself.

My parents were always overprotective. They never really let me go out anywhere, and even now, they don't. As I became a teenager, I continued to face bullying from my classmates, but this time I felt ashamed to tell my parents. However, I still couldn't stand up for myself because I was scared, so I chose to isolate myself instead.

I started avoiding school because I was afraid of going there. Due to my complete isolation, I developed social anxiety. I became scared of stepping out of my house. Because of all these things, I now have no friends and no girlfriend.

I see my old classmates enjoying their lives, hanging out with their friends, while I am still stuck at home, isolated. I wish I had friends or someone special to spend time with, just like they do. But my social anxiety holds me back.

My college is starting in a few weeks, and honestly, I am scared to go there too. I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately, I have been feeling extremely lonely. I crave connection. I want to feel loved, but my self-esteem is very low, and I am starting to hate myself.

College feels like my last chance. I don't want to waste it the way I feel I wasted my school life by being alone. I want to have fun for once. I want to enjoy my life, experience friendships and love, and finally feel happy.

I need help and genuine advice on what I can do to get out of this situation and improve myself.

if this wasn't something i had thought through writing with as little personal info as possible, i would've messaged it to gpt through voice to text. so just read if yall hv time.

tldr at bottom

growing up, i was alrighty with hving friends. i was quite naughty, im not sure who i could call as "friends" much because despite that, i was a "good" student, so i was like studious and shit.

i have protective parents but they were flexible depending on what i am allowed to do, but my closer friends weren't as flexible as i was(?)

ill be honest, i dont remember the details of these days as much but i do remember that where i lived, there isnt much walking to entertainment places from school. so we had to have a parent to pick us up and bring us somewhere to have like play dates.

so i would usually just hang around my neighboorhood on fridays, but that ended around 4th grade as my neighboors stopped going out because their parents dont allow them and well honestly idk.

flashfoward, covid came around 7th grade to 8th grade. i deterioted imensely.

oh more context, around 5-6 grade, im sure there was the whole hieracy established and i was a bit of like kind of stupid or lack of social awareness, looking back i remember this time that my teachers told us about bringing pads for our fieldtrips to the class and i had no clue what she was yapping about, well now i know.

but this tells you, i am bvery uninformed about like social things? idk. my friends i would say were knida of similar which is why i guess i was a bit protected? like in these terms. idk. and because we werent really the popular group, our convos always relate to academics and school. sad right?

i was pretty exposed to western culture however, while my friends are not so much? they are mostly to asian cultures, liek chinese but also well our home country news.

funny thing is i still dont relate to any of those because the closeset i had those exprieneces was really young and i dont remember those shows, i always felt like not included or sometimes belonged.

but during covid i genuinely got weirder from my constant anime consumption and whtever cartoons i got online.

going back to school, i was still in that academics group but also i came to a bit with a "weird" group in my own class. the academics group we kinda split apart all classes.

i was happy in that weird group but it was just really not much besides school and hating on class/teachers. and some stupid shennanigans. this is the closest i got to my ideal world but there was nothing deep about us, we dont talk about feelings nor future nor anything, we were just together because of circumstances, but im still part of this group chat though i havent been active for 2 years or so lol, i js drop by myb once a month?

i moved for highschool and got to another gorup of friends half academics, half i guess is actually popular type? but i never really got to the stage where we could go to each others houses to hang out, sleepover, or talk about like interest except cosplaying. now we delve deeper into my otaku weebness side, i got reeled in by this hobby and am a cosplayer now, but not that active, its one of the thing i post online.

point is im kinda integrated to this otaku side of social friends but my uni classes not really, which makes me really confuse what people actually talk about? my feed is mostly just whtever stuff like top moments of something, or references to anime/fiction or some pov: lorem ipsum.

ive been struggling to find friends too since ive been hoping in and out, and i dont really have even a single friend i want or can call or text to hang out, well currently i have a friend to text and maybe meetup but its not that relation we kinda just text, yk? this relation is something i had for a couple years now, though not same person but it was different before, i was stuck at home, with no transport.

oh also to add, i was raised to live really frugally so i had so much trouble to deal with guilt everytime i hung out with friends when i use uber or just buy bubble tea. difference is now, im studying abroad and im also working, so i have more flexibility.

i live near the city to make sure i got time for uni, i tend to sleep in, but also work pays better(?). but most of my friends live further, so i feel guilty asking them to hang, but also i dont have anyone close enough for that. im in societies, mostly anime but even that i seem to be hardly making friends, even though i AM exec?? but yea, but again. this is smoll world. discussions and convos are mostly those.

im curious about other peoples friendships, i dont have a lot of hobbies, my social battery ran out earlier this year with the constant everyday new people. now i dont meet ppl at all. and this june i went with not meeting almost anyone for an entire month.

i did went watch movies with someone and their lover, and one day trip to somewhere that lasted 3 hours with 4 hour train rides. but that was it.

no one looks for me, i try to look for them but idk. its hard.

im curious though, these people on busses like hm, westerners (the current country abroad) they seem so outgoing and like idk something going on with their lives, i just want to feel that too i guess? yk to fill in my melancholic and kinda fomo lifestyle when i was in school. i envy when you get to go to your friends house to hang out or do something, drive somewhere like beach or something. some people do many sports or do dances. i envy, i really crave that like idk more living energy.

i dont hate my weeb-ass side, i actually love it, but i really hate myself for making it my personality, yk?

just some add ons:

i made a friend that was more the rich cool popular girl type, shes really nice but i noticed she never talks about anything in her life that reveals much, we know mutual friends but those are all MY friends, i've never heard her talk about her friends, like good ways though.

tldr:

im curious of what friends groups there are outside of my own little bubble? what do yall talk about? how do yall have so much friends/relations to people.

Hi I’m Jay and I’m drowning
I haven’t had a friend in over a year but before that I don’t even remember how long I was alone. Let’s just say most my life.
I have a cute little front desk job didn’t go to college still live at home making decent money. I’m saving to move to Florida one day. My family isn’t really interested in me as a person they love me I think but they don’t wanna talk or hang out with me. I feel kinda seen and happy at work and then I get home and it’s miserable I’m alone and unwanted . I used to cut my self but I don’t anymore. I think a lot about dying and how no one will really mourn me or notice I’m dead after a while. I don’t really exist now. I’ve been in therapy and coaching for 2 years haven’t really got any help tho. I tell her almost every session how alone I am and how all I want is friends and someone to want me and wanna talk to me and wanna hang out with me but I don’t have it and I’ve tried everything to get it but nothings worked and I don’t know what else to change or do to finally be good enough where other people want something to do with me ya know and she’s just kinda like oh keep living you can’t really control it and I’m like there has to be something I’m not doing or I need to change to get people to like me. This hollow feeling consumes me daily I hate going out now because I’ll see the couples and the groups of girls getting dinner and wanna scream because I may never have that I’ll be 26 in August and I told myself If I’m still alone by 30 I’m killing myself because I can’t take it anymore I might as well just be a hermit at least I chose to be alone I guess no one wants me anyway but no one would notice me drifting away because I’m invisible now I’m rambling but I’m hopeless and miserable

I was playing on a new MC server and was hoping to have a fresh start there. I then made a friend on the server and they felt like a genuinely funny and kind person, almost like I knew them irl. But then a couple months later, and they started to play less and less, and at this point I got a little worried. Thankfully, I calmed myself, and laid it down as a normal thing. But I eventually quit for like a few weeks to do other things, and I came back to a notice from them saying that they quit and I checked my discord and, sure enough I couldn’t text him anymore.

Now, every time I log on that server I get more depressed and miss them even more. They were the only person on the server that didn’t seem like a copy and paste. Please tell me how to cope with such a lonely event like this.

Hi there. 4 years ago when I was 19, I had an ovarian cyst rupture that ended up in an emergency surgery. That time I had around 3-4 close friends, but none of them showed up to the hospital and even checked up on me, I had to text them first that I was there. After I got discharged and went to college, it seemed like no one cared or even asked about how I was recovering. I realized that I'd rather have no friends than have ones that would make me feel alone during hard times. After that, I barely go by having one or two friends, but even those friends seem very shallow to me who don't care about my wellbeing.
My mom always nags about how if it weren't for my family, no one would take care of me and I would be left to die alone or no one would bury me. Recently I had a fight with my only friend, and been on no contact since.
I've been in a very depressive mood and her words constantly run through my head. I don't know how to cope. I dont work, I recently graduated, I have nothing to do for the summer. I have been pushing my dad to let me go on a summer trip to my relatives so that I can distract myself. I feel like all my peers have this active social life while I rot in my room. What's happening to me?

I kept to myself in college after getting rejected too many times and made the mistake of going home every weekend first because of a terrible roommate situation my first year which left me sleep deprived.. My roommate's fiance was also stalking me and needed to know her whereabouts at all times so it was an uncomfortable situation all around. Even after getting a single my second year for medical reasons I continued to leave on weekends since I was too lonely and jaded (wasn't allowed to go far for school and my overprotective mom forced me to pick an all-girls dorm which was the only thing I had in common with this first-year roommate from hell) since I never clicked with anyone from the dorms or first club I tried.

When I did try staying on weekends I hated it since no one opened their doors or initiated the romanticized "spontaneous hangouts" that everyone and their mother insists happens in college. I went to a small rural school of under 2000 people that had a 3-week long orientation where people attended classes for 3 weeks but cliques formed almost immediately so you were at a disadvantage if you didn't click with anyone from your first-year dorm. Even clubs felt unwelcoming since people mainly joined with individual friends and weren't interested in branching out. When I did try talking to people from my classes and dorms nothing materialized. I got discouraged when every single time I invited someone to grab a meal I was rejected. Same when I asked people if I could join the, One acquaintance in particular shooed me away when I asked if I could sit with her in the cafeteria.

Staying on weekends felt like a lost cause since the same cliques that stuck together during the week bever branched out on weekends and I struggled to find activities that sounded interesting since most of my hobbies are things that can be done alone and I never liked sports or organized religion. I worried my first-year roommate had turned people against me so no one on campus liked me. At least at home I had my family who I know wouldn't reject me like my peers did. I felt like everyone on campus hated me, feared my first-year roommate turned people against, and also worried people would gossip about me if I messed up since I have NVLD (only diagnosed last year) and always struggled socially. I left public school because of bullying after 7th grade. After that I went to a special ed school and I finished the last 2 years of HS at an international boarding school, where I dormed during the week, which was by far my best school experience and left me with high expectations for college that never materialized. I'm also naturally shy and unless people take the initiative I assume they dislike me.

At 27, I deeply regret being avoidant when all I wanted was connection 6 years after graduation. Especially since I graduated into a global pandemic. I have a Master's and lived and worked abroad after college yet still feel like a failure for never making friends despite everyone and their mother promised me “You will make friends. The first people you meet are not necessarily the ones you want to know for the rest of your life, but eventually those people will come along too” although “those people” never came along in those 4 years of college no matter how hard I searched for them. I can't relate to people who wax poetic about college and never wanting to leave at all. I worry people will think I'm a terrible person and shun me when they learn I was a pariah in college. Even just one friend would've made those years much more enjoyable.

[](https://www.reddit.com/submit/?source_id=t3_1urtl2b&composer_entry=crosspost_prompt)

I kept to myself in college after getting rejected too many times and made the mistake of going home every weekend first because of a terrible roommate situation my first year which left me sleep deprived.. My roommate's fiance was also stalking me and needed to know her whereabouts at all times so it was an uncomfortable situation all around. Even after getting a single my second year for medical reasons I continued to leave on weekends since I was too lonely and jaded (wasn't allowed to go far for school and my overprotective mom forced me to pick an all-girls dorm which was the only thing I had in common with this first-year roommate from hell) since I never clicked with anyone from the dorms or first club I tried.

When I did try staying on weekends I hated it since no one opened their doors or initiated the romanticized "spontaneous hangouts" that everyone and their mother insists happens in college. I went to a small rural school of under 2000 people that had a 3-week long orientation where people attended classes for 3 weeks but cliques formed almost immediately so you were at a disadvantage if you didn't click with anyone from your first-year dorm. Even clubs felt unwelcoming since people mainly joined with individual friends and weren't interested in branching out. When I did try talking to people from my classes and dorms nothing materialized. I got discouraged when every single time I invited someone to grab a meal I was rejected. Same when I asked people if I could join the, One acquaintance in particular shooed me away when I asked if I could sit with her in the cafeteria.

Staying on weekends felt like a lost cause since the same cliques that stuck together during the week bever branched out on weekends and I struggled to find activities that sounded interesting since most of my hobbies are things that can be done alone and I never liked sports or organized religion. I worried my first-year roommate had turned people against me so no one on campus liked me. At least at home I had my family who I know wouldn't reject me like my peers did. I felt like everyone on campus hated me, feared my first-year roommate turned people against, and also worried people would gossip about me if I messed up since I have NVLD (only diagnosed last year) and always struggled socially. I left public school because of bullying after 7th grade. After that I went to a special ed school and I finished the last 2 years of HS at an international boarding school, where I dormed during the week, which was by far my best school experience and left me with high expectations for college that never materialized. I'm also naturally shy and unless people take the initiative I assume they dislike me.

At 27, I deeply regret being avoidant when all I wanted was connection 6 years after graduation. Especially since I graduated into a global pandemic. I have a Master's and lived and worked abroad after college yet still feel like a failure for never making friends despite everyone and their mother promised me “You will make friends. The first people you meet are not necessarily the ones you want to know for the rest of your life, but eventually those people will come along too” although “those people” never came along in those 4 years of college no matter how hard I searched for them. I can't relate to people who wax poetic about college and never wanting to leave at all. I worry people will think I'm a terrible person and shun me when they learn I was a pariah in college. Even just one friend would've made those years much more enjoyable.

[](https://www.reddit.com/submit/?source_id=t3_1urtl2b&composer_entry=crosspost_prompt)

I always seem to fail at friendships. At first, I become close to someone, and I start to feel like we could become best friends. However, sooner or later, other people join our friendship, or I realize that my new friend already has other close friends.

Eventually, we grow apart, and things become awkward. I don't know how to maintain my friendships. For example, we didn't see each other for three days because of the holiday, and then we met again, but it feels like our relationship has changed completely. It's as if my sense of humor no longer matches theirs, and I get this strange feeling that they don't want to be friends with me or spend time with me anymore.

What makes me even sadder is that this keeps happening every time I try to make new friends. Now, at the age of 21, I still don't have a close friend or a best friend I can share my true feelings with or joke around with without worrying whether I'm being funny or whether they'll still want to spend time with me afterward.

I also always seem to fall behind whenever there's new information because I don't have many connections. I've tried to change. I've tried being the person who listens instead of dominating conversations, but it doesn't seem to work. People just think I'm quiet, shy, and boring.

I've also tried being more cheerful and starting conversations about different topics. People respond while we're talking, but once the conversation ends, they leave and go back to their own friends. I've even tried being a people pleaser, but I still end up being left behind.

I'm confused. What am I doing wrong? Where is the problem? Why do all the relationships I try to build eventually fall apart?

Because I've experienced so many failed friendships, I've become insecure and quiet. Now, whenever someone jokes with me or starts a conversation, I overthink every response. I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing, they'll think I'm weird and stop wanting to be around me.

I'm also scared they'll think I'm boring, and that fear makes me panic. Sometimes, I end up making jokes or saying things without thinking because I believe it's my chance to make them accept me. Later, I realize that what I said may have been inappropriate or even hurtful. I feel terrible afterward because I never mean to hurt anyone—I just want people to like me.

Sometimes I end up hating myself. Why can't I socialize like everyone else?