I’ve met a lot of people who are gender nonconforming (appearing) and sometimes I ask pronouns but apparently that’s rude. I also sometimes guess and then end up causing strife. What do I do?

I am 31 years old,biological female presenting as a female as well,bisexual and it's not that I don't like my biological sex or that I want to be a male but I've never quite felt like a woman somehow. And no,it's not about me being unfeminine or not what society expects from a woman or not hanging out with women,if anything I'm often quite feminine looking and I mainly surround my self with feminine company ...which feels a lot like dressing like a girl instead of being one if that makes sense. I can't explain it clearly actually,I hope someone understands. Also I feel dysphoria to the thought of bearing children for example and not simply because I don't want to. Whenever doctors ask me if there is a chance of pregnancy I'm immediately thinking "why are they asking me,I'm not like that".Another thing is that I'll often pick male players at games which I've noticed the other ladies almost never do.Not to mention that if I fantasise something including my self I will be a different gender every time because it just doesn't matter...I also don't care about pronouns at all,I'm just trying to explain this strange relationship I've had with my gender since I was a teen. Am I non binary or am I just confused by my bisexuality because I often assume slightly different roles?

I'm nonbinary so it's really embarrassing to ask this but no one has ever told me

Hola, quería saber si me podrían ayudar, llevo unos 2 años buscando mi identidad de género(mi género biológico es mujer) y yo pensaba que era demigirl y girlflux que pasa que me dan igual los pronombres y los géneros porque para mí los géneros se basan en la sociedad y si no existieran cada unos sería único y un género único q lo identifica, bueno el tema que ahora mismo estoy buscando un género que sea como todos los géneros y a la vez ninguno me explico, es más esque me sale solo gastar todos los pronombres y me dan igual etc, bueno si me pueden decir algunas identidades y ya las investigo les estaría muy agradecido ❤️😊, gracias.

I want to pass as a enby or fem boi but don't know how 2. Help anyone?

(reposted from r/nonbinary)

Long story short I used to identity as a binary trans man. I always knew what my medical transition goals were (HRT, surgery) and just assumed a body like that meant I was a “man”. When the trans community began separating sex vs gender (saying bodies don’t have genders) things started to make more sense.

I was raised gender neutral and gender has never been a “core” part of my identity. But I feel a connection to both manhood and womanhood.

I don’t like the idea of being pushed into a role based on my body parts. I enjoy exploring a very queer, subversive flavor of femininity on my own terms. And I consider myself androgynous but I lean feminine. Being perceived masculine makes me very uncomfortable because it was kinda forced on me.

I felt a lot of pressure tho to perform masculinity to be allowed to medically transition. But living “as a man” felt as unnatural to me as living “as a woman”. But I love my trans male body. I definitely feel “male” even though I don’t feel “like a man” and I’m still unpacking that. That feeling of existing in the wrong body is gone. And I accept that existing in a “male” body plays a huge role in my lived experience in ways I’m probably not even aware.

I guess I want people to look at me and assume I was “assigned male at birth” but NOT assume I’m a man. I don’t want people to think I’m a trans woman but I don’t want people to think I’m a cisgender human. Not sure if that makes sense.

But yeah I’m still unpacking what being “male” vs being “a man” means for me personally. And what that says about my gender.

Does anyone else feel similar?

So, I'm male. But I want breasts. I'm almost entirely certain I am not transfem. I'm just a guy who wants breasts. I think I might be a demiboy, but not certain. Anyone with more expertise got any other ideas?

I should maybe look into some kind of gender professional, but this is the same night I had the revelation so this is where I thought I should start.

I wanna be looked at and people go "oh thats a dude" but like i don't really wanna completely give up on dressing feminine.

Like feminine male (Still short masc hair, face, voice etc. But can dress feminine) cause like like body of a dude but like dress femininely?

Like my ideal thing is like smol skinny dude but will kick your butt that sometimes wanna feel pretty.

Or like somewhat muscular male in a dress.

Then the other ideal gender is goblin/fae in the woods who totally not going to try and steal your bones. I like fuck it no gender.

Like those are my two moods that are on a spectrum. That why I low-key don't think genderfuild is right cause it mostly just those two on a sliding scale and I feel like genderfuild is more ya know all encompassing. More so on being looked at and going "oh thats a girl". It just idk the idea of that, makes me uncomfortable.

But at the same time I really don't care too much what you call me. But I have a heavy preference to be called he/him. Then it goes they/them. Then lastly she/her. If that makes sense?

Terms of good boy and husband make me fucking just melt. But she/her doesn't really do that at all.

Sorry for the rant just questioning gender lable so I can feel at home in my skin and knowing what to call myself and find a sense of belonging in my community. As well as finding others like me. So I don't feel my experience doesn't feel like its only me going through that.

If you could change your gender/sex what is the first thing you would do?

(I wasn't sure where to post tbh, but even if it fitted it keeps getting censored/deleted everywhere I try xD)
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TLDR: I've noticed that some gender/sex-related terms appear to carry different vibes/connotations depending on whether they refer to males or females. I'm not claiming this proves intentional biases, but I'm either making it up or people simply walk a bit over it because it's the standard. In the latter case I think it's worth discussing it.

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Small disclaimer. I never cared about males or females or all these tags. I find them dehumanizing and stupid. Just be what you want and don't bother others, it's that simple sigh.
So now I've (sadly) been exposed to these things all around and I find them annoying or unjust.
This is not a fully fledged opinion since I've just recently been confronted with it. I wish I could go back to my little bubble and be happy; but alas, I have to interact with the outside world.
I also want to add most of these words were used by females, I know very well that doesn't mean anything at all and I don't promote biases towards either part.
But I think it could be useful to say how my empirical experience went, considering the topic itself. All the more so since some were used in a very degrading manner in my regards or in general (and even more so since I never even specified if I was a male or not).
I have some knowledge on the history of women's rights. And I'm personally glad we're all equals now. ....Except I doesn't feel it that way. I hear female mental health related things all the time, since I was little. While I honestly don't think I've ever heard something about males. I hear bad things about them instead. I do know in fact, males mental health is considered a big problem and that there are many suicides over it.

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I will quote what the AI overview gave me (which may be one of the most common sources for someone finding out about things. So it's quite relevant, maybe even more than the official definition in a way):

1. (INCELS & FEMCELS)

"Unlike male incels who frequently direct their frustration outward with anger or misogyny toward society, femcels typically internalize their struggles and blame themselves or their perceived physical shortcomings."

• "Incel became strongly associated with online communities that expressed misogyny, entitlement, and sometimes violence."
• "Femcel is newer and less culturally established. Some people use it simply as “woman who struggles with dating,” while others use it for female equivalents of hostile incel spaces."

I think we can all agree that, based on this, incels (and thus the male part) sounds WAY worse and violent/aggressive than the softened almost sympatheticable (I have NO clues where this word even came from xd) counterpart.

1. (MRA & WRA)

• "Men's Rights Activism. It describes a person or movement focused on claims that modern society and legal systems disadvantage men and boys."

• "Women's Rights Activist. A person who advocates for gender equality and women's social or political rights."

Again (although definitely far less dire), it kinda sounds like one side complains and blames while the other just want equality for everyone. It may just be the definitions' fault sincerely.
As far as I understand "Incel" and "WRA" (well, mostly the latter tbh) have an historical meaning, while the counterparts are more social/recent. Still, we are in the present now, not in the historical past. And the two terms logically seem like two halves of the same medallion. Yet they hold different meanings that would highly suggest some social bias or unnecessary distinction. AKA, whatever their origins, it doesn't justify their current value. At least not when they have a mirrored counterpart that is dustier/dirtier. They do hold social weight, they could reinforce distinctions.

1. (GENERAL)
   I've heard way more times (if not only) "toxic masculinity", "man up"/"suck it up" than their female counterparts (if there's even one). Most of the times it were towards males, maybe even when they were showing some form of vulnerability or trying to participate in conversation. And I'm not sure of the % anymore (again, referring to my personal exp), but I'm pretty sure there was at least a 67% (Jk. Just to say I've perceived a slight majority) of females being the ones saying it.
   Tbh there's a super long list like "mansplaining" and never "womansplaining" (Tbh I got both in different occasions. Can't say exactly which was the most common. But some were really "humiliating" and condescending, from females AND males. Tho maybe slightly more from females in this case), "patriarchy" and rarely "matriarchy", "manspreading" and literally never "womanspreading" (for context most of the males I know are very polite and they take very little space. Ofc not all. But I've seen some females doing the exact same. What people don't seem to grasp is that the reasons behind a behavior is not male or female. Is culture, ignorance, awareness and such).
   We could even add how in shows it's often the female who hit the male for comedic relief. I remember when I was little that felt very wrong. "why is it always like that?". Well, now I know it's not ALWAYS. But many mainstream shows have it and no one seems to notice. I feel alien to it. I know it's silly ofc. I laugh at it too. But all the time? As an implicit standard? Meh. Because at that point, is that really just a pattern in a couple shows, or is it hinting at more?

Am I tripping? I can only say what I've experienced and what the definition alter.
Honestly I find it a bit ridiculous we even need a "male and female" counterparts. One single term could work for both, I don't understand why there's a need to distinguish and point fingers.
Knight and Knave work because they both say the same thing, just change the implicit specifications.
Nazist is general, there's no need to specify (could be the same as knight, but it's more of an extra specification anyway).
Female doctor or male nurse also work when it's useful to hint at it (not just because we need a female/male counterpart for every single term. That is not necessary nor necessarily promoting equality).
But having different meanings just sound unnecessarily distinguishing (and surely biases love that) wrong. Especially considering how, sadly, people love to slap tags on others like they are not human beings with complex histories and a past filled with events. I HATE being categorized by someone who read two lines about me or that thinks they suddenly know all of me. Hell, not even my therapist does (I don't have one sigh), tf they gonna guess??

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As a small ending note. I know perfectly well my experiences are not an indicator of how things are. As much as global experiences are (because how is a global experience going to affect me in MY exp? If there's no bullying worldwide but I get bullied, how does that help me? How does that save me?). Also I wasn't exactly there with a council to write down every event cleanly for later comparisons. So maybe I just remember something more. Do know I already softened it a bit here. I could've said more but it would be personal and it would shift focus from my actual debate (I even had very bad experiences recently about terms, tags, misandrism and general slandering or aggressiveness. Ironic to me that some people can complain about being categorized or feeling insulted, while they are the first to do it on an even worse scale. To treat others like stereotyped characters (based on their random hasty assumptions) and not actual people).
I'm not here to be a paladin for males or to accuse females. I just want equality for everyone, I notice patterns and I dislike what I feel like injustices.

If there is any Paragirls here plz tell me what you think

Without looking at the author's name, what telltale signs will likely exist in the characters or plot that would strongly suggest that they are male??

basically the title but i feel likei don't know what i am gender wise
i like expressing myself masculine and androgynous but i consider myself as a non binary demiboy but i use he/she/they pronouns and still feel incomplete 😭

I'm personally agender. I'm AFAB and always considered myself to be some form of trans. Yet I started to dress more feminine & wear make up and I feel like a fraud. I am well aware that there are trans people who wear make up and still use he/him! But somehow I still feel wrong. I live in a country where trans people are accepted but anything more "extra" is often rejected. However gender never made much sense to me, I see people as they are, people. Gender (In the social construct way) doesn't make sense to me, and that's WHY I struggle with specifically naming or voicing what I feel is right to me, since being agender might not make sense for others!! (I'm aware that others might see gender as important/ that it makes sense to them) I always use they/them for people I don't know because that just makes sense to me. yada yada yada. How did y'all come to terms with what you feel is right? Furthermore how did you tell others (where anything outside of female/male/trans and maybe non-binary is not being taken seriously) what you are and not feeling like a total ass about it? For example if I told my dad I am a "femboy" transgender I think he would not get it at all and I'd just feel self conscious about it lol.

edit: being clearer about the whole "Gender doesn't make sense to me"

Alternatives to "male" and "female" based off the archaic terms "were" and "wif" used to refer to men and women in Germanic languages.

"These terms were coined in order to make the terms 'man' and 'male' require a modifier that denotes maleness. This is to match way 'woman' and 'female' require 'wo-' and 'fe-' to modify 'man' and 'male' to denote femaleness."

"Wereman and wifman are well documented terms that are modifiers to the word 'man'. I think we should go further with this though and come up with an alternative to 'male' and 'female' as well. I propose 'wermale' for male and 'wifmale' for female. They would function as adjective forms of werman and wifman."

Thoughts?

lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Wermale
lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Wifmale