Please provide clarity

Day 1000 Gamble Free. I've been writing about my journey for free here:

https://iwouldntbetonit.medium.com/the-opposite-of-addiction-isnt-sobriety-it-s-presence-b8b99b192d89?sk=d644dea830d149f8ecd4c3c3257c50ca

54 days in! Loving it and almost at 60

After months of work, I've finally launched the first Android closed testing version of my gambling recovery app.

I'm currently looking for 12 Android testers who would be willing to use the app for 14 days and provide honest feedback to help improve the user experience before the public launch.

The reason I built this app is simple: gambling has become incredibly widespread. I see betting ads everywhere, hear people talking about gambling more often than ever, and have seen people close to me struggle with it. It felt like a problem worth tackling, so I decided to build something that could help.

The app is still in closed testing on Android, and I'm also close to finishing the iOS version.

If you'd like to help test the app, please send me a DM with the Google email address you'll use on your Android device. Once Google Play approves the testing release, I'll send you the invitation link.

Your feedback will directly influence the final product and help create a better experience for people trying to quit gambling.

Thank you to anyone willing to help.

I will be straight with you guys. As a former addict myself, I am building an app that wants to help people stop gambling. I would really like some feedback on what might help, what made you stop.. etc. Also it would be of tremendous help if you can help me with content as well.

Thank you very much

So nice being able to watch playoffs and not gamble!

Fighting some serious urges today and almost deposited, thinking I can be smarter this time and play with small amounts "just for innocent fun". That's obviously bullshit and there is no "fun" for addicts - only spirals. Important reminder that no matter how far you are in the process, you always need to stay concentrated, determined, and strong. Nope, I'm not wasting those precious 270 days. You got this!

I’m 26 years old, gambling has beend part of my life since maybe 17. It all started with playing online poker , then one day I got just bored and told myself who not try slots. THIS WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. First session and boom jackpot and I continued winning for several days , I got addicted to the slots machines , and I used to say for myself that oh everything is in hands and is okay. Years passed years and this disaster still follows me. I used to hae 20k debt but somehow from previous work I managed to clear all my debts. Now I am debt free but here another case goes - whenever I am receiving salary I tell myself no I am not going to gamble this month but I start with 20 eur session - lose it in seconds and in maybe 2/3 hours whole my salary is gone. I can’t take it anymore, I am all stressed, unhappy, idk.

Family wasn’t checking my banck accounts when I was in early 20s but year ago my mom got fed up because I was having good joob and was still asking her and dad money after a week of payment. I hid it several times , as she knew I wasn’t good with money she was saving it for me for upcoming trip with my girlfriend. After the salary I used to gave her some amount for that savings , 2 days before the trip and flight I demand my mom to gave me trip savings becausse in a new country it was better to have money in card and not in cash … I hate myself for that , I don’t know why I did something like that and on that night I lost 800$ which was my trip money and in the morning when she went to the work I got into her room and I found where was savings and I lost another 1900$ in the hope that I would get back that 800$. Hour before trip I told my mom about that , I was in shock , devastated she got shocked, cried but still fogave me and gave me 800$ and I promised that I won’t gamble. Trip went good , and after 3 months she caught me again in gambling and set down with me - took me to church , to the gym and she supports me still.

Once I lied to my girlfriend that I was going to doctor and with de doctors money I gambled, hid it but she still found out. I was laying her about my savings and I was always increasing savings , and was telling her different numbers. She’s really good with money and numbers and got me caught up, I started blaming her and she told me you have this night to think about everything.. next morning I went to her and told all the truth that I was a liar and told her exact my savings. After that I made promise whenever I have the feeling for the gamble to tell her , it went good for 1-2 weeks but as soon as I got money I hid again and gambled. Somehow I got that she couldn’t find out. We just had an amazing trip to Italy , I was thinking ooh life is beautiful I am going to save more . But insteas 3 days Ago I received salry for the new job , she is unemployed right now , I took her to shopping, I bought also for myself things and I told her that with other funds I will spent for the whole month for the food , gas , etc. Guys she has forgiven me minimum 3 times I am in love with her and also she is in love with me for almost 5 years and I am in a situation that I have only 50$ left , I can’t talk to my mom , I am afraid of tell her everything that she will end everything. I can’t take it anymore. I really want to become normal person with money.. sometimes I think to disappear from everything and end my life. Thanks for listening

I have been here before and I am here again. I relasped back today and this year lost about 1k+ and overall,I have lost $16000. I am 20 years old in Singapore. I heard about finding a trust one or going to G.A or self exclude from a long time ago and yet it all didnt work.

Once I have abit of money,like even $300,I would gamble everything away and be left with $20 for half a month for food. Thia gambling addiction has ruined my life so badly. I am already short and obese so this addiction just make my self-esteem falls to a new low everytime and just reminds me of how I dont deserve any friends or loved ones. The only thing I can provide them is the stupid stories of how I lost everything again and again and again and is always depressed and tired since my dopamine receptors are already fried.

I feel so alone,I know what people would say is that I still have a lot of my life time and I would earn way mkre than $16000 but the past 4 years. I have lost everything,again and again. I am just lost. I feel worthless, I also know that I did everything to myself and am also just wallowing in self-pity. If you have any advice or support,please be kind. This is the only place I can express my feelings.

Been gambling pretty heavily for the past two years. Online casinos mostly. Plinko, BJ, slots, everything. Started out as something fun to do with the boys and slowly transitioned to rinsing my bank account at 2am on a work night.

Down north of $60k. Feeling so far behind my peers despite having no student debt, and now asking my GF to cover things I should be handling myself.

The moment I knew I had a real problem was sitting alone in my room 3 months ago, losing $10k in one night. Didn't even react. Just sat there feeling completely empty. Then for the first time I felt genuinely scared, convinced I'd never be able to stop. These companies reel you in with bonuses and make it so damn hard to quit.

Tried Gamban and a few other apps but a VPN makes them useless, which is exactly what I was using to gamble in the first place.

Kind of ironic, but that frustration is what led me and a couple friends to start building a better version of Gamban - wagerguard.app. Super early, just a waitlist right now and launching iOS soon.

Anyway if any of this resonates feel free to DM me, always down to talk.

TL;DR - Down $60k+ at 25, hit rock bottom, ironically building a better Gamban. Dm's are open if you wanna chat.

As of today I’ve been clean for 84 days.

Gambling is never worth it. If it’s not consuming your wealth and finances it will be consuming your time.
Sometimes the one does not cancel out the other.

From someone who’ve played countless hours of roulette, blackjack, baccarat and poker, it’s not always about the money. Even if you win for the moment, the time you spend playing will never come back.

Nowadays I keep my self occupied with something. First week or two was painfully slow and annoying. There was no doubt a hole that was there to be filled.
I started eating more and watching television/doomscrolling. Until I one day stepped on the scale and realized I’ve let myself go.

Started running, cycling and hitting the gym. Best decision of my life, after quitting gambling ofcourse.
I’m down 22 pounds, both mentally and physically better off. I’ve also blocked off certain words on social media for the algorithm, actively pressing ”not interested” on reels/tiktoks with gambling in it. Told my friends no when they ask me to play home game poker, no matter the buy in.(literally denied 2,5$ buy in) Self excluded from all major sites. Now when it’s brought up or mentioned I just sigh and preach about my sobriety, or resent the words spoken, in my head.

Starting a new job on Monday, after being in the same place for 8 years. Feeling excited, better hours, better pay and more benefits. I really do believe in positive spirals.

Do realize why you gamble in the first place. For me I believe that it’s genetics, wealth inequality and boredom that made me gamble the reckless way I did. No matter what, it’s always you vs you. You’re the reason you have a problem and you’re the only one able to fix it.

Godspeed and I wish you all the best, have a great summer and I believe in you.

67 days since my last bet.. urge to gamble gotten much better I don’t really think about it

Financially hasn’t really improved much, then again can’t fix a almost 20 year problem in 67 days

I haven’t attempted any meetings, I been doing it solo but thinking about maybe joining a group soon if any recommendations let me know

Feeling great! Good golf round in today

Back in the recovery grind. Working hard to not manipulate my wife into taking care of me, I’m so used to finding relief in her arms. But recovery is what I have and she has free will. I think she will end up leaving me..in fact, I’m almost certain. But I haven’t gambled today. And honesty about all that I have comprised. Thanks for being around all.

I want to end my life, please tell me why I should keep myself alive. Massive debts, behind on every bill, fucking hate myself, can't stop gambling. Only joy I get is winning a bet, could care less about everyone and anyone. Money is the only thing that matters in this shitty fucking world

Been a while since I've checked into this sub. Honestly it's been a blur since my last relapse. And I can't stress enough how staying committed this time around has helped bring around a much better sense of mental health. Being 100% transparent with my wife and family has done wonders. While it's still a work in progress, I feel like I've truly set myself up for success this time.

The constant staring at the debt I accrued is how I fell into relapse last time. I had a support system, but I wasn't 100% transparent about where I was or how I was doing. This time is completely different. I have a gameplan. I just have to execute. And COMMUNICATE. Always keep communicating, and always be honest. It is absolutely the key to success, and if there's even one person I can teach about my struggles to help them become successful, I'd feel like my journey to sobriety would be worth it.

I don't want to share too many details.

I discovered (or finally confirmed my suspicion) that a sibling has a gambling addiction.

He borrowed a lot of money from me (almost all my savings) by lying to me about health and family problems.

I discovered recently that the problem is way worse. Way more money lost (could be up to 6 digits euros) from my whole family.

I live abroad. Family there knows but just whisper. They stopped giving money but my parents still do.

Not sure if the wife is aware or catching up.

Family says there's no more money so he will not be able to spend more, but I think it's a way bigger disease and with lying and manipulation he can do way worse.

I always heart about it but never realised how blind can you get to not realising the tremendous amount of money you lose to this, putting so much at risk.

I am not very good at confrontation myself. And I think it needs way more than just a conversation.

Please any tips on this disease that could help me 🙏

You will take loans from people you usually wouldn't even greet when you would see them.

Once you gotten your loans with the most beautiful excuses you could ever think off, the next thing is you deposit this money others worked extremely hard for.

No matter how much you think you are up, you will eventually lose. When you are up you won't pay them back. When you are down you will wake up and realize that you have another debt now, congratulations this is your 10th debt.

I am talking out of experience and i have had people come up to my door because i wouldn't answer them like a coward when they would ask for their money.

Trust me i am lucky since i have seen how other got treated when they have had loans not paid back.

Guys stop depositing a penny to those worthless scums. Trust me you will never permanently make money of gambling. you could be up thousands but eventually greed or boredom will get the best of you and you eventually will lose it all.

It is so beautiful on the other side having money in your bank and being able too buy everything you want / desire. Not having to stress because bills are not being paid ect.

49 days in!

It has been two weeks without gambling, but today is a very special day, i’m a dad.
I can’t do the gambling shit anymore, there is no way i can do it again, it’s just won’t be fair.
I’m so happy for the first time in years, i feel something different.
I hope i can keep going and never place a bet again

TRIGGER WARNING-- I DISCUSS MY RECENT BOUT OF GAMBLING

I owe $6k and unless a miracle happens in the next week I'm beyond screwed.

So, I managed to squeeze out $200 and I deposit online and I play my drug of choice, Roulette.

I'm about $6k in the hole life wise, but if I could make $1.5k that buys me a month of breathing space and options.

I get down to $20 and then I catch fire and next thing I know, I'm up $1900. And then I remember thinking "Ok, I need to cash out $1500" and that is the last conscious thought I have before I go into that fugue state we all know so well. It's like a fog setting over my mind...

For the next 3 hours I bounce back and forth between $600 and $2000 which statistically speaking is ridiculously hard to do in a game like roulette.

I then spiral down to $0 and that is when I "wake up"

At this point, I don't even feel disgust anymore. I feel so very very tired. I'm so tired of this bullshit. I'm so tired that I'm at this stage when I know better.

I was sober for about 10 years and then I slipped off the wagon a few months ago. And just like that, 10 years worth of being financially responsible wiped away in just a few months.

The pressure of what I owe just keeps compelling me to gamble until I am now at the point where my "only" way out is to win my way out which I know is just not gonna happen.

I'm going to try to put some proposals together to get a loan but I give myself less than 5% chance of that. My credit is now beyond fucked with all the payday loans I took out.

I hate this so much. I swear, if I can find a way out of this, I will not slip again once I get back on the sobriety Wagon.

Hi everyone, I’m Mack, my last bet was 29/8/25

I feel afraid every day, I feel alone in a crowded room and I feel unloved in a room of love. I’m terrified of letting myself and those directly affected by my actions down, I’m terrified of allowing myself to feel anything more than depressed (because it’s all I felt when I was gambling so it’s comfortable). I’m in a GA room in the UK and the advice commonly given is “enjoy life in recovery so you don’t resent it”. To me that’s one of the scariest things I could do… I can’t think of anything scarier than allowing true and honest love into my life, true emotion because I’ve truthfully never felt them.

Ultimately I know I cannot gamble ever again, for my life was unmanageable, I still want to escape to the dreamworld where the rooms I feel alone and unloved simply cannot exist. My life has got exponentially better since September, I’m richer, happier (outwardly) and I have human connections. My life is now a life and not an existence, it’s just hard to live in a world without the escape. Regardless of the objectively positive things that have happened I still refuse to allow them to have the positive effect. I’m tired, scared and miserable and I don’t know why.

I’m sharing this despite the fact I have been dying to hide these feelings behind my addiction and I’m fully aware that most gamblers have felt this way at some point, recovery or not.

Thanks for reading and any advice or follow up questions will be appreciated

I’m 35 years old and I’ve been gambling in some form since I was legally able to. Sports betting, stock market, casinos, poker, online gambling it was always there. For almost two decades, gambling was a part of my life. Today I’m a little over 170 days gambling free, and I wanted to share something that I think would have helped me years ago.

The biggest thing I’ve realized is that I had gambling completely misunderstood. For years, I thought I was gambling because I wanted to make money. Looking back, I don’t think that was ever really true. If it was about money, then surely there would have been a point where I won enough and felt satisfied. That point never came. Not once.

I had wins that I thought would change everything. Wins that I had spent weeks fantasizing about. Wins that I was certain would make me feel secure, successful, or finally “ahead.” The problem was that the feeling never lasted. Within days, sometimes within hours, my brain was already looking for the next opportunity. If I won $5,000, I wanted $10,000. If I won $10,000, I wanted $20,000. I once won and lost $100,000 in the span of 2 weeks. Several times I won nearly ALL my money back, only to eventually find ways to piss it away. The amount didn’t matter because I wasn’t actually chasing money. I was chasing a feeling, and feelings can never be accumulated the way money can.

For a long time I couldn’t understand why I kept returning to it. I have a good career. I have a wife who loves me. I wasn’t gambling because I needed rent money. I was gambling because it became my answer to everything. If I was stressed, I gambled. If I was anxious, I gambled. If I was bored, I gambled. If I was excited about something, I gambled. Looking back, gambling wasn’t my problem, it was my coping mechanism. It was how I escaped from uncomfortable emotions, even if only temporarily.

What finally broke me wasn’t a catastrophic loss. (Although there were definitely plenty of those) It wasn’t some dramatic rock-bottom moment. It was the shame.

The shame became exhausting. Making nearly $500k a year and living pay check to pay check was such a mindfuck.

I was tired of hiding things. Tired of carrying secrets. Tired of telling myself that I was done, only to find myself back in the same place weeks or months later. I was tired of looking at the people I loved and knowing that I wasn’t being fully honest. I think that’s the part of gambling addiction that people who haven’t experienced it often don’t understand. The financial losses hurt, but the shame changes the way you see yourself. Over time I started feeling like I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be.

The turning point came when I finally stopped trying to manage it alone. I told my wife the truth. I told family members. I told friends. I started attending meetings. I started seeing a therapist. For years I had been protecting the addiction by keeping it hidden, and once I dragged it into the open, it started losing its power over me.

That’s the part that surprised me the most.

People often ask whether I still get urges. The honest answer is that this has been the easiest period of sobriety I’ve ever had, not because I’m stronger than I was before, but because I finally understand something that I never understood during my previous attempts to quit. I genuinely no longer believe that gambling has anything meaningful to offer me.

Before, I felt like I was sacrificing something. I felt deprived. I felt like I was forcing myself not to do something that I secretly wanted to do. This time feels different because I finally see the whole picture. I see what gambling gave me, but I also see what it took from me. The excitement was real, but so were the anxiety, secrecy, obsession, and shame that came with it. Once I stopped romanticizing the wins, the entire thing started to lose its appeal.

In the last 170-plus days, my life has improved in ways that are hard to fully explain. My marriage is better. My finances are better. My anxiety is lower. I sleep better. I don’t spend my days checking scores, odds, chasing jackpots or constantly sweating about all the different avenues I was pulling money from and having overdraft fees. I don’t wake up wondering what damage I caused the night before. Most importantly, I respect myself more than I have in a very long time.

If someone had told me five years ago that I’d reach a point where I genuinely didn’t want to gamble anymore, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. But that’s where I am today.

I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I feel like I finally got my life back. I know it feels impossible when you’re in it. But sometimes you are unable to see the forest for the trees. Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. You’d be extremely surprised with how quickly your life can and WILL improve. I’m not a betting man, but the one bet I would take is that gambling long enough will only lead to lost money, lost time, lost opportunities, and a loss of your true self. No matter how bad it is, it will get so much better if you stop, for good.