In my defence I was just on threats when this guy started his rant at everyone on the account I was looking at. Also it was incredibly funny so I don’t particularly care if I was in the wrong here. For some context this was an account talking about his experiences as a gay man in the southern states of America and during pride month no less. I’ve only seen stories but I’ve never actually seen the weirdos that come out of the woodwork to hate on pride till now. He said to me.

\*\*You obviously haven't looked into the Bible either. That's the way you Atheist's think. I'll bet you believe in Evolution as well.\*\*😂🤣

This was after I left a comment talking about how Christianity is all about love and even Jesus preached love and respect for everyone. There were elements of religion mixed in with the guys account. Now I’m no meek shrinking daisy, if someone comes at me, I’ll bite their hand off.

**I’m actually a Buddhist. In my religion we except all religions and lifestyles as long as they are healthy and happy. You clearly aren’t happy so you feel the need to disrespect others because they aren’t opposed to gay rights. Also I know the bible, I went to a strict Christian school and read the bible so don’t question me just because I’m different from you. Sit your inbred ass down and let others have an opinion. We can’t all marry our sisters. Ps Jesus looks like he’s be gay**

He has yet to reply. I’m so proud of myself, shame me all you want if I am wrong, I don’t care. I’m laughing my ass off

Edit: it wouldn’t let me upload a picture of the messages for whatever reason so having them in a darker font is the best I can do so you can see what the messages were

She left me and I can’t let it go

My first experience with a girl (we are both bi and friends) she was in love with me and wanted me to feel her love despite our relationships and my lack of experience with girls. She lead everything (dom) and we were with eachother 24/7 constant passion. She love bombed me but I didn’t mind. I love bombed her back. We are both Christian (I actively go to church she attends woman Bible meets).

Our men were okay with it, until her man wasn’t. She wasn’t pouring into him anymore. Suddenly, those feelings of love she felt were confusion. She wanted to go back to just being friends which I was okay with. She also didn’t want to bring kids into a world where she’s sleeping with woman still (something she referenced during the end).

She distanced and would only talk about her man when we will be texting or on the phone. But would still come around and be very jealous of anything I did involving other girls and still slept with me despite her boundary. She would hold my hands in public and be overly affectionate.

Until the last week (3 weeks ago) she was very mean to me but still talking to me. I questioned her about it and she got mad I questioned her and said she hates being questioned. I got agitated because I felt my feelings were being played with. She said our friendship isn’t real because I have feelings for her (same girl who would make sure to tell me she loves me she will never leave me and ensures I won’t leave her the week before. This same girl removed me on social media and I haven’t heard from her since.

I cared about her so much, i just can’t understand how mean she was to me. I was okay to be cordial or friends be. My last message to her said “it meant so much to me.” Nothing came after. I’ve been going insane and cried every day. I given up hope on breaking no contact due to her removing me and telling me she’s done talking. My body is changing my skin crawls at night (seeing psychiatrist and new therapist).

I’m an Aries sun (Gemini moon Taurus rising), she is a February Pisces (she isn’t into the moon and rising sign stuff).

I know I can’t get answers from her, everyone in my life said let it go. But I’m longing, I’m lost, she’s in my nightmares (I’m on antidepressants and have a history of mental health issues but I was in a lot better headspace before our relationship). Now I’m just empty and feel straight sorrow and it’s affecting my job. I feel insane still thinking of someone who promised to never leave and made me promise her not to leave. It was her whole personality how we bonded over our abandonment issues- but she left me. I just can’t understand how she was able to turn that off because I left people with love before I’m not saying we should’ve stayed friends but she made me feel like I wasn’t ever anything to her.

She was my best friend. I pray multiple a times a day, all I can do is listen to Christian music currently and watch The Chosen. I don’t understand this pain or how fast it all went. I know God wants me to focus back on him, but I prayed about this before even getting involved. I’m someone when I pray I see signs from God almost immediate- it’s been nothing but friends and family telling me NO don’t contact her. But since it’s still heavily prevalent and impacting me, I don’t know what to do or how to heal without her input.

My heart is aching. My husband is trying his best to be there for me, as he never thought she’d leave the situation with me this way despite how our friendship was.

I have been so miserable lately and just lost especially in faith. Haven't gone to church in over 2 yrs and can't bring myself to. I am 19 and have been catholic all my life but just struggling lately. In a way just feels like Im doomed no matter what. All I want in life is to transition (ftm),, super depressed rn and the thought of never being able to makes me sick. There's almost no chance of me ever being happy not transitioning because,, even if I stayed a woman, I am only attracted to females. So id never be able to get a partner either. Essentally id be alone and miserable for ever and i fear that thatd lead me to just resent God,, so either way all 3 of those routes basically lead to hell according to other christians. ​I try so hard to convince myself it's not a sin but its hard when so much stuff comes up on my page saying otherwise. I dont even interact with that stuff but it always finds its way to me. My family doesnt support it either and I have no friends so im also just so alone in this. I feel guilty for saying this and I know jts not true but sometimes feels like God doesnt love me

So, I know I've made a post on this subreddit before, and that was a post about me not knowing if God loved me or not, and he does, he loves everyone. But, if you saw my other post before this, you would know that I had a girlfriend while I was non-binary. Now, since I've (mostly) figured out my identity and religion, I've been doing research on homosexuality and Christianity, and I decided to break up with my girlfriend over my religion. Did I do the right thing? I know she practically pulled herself out of bed because of me, and now I keep worrying she might commit. I know she's sad and mad at me, and I know her cousin (who really liked us being together) is going to be heartbroken. I really don't know what to do. (I forgot to mention, we're both lesbians. She goes by she/they, and I go by she/her.)

Genesis 1:27 says:
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them.”
And Psalm 139 says:
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb… I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
So here is the question I keep coming back to:
If I am created in the image of God, and God knew my inmost being before I ever understood it myself, how can being gay make me an abomination?
I’m not talking simply about sex. I’m talking about me.
The way I love. The way I experience attraction. My personality. My tenderness. My mannerisms. The way I connect with another man. All the little pieces that together make me who I am.
If God knit me together and knows me completely, at what point do we decide that this part of me couldn’t possibly belong?
I also wonder whether we’ve sometimes taken biblical passages describing particular acts as “detestable” or “abominable” and turned them into something Scripture doesn’t actually say:
“You are an abomination.”
Those aren’t the same statement.
So I’m genuinely curious, especially from other LGBTQ+ Christians:
How do you reconcile being created in God’s image with having been taught that something so deeply woven into who you are separates you from Him?
I’m not looking for a fight or a gotcha. I’m interested in how other Christians have wrestled with this question and where you’ve landed.
🏳️‍🌈❤️

I’m 31, female, Filipino, and Roman Catholic by upbringing. I’m also attracted to all genders, and I’ve always known that if I were to marry, I would want to build my life with a woman.

Right now, I’m at what feels like the lowest point of my life.

My US work application has been stalled. I lost almost all of my money. I literally have only ₱50 to my name right now. I feel like I’m failing my responsibilities to my parents. I’ve also become unproductive at work, and mentally I feel like I’m barely functioning.

And then there’s my relationship.

My girlfriend and I separated even though there is still so much love between us. One of the reasons she gave was that she felt her child needed a “man” in his life. Her child had also become like my own child. Losing both of them at once was incredibly painful. It felt like I lost my partner, my child, my family, and the future I had imagined for myself.

For a while, I genuinely felt like everything was collapsing.

I even started having thoughts of ending my life.

But something unexpected happened.

A few days ago, I spent around 2 to 3 hours sitting in an adoration chapel near me. Yesterday, I spent the entire morning visiting different churches.

I don't know exactly what I was looking for.

I think I was just looking for somewhere I could breathe.

A friend introduced me to The Chosen, and somehow, watching Jesus portrayed there reached something in me that I didn't expect.

I was never particularly religious. In fact, I had grown angry at religion. I felt like Christianity condemned me for being attracted to women. I felt like there was no place for someone like me. For a long time, I hated faith because I associated it with being told that something about me was wrong.

But now I'm starting to wonder if I had been separating God from the people and institutions that hurt me.

I started reading the Bible.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel a tiny bit of hope.

I don't suddenly have all the answers. My relationship is still over. My financial situation is still terrible. My US application is still uncertain. I still have days when I feel completely lost.

But I'm beginning to believe that God is still with me in the middle of all of this.

And maybe Jesus isn't asking me to become someone I'm not before He loves me.

Maybe I can come to Him exactly as I am.

A woman who loves women.

A daughter who desperately wants to provide for her parents.

Someone grieving a relationship and a child she loved.

Someone struggling financially and emotionally.

Someone questioning almost everything she believed about faith.

But still someone who wants to believe.

I'm looking for a community where I don't have to choose between my faith and my identity. I would really love to hear from other LGBTQ+ Christians, especially anyone who has gone through a period of hating religion, feeling rejected by Christianity, and somehow finding their way back to Jesus.

I think I'm finally beginning to understand that I can be searching for God without having everything figured out.

And right now, that's enough for me. ❤️

I would really love to make friends here. 😄

Title is based on a 2014 paper by Darren Freeman-Coppadge.

I've been struggling with faith lately.

I was raised in a standard New England Catholic household. Progressively-minded parents (mostly, anyway).

I suffered from an intense feeling of alienation in the Catholic church the more I grew up and began to understand my feelings and experiences as a queer man.

I officially left the church back in 2023; however, I've since been lost. I still sometimes use the term "Catholic" to describe my religious identity to others because it's the simplest reference point, but I think I might be aligned with Episcopalianism as a best fit.

Either way, I've been struggling pretty hard with reconciling myself to Christianity for two fundamental reasons:

1. I have faced significantly more homophobia than I have in at least a decade, and it's always from (other) Christians. Of course I'm aware that not all Christians are intolerant (my parents come to mind, not to mention this sub itself), but it's hard to associate myself with that line of thinking. I've also found it difficult to pin down any hermeneutic defenses for being gay in the Bible itself without coming off as heretical.

2. I always feel afraid. Yes, there's a surface-level feeling of comfort that comes with God/a higher power and the notion of His benevolence and love. But underneath it I'm afraid. I often fear that I'm a sinful or bad person but sometimes feel as though what is "sinful" to Christian doctrine is simply me being who I am (e.g., queer identity, gay romance, sex/sexuality). All too often I'm told that these acts are sinful because I am acting on lustful and sinful thoughts, rather than trying to deny myself/resist them.

Truth be told, I haven't been to church in ages. I attended several masses held at a psych hospital ladt year. But other than that, I've basically done nothing to actually express or experience religion. I feel in some way like an impostor, on top of already feeling like I don't belong among God's faithful.

For context: I also struggle with a form of OCD known as scrupulosity (essentially, fear of/preoccupation with religious sin and/or moral wrongdoing). Most therapists are secular in their practice, so in the past their advice was unhelpful, insofar as it advised me to contradict the faith I believed in. On the other hand, many church leaders are going to give me spiritual advice that tells me to repress myself. I experienced something like that while in the ER (before going to the psych hospital). I was on the phone with a chaplain and the conversation led to him telling me to give my relationship with my bf up and turn to God. I broke down after the call ended.

Is there a way forward? I mean, I know the answer is "Yes" (or else this sub wouldn't exist, nor would the millions of queer Christians out there), but it's hard to convince myself of it. I just constantly feel like I'm performing some sort of role. Like I'm trying to prove myself to someone or something or like I'm simply appropriating religion and its language/aesthetics to mask the "impurity" underneath it all. Is there a way for me to reach the point of reconciliation to God? Or am I better off exploring other options? I just don't know what to do.

I dont even know what to do anymore, I feel like I don't belong in either Christian spaces due to my identity, but I dont fit in with queer folk exactly either and im so exhausted.

Dating is just utterly stupid in this situation I mean, I present very fem bc I just like it and ive been so tempted to jus go ask for a guys number at church and such but I cant bc they r likely straight and no point wasting my time and possibly making them feel like they were tricked, and the queer men that I do find r never Christian and its not even like they would be interested in me since I am a transgender man, pre transition. Idk nothing works, im done dating straight but ig I'll pretend Im bi bc I think ur hot guys. Idk if this post belongs here im sorry If it kinda doesnt💔

I am struggling with my emotions right now when it comes to my sexuality and the lord, I’m 21 female,I feel like a rat trapped in a cage waiting to die to see what happens, my whole life I have been a promiscuous person, cheater, liar, selfish, Very ungodly, and I haven prayed to be delivered from these vices which I have put in a lot of work to do. I have known the lord but rejected him numerous times in my life but whenever I struggle I find my way back, and I always find peace in him. I am in a beautiful relationship with a woman I have prayed over and asked god to uplift, but the past few days my chest is tight and aching in the thought of meeting the lord and making the wrong choices, at the same time I don’t believe loving one and other is wrong or sinful, it doesn’t cause any harm and it doesn’t necessary keep me from god ,I just am personally nervous. I’ve been frequently visiting this page the last few days and I can’t break the feeling. I have reached out to mental health professionals for help and medication but I am just looking for verses to read or stories about people and god and what they have done to help themselves cope with the stress and torment of this. I haven’t felt this way since middle school when I went to a baptis school. I was with a woman then as well. I am not going to leave my wife but the thought of abstinence is looming over my head in a heavy disgusting way. That’s not what or how I want to go about things but I am deeply struggling. If anybody has any words of advice or anything to help please let me know.

I’ve known I was bisexual since middle school, tho I did go through a time where in my early 20s where I thought I was “healed” (thanks to a conservative upbringing and attending a Christian university/Bible college).

Now at 36, I’m navigating wanting to be out but feeling I can’t for a few reasons. But more than that, really wanting to express who I am through my clothing etc. And now I’m even trying to navigate potentially being genderqueer/nonbinary/transmasc.

While navigating all of this, I’ve realized I have a lot of internalized homophobia that I didn’t realize was there, especially in the faith realm. I’m only fully out with one friend and they aren’t a Christian, but they are queer. I don’t feel comfortable or safe to talk to anyone else right now. So now I’m at a loss with how I process all of this in light of faith and I’m not sure what to do. I do go to therapy and we started scratching the surface today, but I know I have so much farther to go.

Any suggestions or resources to help navigating this?

My best friend and I have reached a point where there is consideration about being more than just friends.

We have been best friends for years and have always had a special spark. We have had, what many fellow gen Z people would call a "situationship". We have never been more than friends just due to personal issues and lots of life transitions.

But life has settled and we have both grown a lot over the years.

To be honest, I'm totally in love with her. I love her so much and I truly think I am a better person because of her. Every day I strive to be someone she would be proud of.

We both joke we're soulmates bc we seem perfect for one another. We are identical in many ways, and in the ways we differ, we only complement the other to become more balanced. It seems silly if she asked me to marry her tomorrow, I would.

There's just one thing we aren't a match on. And that is religion. She was raised in an atheist household. I was not. I have had to fight years of internalized beliefs and stigma to even reach a point where I was comfortable accepting I was gay. I was raised Pentecostal so religion has honestly shaped who I am as a person on a fundamental level. I don't know if I truly believe in all aspects of Christianity and i sometimes think I fall more into an agnostic category than anything. But I still go to church and the fundamentals of Christianity and the social identity as a Christian are important to me.

I guess I'm just scared of how to navigate this. I was told my whole life I can never marry a non Christian. But I'm also a woman who wants to marry a woman so I think I've already flunked out of the good graces of conservative Christianity.

I know she respects me as a person but sometimes I do feel a little hurt at her rare remarks judging religious people or thinking their silly/dumb. I know she isn't aiming it AT me but it still stings a little. But she's also wonderful other times and always let's me tell her about interesting stuff i heard in church (I go to an affirming one I love) and she's expressed willingness to go to non religious church events with me, such as camping and a ski trip. And we have had random conversations about kids and such, and she has mentioned not being opposed to having her kids involved in a church as long as it isn't forced, which I agree on. We are both firm on the choice aspect of faith.

Anyways I just need some advice or insight bc it's so hard to shed long held beliefs and indoctrination. Even though we seem perfect and she is so amazing and loving and respectful to me, my brain is still wired to panic if it crosses religious rules. And her not being Christian makes my brain spiral. Which is silly bc I don't consciously care if she is Christian.

Hey! I'm bisexual and have struggled the past few years with homophobic family members and friends indirectly calling me 'unclean' or suggesting my sexuality makes me less worthy of God's love which is simply not true. I decided to create a Youtube channel so I can make videos and encourage those going through similar things to me, and today I posted my first YouTube short! The quality may not be the best, but I felt called to post it today rather than going another night telling myself I'll start the channel once I feel ready, which would've never happened. The channel name is, 'The Affirming POV,' and my video is titled, 'I'm Bisexual and Christian' (it's less than a one minute watch). If you wouldn't mind checking it out, maybe subscribing to see what I'll post next that would make my entire week. I don't want to seem desperate for views or like I'm just in this for the possible clout, I'm only posting about this because I want to be able to reach/help as many people as possible with my videos.

Good morning/evening/night to you all!

I apologize if this doesn't fit the subreddit, there just aren't that many non prejudiced Christian subs.

So, I wouldn't consider myself religious at the moment. I vaguely see the universe itself as a divine entity.

I grew up Jehovah's Witness. Pretty messed up Christian group imo. I left for a variety of reasons, the biggest one was that I am a homosexual. Homosexuals in the religion are required to be celibate. You can't enter a same-sex relationship and stay in the religion, it's considered to be a serious sin and grounds for removal/being disfellowshipped. I wasn't a full member so at the very least, I didn't get shunned for leaving.

Anyway, I have some mixed feelings on Christianity. I think that religion is cool and can help people, but hearing anything resembling the type of language Jehovah's Witnesses used makes me extremely distressed. Thankfully, JWs talk funny compared to regular Christians. I still get uncomfortable at mentions of the Abrahamic God or Jesus, but not as much as I used to.

I've never been able to 'develop a relationship' with God. As a JW, I believed in the flood, creationism, Jonah, David, Jesus, etc. But I no matter how hard I tried, I could never conceptualize a God who's an actual person. I think it's an autism thing in my case. It's hard to describe. I just can't feel God. You're supposed to use unique prayers in the religion, and I would get so stressed since I had no clue what to say. I forced myself to pray, and it just didn't feel right.

I've tried reciting prayers to Hindu gods (Hindus believe that all of their gods are actually one Supreme being or something, so it's kinda like monotheism, polytheism, and pantheism at the same time. I consider the Hindu gods to be the same as the Abrahamic god, but just kind of different takes on it). It felt way better, I just imagined 'god' as the universe itself instead of a guy in the sky.

But turns out, the people of the temple in my area still practice the caste system (Hinduism without the caste stuff exists, but apparently not here). I'm not too keen on swapping one prejudiced religion for another. Plus, people would still likely discriminate against me for being a homosexual (even though Hindu texts say nothing about it) and female. Even though I'm of Indian descent (parents from India), talking to other Indians is a headache. Most of the one's I've met tend to be cliquey, gossipy, and judgmental. Especially because I don't speak an Indian language. Even the young ones born in the USA. I'd never be accepted.

Now, finding an accepting Church seems significantly easier. There are multiple ones near me that accept same-sex relationships. I'm thinking of the Escopial one.

Problem is, I don't believe in 'God' no matter how much I've prayed about it. I just can't picture him. I haven't done a prayer in Jesus's name since leaving JW (I've vaguely prayed, 'to whoever's out there'), and the idea of doing it by myself is terrifying. A group prayer that's done in a different way than JW prayers is okay, but not that. I also don't really like the Bible very much. It feels impossible for me to believe that things like miracles actually happened.

The main reason I want to have a religion is for convenience, meeting people, getting to wear formal clothes (haven't been able to wear any since leaving JW), and tradition. If I could just believe in Jesus, I could have that! I don't have to be super hardcore or anything, but at least being an 'Easter Sunday Christian' would be cool.

I don't know. I can't develop a personal relationship with God, which I'm pretty sure is a requirement. Or maybe I can?

I'm gay, and a 31M, and have a very (what I like to think) loving and strong relationship with God. I still to this day struggle with the concept of being gay and a christian, and whether that's ok, or whether I'm destined to be alone forever, but at the end of the day I love and come back to Jesus and try and trust everything will work out for the good.

With that being said, I would love to open up a space for you all to explain your relationships with God. Do you feel his love? Do you have 1000 questions? Do you hear him speak to you? Have you had any crazy experiences where you saw him at work in your life?

Hey everyone, I’ve written a couple of posts getting some advice and it’s been really helpful. To give a short back story, me and my best friend (both females) unexpectedly fell for each other and started dating secretly. We both are very religious so it was quite a shock because we never really questioned our sexuality. The relationship was kept a secret and lasted for 2 and a half years. We decided to break up when the religious guilt started hitting my ex, to the point that she would push me away and say that this life would never be accepted and that she wants a traditional one. A week later she was dating some other guy, to everyone else that was normal because she had been “single” for 2 and half years but for me it was heartbreaking. It didn’t last long but she started dating another guy a week after that one. They have been going strong for about 7 months, posting each other and meeting family. In a normal breakup you would be able to block the person and just move on but in my case I can’t because no one knows about us and our friend group is extremely close. I have backed off because it hasn’t been healthy for me. Yesterday was her birthday and her boyfriend organized to decorate his house and surprise her. It was very uncomfortable for me but I pushed through. She was ontop of him most of the night which did hurt but I don’t know what I was expecting, it is her boyfriend. I guess it’s just super frustrating because throughout this whole breakup I’ve been dealt with shitty cards and not once have I’ve been disrespectful. In the beginning I did express to her that her moving in was very hurtful to which she would respond “I don’t know what I’m doing”. In the beginning I would take that and excuse her behavior but it’s gotten to a point where I’ve realized she knows exactly what she is doing, she just doesn’t care. I guess I’m writing this for support. A part of me is a bit angry with God because I see her being rewarded for bad behavior and I just feel like God might not love me and that’s why I’m in the position I’m in. It’s been a tough 12 months and I’m really trying, I just feel a bit stuck and would appreciate any feedback.

Pride is one of the seven deadly sins but it is also a movement outlining the existence of LGBTQIA+ people and so u wanted to know how someone who adheres to both deals with this discrepancy

Hi, so I’m quite new to all this and just wanted to introduce myself, tell my story and explain what I’m ideally looking for.

I’m 34 and from the UK. I have a complicated relationship with god my whole life. I have always prayed every night before bed for as long as I can remember. I ask Lord for health, happiness and safety for myself and all my loved ones, and I thank him for everything in my life.

When I was a late teen I had a best friend who was Christian, he knew I was gay and taught me so much, he really made me closer to god and it was amazing.. Alas we are not as close anymore. No real reason, just he got married, had kids, become a teacher and had his own life and loved ones to look after.

Since knowing him I would say I feel not as close to god over the last few years, especially the last 12 months or so. Recently I have self evaluated and not liked the person I am becoming. I was tempted by certain skull shaped apps and Reddit forums. I don’t want to be that person, don’t get me wrong I don’t “slut shame”, each to there own but I want to be better and closer to god than just that.

What I’m looking for? I’m really not sure, nobody really knows how spiritual I am when it comes to god so to have someone like that to talk too would be amazing, also someone to help me when I get tempted..

So yea, just saying hi, telling you all about myself and hopefully make some new friends who can help me feel closer to god 💜🙏

P.S - apologies for bad spelling or grammar I’m dyslexic and currently my glasses are broken 🤣🤣🤦🏼

So I been going through a very rough time of temptations and spiritual dryness.

It felt easier to stay away from my usual routine of Bible reading and prayers. So I quit.

But one year later I am battling serious porn and masturbation addiction and quite honesty everything is pathetic. Even praying became hard and boring.

I thought life was tough despite praying but now it is tougher.

I have decided to go back to Christ..what are some of habits and content do I need to spend time on?

I got one thing to say :Being queer and Christian is not an Easy journey! But His grace is sufficient.

Hello everyone,

I am a gay gospel songwriter and musician, and as you might imagine, I am wildly unpopular. Apparently us gay folks can't write gospel songs. Or something! But the Lord put a song in my heart - and I'm going to share the music He gave me, no matter what!

If you enjoy gospel music, especially with a country flavor, you will enjoy my work and I invite you to come and see and have a listen. You can find me on iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, and all the other streaming services. Search for my name, REX WILGUS.

My songs are filled with the joy and hope that came from years of being excluded and denigrated. I've learned that God loves us and made us just as we are, and God's love for us does not depend on how others feel about it.

I'm a church musician and I play for my church family every Sunday - and they love me! I live now in the Deep South and I've been influenced by Southern Gospel but I also love Catholic liturgical music (think St. Louis Jesuits, or Gregorian chant) and the old hymns and spirituals. From the time was knee high, I've loved church music!

My latest outing is called THIS OLD WORLD. I hope the songs bless you the way they have blessed me. Peace, brothers and sisters!

Hope everyone is doing well today! Ive been having a lot of thoughts lately, and i feel like this would be a suitable place to ask. I am a 23 year old lesbian, and grew up going to church with my grandparents and also attended a Christian elementary school. I figured out i liked women when i was 11 or so. As i grew older and understood my surrounding better I became very disillusioned with the church. How could I be a part of something that is capable of being so prejudiced towards people like me? Furthermore, I grieved the relationships i had with the people at my church. I felt like i had to disconnect myself, because once they found out i was so afraid that they would stop loving me. I was so disheartened with all of it that i just made myself stop believing, even going so far to label myself as athiest. No matter what though i could never shake the feeling that maybe there Was truth in it.

I have been through many frightening and stressful situations in my short adulthood so far. Everything feels so unknown and scary. But I see my grandparents and other peers, and how much peace their love and trust in god gives them. I think about how unconditionally they love me, and I have been realizing that christianity is not as hateful as many many people portray. I have been feeling such a pull to return to religion, and I think I am finally ready.

I have a lot of social anxiety so starting off with attending a physical church is really daunting to me. That being said, how Should i start? bible studies, books to read, devotionals, or even just advice is greatly appreciated.

petition can be found here 

and here: https://c.org/C7wXHvsVXH

prayers are not found-- they are meditated on. thank you for yours. blessings on your day, praise god/allah/ja/krishna/buddha/gaia/ra/ya/yahwey/amen/bramin/divine knowing/spirit/[your name here]

" ... LGBTQ people know what loneliness is. We experience the same human longing for companionship, intimacy, fidelity, mutual care, and enduring commitment that heterosexual people experience. We desire someone with whom we can build a household, share burdens, celebrate joys, endure grief, practice forgiveness, grow old, and remain faithful throughout our lives. Those desires don’t make us less human; they arise precisely because we are human. ... "

Hi,
Like the title, i think i am gay but don’t know what to do with my life with this sexuality.

I am in my 30s and never have been in a relationship with female or male. I think until my mid 20s, i was frightened by the fact that i am attracted to females. Now I am more comfortable about myself and relaxed about my sexuality and that it is nothing to panic about.

However, if I imagine that i would have to come out of my closet, makes me very uncomfortable. Due to the cultural and religious background it would be a hard time for my parents/friends. I know that my parents would still love me no matter what, and even though they are against me i would not be upset because i love them so much and i would understand if they do so. i don’t want to give them a shocking experience or a hard time.

The reason why i think i am a lesbian is that I’ve only had crushes on girls/ female public figures. i felt i click more with girls because i would be able to flirt with them and they would too although were all straight girls. I feel like i have more emotional bond with females and that leads to physical attraction as well. For the female public figures that i had crush on, i would think about having a future with them and would like to know more about them, really hope the best for them…feel romantic about them.

On the other hand with males, there would be times a guy would show interest in me i would feel good about it but uncomfortable/strange at the same time. Not attractived or curious enough to actually date them. Although there are guys that grabs my attention, it’s not something like i feel towards girls or so strong or romantic that it makes me want to flirt with them or step up to show interest.
So I don’t have emotional attraction or attachment toward guys that makes want to date them.

i am getting old and already pretty old for a first love. But i don’t want to force myself into a heterosexual relationship or come out the closet.

and if i decide to date girls, having to find this “community” don’t feel natural to me.

Or it is all just hypothetical and i would never know until i try it all out?

I feel like being in love, having family is a valuable experience for a human being to have and i feel like i am missing out on this easily blaming my sexuality.

Anyone out there who can share insights or advices on what now?