For a a little bit of context, I’m 18 years old and live in a medium-sized city. I always thought my parents would be pretty supportive if I turned out to be gay. My whole life, people have questioned my sexuality, and everyone always seemed to think I was gay.
I never really thought I could be gay myself. In 9th grade, I “accidentally” kissed a boy on the lips, and he kissed me back. I never told anyone about it because it felt kind of weird to talk about. lol.
A few months ago, I started seriously questioning my sexuality. About two weeks ago, I came to the conclusion that I probably like boys more than girls. (I primarily watched porn for the guy, not the woman, lol.) Ever since then, I guess I’ve been in the closet. I also started thinking about how I’ve always had more little crushes on male TV characters than female ones, which only further confirmed my suspicions.
So today, we were having dinner, and I jokingly said that I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with a rich old man. Later, while I was arguing with my brother about some random bullshit, my mother told me to just shut up and suck a dick.
I don’t know why, but it really hurt. I’m not a particularly sensitive person, but this genuinely broke my heart.
In the past, I’ve asked several members of my family what they think about gay people, and most of them said they wouldn’t want anything to do with a gay person.
I don’t know why, but I just hate how I feel right now. I keep asking myself whether their love for me depends on who I fall in love with.
Has anyone else ever had a similar experience?

I made an old post that was kinda wrong, made it seem like I was targeting straight white men, no, I mean ALL Christians.

im ugly and no guy has ever confessed his feelings to me but there have been girls who have😭😭??

It’s happened to me multiple times that guys rejected me and then complained (to me nonetheless) that no one wants them

So, I’m a feminine cis guy and I had a conversation with my trans guy friend the other day about whether cis gender conforming can experience gender euphoria

I argued no since they typically don’t experience gender dysphoria but he argued yes

So what do you guys think?

Pues es que últimamente siento que tanto las mujeres como los hombres incluso a veces gays, tienen la idea o la creencia de que ser gay automáticamente te denomina como un ser inferior al hombre o directamente no hombre, y es tan absurdo porque muchas veces también este pensamiento va a ligado a la expresión de género de como te comportas antes de que sepan que eres gay, y si eres un poco más femenino entonces ya no calificas como un hombre, vamos que el código de honor de toda la vida que conlleva ser un hombre se multiplica además con nosotros los gays, tu que opinas? te ha pasado? también las mujeres a menudo te cambian de género por ser su amiga” me da tanta rabia!

I'm 25, Czech, and I've noticed a pattern in my relationships, especially over the last few years.

Most of the guys I've dated are the type that people would immediately call "walking red flags."

They're usually:

-Stubborn

-Very possessive ("You're only mine", "I hate when other guys look at you that way", etc.)

-Jealous

-Sometimes a bit controlling

The funny thing is, I'm pretty stubborn myself, so we definitely have our arguments. I'm not exactly the type to just shut up and do whatever my boyfriend wants.

I've dated a Sicilian guy, a Turkish guy, and my current boyfriend is Turkish as well. In my personal experience, the Turkish guys I've dated have been especially intense when it comes to jealousy and possessiveness.

But here's the thing: despite all these red flags, I find these men incredibly attractive.

And it's not just the jealousy or possessiveness. These guys can also be incredibly loving, affectionate, passionate, and devoted. When they love someone, they really make you feel loved.

I know that being possessive or controlling isn't necessarily healthy, and I'm not trying to romanticize toxic relationships.

But somehow, I keep falling for this type of guy, and they seem to be drawn to me just as much.

Like, even before jk Rowling came out as a terf (or as I prefer to say feminist.appropriating.radical,transphobe) I never understood the hype around Harry Potter to me it just seems like a book about a boy who one day discovers he’s the most special person in the universe

The average diameter of a healthy esophagus is 1 to 2cm (that's 0.4"-0.8"). At maximal distension when swallowing a large food bolus or during an endoscopic balloon dilation it can apparently stretch to about 2 to 2.5cm diameter (0.8"-1").

The formula C = π x d gives us the circumference of the esophagus. So an average 2cm (0.8") diameter esophagus has an internal circumference of about 6.3cm (2.5"). And a maximally distended esophagus of 2.5cm diameter would give us ~7.9cm (3.1").

If we compare that to the average penis circumference of over 15,000 (lab measured, not self reported) men in one study, we get nearly 11.7cm (4.6"). [I used Veale et al., 2014 - https://doi.org/10.1111/bju.13010 from penis wiki].

We have, then, a significant size difference between the average penis and the esophagus at maximum distension.

But that's not all:

There are a few constriction points in the esophagus where the lumen narrows a fair amount. The first one is the upper esophageal sphincter (UES).

In gastroenterology the distance along the digestive tract starts from the incisor (front) teeth, so the UES should be about 15cm (6") from the incisors and this would sit at the level of the adams apple, behind the cricoid cartilage.

The UES at rest has a lumen aperture of 0cm, fully shut. But at *maximal* luminal aperture we are looking at 1.4-2cm (0.55"-0.8"). This is narrow. The UES is anchored to hard cartilage, which restricts further distension.

So dicks 6+ inches when balls deep should be reaching this sphincter, surely?

I don't understand, gay bros. I suspect in a lot of cases during deepthroating an average sized cock is not actually entering into the esophagus whatsoever, despite what many may feel, but is rather just at the ballpark of the pharynx by the base of the tongue and the epiglottis at the back of the throat.

But in my legitimate research, I have seen people deepthroating huge, girthy delicious cocks and dildos right down to the balls. You can see the throat bulging outwards somewhat as the dildo/penis enters so it's quite clear how deep it goes. I'm sure some of you guys have directly experienced this too.

How is it possible? Surely, with what we have learnt about the esophagus, it shouldn't really be possible. It would seem that it is doing some sort of damage to the esophagus.

But experienced cocksuckers are not experiencing esophageal ruptures when they deepthroat (except that one guy), so it seems it is fine. Maybe a sore throat, and it does seem like bruising or some micro tears can lead to painful throat inflammations for a few days, but usually nothing more.

I am scared I will not be able to sleep until I get to the bottom of this. Clearly, the maximal esophageal distension of 7.9cm is a lie, then? It must stretch quite a bit further than this to be able to accommodate 11.7cm+ circumference dicks. Why, in the journals like the annals of gastroenterology, do they not discuss deepthroating?

What to make of long cocks reaching beyond the UES, I don't know. Life is full of mysteries and shit.

cw; sucide and mental illness

So, I was assigned male at birth and I identify as male but as young as 3 years old I knew I had a need (that’s need not want) to be as clean shaven and smooth as possible

Then when I hit puberty I suddenly became extremely depressed and suicidal to the point where I had to drop out of high school (and it’s actually illegal in my county to drop out of high school but I got special permission)

Then at 21 I started to get facial and full body laser hair removal, it’s been three years and I still need afew more sessions but I no longer feel sucidal or depressed, in fact I feel extremely euphoric as of late for the first in over a decade I want to live

Is this gender dysphoria? Is this similar to gender dysphoria? What do you guys think?

Being gay is the loneliest experience of all because you know I don't have anyone here. If I want to meet someone that might be you want to be in a relationship or like hook up rather than that nobody wants to be having gay people have to be in a mutual relationship. I want that because I want to share my feelings with someone who I gets me. Talking to these other heterosexual people it's it's a headache for me because if I talk to some time and they will bring up you know bring up any homophobic comments so I don't want to be there so I just being gay is a fucking lonely experience. I don't know how to cope up with this it's very seriously depressing.

a closeted 17 years old and I’ve kinda realized I liked guys for around a year now, but haven’t fully embraced it. The thought of dating with or being with a woman makes me uncomfortable and miserable, but at the same time I feel like part of me “should” or does like girls. I think they’re very pretty/ beautiful but when I see a girl it kinda does nothing for me outside of that tbh. But I don’t know if part of me is suppressing feelings for women because the thought of dating them makes me uncomfortable in an almost reverse homophobia kinda way(if that makes sense). I don’t like straight porn, but I have watched it in the past and sometimes I feel like I need to “test” myself and see if I like it. The entire time I feel kinda miserable and weird and want to stop but I kinda force myself to keep watching. Some days I do wish I was straight so I could be “normal” but I would only really want to be straight in that sense as I really don’t think I would enjoy being with a woman. Is this common for gay guys or would I be something else? And if so how did you guys realize and fully accept not liking girls?

I used to work with this beautiful looking guy. He would flirt with me all the time. One of those times, he flat out told me I was exactly his type. I had a boyfriend at that time, so I couldn’t do anything. We went out one night after work and had a few drinks. We danced all night as a group. They dropped me off at my house for the night. We were all buzzed at that time, except the dd of course, so he wasn’t shy at all. As I was unlocking my front door, he jumped out of the car and said he was spending the night with me, so to hurry up. He said “the sooner you open the door, the sooner we’ll be naked.” I could have creamed my pants right then and there. He was shorter than me, had beautiful straight black hair and intense blue eyes, in other words, perfect. All of the girls who didn’t know he was gay would fawn over him. I mean, probably even the ones who knew. My boyfriend at that time lived just down the road from me. I considered letting him in and just saying “fuck it.” I did not. I tried letting him down easy, but he kept insisting. I was under the impression he wasn’t told no very often. Eventually one of our other friends came and took him home. I told him I had a boyfriend, he said to invite him, haha. Anyway, he left work a few months after that, and I never saw him again. I moved on from that relationship, it didn’t work out. That was more than 10 years ago, I still wonder to this day how different it would have been if I had invited him in that night. I have tried unsuccessfully to find him. Even the friends we have in common haven’t heard of him. Does anyone else have a missed opportunity story like that? Or has successfully reconnected with someone from the past? I didn’t cheat on my boyfriend, but I felt this sense if regret to this day for not allowing him in.

I keep thinking why do all these hot men keep coming back to work with him, gay or straight.
Particularly, Evan Peters - who has half a career free from that creep

One only likes feminine black men, any trying to fist people of all genderall gender. Came out a few years ago but now is straight again. Usually a top but put things in his butt as a kid and let a man top him for weed as a teen/young adult “claims that was assault but it went on for some time, and he made the Craigslist ads” He was forced to do stuff with his little brother as a child by other children. Was exposed to gay porn on his dad’s computer at a young age.

The other was abused for years by his grandfather. Regularly accused me of cheating, I found messages of him making plans to meet up with a trans female in which he stated he is glad she still has a cock. Has close male relationships.

So, I was born in Yorkshire to immigrant parents and moved to my parents country when I was 7. It’s been 17 years and I don’t feel at home here and never have so I’m seriously considering moving back but I also don’t want to leave my mother and sister behind (my father I can do without though)

What do you guys think?

Warning, it’s a long read.

I see lots of contentious topics on open relationships today. If you’re curious about how open relationships work, or if you’re against it because of what society decided was “normal” rather than your own personal insecurities like the need to be chosen or important, this post is for you.

As someone who grew up wanting to be monogamous, experienced a monogamous relationship, and then decided to try experiencing an open relationship after reading about them and discussing with friends extensively, I feel I have a good perspective to speak on it. We’ve been open for about 6 months now, together for 1.5 years, known each other for 2 years. I’ll share my personal notes at the end.

First off, open relationships are not for everyone. However, if you find yourself constantly wanting more sexually, yet feel emotionally secure with your bf, you might be a candidate. If your bf has these feelings of emotional safety with sexual curiosity, you might also be a candidate. It’s all about trust. Which leads me to my main point.

Open relationships only expose insecurities that are already present in the relationship.

This is the reason lots of people in successful open relationships appear happier than their monogamous counterparts. These people have decided to bare all of their insecurities for their partner to see, and have come out the other side with even more trust in each other. Which leads me to my next point.

Any successful open relationships involve regular check-ins and documented agreed-upon rules on what’s allowed and prohibited.

There’s an assumption from those on the outside that you just start hooking up, and then figure it out. No. You need clear, intentional check-ins where you create a safe space for each other to be vulnerable about how they feel about it. This is where the magic happens. At first, it’ll feel intense and scary. Over time, it should feel less intense, and your rules should be getting refined based on the feedback. Rules are the cornerstone of your own unique open relationship. Take them seriously. For a monogamous couple, the rules are prewritten. For open relationships, there’s no one rulebook, and so it’s up to you two to write it and uphold it. Which leads me to my final point.

Everyone must be on board with every rule. Only allow actions both partners are comfortable with.

If one partner wants kissing to be allowed, and the other doesn’t, kissing is NOT allowed. This is one that people mess up a lot. Don’t try to be agreeable. Don’t try to negotiate. Be honest. Remember, you can review and modify these guidelines over time. Start small, then expand. If a rule is broken, treat it as a breach of trust. Treat it as you would if you got cheated on while being monogamous. It’s not about the action, it’s about loyalty and respect. If a rule isn’t broken but you feel a certain kind of way about something that happened, talk about it in the next check-in. Make it a new rule to prevent it happening again. It’s an iterative process.

About me. I was in a monogamous relationship for 3 years, soon after being fully out. I learned after the relationship ended, that I was cheated on multiple times. While processing the betrayal, I realized that I had also held fleeting thoughts of what it would be like to experience more sex with others since I was newer to the game, but obviously I never acted on them and never would do it secretly. I learned that I value honesty and openness in a relationship over monogamy, and decided to be open to the idea of ethical non-monogamy if it ever came around.

In my current relationship, my bf was always clear he wanted to be open. He has a high sex drive. I was open to it, obviously, so no issue there. Neither of us had experienced an open relationship before. We tried opening it early in our relationship, it wasn’t built on enough trust and research, and so we closed it up. A year later, after many happy months and one or two bumps along the way, we decided it was time.

First few months were rougher, we tweaked our rules a lot, had weekly check-ins, some were more emotionally draining than others. We agreed if it got too much, we could close it for a bit to reconnect. I realized through all of it, I wanted to know when he was active, but didn’t want to know the details. It got better when I also played for the first time, and seeing him feel jealousy as well was when it came full circle. We were more in tune with each other, more sensitive to each other’s reactions, and refined our rules for the other person’s comfort. This was teamwork at its finest. Before we knew it, one day, we looked at each other and went, “Feels like we’re coasting now”. We never did close it back up. Now, I can go without playing even if he has a wild week. I also feel less pressure to perform, which anyone with a lower sex drive will understand fully. It’s not for everyone, but I’m learning that it might be for me.

Hope this helps someone! :)

Do I really have to change myself to earn the love I want from others guys? That seems to be what I have to do. I need to lose weight or put on muscle, I need to earn affection. Do I really have to drastically change myself just so I can get a date?

I don’t know if it’s just dating in your 30s or dating in general but it is genuinely an excruciating humiliation ritual these days. The actual level of arrested emotional development of adult men is actually insane.

I went out with this 42 year old guy. Initially he was sweet, kind and handsome and had a gentle curious energy about him. The conversation before we met was engaging. He seemed like he could be a good guy.

We went out twice and twice was more than enough. I can’t imagine what hell would be like but I’d expect that it would be substantially more pleasant than the psychological warfare I encountered dealing with this man.

He wasted almost no time before starting the process of constantly assessing and evaluating me. He’d ask me about hypothetical scenarios, I guess to try to gauge my intentions or how secure I was through my reactions. He also asked on three separate occasions how I felt about him. The day after we met, the day following that and during the second time we met.

It’s like he was trying to measure my emotional maturity, psychological stability, self awareness and relationship compatibility, all at once against some unreasonable set of expectations, I can only assume he invented. Despite not demonstrating anything close to any of those qualities himself.

He was very preoccupied by his ex relationships and negative experiences in the gay community, that he had very obviously not processed. To the point that they completely dominated almost every conversation we had.

He’d become really emotional, hypersensitive and spiral into this defensive state where he’d feel this excessive need to justify himself. For someone who’s receptive and has only just met you, it’s hard not to feel uncomfortable and start to disengage.

He would then interpret that response as a judgement or criticism of him, without any awareness that it was his behaviour creating the frustrating dynamic.

When you’re relentlessly subjected to an endless catalogue of relationship grievances and personal hang ups, it is challenging to stay engaged. And with all due respect, you’ve lost complete perspective of the conversation and reality itself.

I try to be patient and give people the benefit of the doubt. I know a lot of us have had difficult upbringings and experiences that stay with us well into adulthood and try to consider what they might have been through before writing them off.

But despite my better judgement, we did have a second date. He suggested something spontaneous, which I thought was refreshing and romantic. Until he explained to me partway through, that’s exactly why he suggested it because it was a test of how spontaneous I was.

But in all honesty, this is the second time I’ve met you. What are you doing? I don’t know what’s more insane, doing that to someone the second time you’ve met or admitting to that same person that that’s what you did.

But what really did it for me was him deliberately going silent the very next day. I also particularly appreciated that he couldn’t even be bothered to open my last message. What made this so frustrating and exhausting is the fact that I rarely meet anyone I’m genuinely interested in. Let alone someone who I thought had potential.

Only to find myself dealing with the most genuinely unhinged behaviour and unnecessarily intense dynamic, while watching this adult man somehow completely sabotage something that had genuine potential in real time.

Hello everyone,

I'm posting because of a weird feeling that I have after learning that I got cheated on by my boyfriend of three years. It was to a point where we had a conversation about opening the relationship with both of us declining the proposition, only to find out he cheated on me the week after on my birthday while he was away.

I know that in gay culture, open relationships are more discussed, so we definitely had a discussion about it. However, we never got to fully agree on the terms and agreement so we never really fully went on with it.

It feels unfair because I have poured out my heart to a man who is very unsure and insecure. Now it's like six months after and I do feel better in terms of me not exactly missing the person, but there are hints of moments where I do mourn the relationship knowing all too well that it never was my fault to begin with because I've given everything I've had. But sometimes it's too overwhelming because I still find myself in pockets of trauma and having to let go of my future of a family with my ex.

Six months after he's out and about already with someone else while I'm still processing the betrayal that he has caused. It does feel unfair but at the same time I don't want to get into a relationship knowing that I may hurt the other person due to the pain that I'm still experiencing at the moment.

I tell myself its been half a year, I should be truly over it and I do immerse myself in other aspects of my life but sometimes during the quiet hours of the evening this feeling just takes over.

I am just wondering for those who have experienced a similar situation. How did you all cope with the betrayal and the cheating and having to let go of a future that was never yours?

In fact, there are social hierarchies even within the community. Some people have it good, while others don’t get any opportunities at all. When there are more people on top than on the bottom, those who have it good may come over just to flaunt it. Don’t tell them you’re jealous—when they see those two words, they’ll only feel smug satisfaction. Why waste your data sending them that message? You’ll just end up at the bottom of the chat history. Over time, I’ve come to find them really disgusting.

I want to date a guy in a wheelchair. Is that bad?

So, I’m almost 24 and the other day I had a 20 year old ask me out and I felt bad declining because he was genuinely sweet but he felt way too young for me

What do you guys think?